Chapter 2: Orientation
“Wow, here I thought the Canterlot guards had it good,” said Flare as she looked around the room.
“How is this even fitting in the castle?” asked Lightning.
Derpy could only stare. Stretched out across the length of a ballroom was one of the most robust training areas she'd ever seen, looking like a combination between a gym and a barracks. In one area were weights, benches, kicking bags, and a variety of exercise machines. Other areas were dedicated to more guard-centric activities, with wooden dummies for spear practice, sparring rings, and racks with suits of training armor prepared.
“Dunno,” said Flare finally. “But it feels like a waste to not use it.”
“That's changing today,” said Tempest, walking out from behind the sparring ring with a heavy metal burden on her back. “We'll be doing morning exercises from this point forward.” Shifting slightly, Tempest let the bundle she carried fall to the floor with a loud clang.
Derpy was the first to ask the obvious. “What are those?”
Flicking a hoof at the tie, Tempest pushed the cloth aside. “Your new uniforms.”
Tightly bound in three separate sets were suits of armor. Fashioned after the standard royal guard attire that Celestia's security wore, the only noticeable difference appeared to be the dark royal purple color.
“From this day forward, any time you are on duty, you will wear this armor and keep it clean and presentable. When you are not wearing it, it will be somewhere within reach in case you need to grab it quickly.”
Flare was the first to approach, tugging at the bindings with her teeth, carefully examining each piece individually as she put it on. “This isn't going to turn us purple, is it?”
“Have a problem with purple, recruit?” asked Tempest pointedly.
“W-What? No, I was just wondering,” replied Flare hastily.
“There are no built in illusions on this armor,” said Tempest as she walked in front of the other two piles. “Princess Twilight thought that there were better enchantments instead of the standard guard glamour.”
Lightning frowned as she tested the weight of the hoof guards and took a few experimental flaps. “Do you not want us flying or something?”
“We want you protected,” said Tempest calmly, looking over Derpy and Flare's progress.
“If someone attacked me, I'd trust my wings before anything,” Lightning scoffed.
“Derpy, could you come here for a moment?” asked Tempest politely.
Adjusting her helmet, Derpy approached, a look of confusion on her face. Slowly, Tempest walked in a circle around her, examining the straps and plates along her body, stopping occasionally to tighten and adjust a couple. Finally, she nodded before promptly turning and kicking Derpy square on the neck.
Metal clashed against metal, the loud clang echoing through the chamber. Unprepared for the blow, Derpy was flung back and clattered to the ground. She rolled head over flank several times before she stopped.
“Commander?! What the bu-”
Tempest silenced Flare with a raised hoof. “Derpy, how do you feel?”
With a groan, the shaken pegasus slowly stood up, her eyes still spinning. “Um...fine…I think?” she squeaked.
“Excellent.” The surrounding light dimmed for a moment as Tempest's horn began to glow, the broken length gave off sparks as it built power. Nervously, Flare began to move back while Derpy's eyes widened, her body freezing up as she looked at the bright light.
A ball of unstable electricity was unleashed and sped towards Derpy. The magical, cackling bolt detonated with a blinding flash and a boom of thunder. In the closed space of the training room it left everypony’s ears ringing.
When the spots finally faded from their eyes, Derpy was on the ground, her forehooves clutched tightly over her head, body shaking with fear.
“Derpy, at attention!”
Tempest's shout cut through Derpy’s fear and the trembling ceased as she opened her eyes.
“On your hooves!”
The second shout spurred Derpy into action and stood her straight.
“Status report!”
“Um…?”
Tempest sighed. “Tell me how you feel.”
“Oh! Scared out of my wits!”
“Your physical status, please,” pressed Tempest.
Derpy’s head turned left and right, looking over her body. “...fine?”
“As you can see,” said Tempest, turning back to Lightning, “this armor is enchanted to protect its wearer from both physical and magical harm. Considering the threats Princess Twilight faces on a semi-regular basis, such protection is just as important as being able to fly and dodge.”
