• Published 24th Mar 2019
  • 5,447 Views, 259 Comments

First Class Guards - ClanCrusher



Twilight is looking to hire guards for her castle. Derpy is looking for a new job.

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Epilogue

Breathe. You can do this.

Derpy made one last adjustment to her helmet to make sure it wouldn't tilt before she leaped from the starting line and flung herself at the stone wall, tightly holding the rope and pulling herself up. Tremors rippled through the wall and nearly threw her off, but her grip remained stable even as her body was shaken and jostled. Determined, Derpy hung on until the wave passed her and she climbed upward.

The waves intensified and the final buck would have shook her grip free, but Derpy was ready for it and kicked away from the wall at just the right moment to avoid the obstacle entirely before she rolled onto the cloud bank that awaited her at the top. Forgoing rest, she scrambled to her hooves, a strong leap taking her to the next cloud. She stumbled, once, and stalled, waiting for a more favorable pattern before she took the next several steps in sequence at a rapid pace.

Now she faced the Prism Gauntlet. Flare had explained the pattern to her numerous times, and she’d tried to learn but even now her best strategy was to simply trust her instincts. Instincts that immediately sent her stumbling under two beams, rolling out of the way of a third, and narrowly missing a dozen more as she reached the end and moved on to the sprint portion.

Somepony was waiting for her at the finish line.

“Good time, Derpy. A new best for you.”

Derpy ignored her fatigue as she straightened and saluted Tempest. “Thank you, commander.”

“At ease,” said Tempest before she passed Derpy her water bottle. “What brings you to the castle on your day off?”

Derpy downed half the bottle before she answered. “I wanted to get in more practice.”

“You're certainly free to use the castle as you wish, but overexertion will do you more harm than good.”

Derpy turned away with a light blush on her cheeks to avoid Tempest's gaze. “I don't want to fall behind.”

“Do you feel as though you're behind Flare and Lightning?” asked Tempest plainly.

“I just.I want to be more than lucky,” confessed Derpy sheepishly. “You said I shouldn't rely on it and I don't want to rely on it either. And you did give Flare and Lightning more work so I thought-”

Tempest raised a hoof and stopped Derpy's rambling. “Let's take a walk. You need a break.” Her tone left no room for debate, and soon Derpy was in step beside her as they left the obstacle course behind.

“I won't lie. In terms of physical ability, Lightning and Flare are quite a ways ahead of you. Flare has been training like this since birth and Lightning is an athlete who would have made the wonderbolts.”

Derpy sighed and hung her head. She'd come to much the same conclusion.

“Of course, if raw ability and potential were all that mattered, Lightning Dust would be leading the Wonderbolts instead of Spitfire.”

“Commander?” asked Derpy, puzzled.

“Form ranks! At attention, all of you!” The sudden shout traveled the length of the training field, interrupting Tempest's reply. Near the front of the castle, Lightning paced in front of a small group of pegasi with eyes narrowed. “Sloppy, all of you. Do you think this is some kind of race? This is a search and rescue drill. It doesn't matter how fast you are if you can't find your targets. Now, let's go over this patrol route one more time!”

Silently, Tempest and Derpy watched as Lightning went down the line, critiquing each of the ponies in turn while behind them the Cutie Mark Crusaders fought to hide their smug grins.

As the new recruits were chewed out over one detail or another, Derpy couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the pegasi as nothing seemed to have slipped Lightning's eye.

“Break ten and catch your breath, rookies. We'll be going another round once you're back!” A collection of groans met her declaration, but Lightning ignored it as she turned and approached Derpy and Tempest.

“Derpy. Commander,” acknowledged Lightning. “Come to strike fear into the new recruits?”

“And the old ones,” replied Tempest. “Your Spitfire impression is spot on.”

Lightning’s lip turned up in a small smirk. “It gets results. I'm still a ways from your death glare though. So whatcha here on your day off for?”

“Practicing,” replied Derpy meekly.

Lightning chuckled at that. “You push that course record down any more and they're gonna have to build a new one. I'm...what, two seconds behind you now?”

“Two and a half,” corrected Tempest. “Twilight does have plans for a new course, but that's not the reason I interrupted. I have a message to you from Spitfire.”

Tempest withdrew and presented her with a scroll. Derpy only needed a single glance at the ribbon to realize exactly what type of message it was.

“Oh...oh wow! Congratulations, Lightning!” Derpy exclaimed.

Shaking off her shock, Lightning unrolled the scroll and began reading. “Huh...I never actually thought...” she murmured, only to trail off.

“Are you...going to take it?” asked Derpy with a small quiver in her voice.

