Tangled Webs
Twilight Sparkle let out a tired, if satisfied, sigh as she trotted to her favorite reading chair and plopped down into it as if the world itself was resting atop her weary shoulders. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then let it out for a moment as she laid on her stomach. For a moment, she let herself sink deeper into that light-maroon cushion with its high-raised chair back and two foreleg rests.
Not quite getting the utmost relaxation, Twilight tried ‘lounging position #4’: a position where she rested both forelegs on the left sitting-position armrest and her head on her forehooves.
The chair was almost large enough to be considered a love-sofa by pony standards, but comically sized for a chair. Still, Twilight preferred to think of it as her ‘love-chair’ as she loved that chair. Loved it, because it never failed to de-stress her after a long day…
Twilight shifted again, this time into ‘lounging position #2’: where she was lying on her back with her muzzle pointed up at the ceiling. She briefly considered giving her stomach, or ‘lounging position #3’ another go, but no… This would do.
While her chair was all fine and good for feeling relaxed, Twilight knew friends were better, and there was one friend in particular who usually always made her feel more relaxed. Qualifier there being ‘usually’ for when that friend didn’t feel like making anypony or anyone feel relaxed. It was usually because said friend was angry. Either that or one or more worlds were ending.
Or her friend was angry BECAUSE one or more worlds was ending.
Still, more often than not, Sunset Shimmer was a great pony slash person to let out the day’s events to. A way for Twilight to unburden herself of either the daily grind, whatever new craziness had befallen Equestria or just her friends in general.
It was like shouting into a void… a responsive, super empathetic void that often knew the right thing to say, so in that regard Twilight supposed it wasn’t like shouting at the void at all.
Not to mention Twilight was always on hoof to listen to Sunset and supply her own advice when necessary. All, and all, the relationship made for a lifeline that went both ways in what could be a MAD world… or pair of them, as the case was.
With a brief glance and a magenta glow of her horn, Twilight raised a hard-covered journal with gilded pages up to her face and a quill from its inkwell. With precise control of her magic, she flipped a few pages to an empty spot and began to write in near-perfect typeface. ‘Dear Sunset Shimmer,
‘You there?’
Twilight waited. Sunset was pretty good at responding at any time of the day and at this particular time she should be free of most her obligations. Still, she could be preoccupied or detained and a response might be minutes, even hours away…
Twilight glanced at the books around her…
She had plenty of secondary methods to distract her as she waited for a response.
Twilight suddenly winced and thanked her lucky sun that books weren’t mind-readers, still… she felt compelled to reach out to a rousing story on Equestrian School History and give it a few gentle pats as if apologizing. She closed the journal. Well… If Sunset wasn’t going to respond… maybe just the next few cha—
‘Buzz! Buzz!’
“Ah!” It was all Twilight could do to stop both journal and quill from landing on her face as she instinctually cringed and closed her eyes. Slowly opening them, she noticed her ink-soaked quill a hair's breadth from jabbing her in the eye. Which maybe would have been a minor injury or maybe would have been permanent blindness with the big book behind it to wedge the point home.
Twilight made a mental note, filed in a much-ignored cabinet of said notes, to put the journal away before her mind began to wander next time.
She opened the book to the page she had just written on, it being easier to find as it was still glowing as Sunset penned her response.
“Hahahahaha!” read Sunset’s free, if somewhat messy writing. ‘You don’t need to start an entry with ‘Dear Sunset Shimmer’ if you just want to talk, you know!’
Twilight couldn’t help but smirk as she wiggled her back further into the cushion and returned fire. ‘And you know you there’s no need to actually write out the onomatopoeia for laughter!’
‘Hey, I’ll stop my thing when you stop yours! So, what’s up?’
‘I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’
‘Naw… I’m just helping Rainbow Dash with her lit homework. I could use a break. She’s a tad impatient, as I’m sure you know.’
Twilight shook her head. ‘Rainbow Dash: ‘high school student’. There’s something I’m glad I missed.’ There was pause long enough for Twilight to cringe. She could practically see Sunset’s smirk right there on the blank page as she frantically added to her last sentence. ‘Er, but don’t tell her I said that, please!’
‘Hahaha! You’re lucky I’m out of the blackmail business!’
‘WE’RE all lucky, Sunset…’
‘Yeah, yeah… it’s too early for you to get all sentimental on me, Princess. Speaking of Dash, I still can’t imagine her as a TEACHER, so you might have me beat. Go ahead and tell her I said that.’
“HAH!” Twilight’s laugh turned into a titter as she turned the page and wrote. ‘I exclaimed in mirth and merriment.’
‘NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!’
Twilight felt herself laugh all the harder. What a page topper.
“So, speaking of your latest experiment. How’s the school? Any major hang-ups since Mom thought it would be hi-LARIOUS for you to be given the run around by that stick-in-the-mud stallion with the stick up his flank?”
Feeling her muscles relax even further despite Sunset’s dig at Celestia, a subject Twilight knew well enough to avoid mentioning with Sunset on account of all the grief she would receive, Twilight responded, “The school is coming along fine! Nothing out of the ordinary to report there… You know… Except for the usual Pinkie shenanigans.’
‘Hah! Pinkie’s shenanigans are many things, but never ‘usual’!’
Twilight felt herself grin. ‘Well, some errant frosting on the hallways is nothing to report with the stories you’ve told me regarding Pinkie over there!’
‘Girl does love to accidentally explode a cupcake or full-sized cake from time to time!’
‘Yep! Oh, well there was one new thing! The map called on Starlight again.’
‘Uh-oh! What she’d do this time?’
Twilight chuckled. ‘Nothing! I mean, it wasn’t just Starlight.’
‘You finally got to chaperone the girl this time?’
‘No, nothing like that. It called on her and Sunburst.’