For once, Lightning didn't seem to have a reply, looking at the armor with a measure of respect.
Meanwhile, Flare had already finished putting the remaining pieces in place and eyed Tempest's horn warily. Derpy patted herself with her forehooves, still not entirely convinced she didn't have a bruise or lightning burn on her body.
“I'll be measuring your skills now,” said Tempest as she walked toward one of the training rings. “You're first, Lightning. Make sure that armor is secure.
---
Swift Shadow let out a steady breath and blinked the spots from his eyes. Despite Nexus having assured him that the cloak would keep him hidden from sight and muffle any sound he made, he was still very cautious. He was in the home of the two most magically gifted mares in Equestria, and often it seemed like the castle itself could sense his presence. Fortunately, for the time being, the cloak was working, and this was a perfect opportunity to assess their skills.
Moving slowly and deliberately toward the gym side of the training room, Swift watched the one called Lightning Dust square off against the commander. Almost immediately he could see the Wonderbolt influence in the way she fought, utilizing a great deal of flight in her approaches and attacking in complex patterns and at odd angles to try and put her opponent off balance.
In sharp contrast, Tempest was like a hunk of steel. She remained mostly stationary with eyes following Lightning closely and only expended the bare minimum of movement required to deflect Lightning’s attacks. For the first few minutes, Tempest let the rain of blows fall, evaluating Lightning much like Swift was doing. Then, she retaliated, poking holes in Lightning’s defenses and knocking her off balance. The spar finished with a hoof strike to Lightning’s stomach in mid-flight that sent her to the ground.
Flare Warden was more grounded in her approach to fighting and showed traces of the standard hoof-to-hoof combat of typical royal guards. Her wings were used sparingly, mostly to close distances and gain space between flurries of blows.
Just like before, Tempest stayed defensive, letting Flare attack, but it was quickly apparent the recruit was making even less progress than Lightning had in getting through. Flare clearly knew the forms and style well, but hadn't put it into practice very often, and just like with Lightning, Tempest eventually laid her out.
Now it was Derpy's turn and the ex-mailmare showed herself to be a complete novice. Her strikes were uncoordinated, she didn't really commit to the ground or air, and on one of her attacks, she outright stumbled and...landed a solid hit?
Tempest looked as surprised as Swift felt, but that didn't stop her retaliation, which missed by a mile as Derpy scrambled out of the way with a squeak.
What followed was both comical and fascinating as Tempest chased an increasingly frantic and apologetic Derpy around the arena. None of Tempest's attacks seemed able to connect. It wasn't until Lightning finally yelled, “Hit her back!” that Derpy paused, opening her up to a powerful buck that sent her flying into one of the kicking bags.
‘Curious...but not threatening’, Swift determined as he made a mental note.
Meanwhile, unnoticed by Swift Shadow, the bag had swung upwards just enough to rattle the weight rack. This in turn caused a loose bolt to shake free on the other end with the shelf beginning to tilt...
---
CRASH!
The loud sound had everypony startle in place as the weights rolled off the shelf and piled on the floor one after the other.
Flare rushed to the shelf and lifted the end to stop the clattering tumble. “Is everypony okay?” she asked then blinked. “Did somepony scream?”
“Good catch, recruit,” commented Tempest as she checked the other two for injuries. “You’ve had formal training?”
“From my family,” confirmed Flare.
“How long?”
“Since I was a foal. I've had training with the spear, too.”
Tempest helped Derpy up before turning to the rest. “I'm pleased to say that none of you are beyond hope.”
As one, Lightning and Flare let out a relieved sigh, while Derpy's face was positively beaming.
“Some of you are going to have to work very hard though. Out of every Princess in Equestria, Twilight Sparkle comes under threat the most. I was one of those threats, so think of me as the standard by which all of you are judged.”
The relief the trio had felt before evaporated at hearing that. Derpy's expression in particular was the most dramatic dropping from the wide grin to open mouthed despair.