Lowering the scroll, Lightning's eyes flicked towards Tempest and then to Derpy. Finally she snorted and rerolled the scroll. “Nah. Send it back with my insincere apologies.”

Derpy squeaked and fumbled with scroll as Lightning tossed it at her. “Y-You mean-”

“When they want to make me a squad leader, then we'll talk,” replied Lightning haughtily. “Besides, things in the Wonderbolts aren't even a tenth as exciting as they are here.”

“I will be sure to pass along your message,” said Tempest with a tone that seemed to approach amusement.

With a final nod to Derpy, Lightning turned back to the recruits. “Alright, on your hooves! If you have time to eavesdrop, you don't need to catch your breath!”

“That was barely a five minute break!” protested one of the pegasi.

“Don't back talk me rookie or you'll be flying the next patrol with the weights on!”

Catching Derpy's eye, Tempest motioned toward the castle doors and the two of them left Lightning's shouts behind. “I used to think your lack of a poker face was a downside,” admitted Tempest, “but I now think it's one of your better qualities.”

“Really?” asked Derpy, astonished.

“Lightning saw your worry when you thought she might be leaving.”

Derpy blushed. “Oh. Well...I would have been sad to see her go.”

“I have a feeling she would have been sad to leave you behind. Maybe even Flare, too.”

The path Tempest took seemed rather indirect, wandering from the first floor to the second, a few more recruits passing by them, stopping only briefly to salute the pair.

“I feel like we make a really good squad,” admitted Derpy.

“You three do make a good squad,” corrected Tempest, “and I don't say that because of what happened with Spell Nexus.”

As Tempest was a pony who had always been sparing with her compliments, Derpy nearly did a double take at the continued praise. Instead, she managed just in time to stop the wide grin on her face and give a simple, humble, “Thank you commander. How is Spell Nexus?”

“Recuperating and being purged of dark magic. His office was searched and a number of Nightmare Moon artifacts were discovered. While it doesn't excuse what he did, Twilight theorized their continuous influence turned his reasonable security concerns into paranoia.”

“Have you considered using Pinkie's Party Dye on the artifacts? It worked really well for Nightmare Moon's armor.”

Tempest coughed. Had she just covered up a snort? “I’ll pass along your suggestion.”

The pair paused for a moment as the small group of recruits they'd passed earlier came back around, opening various doors and searching the rooms within.

Once the group had passed, Derpy opened up one of the nearby broom closets. “Have they come close to finding you yet, Swift?”

One of the objects in the broom closet that looked like a mop slowly turned, revealing itself to be a pony head instead of a mop head. “Two close shaves,” Swift replied in a whisper. “I'll jump out and surprise one of them in a bit.”

With a nod, Derpy shut the door and returned to Tempest's side. “He's really good, even without invisibility.”

“Clearly not the best though,” murmured Tempest. “So tell me, Derpy, what are you plans for the future?”

“I haven't really thought about it,” said Derpy. “A lot of the plans I tried to make before didn't work out for...reasons. Now I just try to adapt and take what opportunities come to me.”

“What if I told you that there's an opportunity for you here?”

Before Tempest could elaborate further, a voice floated through a nearby open door. “Is this really what you want, sis?”

“I don't know where you got the impression that I hate my job, Flash.”

Derpy paused at Flare's voice and motioned to the door. “Should we...”

“I had a talk with Iron Hoof,” conceded Flash. “She was...very direct.”

“She would be,” chuckled Flare. “Look, I don't hate you and I don't resent our parents. Do I wish I'd held my ground and stayed with Iron Hoof? Maybe. But there are good ponies here that are worth protecting, and they clearly need the help given what has happened in the last few months.”

“If you're sure, sis, but if you want to, I'll back you up against mom and dad. Everypony heard about what you did to Nightmare Moon's armor.”

“And I'll second that.”

Tempest's eyes widened slightly at the third voice. “Magnus?” she murmured aloud.

“You do?” asked Flare, the confusion clear in her voice.

“A hundred percent. You haven't forgotten my legend already, have you? Everypony always talks about the dragons and the trickery, but I've always remembered a different part of it.” The sound of metal sliding against metal spilled out into the hall.

“Is...is that your shield?” gasped Flare.

“Damn right. The only reason I'm standing here today is because the pony who made this did an amazing job. One corner cut and I'd have been a dead idiot rather than a living legend. The first thing I did after surviving that brush with death was to find Iron Phalanx and beg her to handle all of my commissions and gear from that point on. If your parents don't see the benefit of having an armorer in the family, I'll set them straight.”

Derpy couldn't quite hear Flare's reply, but she did hear Tempest's thoughtful 'hmm' next to her.

