• Member Since 21st Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

SilverStar7


I'm a go playing brony who reads and writes fan fiction works. That's about all you need to know.

E

Sunburst and Coco are each bound for an event in Ponyville. However, when they learn that the train has broken down, the pair of ponies are stuck in Canterlot for the evening. It seems to be a stroke of bad luck but, with a little help, the two find a way to make the most of it.


πŸ₯‡ 1st Place in the Original Pairings group's May Pairing Contest


Featured on May 28th, 2019

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 23 )

This is a wonderful story! I can see these two clicking. They are both shy, kind ponies that would complement each other. The touch with Sunburst translating the play was genius. It brings them together in a way that fits both of their personalities.

Thank you for sharing this with us. It was a real treat.

Why didn't she eat the flowers?:rainbowhuh:

This story is great, the pacing is fast enough that I don't get bored reading the story, yet slow enough that I can realistically see this happening. The way that you incorporated fancy pants was genius, not outright telling us but letting us imply it. This story is great.

I hope you write more of this!

Yes, they make a cute couple.

Slices of Life like this involving minor characters can be a rarity.

Dan

I always said he and Moondancer are meant for eachother, but Coco is a cute idea too. Actually, any mare but Starlight.

Has anyone written him paired with Sassy Saddles yet? A fic of her trying to give him a makeover would be amusing.

9647964
I can get behind that sentiment. It's kind of the same reason I generally don't ship Rainbow Dash with anyone; she's hyperfocused on her flying career and isn't interested in a romantic partner. Starlight is hyperfocused on being the best guidance counselor and magician she possibly can be. Maybe one day, her priorities will change, but not soon.

Also...

Can you imagine every part of Rarity's plan going wrong? Once they learned that they had the last hotel room. Sunburst could have stayed at the castle, or maybe retuned to Ponyville by chariot or airship.

9646929
Not gonna lie, I was pretty pleased when I came up with that idea. The moment I thought of it, I immediately ran with it.

9647011
Not gonna lie, I thought of Sweetie Bell saying that every time I got to that part during editing.

9647441
Not gonna lie, those were the things I worked hardest on in this story - trying to balance quick pacing to avoid losing readers with making the romance feel "earned" rather than just "given," if that makes any sense. And I'm glad I was able to fight the urge to have Fancy Pants introduce himself; I wanted to leave it to the reader.

9647475
Not gonna lie, I'm only starting this comment that way to make them all match. I'll see what I can come up with. I suck at sequels (never finished even one) but if something comes to me, I wouldn't mind giving it a go.

I really enjoyed this story, these two would probably be great together :pinkiehappy:
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/184/311/33c.gif
Any chance there will be a sequel to this? :raritywink:

This was sweet, wouldn't mind seeing more.

I've never seen these two shipped before, but I really like it. A beautiful story.

This really cheered me up.

9649687 9650274
No promises, but I'll look into it. If I come up with an idea, I wouldn't be opposed to it.

9650386
When I was considering entering the May Pairing Contest, I used the search function with a few minor character combinations. When I saw that there had never been a story featuring Coco and Sunburst, I jumped at the opportunity; I was truly surprised no on had done it before.

I'm glad this story could cheer you up.

Great story though personally I think it should have been both Cadance and Rarity working together.

9677732
That's freaky. I kid you not, that was how the story originally was.

In my notes for this story from before I wrote it, I have this: The pair arrive at the train station again, ready to go to Ponyville, but realize that they have seats in different cars. They say temporary goodbyes, commenting on how they enjoyed getting to know each other. When there is a long pause, suddenly Rarity shouts "Oh, just kiss him already!" from behind a potted plant. She and Cadence had arranged the whole thing to get the two together. The two tell the conspirators off, but not without letting some of their feelings slip.

I rejected the idea because it seemed to over-complicate the final scene to have both of them, and I felt it messed with the story's pacing. (I also changed the way that the two admit their feelings to each other, because I felt it was a strong character moment for the two of them to say it directly, albeit in Olde Ponish.)

That said, I certainly don't disagree with the idea of the two of them conspiring together and if I do write a sequel I will likely be including that in there.

I wasn't initially aware that this was an entry in a writing competition, and don't remember how I even came upon this story, but I am very glad that I did. This was certainly a unique pairing and I don't think I've ever seen it done before, but I could be wrong. I loved the natural flow of this story and the bits of humor thrown in. I thought it was a clever idea to put Sunburst's ability to understand and speak Olde Ponish to this non-magic-related, practical use.

I definitely wouldn't mind seeing more from these two in the future, but only if that is something you have in mind or get an idea about. I will say one final thing though: this made me ship Coco x Sunburst and I'm actually starting to like that pairing better than Starburst. Congratulations on the first place win! It was well-deserved, for sure. πŸ‘

9677807
if you do have cadence involved in a potential imagine if she then gets flash sentry involved to be a literal cupid. just an idea i have of sunburst and flash being well acquainted since both are significant figures working under shining armor and cadence. especially since both were canterlot pony's who through different means (sunburst moving and flash being transferred) ended up in the crystal empire with royal jobs. and you can compound this if cadence nominates flash being a pony in her personal traveling guard to be a bodyguard for flurryheart and by extension her guardian sunburst. imagine an episode in the crystal empire with just the three of them seeing the day to day life of the crystal empire where while sunburst try's to teach flurry how to use magic more practically and other unicorn etiquette flash also teaches flurry how to fly better and Pegasus etiquette.

9685275
That... actually sounds like a really good story idea. Sunburst and Flash teaching Flurry Heart while Cadence and Shining get a break from parenting for the day. Throw in some Flurry shenanigans, and some cute moments between her and each of the stallions, and it would be a fun, lighthearted slice of life. Is there a reason you haven't written it yourself?

9685333
im better at providing ideas for others to work off of then putting them into form myself. my creativity stretches only as far as the planning phase. if you feel so motivated feel free to write out this idea of mine into form. better to make a sculpture with the hands of a sculptor then the hands of one who delivers the rock.

also to respond to your response of my comment my idea was less shining armor and cadence performing less parenting duties and more so sunburst actually doing his job as crystaller and educating flurry while flash initially does his "teaching" indirectly while supervising them and as time goes on interactions between the trio grow more casual where flash does his "teaching" more freely.

This was a really great story, their chemistry is adorable and the events of their day are very creative and well-written. I'd really love to read a sequel!!!! :raritywink:

This is cute, and I wouldn't mind a sequel to it.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!