Tempest paused, her head tilting slightly as she noticed Derpy's complete lack of anything even remotely resembling a poker face. “That's why, starting tomorrow, each of you will have a personalized training regimine. Follow it closely, work hard, and I'm confident all of you will measure up...eventually.”
While Flare and Lightning seemed rather neutral toward the 'praise', Derpy's delight was clear. At least until the next part. “Now pick up this mess and meet me outside."
---
“How in the name of Celestia did we miss this yesterday?” asked Flare aloud, eyes wide as she looked over the myriad of elemental magic on display in front of her.
“Because it was built this morning,” said Tempest. “This obstacle course is going to be the next part of your training. Princess Twilight herself designed it.”
“Seriously? That's an obstacle course?” cried Lightning. “That looks more like a torture chamber!”
“Any more lip from you and you're going in head first,” said Tempest sharply. “You have that shiny armor on your flank for a reason. Secure it, and plant your hooves on the starting line.”
The 'obstacle course' was behind Twilight's castle and a good distance away from Ponyville. It was easy to see why as magic was seeped into every segment. First was a magically shifting rock wall that led into a series of clouds dancing with bolts of electricity. Beyond that was a series of laser emitting prisms in front of a drop onto uneven terrain that quaked and shifted like the earlier rock wall.
“While you are on this course, there will be no flying allowed,” said Tempest as she directed them to the start. “Each of you are going to complete four laps. If you fail in this task, you can be sure I'll have something in store for you.
Cautiously, Derpy raised a hoof into the air.
“Because a royal guard needs to train every part of their body,” answered Tempest without so much as a glance in her direction. “I see flying, and it's another lap for all of you. Now move!”
Flare and Lightning immediately galloped off. Belatedly, Derpy chased after them and nearly stumbled as the weight of the armor made itself known. As she began to scale the rope, the rock wall rumbled ominously beneath her hind legs. Suddenly, stones began to jut outward from the top, moving in a rippling wave towards her. With a squeak, Derpy braced herself and clung tightly to the rope, her hind legs flailing as she was bucked away from the wall momentarily before clattering against it.
Breathing heavily, Derpy opened her eyes. She'd managed to hold on. And the top was only-
“You're never going to reach the top if you don't start climbing,” said Tempest suddenly.
Blinking rapidly, Derpy looked Tempest in the eye before looking down. The ground was only a foot away.
“Right! Thank you commander!” said Derpy, taking a deep breath as she faced the wall with renewed determination-
-only to be knocked from the wall and sent back to the ground.
Clattering and groaning a bit, Derpy rolled back to her hooves. “I'm okay! I can do this!” she declared, not even hesitating to run at the wall again.
“As long as you keep at it,” agreed Tempest before moving on to observe the others.
Unsurprisingly, Lightning had already cleared the cloud-hopping portion, though Flare wasn't far behind. Soon, both pegasi stood in front of the prisms, eyeing them warily as the beams of light swept about.
Lightning took the lead and darted forward, performing a lively dance as she weaved between the beams, only to trip one halfway through.
Suddenly, a cloud of telekinetic energy enveloped Lightning, and before she could even try to break the field, she was flung back to the entrance of the prism lane, landing hard on the clouds. “What the buck?”
“The princess really outdid herself with that one,” commented Tempest from below.
It was also the most difficult obstacle on the course, as Flare and Lightning quickly found out. While the beams of light were slow, they were numerous and seemed to rotate on a whim.
After the fourth time of getting thrown back, Lightning's wings twitched with irritation, giving away how much she wished to use them. “This is impossible!”
“Hold on, I see a pattern here,” said Flare, putting a wing up and pointing to the nearest prism. “That one is constant, the one behind it is shifting forty-five degrees every five seconds, and the one behind that is always moving opposite of the second.
“Great, so how does that help?” snapped Lightning.
“I'm thinking! Something you should try to do more of!”
“Look out!”
Neither pegasi batted an eye when Derpy tumbled into the cloud bank next to them. Her mane and tail were both frazzled and a small scorch adorned her armor. “Nnhh...that cloud section was tough. Thanks for waiting up!” said Derpy cheerfully.
