• Member Since 4th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 24th, 2014

M1ghtypen


E
Source

Lightning Dust has seen better days. She’s on the verge of becoming a full-blown alcoholic, and her career is in shambles. She’s gotten so desperate that she even found a support group to help her work through her problems, but the first meeting turns out to be nothing like what she expected. This isn’t the gathering of former antagonists that she was looking for. In fact, some of these creatures shouldn’t even exist!

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 116 )

Has some potential, so you get a thumbs up for that, and it's always nice to see the characters that everybody hates getting a bit of love now and again. Almost makes me want to go back to my old abandoned stories and continue them.

That said, you need to proceed with caution. A good premise does not, automatically, equate to a good story; just be careful about what you write and how you write it and it should work out decently.

Awesome, a good best pony story :rainbowkiss: pls update soon

Cute idea, I like it.
I totally agree with those who don't consider Derpy an OC. She has an official toy for crying out loud!
Let's see who I spotted (only those who didn't give a name): Nyx, Sweetie Bot, Hot-Blooded Pinkie and Surprise. Hm, not much.
I'm not sure about the Pinkies in red and black jumpsuits, though. This is SFW, is it?

Sniff..:fluttercry:

Damn authors abandoning their characters. Still Lightning Dust is an interesting choice. Let's see where this goes.

Why does this feel so similar to Bad-Anon from Wreck-it-Wralph? Maybe it's just me...

However, there is ONE thing that you have done, for which you'll pay

You made me bust a gut when I learned that their leader was DERPY, of all ponies. How did I not see it coming? I just don't know what went wrong... :derpytongue2:


Have a moustachemustache :moustache:


2441442

I thought those were the Deadpool-Pinkies?

2441517
It was sort of the idea that the author came up with in their first story as well, which had shades of that meeting as the notes in that particular story mentioned.

Also, glad to see this happening. Heh, poor Dust got into the wrong group, but yes, this group is pretty interesting in itself.

Ok, nice idea you've got there. Can't wait to see how this turns out!

2441393>>2441517 Very nice! You got Deadpool Pinkie ("Pinkiepool"), and one of you even got Hot Blooded Pinkie! yes, these are all "safe for work". I don't feel terribly comfortable with the kind of content that wouldn't be, so it isn't in my work.

The other jumpsuit belongs to another Pinkie crossover character. Here, let me give you a hint.

One little thing that bothered me throughout the story; lightening is a verb that means making something lighter. Lightning is the flashy stuff that electrocutes things. Also, Dust became Dist at one point.

Otherwise, I liked it. Good work!

2443477 Um, no! No, she's secretly an OC and she doesn't know it! Her name was...uh...*sigh*

Really though, thanks for pointing that out. That's sort of embarrassing.

I'm not gonna read this, but you get a like for the Kanye reference in your chapter name. :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

I wish that you could somehow drag this out into one of those twelve chapter stories.
And//or take requests for OC ponies creatures.
:derpytongue2:

Very very interesting. I echo some other statements- tread carefully. I think this has the right amount of craziness and logic to it. A few points had me wondering if I should read on, but then it pulled things back in.

Faving and thumbs up ^_^

This... is one of the best things I've ever read. And you practically knocked Dust down to OC status while doing it.

I cried a little.

Please write more...?

I... hrm. I almost want to beg for this not to be a one-shot. But at the same time, if that's what you had planned, I don't think an abrupt change of plans would be helpful-- some of the biggest disappointments I've had on this site were stories that were intended as one-shots but then extended by popular demand without any real plans for where the extension should go.

So I guess I want you to write what you think is right. Which you were probably going to do anyway, so this comment is somewhat pointless.

...Carry on.

I loved the reference to LittlePip!

Very nice, liked the wreak it Ralph refernce.:twilightsmile:

The oath at the end kinda reminded me of Wreck it Ralph.

Kill me now before I die of mixed feels. This story is touching and amazing at the same time.

Interesting concept and well written dialogue that was a saving grace. Your narrative tone needs work, the dry tone you use is good with comedy, but this story doesn't really cut it as comedy, it being amusing rather than funny. The narrative voice just ends up feeling 'telly' because of this. I'd recommend some practice with this style and maybe avoiding it in stories like this. It's more suited to either absurdest stories, taking up the voice of the main character who's 'the straight guy' juxtaposing the absurdity, or as a sarcastic voice making light of a somewhat ridiculous story taken itself seriously. Neither of these descriptions fitting the story. Get some practice, but otherwise, good work.