‘Huh. That’s a new one. What the heck sort of mission would it have for those two specifically?’
‘Funny thing! I guess they needed to reconnect with their parents.’
‘Wow! That sounds… oddly personal for the map to get int—’
Twilight pursed her lips. It wasn’t like Sunset to stop mid-sentence or mid-word. Now, she could have been interrupted by many things. One of their friends wanting to say ‘Hi’ to Twilight, or Pinkie exploding something nearby, or even Pinkie exploding something then wanting to say ‘Hi’ to Twilight. However, all those things usually involved a quick scribble as something distracted Sunset and caused her to lose control of the pen.
Twilight couldn’t help but feel stress start to reclaim parts of her body as Sunset continued to be silent.
‘Sunset?’ she wrote tentatively.
Finally, words appeared again, however at a notably slower pace. ‘Sorry, but did you mean Sunburst’s parents?’
Twilight stared at the sentence for a good long moment. Especially the sudden and odd emphasis on ‘Sunburst’s’.
‘No, no,’ Twilight began to write, ‘they both had one parent each to clear the air with.’
There was a pause. Much longer than Sunset’s usual pauses between responses. Twilight could feel the hair of her coat began to stand a bit straighter as she waited, and waited for a reply.
‘Please explain the exact nature of Starlight’s parent.’
Twilight blinked as she looked at the words written back to her. It still looked like Sunset’s writing, but it had been written even slower than her last response… It was more deliberately somehow. It seemed like something she wrote had made Sunset anxious.
Feeling her heartbeat quicken in her chest for a moment, Twilight replied.
‘Oh, well… Starlight has-had an estranged father! They’ve patched things up now. I know you didn’t ask but Sunburst also had an estranged mother.’
Twilight waited for a response.
And she waited.
And she waited some more.
‘Twilight, this is important. Do you know if Starlight’s father is her biological father or an adopted one?’
Twilight’s heartbeat increased. This had suddenly turned into a tense line of questions or rather, regular questions delivered in a somewhat tense matter. What exactly was Sunset getting at?
Still, it felt like an innocent enough question, if one ignored what Sunset was likely doing to that poor pen.
‘Biologicial, to the best of my knowledge. They share a strong family resemblance in the pictures Starlight brought back.’
Again, there was a pause and Twilight could feel herself plunge deeper and deeper into a state of anxiety.
There was a flash on the page, but no words… In fact, it looked like - like a splatter. From a single drop of water? If Sunset felt the way Twilight did, it could very well be sweat… However, with Sunset it was also quite likely a tear.
This did not bode well. What was it that Sunset had to be so probing regarding Starlight’s father? Or sad for that matter...
Working backward through her memories, a thought occurred to Twilight. Wait, hadn’t Starlight always claimed she was an orphan?
Twilight stopped as a memory hit her like a run-away Friendship Express. There was a lot of crying in that memory; crying and hugging. Crying and hugging that Sunset and Starlight had been doing… Oh, and Spike! Spike was there too. He'd been right along with them; crying with a deep pain Twilight had never noticed resided in her baby dragon as he hugged it out with the two mares. Hugging because there was a connection. A new bond the trio now shared over not knowing their parents…
A bond that apparently wasn’t true for one of the ponies present.
‘Twilight, just one more question.’
Curiously, Sunset had apparently calmed down a bit.
‘Yes, Sunset?’
‘Was the map showing her where her father was? I mean…’
That was odd. Sunset had a tendency to make fun of Twilight for actually dotting out ellipsis.
‘...was this the first time she met her father? Or did she know him before all the cutie mark stealing?’
‘Before. I got the impression that Starlight has had a dad all along from talking to her on her return.’
Twilight sucked in air through her teeth. Sunset calming down had maybe lured her into responding as she would normally. She felt hot beads of sweat collect on her face as she reread what she had just written. It was the truth, but it carried with it just the hints of accusation as if she was working through the same emotions as Sunset, albeit on a far less affected scale. But she knew that gulf in what this meant to Sunset was a world of difference.
Klaxons began to go off in Twilight’s head as fear gripped her. Her entire body suddenly felt that planet weighing it down again. She stared at the blank page again and waited. Hopefully, Sunset would give her a little warning before she tore into this dimension like a demon out of Tartarus.
It was Sunset Shimmer, after all...
Twilight gulped.
For better or for worse, Sunset did write.
‘Is Starlight there? In the castle?’
Twilight stared at the words fearfully and weighed her options. She could protect Starlight briefly, but Sunset could and would go on a rampage until she found her target. Furthermore, lying even to protect Starlight when she had clearly committed a wrong for some reason also felt wrong.
‘Yes’ Twilight wrote back simply.
‘Make sure she stays there.’
Twilight took another deep breath then let it out. Somewhat resolutely she replied with a simple, ‘Understood.’ She waited a few more moments for more words to show up, and when it seemed none where coming, Twilight neatly placed both journal and quill back where she had got them.
Then she slowly got up out of her chair…
…and broke into a gallop that carried her of her study and into the hall.
She certainly knew better than to stop Sunset, but she could at least warn Starlight. Oh! Also, she could teleport!
Twilight slid to a halt as her horn glowed magenta. With a flash of magic and a ‘pomff!’ she found her scenery changed slightly from one crystalline purple hallway full of stained-glass green doors with gold trim to another crystalline purple hallway full of stained-glass green doors with gold trim, but with different designs etched on the walls. Having teleported to the exact door she wanted, Twilight took a moment to catch her breath then rapped a forehoof on the door.
“Coming!” came Starlight’s cheerful reply.
Twilight tried her best to force a smile that suggested that ‘everything is a-o-kay’! A smile that suggested she was just there to talk and at least nothing was seriously wrong!
The door swung open and there was Starlight’s smiling face. A face that stopped smiling the moment Starlight laid eyes on Twilight’s smile. “Uh-oh, what happened?” Starlight swallowed. “It looks like something is seriously wrong!”