“We weren't-” began Lightning, only to sigh and shake her head. “Actually, yeah. We could use your help. How would you get past this?” she asked, wagging a hoof at the laser field.
Derpy put a hoof to her chin and tilted her head. “Um...have you tried running through it? Like...really fast?”
Lightning's eye twitched. “Of course we bucking-”
“Maybe you could show us what you mean,” interrupted Flare with a jab to Lightning’s flank.
“Okay, here goes!”
Taking a breath, Derpy stepped up to the edge of the safe area and took off, setting a brisk pace toward the first prism, heading to the intersection point, only to stumble as the rotation changed and swept several beams right over her head. Scrambling to her hooves, Derpy pulled forward... and promptly tripped to a halt when the prisms shifted a second time. Orienting herself, Derpy turned to the exit, just in time to dodge again and she trotted, now moving at the perfect pace to stay in between the lasers before landing safely on the opposite side of the obstacle.
Slowly, Derpy turned back to Lightning and Flare, looking a bit embarrassed as the two of them stared back at her. “Um...something like that?”
Lightning turned back to Flare, her eyes narrowed. “Alright, tell me this stupid pattern again.”
---
Swift Shadow tried his best not to grimace as he stayed hidden in the treeline surrounding the obstacle course. The cloak should have allowed him to get closer, but after the last incident, he was content with keeping his distance and using a pair of binoculars.
As far as he had been able to assess, all Twilight's guards were performing as expected, save for Derpy, whom he was finding increasingly difficult to place. Overall she seemed incompetent, and yet she had almost effortlessly made it through the most difficult hurdle in the obstacle course.
“Are you acting, or are you really that lucky?” he murmured as he observed her start the second lap, once again struggling to climb the rope and bouncing against the shifting wall. If it was acting, then the stage had missed a truly amazing talent.
For the second time, Derpy stumbled on the clouds, kicking one off course as she awkwardly jumped to the next.
“What does a bubble cutie mark mean, anyways?” he mused. Turning back to his notes, Swift began to write further observations, oblivious to the gentle breeze that had picked up and blew an errant cloud toward his position.
---
“Wait, no, come back!” Scrambling on her cloud, Derpy tried to catch the floating nimbus as it breached the containment shield and flew towards the forest.
“Focus on your lap,” called out Tempest from below as she followed after the cloud. “This course is away from Ponyville for a reason. None of the clouds should trigger outside-”
KA-BOOM!
Tempest slowed as she observed the blackened brush. “Odd, that shouldn't have happened.”
“Okay, I know I heard somepony scream that time,” insisted Flare as she searched for the source of the noise.
“Focus on your laps,” repeated Tempest. “I'm going to start running the course in two minutes, and you don't want to know what happens if I lap you.”
With a gulp, Flare continued forward while Derpy scrambled back to her hooves and immediately missed her next jump.
---
“I'm done for...I'm sorry everypony,” moaned Derpy, her head on the table and her hooves to either side.
“That's not a unicorn,” growled Lightning as she poked at her food. “That's an Earth Pony someone accidentally gave a horn to.”
“Or a modest alicorn,” grumbled Flare. “And I'm pretty sure that armor she wears is twice as heavy as ours.”
Resisting the urge to simply plant her face in her food and graze, Derpy pushed herself up to a sitting position and picked at her tray. “At least we actually found the cafeteria in less than ten minutes this time.”
“Yeah, 'at least',” groused Lightning. “I swear this stupid castle just hates us.”
“Maybe you should stop insulting it?” Derpy suggested helpfully.
“Why? It's not like it can hear us.”
“But...it's a magic-”
“I know it's a magic castle!” snapped Lightning. Silence blanketed the lunchroom at her shout and Derpy meekly turned her head back to her food.
Muttering a curse under her breath, Lightning spoke again, in a kinder tone. “Sorry...you might have a point.”
As if the past ten seconds hadn't even happened, Derpy beamed at Lightning. “Do you think the castle has a name?”