When she looked over, Tempest looked back at her steadily. “Interesting. I would assume we’d get an announcement for a pillar’s visit.”

“He...might have come because of a letter somepony sent,” said Derpy quietly, avoiding Tempest’s gaze again.

“Thank you, both of you,” came Flare's voice a bit louder now. “But you don't need to worry. I'm not letting my talents go to waste. I've been talking with Twilight about making her armor more cost effective and less energy intensive to produce.”

“Excellent,” said Magnus jovially. “I'd best get back to Canterlot before they send out a search party.”

“Can I ask one more thing from you, sis?”

“If you're going to try and get another picture-”

“One is enough!” said Flash hastily. “How about a hug from my favorite sister?”

“Only because we're not in public.”

There was a light clink of metal, some exchanged goodbyes, and a moment later Flash recoiled in surprise as he nearly bumped into Tempest outside the door. Quick to recover, the pegasus snapped off a salute and gave Derpy a smile before trotting off, Magnus following a pace behind.

When Flare emerged behind them, she didn't even look slightly surprised at Derpy's presence. “Could have sworn I shut this door...you talked, didn't you?”

Derpy shook her head. “Nope! I wrote a letter this time,” she said cheerfully.

Flare rolled her eyes. “You would.” Then, in a move that surprised both Derpy and Tempest, Flare stepped forward and wrapped Derpy in a hug. “Thank you.”

Even unexpected, Derpy was quick to return it. “You're welcome,” she replied, slightly muffled.

“I'm going to be careful about telling you secrets in the future though,” added Flare as she released Derpy.

“I'm just glad you could patch things up.”

“We'll see where things go from here,” corrected Flare, her tone a bit more cautious. “It's not as though Flash is any less of an oblivious dork, even if he is well meaning.”

“Speaking as your commander,” cut in Tempest with a raised brow. “I would assess that obliviousness is one of your family's shared traits.”

Flare jolted in place and made a belated salute at Tempest. “Sorry commander, was there something you needed?”

“I was wondering what your plans for the future were.”

“Well, in a minute I'm going to pull Swift Shadow out of hiding and embarrass the new recruits.”

“And after that? I hear you've been given an offer from Iron Hoof.”

Flare hesitated and her eyes flicked to Derpy before she replied. “And I'm going to be staying right here.” With a final nod to them both, Flare moved to the nearby broom closet and pulled it open. “I think we've enraged the recruits enough, Swift.”

With a gesture, Tempest led Derpy up the next flight of stairs.

“This place has gotten really lively,” observed Derpy.

“It's only going to increase,” said Tempest. “With a proper guard force looking after things, Twilight is planning on opening her castle to visitors. Particularly the library. Beyond that? Well, she has some big plans for Ponyville.”

Derpy stopped as Tempest slowed, ending their journey in front of Twilight's study.

“You recall before that I said I have an opportunity for you?”

Perplexed, Derpy nodded.

“I want-”

CRASH!

“So what did she say?” Twilight asked eagerly and blinked when she only saw Derpy in the hall.

“Too soon, Princess,” said Tempest patiently, stepping out from around the door.

“Oh...sorry, I'll just-eep!”

Twilight backpedaled into her study when Tempest closed the door.

“I want to promote you to squad leader,” said Tempest plainly.

Ignoring the squeak of surprise, Tempest continued. “It's not going to happen immediately. You still need some training and more experience, but I want to start grooming you for the position.”

Derpy looked as though she were about to hyperventilate. “But...but Flare...and Lightning-”

“-are both excellent choices. But above all else, a squad leader needs to inspire the ponies they lead, recognize their strengths, and know how best to use them.”

“You...see that in me?” asked Derpy, now practically breathless.

“I see flashes of it,” said Tempest. “And I see a lot of untapped potential. Even putting aside the crisis you helped resolve, you learned about your squad mates, helped them utilize their strengths while covering their weaknesses.”

Derpy's throat closed up slightly. She'd never heard Tempest give so much unconditional praise before, and she wasn't even finished.

“And however you manage it, ponies simply like you. And the castle? She really likes you, too. What do you say, Derpy? Do you want to put in the time and effort to become a proper squad leader?”

---

Twilight fidgeted in her chair while several small objects floated in her telekinetic field. She desperately wanted to hear the conversation outside her door, but she resisted the urge. She'd already embarrassed herself once by jumping the cart.

The second she saw the knob turn, Twilight teleported to the door and yanked it open, the objects on her desk falling into an unceremonious heap behind her. “Well? What did she say?”

