• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Tuesday


I like to write short comedy things in my spare time. One day I'll write a proper story, I swear.


Finding themselves with a surplus of illegal fireworks, Trixie and Starlight begin selling them on the black market, to make a bit of extra money on the side. But what sort of ponies would want to buy illicit fireworks?

Short and stupid. Inspired by a joke from Season 8 Episode 7, although this story contains no real spoilers for the plot of that episode.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

If they need more Flair, could always ask Rarity for some Bellbottoms. Her reaction would be hilarious. :raritydespair:

What if Twilight banned interspecies dating?! It will be a disaster.

Sequel idea: Trixie and Starlight begin selling illicit trousers

My YonaCord ship! :raritycry:

You managed to write this the same day the episode aired?

Well, it's only short, and it's Saturday, so I didn't have anything else I particularly needed to do. Also, the team of starving authors I keep chained up to work for me helped.


It's not really that hard to do if you're quite inspired.

Now a ten thousand word story the same day an episode aired... that would be something amazing.

Mister Alex... M-May I have some p-p-porridge, please? I promise I'll write more next time. I'm s-so very hungry.

You'll get more porridge when this reaches the Feature box! :twilightangry2:

I guess someone is going to bed hungry tonight. :trollestia:

God, if this hits the box, this comment is gonna be laughed out more than it already is.

This was a fun little story.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :raritystarry:

Really could've been a deleted scene or subplot of the show. Heard every line in the characters' voices, that's how good it was.

Thanks, man! It's good to be back in the saddle, on the road again. Except for all the saddlesores.

Thank you :yay:

“What do you mean ‘you can’t let off fireworks in a residential area’?”

“I’m sorry, but the regulations are clear-”

“But Twilight, how can the Great and Powerful Trixie possibly hope to wow the crowds without a grand pyrotechnical display?”

“I’m sorry, Trixie, but fireworks have been banned within Ponyville limits ever since that horrific fire," Twilight said, waving her hoof dismissively. "You’ll just have to do your show without them.”

It is an outrageous injustice that the Great and Powerful Trixie is forbidden to use firework.
What goes around comes around, Twily.

It must be some kind of hard-as-nails criminal, she thought, probably out to buy fireworks for some nefarious purpose. It must be a pony with no regard for the law, or authority. It must be-


Still waters run deep.

“No, no!” protested Sweetie Belle. “We’re here about fireworks.”

“Fireworks? Oh, yeah, of course,” she said. “What would you like?”

Giving fireworks to the Crusaders is a very bad and potentially deadly idea.

Right as she spoke, however, a black figure suddenly descended from the sky, landing just in front of them. It was a pony, cloaked and hooded, and almost darker than the night around them.

“Greetings, citizens,” she said. “We - I mean, I – wish to make purchase of many fireworks.”

Et tu, Luna?

Trixie sighed. “Fine, 'Trixie’s Back-Alley-at-Midnight Firework Shop' is alright. Although I still think it lacks flair.”

It´s a working title.

And so Pinkie got her fireworks.
Good story.

I answered the question nobody asked about today's episode. How exactly did Twixie get into the firework business, anyway?

And why did Ponyville evenhavea street named ‘Dark and Suspicious Alley’, anyway?

It's clearly named after two famous detectives, After Dark and Very Suspicious.

I didn't even know it was possible to have a headcanon for your own story until now.

[Stefon] "If you're looking for a real 'blast' this holiday, Ponyville's hottest illegal fireworks stand is 'Aaahh, I'm on fire!!!'. Located in the unironically-named Dark and Suspicious Alley in that part of town your parents told you to stay away from after midnight, this place has everything: wooden boxes, dry straw roofs, no fire hydrants, a tall hooded figure that asks you why you think you know them, and if you're lucky, you might see a Screaming Rapidash."

[Seth] "Screaming Rapidash?"

[Stefon] "It's this thing where a former customer who's a unicorn doesn't know fire safety rules…"

Next up: Trixie sells fireworks that run on Fiendfire... :fluttershbad:

8892902 8892907
Its featured, feed him already!

He'll get a bowl of the finest gruel for his good work.

:moustache: Aw Twilight why not?
:twilightangry2: you remember that one time?
:moustache: but it was only once!
:duck: and it was a worthy cause....
:twilightoops: you almost burned down half of Ponyville
:unsuresweetie::applecry::scootangel: Ane we got the other half
:moustache: Come on it was for Opal & Angel Bunnies engagement
:facehoof: all this for hybrids
:flutterrage: Cabits!


Well that's a bit unfair... I'm only getting a three course meal for up voting.