Favorited, oh, and her name is spelled "Lightning", not "Lightening". There's no "E".

This is only in the description, though.

Civilized diamond dogs? I'll take that reference, thank you very much.

Lightning dust having a gaudy colour scheme is probably meant to represent her being at conflict between wanting to stroke her ego and wanting to realize her dreams. That, or she's just supposed to not be as good looking as our pretty prancing pony protagonist parade. :pinkiehappy::yay::twilightsmile::raritywink::ajsmug::rainbowwild::trollestia::moustache:

I love Sweetie Bot
"Cutie Mark Aquisition Program?" :unsuresweetie:

this was awesome! hopefully, the next chapter will be 20% cooler (gotta make a reference to show how much you love the show xD):scootangel:

I like it, can't wait to see who else is stuck there :pinkiehappy:

I loved this. I genuinely loved this. I didn't see much wrong with this, but I think there was a misplaced 'd' in the first three paragraphs or so.

Hmm I wonder when all of these other oc's will pop up. You know, Slendermane,Jeff the killer,The Rake, Equin Dewitt, Elizabeth, The living tombstone,Micthemicrophonezero, Wooden toaster, and so on.

Trixie should appear and tell her story of success, how she passed from 1 chapter wonder, to her own spinoff :trixieshiftright:
Also Octavia, appears once for 5 seconds, and has her own Octaverse fan series. :twilightblush:

There is nopony I’d rather be than me.”

"I'm bad, but that's good.
I Will never be good, but that's not bad.
there is no one that I would rather be than me..."

also, you know what could work really as a extension is just having it as a load of slice of life. you could also have different chapters focusing on each OC. there doesn't have to be a over arching plot, but it would be cool if lightning eventually reapplied for the wonderbolts...
by having it as a series of one shot's, you can have it as almost like a frame work, with people being able to read any chapter they want...
just a idea.

Not bad. I found myself liking the mechanism of OCs being in Equestria without really knowing how they're made, and the ragtag little cast you've got for Lightning Dust to meet seem fun and interesting.

“This’ll be so much fun!” Hot Blooded exclaimed. He somehow managed to drag both of his friends down the street despite only having two hooves on the ground. “I’m gonna drink until I can’t remember how pants work!”

Gypsy Pie giggled. “You don’t wear pants, silly!”

“No, but I could if I wanted to. That’s going to change.”

Way to end on a high note. :rainbowlaugh:

Pretty interesting. Serious and kinda somber approach of forgotten and created for lulz OC's. Glad to see them getting some love. You should add Thrackerzod, btw :pinkiehappy:

Also, if Trollestia is here, what about Molestia, and did she molest anybody or restrained somehow?

“I am not a nopony.
It doesn’t matter how ridiculous I look,
Or how convoluted my past might be.
I am not a mistake.
I am worthy of my own respect.
There is nopony I’d rather be than me.”

I teared up a little. Awww~ Hugs for OC's

I think I might enjoy this. It is always interesting to track all the different story lines and characters authors come up with. And that's how I lost sight of wall #6. Chalk and Post-its.

can other people's OCs be in this story?

2443133
Wow... A Freakazoid crossover. I never even SAW the show, but I still know about it. THANK YOU YOUTUBE.

I can see people abandoning their OCs like it's a regular thing, but for some reason I always get a bit attached to them and see so that their story is finished, even though it's just in my head. (I'm a terrible writer...) Because you know, everypony deserves a chance:scootangel:
Yeah, i'm a bit immature in some sense:twilightsheepish:

2446084
And Gordon Freemane! Slendermane and Gordon Freemane are a must, even if they are background ponies. They must be referenced...
Oh, and throw some Whooves in there too!

Geez, I recognized way too many of these. Are they all borrowed, or are some of them yours that you threw in to flesh it out?

Metafiction comedy and well done to boot, you more have earned this :moustache:

2448436
Hey! Smartassery is MY job!
I am General Sarcasm! Show some respect Major Mockery!

2448479 Whoa watch out we got ourself a smart ass over here.

2448500
If sarcasm were nickels, I would be choking. That is how much of it is dripping from my tongue...

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!