Tempest smiled at Twilight’s antics and delayed responding for several seconds, clearly to make her squirm. “She said yes. Not in so many words, but I'll be starting her training tomorrow.”

Twilight beamed, only to hesitate as the rest of what Tempest had said sunk in. “Wait, what do you mean, 'in so many words'?”

Tempest stepped aside and revealed Derpy who was passed out on the floor with a dreamy grin. “Mare has no poker face whatsoever.”

Comments ( 60 )

A fine end to a wonderful story. Might we, perhaps see more of this in the future?

Cute as heck :twilightsmile:

Wow! That was fantastic. I am both.

THAT IS A GREAT ENDDING!!!
And
IT CAN NOT END!!!

9619298
I second this motion for more of this notion!

I loved every bit of this story

Wonderful read, start to finish.
I feel you did great justice to every character, even the tricky ones.

Thanks for sharing this here.
First Class Guards Story!

You know when I first saw this story I thought it'd be like, much longer.

Fantastic story. Thank you for it.

Good way to wrap up the story. 👍

this was a good story and i hope for a sequal. :twilightsmile:

This is a good story.

Aw dang I have no use for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) this time. D;

Thanks for the ride, this was great fun

I liked this story. It was fun and the comedy was on point. I hope there's a follow-up sometime.

Great story. If this story gets a sequel it would be great to incorporate all the other pony tribes; bat-pony unicorn and earth ponies into the mix. And it is Ponyville so you know their will always be interesting shenanigans that will need to be dealt with.

That's it? I kind of thought the story just started. Maybe a sequel is in the works? Even if it's not, this was still a really enjoyable story to read. Especially with characters who have personalities that are actually really difficult to get down properly. I like how you made Derpy her usual ditzy self, but not to the point where it became annoying, which is really hard to pull off. I really liked reading this and I hope there will be more in the future.

My only regret is that there isn't a "double-favorite" button. :rainbowlaugh:

I wanna sequel.

This story was fun. I very much enjoyed it.

Really good story. Have all the likes

And the castle? She really likes you, too.

"Of course I do. She was the first one who even thought I had an opinion, much less cared about it."

Fantastic work. I hope to see more of these knuckleheads in the future. Especially the continuing career of Lady-General Hooves.

Damn, this is over already? It was so good!
I dont have time to read the comments so ill ask,
Do you plan on having a continuation of this? I would be excited to read it.
If not then ill also admit that this is still a good place to end. Even if I feel like something is missing... not sure what though.

Feels like it was cut short a bit, but still a great story!
Hope you'll eventually do a sequel though.

Really great story but short. I wasn’t expecting an epic but Dust and Flare’s stories get wrapped up super fast considering they are the main characters.

Wait... that's the end? A little disappointment would have loved to see way more of this, could have sworn this story could have gone on for much longer.

And I totally want to draw art of this story but I don't have any artistic talent ;-;

One: Great story.

Two: You've got a solid foundation for more, if the pages turn your way. I have every hope that they will.

Yeeeeeeees, I knew Derpy was going to make a command position before this was all over. Like Tempest, I saw the makings in her almost from the beginning, and I figured Tempest could see it too. She's Tempest, after all, she prides herself on noticing these sort of things. :pinkiehappy:

Unlike others, I'm actually okay with the story ending here, as it seems like a good place to end it. Wraps things up nicely, leaves all of the cast members in a good spot, character development-wise, and sets things up nicely that we can be assured their adventures go similarly well in the future, even without seeing them. You can't ask for much of a better end to a story, structurally and tonally, and I really enjoyed it from start to finish. :twilightsmile: To think I had nearly passed this fic by when it first appeared. :rainbowlaugh:

That all said, though...I'm certainly not against any follow-ups to this either. :raritywink:

9620460 Uhm... wow...

It's is NOT possessive. It's a contraction (see?) of 'it is'.

'Its' is the possessive form.

I scored phenomenally in English class, destroying the curve as I did in most classes due to my excessively convoluted cerebral cortex, a byproduct of the overexpression of several long noncoding RNAs which regulate the expression of a number of neurogenic fact- (NEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDD!!) Wait, what?

Very nice. Good length and interactions throughout.

9622195
I think you're reading more into what Flash is doing rather than what Flare is doing. Flash is happy for her, so naturally, that means he must be gloating and rub it in? I thought my family was dysfunctional, but someone actively happy for you being mean to you is a stretch.

Not to mention, Flare DID become a guard in the end. Obviously she couldn't have liked Blacksmithing that much if that's where she ended up, and it seems to lend credence that she really hates her family. After all, her family believed she'd be happier as a guard than a smith, so she first rebels against them to become a smith, then changes her mind to be a guard, just so long as it's not where her family is. That's less "I wish I could live my life" and more "I resent my family for daring to provide guidance".