Twilight made a mental note that went into its own overflowing pile to work on her ‘Everything is a-o-kay!’ smile. “It’s uh… Well… Erm…”
Starlight groaned. “Don’t tell me the map wants me again!”
That gave Twilight reason to pause. “Your cutie mark would have lit up if that was the case.”
“Oh…” Starlight turned to look at her decidedly not glowing and vibrating flank. “Riiiight.” Starlight gulped. “So, is the world coming to an end?”
“Not exactly…” Twilight said. “I mean… not for every pony… probably.”
Starlight pursed her lips in confusion. “So, just like a city? Ponyville?”
Twilight shook her head. “Less ponies… Again, and I can’t stress this enough, probably.”
Starlight’s eyes tightened. “So, What? Just you Element Bearers? Just the castle?”
“Well… Just a pony in the castle…”
Starlight took a double take. That must have narrowed the list down quite a bit. “You?”
Twilight shook her head.
Starlight swallowed. “Me?”
Twilight nodded.
Starlight put on a worried look. “Is it Queen Chrysalis?” Worry turned to genuine fear and dread. “Is it T-Trixie?”
“No, and no. It’s, uh… worse.” Twilight said haltingly. “Erm, depending on what you imagined with Trixie.”
“Well, there was the time with the manticore.”
“Right, right!” Twilight nodded. “The manticore… No, nothing like that.”
“Well, then what?!” Starlight said, clearly somewhat exasperated.
Twilight sighed. “Remember how you just visited your dad?”
Starlight sighed. “Of course, it was just today! Is that—” Starlight let out a dramatic groan “—He’s not here, is he?”
“Uh, no…” Twilight said.
Starlight let out a sigh of relief. “Wow! Really had me worried then!” Starlight chuckled. “Well assuming it’s not anything I did, it can’t be that bad!”
Twilight grimaced. “It actually does concern something you did…”
It was Starlight’s turn to grimace. “Oh… Well, can you tell me what it was so I can figure out how to say ‘I’m sorry’ and which friend I need to hang out with to make it better?”
Twilight cringed hard.
Starlight’s eyes opened up wide. “That - that bad, huh?”
Taking yet another deep breath, Twilight stared Starlight in the face. “Okay, so… you know how I keep in constant contact with Sunset, right?”
Starlight nodded solemnly, though she didn’t seem to understand why. “Of course!”
“Well… I told Sunset. About today…”
Starlight chuckled. “Yes, aaaaaa…” the word died on Starlight’s lips as a revelation slowly entered in through her mouth, claiming her lips and then spreading through the rest of her face. Soon, Twilight could see that all-too-familiar weight of the world on Starlight and an expression of deep despair she didn’t know was possible. One she’d maybe have given everything she owned not to have witnessed.
Well… Maybe not her books.
“STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT GLIMMERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”
As Sunset’s wrath-filled scream permeated through every inch of the castle, Starlight’s expression shifted all the more.
Okay, that expression, Twilight would have given up her books to not have witnessed.
Starlight Glimmer felt herself go numb, almost completely in fact. A feeling she wished was all-encompassing at this moment. As it turned out, she could still very much feel her heart. Not only was it moving despite feeling like it had broken into many jagged pieces, those pieces were stabbing and cutting up the rest of her chest.
Twilight Sparkle, to her credit, stood with Starlight - or nearby at least. Her mentor simply looked a bit bewildered but not completely scared out of her wits or otherwise downtrodden… Well, it’s not like Sunset Shimmer had shouted out Twilight’s name in a frothing rage.
Speaking of which, the two girls could hear Sunset still snarling and angrily galloping to find them. It was a large castle with hallways that mostly looked the same, so it made sense that Sunset didn’t really know her way around. Starlight considered calling out to her friend, but that also somewhat felt like calling out to the executioner so they could find and immolate you that much faster.
‘Bamf!’
Starlight paused as her ears rotated one way then the other. Twilight’s too.
‘Bamf!’
That sound.
‘Bamf!’
Of course! Sunset was now teleporting to different parts in the castle! Clever girl. Why didn’t Starlight think of that back when she got lost all the time?!
‘Bamf!’
Well, at least she now had the idea for when she got lost from here on out.
‘BAMF!’
A red light briefly filled the hallway.
Right, right. Die now, probably worry about finding your way around the castle, never.
Starlight swallowed and looked down the hall just a bit. Sunset had already spotted her and Twilight. She was cantering forward with enough force that Starlight could feel the vibration of every heavy step. Sunset’s red geode necklace swayed wildly one way then the other with the march. Terrified as she was, Starlight looked over Sunset’s face.
There was sadness there, and a small glint in her eyes that was asking ‘Why’, but also a lot of rage in that expression of the orange alicorn. All and all, the combined look cut Starlight to her core.
Sunset stopped in front of Starlight. Close enough that she could feel Sunset’s hot, angry breath on her face.
Twilight said nothing. She certainly looked a bit worried, but it didn’t seem like she was going to be the first to speak.
Probably for the best. Starlight thought. Sunset might just tear off Twilight’s head first if she interferes…
Much to Starlight’s surprise, Sunset took a breath then spoke in a much evener tone than the mare would have expected, “I’ve been working out in my head all the reasons you might have lied to me.” Sunset paused as if letting the weight of the sentence sink in.
It did and Starlight felt a pressure on her heart that crushed it further.
Sunset continued, “Believe me, I’ve been thinking overtime to justify to myself why you thought you could treat your friends this way!”
Another pause.
This time, Starlight thought the combined weight and wait might just kill her. “Y-yes…and?” she choked out.
Sunset sneered. “None of them ended satisfactorily enough in a way that didn’t make me want to light you on fire.”