Make it a thimble of the finest gruel and throw in a single apple chunk to even things out!

Shouldn't Pinkie have shown up at one point?

Maybe if they didn't run out of fireworks.

Cabits 4 life

You people are crueler than me :raritywink:

I like to think of this as just the first of many occasions where Trixie sold her illegal fireworks to make a bit on the side. Pinkie probably became a repeat customer later.

I love this hilarious story.

Why don't they just acronymize the name and it Trixie's B.A.M. Fireworks Stand? Y'know cause, explosives go BAM? ...no?

This may have been 'short', but it was not 'stupid'! Funny as all-hell! And glad it ended well and profitable for the two of them.

And why did Ponyville even have a street named ‘Dark and Suspicious Alley’, anyway?

Because they don't want anyone to get lost whenever they are looking for a place for dubious business.

“Trixie!” Starlight scolded. “I’m talking about ethical responsibility here, not just- ooh, that’s a lot of bits.”



Twilight! After all your talk of forming friendship with other species you frown on interspecies relationships? For shame!

“Should we have asked where three fillies got so many bits from?” said Starlight.


“Or what they were planning to do with all those fireworks?”


And this is why Equestrian insurance adjusters reach for the milk of magnesia whenever they see the word "Ponyville" on a form. ANY form.

And why did Ponyville even have a street named ‘Dark and Suspicious Alley’, anyway? Surely that was asking for trouble.

Pressure from the cliche lobby. Same reason why there's a road that goes straight off a cliff.

In any case, delightful stuff. Thank you for a hilarious little burst of a story.

Quick, cute, well-written. I liked it.

It all makes sense now! :pinkiegasp:

“And then we always like to unleash several pounds of Neighjing hellfire over the edge of the Everfree Forest. It’s always very pretty.”

Fluttershy as Bill Killgore?

:flutterrage:: Appul-Two this is Yellow Quiet. Celestia banish it, I want the Everfree bombed!

:ajsmug:: Yellow Quiet, roger, Blue Fast stand by!

:flutterrage:: Blast them into the Pre-unification era!

:ajsmug:: Blue Fast, Appul-Two. They need some fireworks down there. Can you put it there?

:rainbowdetermined2:: Right, Appul-Two. We are fixed to party.

:ajsmug:: Good. Give it all you got and and bring it all in. Wing abreast.

:rainbowdetermined2:: Yellow Quiet, this is Blue Fast. I am inbound now. You got about thirty seconds to party station. Get your critters back. This is gonna be a big one.


:yay:: You smell that? Do you smell that? Cordite, Trixie. Nothing else in Equestria smells like that. I love the smell of cordite in the evening. You know, one time we had an Everfree party for twelve hours...and when it was all over, I walked up. The smell, you know that gunpowder smell? The whole forest—smelled like...party.


And why did Ponyville even have a street named ‘Dark and Suspicious Alley’, anyway? Surely that was asking for trouble.

Zoning ordinances of course! This allows extra-legal ponies to legally make a living. If you are going to have crime, might as well make it organised!

id knda like to know what everyone else who bought fireworks did with em XD It would have also been Ironic had Twilight bought some

And why did Ponyville even have a street named ‘Dark and Suspicious Alley’, anyway?

Because Batman already owns the name Crime Alley.

This was a brilliant bit of insanity written on the fly.

The fact that the initials are 'BAMF' helps, I'm sure.

8895247 And that's how Ryo-Ohki was born

Fun read.
Would totaly read more of this.

Hay names Ace and I'm looking for a a vary brilliant and dazzlings firecracker named Trixie.

Lol sorry had to make the joke

“I’m sorry, Trixie, but fireworks have been banned within Ponyville limits ever since that horrific fire," Twilight said

"And yet you still allow your pet lizard to roam free," Trixie grumbled.

The Dragon Lord had Garble eat her that night and leave her head on Twilight's pillow as a warning not to disrespect the new Dragon Mafia.



“But the laws in Ponyville are so restrictive that it’s sometimes difficult to get what we need.

It's like New Jersey. For a while they were trying to even get sparkler's banned.

Yep, you could play with a blow torch... but sparklers?! FAR too dangerous! :facehoof:

Starlight stepped out from behind Trixie. “Girls, I’ve told you before. I won’t buy alcohol for you. I’m sorry, but it just wouldn't be right.”

Feh, we learned to make our OWN alcohol as kids! And we mostly didn't even go blind! :applejackconfused:

“What did I tell you? There are few ponies more repressed than in Ponyville. They're always looking to unwind.”

Some take it a bit too far... like that group that has a fascination with hydras and the things they can do with 4 mouths... :twilightoops:

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