And I have a sibling, too, and trust me, when they want to rub it in, they're not smiles and happiness. No, I'm sorry, but Flare just strikes me as a petulant child.

You were really pushing Flare being happier as a blacksmith rather than a guard, not sure how I feel about the switch. It feels a bit forced to get this they all stayed together as a team ending, I don't remember there being a point before this chapter where it didn't seem like Flare would rather work with Iron Hoof.

This fic was epic, right up until the ending. Intriguing how you also incorporated an ulterior version of the events that lead to the creation of Nyx whilst placing in a completely new and original story, something that I completely wasn't expecting when I first came across this story. I hope we may see these three mares again in the future!

Just got around to reading this chapter, and while I won't say I'm not disappointed with how quickly it wrapped up, I am delighted at how it ended. That being said, a sequel would be wonderful if you ever get the urge. Excellent fic!:derpytongue2:

9622514 It wasn't so much the fact that she would have preferred working for Iron as much as it was irritation that she still ended up in the guard like her entire family. She wasn't sure if she would have preferred working with Iron because she never got the chance to find out, thanks to whatever stupidity her parents pulled in an effort to open a rift between the two friends. I suppose an argument can be made that Flare should have decided to return to Iron instead of remaining in the Twilight Guard, but she ended up at least coming to enjoy being in a different branch of the military from the entire rest of her family. She also made a friend in Derpy (and probably even Dust), which further encouraged her to stay. I think remaining in Twilight's Guard while still tinkering with being a blacksmith was the best outcome for her. It keeps both sides of her friends (and her family) happy.

9623647
Yeah, it's a grammatical equivalent of shoggoth. English isn't even my native language, but my brain stumbles.

9623863 Many people mix up 'it's' and 'its', because the typical pattern for possessives is to add an apostrophe before the 's' to a singular noun or name (apostrophe AFTER the 's' for plural nouns). BUT, this is different for pronouns when they become possessive pronouns (he = his, her = hers, me = mine, you = your), and 'its' follows this pattern, since 'it' is a pronoun.

Think of it with the same distinction, and the same common mix-ups, of related possessive vs conjunction homophone pair 'their/they're': (it's = it is) being the present tense singular and (they're = they are) being the present tense plural, with the verb 'to be'... which is a weird word in many languages, one of several that can have 12 differently spelled tenses or more. Another verb with lots of forms is 'to go'. For instance, in Spanish, the root for 'to go' is 'ir' and this becomes all manner of words with no common spelling such as 'voy' and 'fuiste'... and this crosses forms with the second word in Spanish for 'to be' which is 'ser', the other being 'ester').

I suspect it's because these are likely the most ancient verbs, among the most fundamental and important for use in conveying general information, and thus arose long before general grammatical conventions and rules arose for each language.

As a fan, I feel like the ending was rushed (but only because I wanted more), but I still can acknowledge that it wasn't a subpar ending - and quite fitting as well.

I really like this tiny little universe you crafted :D

9623789
Irritation feels too weak a way to describe the problems with her family, before this chapter the most we knew is that a very significant disagreement happened where she was pressured into joining the guard instead of something she really enjoyed and the only time we see Flare interact with them, Flare wanted Flash gone, she wanted nothing to do with him, just for him to leave. It was a pretty intense interaction and this outcome does nothing but weaken her character, assuming she's not just pressured by family again which is a much less pleasant way to look at this ending. I'm sure her friends would be understanding, happy even, if Flare was doing what she really wanted, not like she'd be gone forever.

9623944
Who are you and what have you done with Alondro?

9624438 I spent 13 hours straight sectioning methyl methacrylate-embedding mouse spines.

I went totally sane.

great story man, i really enjoyed it! :D
if you do end up deciding to do a sequel in the future i'll deff check it out.:moustache:

This was a joy to read. Thank you for writing such a great story~

What happened with Twilight and Flash in this AU? I want to believe It is not some Flash-hate without any certain reason.

9629047
I recall something similar where Twilight was investigating another dimension of a trackless white waste. I think the ending body count was two alicorns and a dragon. Maybe an owl as well.

9629047
Yeah that story was bloody creepy. its called The Corner of (Our) Eyes.

9620850
There could be a sequel for it or at least I want there to be one

9671247
Maybe, but do you really think The Grrrreat and Powerful TRRRIXIE! would allow anypony to even try to bound and gag her against her will?

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

That was fantastic! Love the subtle shipping - it really works!

something something Equestria Prevails.

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