• Member Since 19th Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Viatorem


Better late than never

T
Source

After more than 1000 years of struggles, Arceus has decided that it is time for him and his family to take a break, but what started as a visit to Equestria, becomes a rollercoaster of emotions when Celestia and Arceus begin to develop strong feelings for each other.

Edited by:
"Bronyshot2020"
"Misty Dolphin"

Note:

This fic takes place after the events of the MLP Christmas especial ("Perfect Gift") and the entirety of the "Pokémon Mystery Dungeon" saga, this means that I won’t be touching the events of the 9th season of MLP as well as the 7th generation of Pokemon (but I will make a little reference about their existence).

Also, I have taken some inspiration from: "A New World A New Way" a fanfic crossover between Pokémon and MLP, written by: "zeusdemigod131"

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 79 )

Cool idea for a story. But please reread your chapters and check your grammar and spelling. A large amount of words are misspelled and the grammar could use some minor polishing.

hmm.. slow chapter, but as a prologue, that's fine. looking forward to more, it seems good so far. what really matters, is the next chapter and how you go about it. god luck.

p.s you keep writing 'being' as 'been'...something to go back over.

Is finally over” Arceus thought as he took a deep breath “Is finally over!” He said whit a chuckle.

it's as in “it is”
with

repaired temporal tower.

break whit so many members of my family

With

This felling of sadness was replace by a strong sentiment of guild when he started to remember how particularly hard the last mouths had been for some members of his family.

guilt

In spite of all my comments, this a good story! Just run it through an English spelling/grammar checker before uploading!

9341831
THX :twilightsmile:

And yes i'm aware this chapter was slow, that was the idea (i actualy add it to the author's note), but don't worry next chapter will be more interesting.

Also, is good luck, not god luck :trollestia:

JK :scootangel:

9342460

9342462

9342466

9342467

9342472

THX for pointing up those mistakes, i have already fix them :twilightsmile:

By the way, can you recommend me some English spelling/grammar checker, please? :pinkiehappy:

9343083
Microsoft Word’s built in, Grammarly(freemium)

oooo... it's getting there!

9354100
I know :twilightsmile:

By the way, there are some mistakes here and there, I will fix them in the morning, right now is 2:00 am where I live and my internet is not responding that well.

9354104
i noticed them, and i'm glad you're aware. also, i've been using a 10 dollar hot spot for 4 months. i know your pain

9354110

OK, I'm late but I finally fix the mistakes (i had somethings to do and I was not able to fix them until now), that been said, if I didn't fix something, fell free to tell me.

Also, the problem with my internet is that i use the national company servece (the chepes service in my country) and it sucks, but I can work with it, sometimes.

New chapter is coming out this Friday Saturday, sorry for taking so long / :twilightblush:

some spelling errors, but nothing major. looking good , lookin forward to the next.

Wait... Faust isn’t an Alicorn? Or is she just hiding her wings?

9401155
Do you mind pointing them up? :twilightblush:
I been busy and I don't want to lose what little free time I have fixing mistakes instead of writing the new chapter.

9401350
Yep, she's actually passing as an Equestrian writer, but more of that on the next chapter

9404639
sure. i'll run thru the chapter again in a few minutes.

This story is really good keep up the good work 0w0

I am liking this story so far, but it has many errors throughout the chapters.

Based on the fact that the grammar is mostly fine but the spelling of words is incorrect, I can only assuming that you don’t know how some words are meant to be spelled. Microsoft Word is a good software to use while writing something, as it has a built in spell check. I highly recommend getting access to Word rather than typing in what I am currently assuming to be Google Docs. Docs does not properly spell check if the word has more than 1 or 2 characters off of what it is meant to be.

A few things I have noticed over and over are as follows: Firths is supposed to be first, you have used mane where I can only assume name will work, and whit is spelled with. These mistakes were not all made in this chapter, but more of misspellings I have noticed throughout reading the story so far.

Keep on writing the story, but be mindful of the spelling errors; either get a word processing software or get an editor.

Ps. The part around her neck is a peytral, her head covering is a crown and the things on her hooves are called hoof guards.

9565735

Thx for the feat back, is good to know you are liking the story so far :twilightsmile:

As for the spelling errors, I have been using Microsoft Word to write this story, the problem is that is an old version, well in general my equipment is very old, the HP laptop i been using to write this is like 10 years old, so as you can imagine, it’s has been quite the odyssey to write this fic; you don’t have any idea how annoying is to write half of a chapter just for all your work get deleted because the stupid laptop decided that a blue screen was more good looking that a Word document :raritycry:

Speaking of spelling errors, I wanted to know if you were interested in been my editor, like you said before, I really need one, although, I won’t be able to pay you :(

Ps: The for passing my the names of Celestia ‘s jewellery :twilightsmile:

yay! new chapter!! things are getting a little saucy O.o

Comment posted by Viatorem deleted Apr 26th, 2019

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“things are getting a little saucy O.o”

That’s the idea :trollestia:

No but seriously, i wasn’t planing to make the story this saucy -that’s why it was originally rated for everyone- but while writing chapter VI, I realised that it will be a good idea to make Celestia and Arceus romance a little more passionate, like a Greek romance -were the couple bangs almost every day- so I decided to introduce more saucy elements; I’m even considering making an explicit sex scene, just to have the entire packet completed; however, it if write that scene, it will be a separated story, something that can be skip if the reader doesn’t like that kind of stuff; but like I said, I considering the idea, so it might or not happen.

9589944
well, with him making breakfast...you're well on the way

9592421

And is going to get better :twilightsmile:

Unless I screwed it up :facehoof:

This sensation of guilt was able to overwhelm the alpha Pokémon, as single tier managed to escape his right eye.

The Tiers on the competitive are slipping from his hooves

Aside from the obvious grammar errors, I am liking this story

Looks like a good story. Is massively in need of a editor

10011644

THX, and yes, I know the fic needs an editor, I been doing some editing myself, but it’s a painful proses, and I prefer to concentrate my efforts and time in writing new chapters; that been said I been trying to get an editor, I haven’t had much luck

I can help with editing

10012250
Yes, private message me so we can talk in private (forgive the redundancy :P)

So, love the story. Gonna point out some of the most common mistake that I notice on this chapter. Hell, I had that mistake. It is the misspronunciation of "With".

1. Ctrl + F
2. Search word "whit"
3. Change "whit" to "with"

Whit
*a very small part or amount
"the last whit of warmth was drawn off by the setting sun"

With
*accompanied by (another person or thing).
"a nice steak with a bottle of red wine"

*possessing (something) as a feature or accompaniment.
"a flower-sprigged blouse with a white collar"

Same as before. Change "firths" to "first"

For future reference. Google docs is a good place to write stories. Its autocorrect(or mispelling error marks) feature is one of its best features.

Really like the story so far.

10022107

Thx, for both the tips and complements, good to know that you are liking the story so far.

Faust, try to be more subtle.

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