“… Oh…” Starlight croaked out. She caught a nervous glance from Twilight as the princess looked between her and Sunset. It wasn’t a great idea for Twilight to get involved, but Starlight doubted she’d let Sunset get violent regardless of how much Sunset - or Starlight for that matter, thought it was warranted.
Sunset continued, “But since I don’t think Twilight here would just let me do that without a fight and because I’m trying to be a good pony even when it seems like a pony I thought was my FRIEND thinks it’s okay to mess with my emotions, I’m going to kindly ask that you stay the hell away from me! Just… Keep out of my dimension.” Sunset’s face hardened as Starlight felt her heart continue to sink. “I’ll give Twilight a courtesy message when I’m heading over… That should be enough for you to find someplace else to be.”
Starlight said nothing, her gaze slowly drifting to the floor.
Sunset, likewise, apparently had nothing else to say, so instead Starlight simply listened to the ragged, angry breathing for a moment. She saw Sunset’s hooves move as the orange mare shuffled and turned. And for a moment, before Sunset’s angry yellow-and-red tail swatted at the air in front of her; Starlight was sure she saw a small droplet of water head towards the floor.
Maybe it was enough.
“Sunset, wait!” Starlight begged. “Please! Wait! Just… hear me out…”
Sunset wheeled around, anger still on her face, but tears and sadness starting to win it over somewhat. “What, Starlight?! WHAT?! Don’t tell me you just wanted to ‘fit in so badly!’ That you really ‘needed a friend’! Confirming that I’m right to feel manipulated here isn’t going to help you or me!”
Starlight’s eyes went wide as her heart thrashed in her chest a few more times. “I… no… I mean… I did need a friend, but that wasn’t the reason I lied… ” she sighed heavily. “It was just easier to pretend I didn’t have a dad, that I had no one…”
Sunset stopped and thought for a moment. If the comment was designed to bring Sunset back, it succeeded. If it was designed to calm her down, in that regard it failed spectacularly. “You can buck right off, Starlight Glimmer!” Sunset shouted as tears continued to leak from her eyes. “You don’t know what it’s like! To actually have no-one! You don’t have the right to tell me it’s easier! It’s the worst feeling ever!” Sunset stopped for a moment. Starlight knew Sunset well enough to know she also had experience in thinking she betrayed her mother, that she was no longer loved by said mother, that she had been a figurative monster to people who didn’t deserve it, and that she had been a literal monster.
All of these thoughts just made Starlight feel that much worse.
“It’s one of the worst feelings ever!” Sunset corrected. “But you STILL don’t get to tell me you pretending you don’t have a daddy is somehow worse!”
“I…” Starlight paused for a moment and simply breathed in and out as the gravity of the situation pushed away the pain in favor of a much worse feeling of inevitability.
She was about to lose a friend.
She was going to lose one of her best friends in the actual-multiverse and she was going to have no one to blame but herself. She was about to lose someone who was there for Starlight when she needed it the most because she had tricked herself into believing something for too long.
While Starlight had believed Sunset would forgive any past transgression given Sunset’s own past, she never stopped to consider how Sunset would react if she herself felt betrayed.
In hindsight, Starlight should have known better, she supposed. Sunset stopped talking to the one and the only pony she really loved for years based on feeling betrayed. She was, well… starlight competing with the sun in that regard.
A sentient snowman would stand a better chance against Sunset here than she did right now. Starlight understood that.
If she was going to lose her friendship with Sunset…
If she truthfully stood no chance at maintaining this precious connection, then at least she could end it by trying to make right.
Sunset deserved that much from her.
“I-I’m… I’m truly sorry,” Starlight finally said after a series of false starts. “It… For what it’s worth, I believed what I said at the time, to you. I’ve convinced myself of a lot of falsehoods to break away from my old life.” Starlight inhaled sharply. “And I’m still picking through the pieces of that past life to put myself back together.” Starlight managed a smile, but it wasn’t one of joy or even her too-symmetrical smile she resorted to when she knew smiling was appropriate, but she couldn’t manage a real one. Instead, her smile was one of realization. Realization perhaps that something was really wrong with her, deep, deep inside. That she was just… hopeless when it came right down to it. And no amount of ‘friendship lessons’ could make it right. “I actually had convinced myself I was abandoned until I was reminded it was me who left.”
This response failed to placate Sunset.
At.
All.
Sunset’s betrayed-hurt turned into rage in a hot second, then wielded that emotion with a surgeon’s precision. “So, what?” she said with a bitter coldness that seemly plowed through her previous emotional response. “Let me guess. It’s all your dad’s fault you went nuts and tried to steal cutie marks and start your messed-up brainwashing cult. It’s daddy’s fault you almost destroyed Equestria through time magic! It’s daddy’s fault you decided to lie to me about something REALLY BUCKING IMPORTANT!” Sunset growled out the last bit. “You do not get to justify manipulating others just because you’re a work in progress.”
Starlight said nothing and merely stared at Sunset. Sunset for her part had managed to stop crying but her chest heaved up and down like she might snap into violence or hysterical crying at a moment’s notice. With Sunset, she might manage both simultaneously and expertly.
“Su-Sunset?” Twilight began tentatively.
Sunset turned on the source of the interruption. “NOT ANOTHER WORD, TWILIGHT SPARKLE! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND STARLIGHT! I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU’LL BE THE ‘BETTER MARE’ HERE AND ACADEMICALLY DISCUSS WHERE SHE ‘WENT WRONG’ AND HOW SHE CAN ‘DO BETTER’ WHEN I LEAVE! BUT FOR ME!” Sunset turned back to Starlight. “Well, it’s pretty bucking personal,” she growled out.