“Twilight's Castle,” said Flare simply.
“That’s not really a name,” mused Derpy.
“Well...no, but would the castle have a problem with that?” asked Flare with some uncertainty. She glanced sidelong at Lightning.
Lightning snorted. “Don't look at me. I don't speak Magic Castle.”
“Is there a course for that?” asked Derpy curiously.
“Maybe you should try asking Twilight,” suggested Flare. “Who knows? The castle might already have a name.”
“Maybe Twilight could also ask the castle to stop being such a pain,” muttered Lightning, eyeing the pile of yarn in the corner of the mess hall.
“For somepony who went through Wonderbolt training you sure do complain a lot,” observed Flare.
“Wonderbolt training was straightforward. This magic crap gives me a headache.”
“So why did you leave then?”
“They were too slow for me,” said Lightning simply, ignoring Flare's incredulous look. “What about you? I bet the palace in Canterlot isn't this difficult to navigate.”
“Yeah, but then I'd have to work with my brother. And he'd outrank me.”
“You two don’t get along?”
“No…it’s not that…it’s just…embarrassing to have to work underneath family. Besides, Canterlot is dull. I mean, sure, the invasions make it seem exciting, but most times it's standing around, giving ponies directions, and making sure no one wanders where they're not supposed to.”
“And you think Ponyville is going to be more interesting?” asked Lightning skeptically.
“Ponyville is super interesting!” Derpy cut in with pride in her voice. “We get a monster almost every Sunday! Sometimes Tuesdays, too.”
Lightning stared. “What? Really? Why did you want to be a guard here then?”
“Because I wanted to help,” said Derpy without hesitation.
“Seriously?” asked Lightning. “I just thought the pay at the post office was bad.”
“Well it wasn't great,” agreed Derpy. “But really, I just wanted to be helpful to Twilight. The Everfree Forest was a real problem before she drew up wards and organized her friends to fight the threats. All our houses were always getting smashed, and everypony was always worrying over the next thing to come and attack us. Now it's pretty rare that anything even clears the treeline before the whole town is on alert. And that's just one thing. She's done so much for Ponyville that I just want to help her however I can.”
“Well damn, no wonder you got hired,” said Lightning with a chuckle. “Using a line like that is almost cheating.”
“Especially with that level of sincerity,” agreed Flare.
Derpy blinked. “I don't get it. What did I say?”
Lightning squinted at her briefly before simply shaking her head. “Unbelievable. An honest pony.”
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”
“Don't apologize, Derpy,” said Flare pointedly. “The world could use more ponies like you. Celestia knows we have far too many like her,” she said with a pointed look towards Lightning.
Lightning's eyes narrowed again. “Like me?”
“Angry, confrontational, chip on your shoulder. It's really not that difficult to tell why you didn't get on with the Wonderbolts.”
“You've known me for what...two days now?” accused Lightning, “And you think you have me figured out? Amazing! Didn’t know they taught recruits psychology over in Canterlot.”
“Did you?” said Derpy suddenly, interrupting the brewing argument. “...umm...can you do one of those psycho-things on me? The Ponyville doctor always runs when I try to approach him, and the other one is really hard to find.”
Silence lingered at her statement. Flare finally broke it. “Seems a bit unprofessional. What happened?”
“Well, it's a funny story...at least I've been told it was funny. You see-”
Before she could start with the tale, Derpy’s eyes went wide and she stumbled off the bench and snapped off a salute. Flare and Lightning quickly caught on and turned to salute Tempest and Twilight as they came in through the lunchroom doors behind them.
“At ease, everypony,” said Twilight quickly.
With a relieved sigh, Derpy flopped back into her seat and put her head down on the table.
“Maybe not quite that eased,” chided Tempest.
Derpy lifted her head, confusion clear on her face as she tried to work out the proper middle ground between attention and easement.
“We'll work on it,” assured Tempest. “Princess Twilight and I have finished building your morning routines. For the first two hours of the day, you are to use the facilities in the gym as outlined. After that, you will join me for combat training. When lunch has passed, you will be taught the finer points of what makes a good royal guard, concluded by a final two hours of tactics and wargames.”
As Tempest spoke, Twilight took a walk around the table, pausing briefly in front of each of her new guards, horn glowing slightly. At the end, she returned to Tempest's side. “Looks like the armor is performing to expectation.”
A flash of a smile appeared on Tempest's face. “Excellent. Be certain you're wearing it at all times when you're on duty in this castle,” she reminded them.
“So,” Twilight cut in, “How did your first day of training go? Are you finding everything in the castle alright?”
---
Swift Shadow held his breath as he observed the conversation take an odd turn when Derpy asked Twilight what the castle was called. He was barely paying attention to the words though, focusing solely on the gray pegasus. She was hiding something, of that he was certain. She'd attacked his hiding places twice now, and no matter where he moved in the mess hall, that lazy eye drifted to follow him.
The cloak spell was working though. Twilight and Tempest hadn't taken notice and neither had the guards. Maybe he was just being paranoid. If Derpy really did know where he was, there was no reason for her not to tell Twilight after all.
Slowly, Swift moved to the center of the cafeteria, watching as the three mares finished their meals and left the room, with Flare taking a quick detour to gather up the yarn balls in the corner.
“This is getting obnoxious,” said Lightning.
“We're getting better though,” insisted Derpy. “It only took us two balls to find the mess hall, right?”
“Progress of a sort,” agreed Flare. “Just keep a lookout like last time.”
With a confident smile, Derpy saluted, the tip of her wing just barely brushing the top-most ball of yarn and knocking it free from the stack.
Swift's eyes widened as the ball of yarn rolled ominously towards his position. Stifling a frightened whinny, he bolted away from his position, darting as fast as his cloak would allow to the opposite wall.
For several moments after the guards had left, Swift stayed entirely still, only breathing a sigh of relief when all the motion in the room stopped and the voices of the guards were no longer audible through the door behind him.
Swift chuckled nervously to himself. “Relax, it's just a ball of-”
SLAM!
---
“Oops, I forgot my helmet,” called Derpy over her shoulder, frowning slightly as the lunchroom door stopped halfway and stuck. Closing it, Derpy tried to push it open again, only for it to stop a halfway a second time.
“Celestia dammit, that was somepony groaning!” exclaimed Flare flying back while still carefully balancing her load.
“That's odd...the door wasn't stuck when we came in,” said Derpy, trying the door a few more times without success. On the sixth attempt, a sudden popping sound was heard on the other side, followed by a bright flash.
“Maybe the castle doesn't want me to go this way?” Derpy theorized.
Curiously, Lightning nudged past her and peeked through to the other side. “Or some pony is blocking it,” she said, pushing the rest of the way through. A moment later the door opened completely, revealing Lightning standing over the body of a cloaked pony. “So who is this guy?”
“Don't know, but that's definitely a cloak of shadows he's wearing,” said Flare with a frown. “Good work apprehending him, Derpy.”
“Huh? But I didn't do anything. I hope I didn't hurt him too bad.”
“I'm going to find Tempest,” declared Flare. “Derpy, if he wakes up, hit him with the door again.”
“It was an accident!” insisted Derpy, but Flare was already flying away. Left alone with Lightning, Derpy looked a bit lost before suddenly remembering. “Should we restrain him?”
“With what?” asked Lightning.
“Um...this?” asked Derpy, holding up one of the discarded balls of yarn.
Lightning sighed. “Fine. Hold his forelegs together.”
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this is amazing!
"Those are what, soldier?"
"Hoofcuffs, Ma'am."
"And just what are they made out of?"
"Yarn, Ma'am."
Nice job. Derpy.
I don't know if it's going to be canon or not, but I love the idea that a rumor spreads about how one of Twilight's guards has a magic eye which is able to track things that are even invisible to normal sight, and who is able to strike an opponent unexpectedly.
Neither, really. She's just Derpy.