Starlight swallowed and continued haltingly. “It’s- it was my decision. To do all of those things; b-but my dad played a part.” Yeah, that’s going to go over like a solid-lead balloon…
Sunset didn’t hesitate to swat a forehoof across Starlight’s face. And it hit hard, hard enough to remind Starlight she had incurred the wrath of a full alicorn. Complete with earth pony strength - that she hadn’t even begun to use the full might of.
Twilight gasped.
Starlight felt a strange sensation. Something left her for a moment and journeyed to Sunset then. Feelings and memories. It seemed even that brief contact was enough for her geode. The current feelings of deep regret from Starlight. The old feelings of loneliness. The memories of her father practically smothering with love and attention. Starlight at least knew Sunset’s powers well enough to understand what had just transpired.
Which… would have actually been a really clever trick to pull if Starlight had actually thought of it, she admitted to herself even as she experienced the feeling of her soul being ground into paste.
However, even as the new perspective was delivered to Sunset, it clearly wasn’t enough. She looked no more sympathetic to Starlight’s plight as she did moments ago.
Starlight just stood there for a moment, her face now pointed away from Sunset as she stared off into space.
Her face somewhere between anguish and pure wrath, Sunset turned and began to trot away again.
Desperate a feeling much akin to drowning, Starlight searched her memories, her thoughts, her feelings, for anything that at least do something right by Sunset. Suddenly in the darkness of her situation, she saw a light. Not a lightbulb, or even a candle, just… Just maybe a tiny spec of starlight glimmering in the darkness. “Remember that time you asked why I hadn’t written Starburst and I hit my head like the thought never occurred to me?” she asked without lifting her head.
Sunset simply continued walking.
Starlight took a deep breath and continued, “Well… apparently the idea never occurred to my dad either.”
Mid-stride, Sunset suddenly paused.
“He never suggested I write Sunburst, or go see him.” Starlight swallowed as she unearthed the last bits of her determination and continued. “Or even that I try to make new friends. He- he…” Starlight closed her eyes and took another deep breath. “He didn’t even so much as suggest I enroll in Celestia’s school when I got my cutie mark in magic of all things.” Starlight opened her eyes. “I think he might have wanted to keep me for himself, in a way… To stay his little filly for as long as possible. I know it’s no excuse for all the things I’ve done, but- but one day I just left, angry at the world. Wondering why other ponies had friends and all I had was my dad who barely treated me better than a toddler. I left, pushed my dad out of my head, and just… started trying to make the world make sense! To make it work like it should!” The emotional dam holding back Starlight’s tears broke and tears streamed from her eyes. “I know it was wrong now! I know it! And- and I don’t expect you to forgive me,” Starlight’s voice suddenly changed. Fear had suddenly taken hold of her words. “But I think… I think if I stayed, if I had tried to make things right with my dad even when I knew something was wrong... that’d I’d still be there; I’d still be that sad, lonely little filly holed up in her room. A filly loved by her father and wondering what was wrong with her so much that the rest of the world didn’t want her…”
Sunset remained motionless.
Twilight had also frozen into place, though it was clear from her expression that she felt some reaction was appropriate. She was simply too weighed down by the reality of all that was going on that she didn’t know what to say or do.
Starlight continued, “I just… I just wanted you to know,” she said simply, petering out in a deflated tone as she let head sink and tears run freely from her face to pool on the ground below. That was it. It undoubtedly wasn’t enough to make up for the wrong she’d done. For the wrong she was.
But at least…
At least she’d done everything she could to make it right.
…Right?
Sunset Shimmer had frozen in place, her eyes mostly locked in angry-crying as she stared down a hallway that would lead her back to the mirror-portal and home.
… probably.
She had considered all kind of excuses from Starlight, some borderline legit, most smelling to high-heaven like horse apples, and many just crazy because it was Starlight Glimmer she was considering here.
Still, that level of crazy?! That was a level of crazy even Sunset hadn’t considered. Worst, it felt like the truth and all of a sudden that insane mess of a pony called Starlight Glimmer… Well… she started to make sense.
And that was the craziest thing of all.
Seemingly figuring out something to do besides stand around and boggle vacantly at the shenanigans, Twilight Sparkle spoke, “Starlight, I want you to— ack!”
A fire-colored blur of hair and feathers suddenly blazed past Twilight. Sunset had quickly done an about face and began fly-galloping. Tears still streaming down her face because it took quite a bit for her eyes to stop once they’d gotten going. A lot had been piled on her plate in a very short amount of time and it was difficult to work out everything she should do regarding that nuttiest of nutbars, Starlight Glimmer. She did manage to work out three things.
One: Starlight was hurting and Sunset wanted, no, needed to make her friend feel better.
Two: She was hurting and - wronged party or not, making amends felt better than making a statement.
Three: Like HELL she was going to let Twilight Sparkle have this one!
Sunset practically tackled Starlight as she threw both forelegs and wings around her.
She didn’t quite catch all the details between the heavy, crushing weight of the emotions she felt. Or Starlight wondering out loud why she was being hugged, nor the exact words regarding Starlight insisting that she didn’t deserve what was happening right now. However, she did have the presence of mind to chant slash sob out ‘I forgive you! I forgive you!’ over and over again until Starlight calmed down and returned the hug.
“Well, erm… I’ll leave you two to it, I guess.”
As Starlight continued to sob into Sunset’s left wing, Sunset looked up and caught Twilight’s relieved and happy, if somewhat disappointed face as the mare began to turn.
“Oh, get in here, Princess!” Sunset exclaimed as her horn glowed red and she dragged Twilight into the embrace of her left wing.
“Wha-what?!” Twilight said in a bewildered tone. “I didn’t do anything!”
Sunset laughed as she felt Twilight’s confusion wash over her in a somewhat literal way. “You stayed out of my way!” she said. “It must have taken a lot of effort on your part to not butt in with a lecture.”
“I uh…” Twilight relaxed in the embrace a bit. “Okay, you got me there!” she said as she extended her own wings around Starlight and Sunset.
Sunset continued, “Plus, you know… You were the one who was willing to forgive a couple screw-balls like us when nopony else would.” Sunset gave Twilight a beaming, tear-soaked smile. “That’s gotta count for something.”
“… Oh…” Twilight said as she began to tear up. Something Sunset prided herself on eliciting. After all, she knew how hard it was to get Twilight to actually cry over something. “I guess it does.” she said as raised her forelegs and squeezed Sunset and Starlight all the harder.
Sunset giggled as emotions, bits of memory, and thoughts hit her in stereo. Threatening to blast out and blind whatever metaphorical ears and eyes she had for this stuff. “See! Now is the time to be sentimental!”
“Pffft. Oh, be quiet!” Twilight said as she began to break from the embrace slightly and playfully swat at Sunset.
Sunset took the opportunity to break the hug, then took a moment to catch her breath.
Starlight, likewise, seemed to be working on getting her breathing back to normal. Sunset was sure it was mostly because of the unicorn’s previous emotional state. However, being bear-hugged by two alicorns might have given Starlight reason to think that ‘death by forgiveness hug’ was her penance.
“So, really? I’m forgiven? Just like that?” Starlight asked as she wiped away tears.
Sunset worked at drying her own eyes. “Honestly, I never would have thought I’d accept ‘my dad messed me up’ as an excuse, but you paint a pretty interesting picture, Starlight.”
“Uh… thanks?” Starlight said.
“Seriously though,” Sunset said. “Go get therapy. Maybe even family therapy.”
Starlight grimaced. “Okay, but that would mean spending time with my dad. You know... who kinda messed me up, I guess?”
Sunset frowned. “Okay… Well, start with yourself, then, for sure.”
“I can help!” Twilight said cheerfully.
Starlight let out a laugh. “I don’t know if that’s strictly necessary…”
Twilight shot Starlight a disappointed look. “But I was working on a lecture about lying to a friend pretty much the entire time you and Sunset were working through things!” she whined.
Starlight chuckled to herself. “I think you can save—”
Sunset interrupted, “Lock her in a room with you and don’t give her the cliff-notes version.”
“What?! Sunset!” Starlight protested.
Twilight laughed. “Done, and done!”
Starlight flashed Sunset a ‘How could you!’ look.
Sunset volleyed back with a demonic smile. “I said you were ‘forgiven’, not that you were off the hook.”
Starlight groaned. “Alright, that’s fair. I shouldn’t get to win for losing…” She sighed to herself and began mumbling. “But a friendship lecture? Twilight’s going to go on for hours… There might even be a test.”
“Aw, man!”
All three mares suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked down that hall as Spike quickly walked up.
He continued, “Figures, I hid for the fireworks, but missed the waterworks!” Spike made his way up to Sunset and Starlight. “So! What’d I miss?” he asked as he scanned the faces of the three mares. Faces, that Spike may not have noticed, were looking more and more nervous. “Oh, come ooooon!” Spike wined. “You can tell a fellow P.M.S.er!” he added as he knowingly elbowed both Sunset and Starlight.
Silence met Spike’s request for answers.
“Uh… You know… P.M.S? Parents are Missing Society?” Spike frowned. “Remember?” he added in a sad lilt.
Sunset felt herself involuntarily cringe and smile. “We remember. It’s just…”
Spike’s frown deepened. “Is this, like, a mare’s only thing?”
“Erm…” Starlight looked at Sunset who smiled reassuringly and nodded. She then turned to Twilight who mirrored Sunset’s actions. “No,” Starlight said with a small smile as she turned back to Spike. “But there’s something I need to tell you about my recent trip to my hometown…”
The End
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“I’ve got a dad that would literally kiss and hug me to death while telling me everything’s going to be okay, decided that was NOT okay, ran away from home, pretended he never existed, and now I’m apologizing for lying about it to my orphaned friends, namely you and Sunset!”
*holds out a dessert stamped with a frowny face*
“Apology cake?”
I orphaned myself before I actually went mad and orphaned myself!
9043613
Is it odd I could totally see Spike responding to that with a shrug and "Yeah, okay"? And when asked to explain, states he's used to the ponies in his life forgetting to mention relatives they'd all but forgotten about until they suddenly became important again?
9043645
"Twilight just up and remembered she had a brother one day, Applejack I can understand because she was too young to remember hers, but Rainbow and Fluttershy never even mentioned theirs for years!"
Wow... Starlight's a psycho!
9043667
Sociopath. Easy mistake to make, really.
That was a lot more emotionally intense than I expected. Well done.
I love that vector. That alone was enough to make me read this.
Oh, Sunset. You let Starlight off way to easy. But I suppose that's par the course with Starlight.
If the dragon in an upcoming episode IS Spike's father, then that means Sunset's going to be all alone in the PMS...
and so by lieing and manipulating the emotions of others starlight glimmer gets away with yet another total bitch move
In which the 'latchkey kid' negligent parenting defense cited by the writers for Starlight's actions continues to be refuted as an excuse for them. Why is it every time they try and do so, they make the lack of punishment for them all the worse, as she has less justification by which to have done them as time has moved on? It seems they lose ground on the argument for why they've not every time they try.
YOU had a better explanation for it, and Even I would call THAT one entirely bullcrap not just on it's own merit, but from personal experience of that being exactly how the manipulative sociopaths I've encountered throughout my life have gotten away scott free out of being held responsible for their own acti---Oh now I see what you did here.
Well that was as touching as a round of heavy petting. This actually reminds me of when my little sister would tell everybody fake tragic backstories for herself because she didn't know that anyone who knew I was her brother would immediately run to me for the truth. I had to tell dozens of kids that not only was she not raised by wolves, but she also got the idea from a story I read to her about a couple of girls who had.