Actually, on that note, if I were to take a guess, I think Derpy's the one Tempest has her eye on the most, currently. She may be completely inexperienced for the field and totally lacking any of the past training the other two have, and yet she's almost consistently managed to successfully do something the others couldn't in some manner, and she's the one most likely to keep the peace between the more headstrong Lightning and Flare.
Plus, she has a heart of gold. That's gotta count for something.
'tis a fact, a trainer will wear more armor to spar with a novice than they will with a journeyman. This is because they have no idea what the novice will think to do, whereas the journeyman is predictable.
9538933
Speaking as a 90s kid who was very interested in the then-developing field of CGI at the time, I have to say you're overestimating the quality of CGI in that era a bit. If it wasn't Pixar doing it (who in of themselves were still just getting started, but were always in a bit of a league of their own and not really a fair overall comparison I've found), then it was all pretty subpar (by today's standards at least) until about the tail end of that decade, even more so if it was a mixed media work that only used CGI in select instances and not entirely, much like the MLP film. MLP film's use of CGI is, from a technical standpoint, better than what was the standard during most of the 90s.
Not to say that said CGI in said MLP film couldn't have been better, because it could've. I, too, was largely meh about the MLP film.
Part of the CGI's problem in that film was less the quality of the CGI per se, I think, and more the style it was implemented in--they were clearly trying to make it blend in with the rest of the film's more conventional 2D animation, to give it the visual appearance as if it was all the same medium of animation when it wasn't...but they didn't quite succeed. They probably would've been better off going the extra mile to 2D animate all of it instead.
But I will say that at least the traditional 2D animation was top notch. It's been a good long while since I'd seen traditional animation like that of such good quality in a feature film.
Pity that's really the only thing about the film I can get that excited about, then. 
Just a friendly reminder that no force in the universe is more powerful than dumb luck.
9527540
I was wondering if Tempest recognized her. Would be nice to see Twilight or Tempest mention it, if for no other reason then the reactions of Lighting and Flare.
Or the three of them coming across a window showing the scene of Derpy taking the hit for Twilight.
Most have heard of Drunken style kung fu. But all who oppose Princess Twilight fear facing her guard, the master of Muffin Fu.
"andsped" is missing a space. "prisms prisms" is a duplication. "sweeped about" should be "swept about".
Derpy's just too cute, fluffy and innocent for my poor heart
I’ve got it! Derpy is a Smedry!
Given that mark, Harmony help them all of she ever gets drunk.
Discord must be so happy!
Aw... I was kind of hoping the stealthy guy would survive a bit longer and eventually either develop a chronic fear of Derpy and/or muffins... Or that he would end up seeing her as his personal rival and end up having an awesome 1v1 fight against her at the finale where he uses Derpy-like technicues to avoid her accidental attacks xD
Please keep this guy around? :3
Derpy is an oblivious subvariant of the Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass trope.
Trope Talk: Crouching Moron Hidden Badass
9539490
My mistake. Somehow an older version of the chapter got posted here instead of the final one. That's been fixed now. Thank you for pointing out the mistakes.
Yes! The ominous villain in the shadows is dealt with right out of the bat! That's such a nice change of pace from the usual "*Spooky haunted noises* looOOOoook, there is scary puppet master in he shadows, I wonder who he is, even though it is either painfully obvious or completely out of left field with no foreshadowing whatsoever, *more spooky noises*". Man, am I the only one who thinks that the villain that just keeps observing things from the shadows and acts all like "Lackey, go and get rid of her, zevil laghter*" to be a bore now days?
9539904
Makes me wonder if she's scarier when she's drunk.
9539410
The nature of combat styles. You train for thousands of hours across a limited number of movements meant to be used at certain times in response to specific movements. In essence, the more skilled and trained you are, the more you master that craft, the quicker you can be deconstructed by someone with the talent and the experience.
Where a half-baked newbie flailing about can rely on literal spaz-attacks and hit something they shouldn't otherwise have been able to. The more trained you are in dealing with trained opponents, the more confusing and unpredictable those without training become.