9043613
And for the next three mornings, Spike made everyone pancakes with all the fixings.
Starlight got gruel.
No ones going to point out the fact that Sunset bashing Starlight goes agains everything she stands for
Pretty good little story. Nice job
9043861
I'm confused by what you mean. 'Bashing' where I'm from legitimately means 'bashing someone's head in' meaning to grievously injure or even kill someone. Or it means to talk at length and poorly behind someone's back. Neither of which happened here.
If you're talking about the slap; Sunset has quite the temper and as far as she was concerned was being repeatedly and poorly lied to, to her face; while the guilty party continued to play the victim. I honestly don't blame her.
i think you should keep this out of canon of your universe story was good but it does kinda hurt alot of the back bone of it you built
9043944
I don't think it will affect it in any way since that is set before this happens.
9043949
Not with the timeline of the stories being what they are with the show.
9043944
This is technically after that (in progress) story, so it won't really.
Ohhh damn, I've only read the intro and know that shit is gonna go down.
...And Starlight thought betraying Sunset's trust was going to be bad enough.
De-stress
Then.
Man I love every story than comes out of this universe. This version of sunset is my favorite on the site and everyone is a mix of ridiculous yet endearing and believable and it just works. Not sure I'll ever reach a day where a new story with this sunset doesn't make me excited.
9043949
Idk I feel like this gives them more in common. They both have single parents who they ran away from after feeling betrayed by them, though for different reasons, and while have recently made amends they still ha e a long way to go before they are as close as they once were. Starlight dad is sunsets celestia from made about everything.
9043926
I probably meant ‘berate’ unless I’m mistaken by what that means, too
I just have issues with stories that completely assasinate Starlight’s character just so Sunset could look better and totally justified in calling her “retarded” or something along those lines.
The people who write those thinly veiled accusatory fics might as well have “I hate Starlight and Sunset is my waifu” tattooed on their chest
9044119
I actully like Starlight, at least my version of her. Though I feel the latest season has finally got her place amongst the cast figured out.
I do feel that Sunset has a much more solid grasp of right and wrong than Starlight does, and the canon also seems to support this. This is also a bit more personal to Sunset then the odd collection of mostly strangers who have it out for her for some reason. She's also quick to anger, so there's that.
Ponies have major family issues
9044119
No, she certainly berated Starlight. But, again, Starlight earned it in this case; she lied about an issue that meant a lot to Sunset. And then continued to act as if it wasn't - or shouldn't be a big deal until she realized that she could lose a friend over it. Then decided to play the victim and make excuses.
You're a little incorrect about Justice hating Starlight. In fact, he likes her significantly more than I do, as evidenced by him continuously writing her into his stories. Canon shot his headcanon dead, and he felt the need to address it in a manner that would be the most plausible within the story and her character. In this case; Starlight lied. Which she does. Often. Especially at the beginning. Which is when the first story was set.
I'm confused by what you mean by 'calling her retarded' not once was that word used by anyone but you.
9044136
Maybe I’m just annoyed by the cliche of Sunset being written as hypocritically unsympathetic to Starlight’s plights cause the writer feels “she isn’t doing it right” that’s been around since the end of season 5
Whatever happened to “if you dislike a character don’t write them.” Or “Ponies are People, not punching bags.”
9043861
You're mistaken, sir. This is not about bashing, this is a conflict. Back when Starlight was introduced to the crazy world of Sunset is MAD she believed she had no parents. Hasbro in their infinite wisdom saw fit to create one for her. This creates a conflict in the bond shared between three souls, an important one. Finding out that canon had made a liar out of her, Sunset was naturally upset with Starlight. This required a resolution of sorts.
9044146
Yes, ponies are people, and when people wrong other people, conflict happens. Sometimes, writers write about said conflict. We call these things stories.
9043834
In fairness, she really is crazy enough to have convinced herself with utter sincerity that she had no parents. She's been brainwashing others for years, of course she started with herself. But here, she found out she'd seriously wronged a friend and tried to make amends. That's about as good as you can hope for.
9044257
no she figured out that she seriously wronged a friend and couldn't handle the guilt or come up with a decent apology so she guilted sunset into forgiving her. pretty sure any psychologist ever would back em up on that view.
RIP Starlight.
9043926
In fairness, she'd left her newspaper behind, and sometimes a 'how dare you' slap needs to be done via hoof.
Right wing? Her left wing is already occupied by Starlight at the moment
9044266
I would say you were right if we couldn't literally see inside her head and know her motives. At the point where Sunset delivers her 'stay out of my life" speech Starlight is only trying to explain herself in a way that her friend can hopefully understand.
Maybe canon Starlight would try to pull off the manipulation you talk about, here, she's just a broken pony trying to patch herself together, and sometimes important things slip through those cracks.
These are some messed up mares. Good combo of sweet, funny and sad.
9043717
Kinda par for the course on the Sunset end of this equation, too. I'm not sure what one needs to do to earn a permanent black mark from Sunset, but apparently "send me and my friends to an empty white void to die of dehydration over time" or "erase all my friend's memories of me effectively whipping out all my good deeds since I've changed because I didn't befriend YOU personally" isn't enough.
Sunset also kinda gets that a parent can accidentally do a lot of damage, even inadvertently, in my setting.
Not that I'm begrudging anyone who thinks Starlight got off easy here... Plausible excuses and a rather odd thinking process aside, what she did was still pretty egregious when examined in a vacuum. Sunset's not wrong that Starlight should seek real therapy, and I'm likely at least going to explore this concept, in other stories, of certain characters having flaws that, while they don't necessarily make them evil (depending on the character), it does mean they're always going to need a bit of help with this "friendship" concept.
Girl, you have issues.
Wait, the demon, the dictator, or me?
YES!
Just looking at this story, a couple points to bring up.
Yeah. Starlight is a reforming sociopath. However, while that does give her a knack for glib excuses, it doesn't give her the ability to trick Sunset Sense. As a result, when she does give her spiel to Sunset, Sunset *actually knows it's the truth.*
And that, coupled with her knowledge that Starlight is *almost* as broken as she is, and the fact that she probably wasn't looking forward to losing a friend any more than Starlight was, is what have her the ability to forgive. The fact that she *is* the better pony.
As for Starlight betraying her... self-esteem is a powerful thing. She'd spent years building her identity out of her loneliness. She hadn't seen her Dad since running away - for all she knew, he *had* died. thing
And there actually is a very real thing that *Sunset* can't understand, at least not until she gets that empathic flash.
If there's something worse than not having a parent, it's having one who smothers you, who traps you, who actually hurts and abuses you, and who calls it love. That type of smothering *is* emotionally abusive, a strange combination of emotionally incestuous and infantilizing all at the same time.
Starlight just literally doesn't have the words to describe it. Whowould?
Her father was abusing her by loving her too much. How insane is that?
After all that time, it hurts less for him to be dead than for her to be on the run from him. Just write it all out, make it so that NONE of it happened.
Then she can be mad at a cosmic, impersonal force for ruining her life instead of at someone she loves and hates all at the same time.
But putting that in words requires more awareness, acceptance, and healing than she's done het, having *just* confronted it again and tried to heal some of those rifts that she still can't understand now.
Sunset, on touching her, doesn't need it in words any more. She can feel it herself, and move from there.
I assume you mean "De-stress." Great story, by the way. I love the closing advice to Starlight. She really should see a therapist. It'd just be healthy.
9044661
9044070
Got these! Thanks!
Yeah, Starlight goofed and she's lucky that she lives with Twilight. Because the fact that Twi is on Sunset's power level, and therefore an effective deterent to the apocalypse incarnate, is most likely the only reason the princesses aren't fishing her out of the elemental plane of fire right now.
I honestly wonder how cathartic it might be to hit somebody with any real passion. Pity I can't do it, because I'm pretty sure that the bare minimum I'm capable of would be life-changing, if not fatal and I have this nigh-insurmountable weakness called 'pity for the weak'. That said, you made it much easier to sympathize with Starlight than canon has, because the latter has made a completely reprehensible monster of her. Your Starlight, while still of disgusting character, is at least understandable. She is virtually identical to my younger sister in behavior and the reason for her behavior. To that end, I agree with the following points:
1) Firelight is probably trying to make up for lost time with her due to his career, having taken Rarity's problem with Sweetie Belle into overdrive.
2) Sunset is being extremely hypocritical. That's good though. She is not an inherently good person, otherwise her being the avatar of "forgiveness" would have no merit. That is, if I'm understanding the concept of forgiveness correctly. Also, she's having an emotional pique and given her history with those, the fact that she ONLY slapped Starlight and yelled at her a bit shows impressive self-control.
3) Starlight is a sociopath. Trixie is a psychopath, for those seeking a visual reference of the difference between the two (which seems to be that one is an idiot). Like it or not, those kinds of people are real and in a world where you don't just lock them away until they die alone, you kind of have to explain an alternative means of handling them. Personally, I like Justice's idea and admit that I would not have handled her as well as him.
Really though, berating fanfiction authors for their portrayal of characters is even more insane that the concept of "canon". I mean come on. In the latter case, you're looking at the results of a debate over which fictional things and events are more or less "true" or "real" than the competition; and in the former, you're completely defeating the point of fanfiction. This is the same medium that created "My Immortal" and "50 Shades", FFS.
Now that I've compared her to my sister, come to think of it, I am genuinely worried for the well-being of both any pets she might have had and doubly so for Sunburst (it'd normally be higher, but at least I think she probably won't kill him). Speaking of coming to think of things, Sunburst reminds me a lot of this kid who was essentially my "kohai" when I first started going to a charter school and who I more or less "adopted" in order to protect from her absolutely savage attacks. The physical kind, by the way. But hey! This is pastel magic pony land! Real, lasting harm never happens to anyone for any reason, which is why it's totally okay that psychology is not a thing in the world where one individual's emotions could potentially destroy all life in it.
"If there's something worse than not having a parent, it's having one who smothers you, who traps you, who actually hurts and abuses you, and who calls it love."
It used to be called "spoiling", and it's a crime as old as time. But hey! Maybe Firelight is just raising his daughter as he was raised! Parental excuses have infinite reach! I kind of pity Starlight though. At least my mother held me to standards of character and performance while she was getting me intimate with death. I turned out great. I'm only a jerk where everybody's a jerk. Such as on the internet, or on the road.
"That type of smothering *is* emotionally abusive, a strange combination of emotionally incestuous and infantilizing all at the same time."
Wait. Are you suggesting that there is another type of smothering, other than the literal one?
"Starlight just literally doesn't have the words to describe it. Who would?"
You know we're reading a story about this, right? Also, 'literally anyone who has gone through an abusive experience and/or has the barest grasp on psychology, and is intelligent'. Such as, I don't know, Starlight for example. She had a lot, in fact.
"Her father was abusing her by loving her too much. How insane is that?"
It's um... not? 'Moderation is key' used to be a popular turn of phrase for a reason. Too much of anything is abuse. That is literally how abuse works as a concept.
Sunset is a fiery pone, and Starlight a broken one.
All in all, a pretty intense and quite good little story!
I was wondering if you were going to address this. I figured since at least half of your stories aren’t just head canon, but counter-canon, you would just leave this one alone as well. After all, it’s not like you cut off Sunset’s wings after Mirror Magic.
I’m honestly surprised Sunset didn’t rip the sun away from her mother to help show her displeasure. Loved it.
I saw what you did there, and I am not taking that lying down.
Epically done here!