I was hoping they would catch him.
9540080
I think there's a saying about white belts in martial arts, that goes something like this: "White belts are the most dangerous ones, because no one knows how they'll hit you."
9539422
The biggest problem with most CGI in the 90s was they could not accurately reproduce animation techniques or tricks that were essential to tricking the human eye. Elements such as stretch and squash when using a wire frame model would often appear as stiff. Additionally, persistance of vision allowed most people watching CGI to see through the interperative tricks of animation and this made it seem unreal.
CGI generally worked when applied to a solid object that had to be animated without any kind of character style motion. Vehicles, chandalier, etc did not have to have "living qualities" that demanded they stretch and squash. The first successful application of stretch and squash I remember was in Luxo Jr. The lamp remained rigid while the ball stretched and squashed as needed to convey flexibility.
Much of the success of CGI animation development must be credited to Pixar as they were exclusively working on the idea of computer animation years before anyone else. One of the main reasons they chose Toy Story as their first animated feature was that most of the characters were fairly rigid dolls or other similar toys that required only a minimum of stretch and squash. Naturally, with their first sucess and subsequent association with Disney they made breakthroughs that everyone else copied. As computer animation advanced, stretch, squash and other elements became easier to convey. You can see the progress if you compare Luxo Jr. and Paperman back to back.
9540301
One I heard was about the two kinds of Swordsmen you have to fear. One is the genius, the other is the idiot. The genius its is to understand why you fear them. But the idiot you must fear because you never know what the idiot will do next.
Of course we must also understand in settings where fate is an active participant the unwarry, unskilled and unaware at it's favor agents.
Last thought remember in the movie Who Framed Rodger Rabbit, Rodger's ability to easily escape hand cuffs was conditional on when it would be funniest. I think Derpy's ability to defeat opponents works similarly, she's most dangerous when losing to her would produce maximum humiliation. I can imagine Swift Shadow will be utterly humiliate he got knocked out by an opening door bashing him in the face when he wakes up.
Fortune favors the foolish and the bold, and Derpy is at least one of those.
The question is whether training will actually dull this edge by replacing it with conventional competence or if it will make Best Pony one of the most terrifying mares in Equestria.
As for that poor, poor spy... Yeah, today was just not his day.
9539389
And that's how Derpy became Mad-Eye Moody.
This is top-notch stuff
oops i seem to have faved this right at this moment how did that happen
9539904
The video had no mention of such a subvariant. It would also mean she was somehow doing it on purpose.
It took some searching, but a more fitting trope for what happens is The Fool. The description even fits quite well: a character with an optimistic disposition that seemingly through pure luck, happens to protect themselves and defeat a threat, often without even realizing it.
9541276
Could be the kultz also.
[url=https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheKlutz
9540739
Maybe she will become the lethal klutz.
9539347
honestly think tempest would give them points for practicality.
Loving it so far! Though seeing you post something again really makes me want the sequel to Ill Winds........ I need my Chrysalis x Twilight x Rainbow action!
And yet, in the show itself, we are about to see that the ponies have STILL learned exactly nothing about preparation and defense.
It's why I'd rather it had just stuck to episodic stories after Season 7.
Derpy is well on her way to becoming Pony Inspector Clouseau.
Ah rich. So rich.
Derpy has the talent of the law of causality or something -- coincidental until it's not
Ah dumb questions and even better answers
That fool knew not who he was trifling with. The Derpy cannot be eluded. She cannot be stopped. She cannot be bested.
The idea of her eye just following you is strangely creepy.
9621914
I don't remember the title exactly but there's a story called "In the Corner of her Eye" (or the corner of their eye? I can't remember). It's a horror thriller story about these dark creatures that try to kill you if you see them that only Derpy has seen with her wandering eye and lived to tell the tale. There's some line about how if she's ever looking straight at you with both eyes don't look behind you cause it's right there.
9629047
Searched, got a bit lucky, found it:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/164668/the-corner-of-our-eyes