Twilight Sparkle rules the world. After consideration, she implements a new law: all offenders must be given a chance at redemption, before executions can be carried out. Shortly afterwards, Twilight shuts down Tartarus, claiming it a waste of her resources and having played host to too many breakouts. Now the prisoners within are offered a chance to redeem themselves by attending the Friendship School.
In this Academy, they are given the chance to start over, the task is simple: Learn the values of friendship and graduate. But that is easier said than done. Honesty lessons with Applejack, where mistaking a variety of Apple could be the last thing you do. Fluttershy's care of creatures, where every week a new beast will be tended to in order to show Kindness, though instructions on their care should be carried out to the letter, lest you end up on their menu. In Rarity's class, one best hope Rarity is in a generous mood should you miss a stitch. Rainbow Dash will teach you loyalty through...questionable means. And Pinkie Pie well she'll do anything for a laugh, best hope you are not the joke though.
Chrysalis enrolls in the academy, and is desperate to start over. Will Rarity ever forgive her? will Starlight ever accept her? will she make new friends? or will she be just another casualty of the maximum security friendship school?
Wow.... Just wow😶. Really hoping this backfires on Twilight though 😂🤣
Ok, you have my full attention, this twisted version of Twilight is interesting and I want to know how Chrysalis will develop as a protagonist......will she surrender to Twilight and her indoctrination or will she reveal the secrets of this AU (like "Danganronpa" but without the murders....or maybe yes). This story seems a little similar to this one to me, but with a darker touch:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/317929/reform-school
I have a good feeling that the canon Mane Six will feel slightly disgusted by their dark versions and their hypocrisy to forced their "enemies" to change, or else freaking die.
So Rarity and Twilight is in a relationship?
.... How, when, and why? Also Changelings drinks BLOOD!? I THOUGHT THEY ATE LOVE!
Wow, this story gets darker and darker doesn't it?
Y'know, when I read the first part of this chapter and description, I thought you were gonna make Twilight into some kind of Tyrant, but apparently not only was I wrong, but the amount of mercy Twilight is showing Chrysalis after what she did is ASTONISHING to say the least.
So Twilight is in fact a Tyrant (kinda?) and killed her mentor and best friend who were the previous rulers of Equestria.
Yay....
Yeah I'm gonna be honest, if I had a libary for the darkest stories I read on this site, this story would be top 5.
I have a lot of questions about this AU, mostly about Twilight. What is Twilight's goal? To kill the sisters, take over Equestria, and then be a kind but strict ruler? Because that makes no sense to me. If this was real life, Chrysalis and Tyrek would litterly be sentenced to death and Cozy Glow would be sentenced to life in prison, the fact that they are even given a choice for redemption is astonishing.
Do all enemies of Equestria get a choice between Death or redemption or only the villains while everyday criminals are just put behind bars? Because I don't see anything wrong with that, Chrysalis litterly killed hundreds it sounds like, maybe even thousands.
Also, shutting down Tartarus has got to be the smartest thing Twilight has ever done, I'm surprised Celestia never considered it considering the amount of villains breakout of there and just start plotting another scheme to take over Equestria.
Well, I can't wait to read more, so far my biggest question is; is Twilight a Tyrant or not? Because "Tyrant" is described as "a cruel and oppressive ruler" and that doesn't describe what Twilight is in this story at all, so far the only bad thing Twilight has done was kill Celestia and Luna and that was before she became Queen.
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You took the time to write so much, it makes me happy how much you thought about it...so I'll respond, doing my best to avoid spoilers:
"So Rarity and Twilight is in a relationship?"
Yes, but so are the others. Not all that romantic, though Twilight is very "friendly" to get what she desires. You will see this tactic applied to other friends of hers as well. Twilight does however, love all her friends very much.
"Well, I can't wait to read more, so far my biggest question is; is Twilight a Tyrant or not?"
No. More like an iron-hoofed Matriarch. She is willing to give every creature a fair chance to better themselves. Since there are no cells, the prisoners either agree to the terms or well, why would she keep a waste of space around? Keep in mind, this is a dystopian world: neither evil nor good but tipping towards a darker grittier than canon version. Her ability to wield friendship as a weapon is unmatched, and she does so to a devastating effect to those who don't adhere to her laws. And Celestia and Luna were far from innocent.
"Do all enemies of Equestria get a choice between Death or redemption or only the villains while everyday criminals are just put behind bars?"
All offenders must be provided a chance at redemption before a judgement is passed. Depending on the crime that might mean paying the owed amount on something stolen as well as writing an apology, or re-training to be allowed in society at the friendship school. All crimes are considered in context not category. This is a revision of Celestia and Luna's own law...but more on that later.
"Wow, this story gets darker and darker doesn't it?"
yes ^^ hope you have a torch prepared. We're going in.
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You basically described a better justice system than any justice system on Earth.
This one line just made Twilight less evil.
Love the joke, though I'm afraid it's gotten so dark I'm gonna need a very bright torch.
This is my top 10 favorite version of Twilight I have ever came across on this site. Now that I know Twilight isn't as evil as the first chapter make her out to be, I'm very excited for the next chapter.
(Btw, i love your profile picture, I love robots especially robotic Alicorn's)
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It's a good dystopian AU, totally interesting. Personally, I am interested in knowing which parts of the series are canon in this story and which are not (as long as they are not spoilers).
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Bro..... Twilight literally has Celestia and Luna's severed heads in plain sight and right in the room where the "villains" have to say about their lives, I wouldn't call that a fair fate. Apart from that it is implied at a certain point that Twilight's friends not only respect and obey her... they are also afraid of her for simply disobeying her or "questioning" her decisions.
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Well that is bad, sure.
As for her friends for being afraid of her, I'm pretty sure everyone was afraid of Celestia in the show, always the constant bowing and the praises, in a few stories on this site she actually got really tired of it. Plus I don't think Twilight would do anything to her friends.
They get a chance at redemption, plus there's not really a difference between school and prison so...
Also I may have misunderstood what the Author said earlier. I thought that Everyone would have a chance at redemption at the school of friendship before JUDGEMENT was passed, like thieves would get put behind bars, murderers would get life sentences, and then ones like Chrysalis and Tyrek would get death sentences.
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This discussion is lovely but I think I should clarify something (minus spoilers):
There are no more prisons. A fair chance does not mean a fair choice. Criminals are judged on a context basis...meaning varying levels of redemption may be offered, but there is only one offer. Now criminals of Chrysalis's power level attend the school as do lower level ones....depending entirely on the severity. Otherwise, the offer may be anything from a sincere apology to manual labor. Should said offer be turned down...they no longer have a place in Twilight's world.
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Ya... That's the part I misunderstood.
Some guy just steals someone's purse and then Twilight just pops up in front of them saying "apologize, or die!".
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You'll be seeing many well-known villians...and some lesser-known ones, as well as anti-heroes from mlp. I have plans for a few canon events, spanning various generations of mlp franchises. Don't worry won't spoil any of them. Though no source will be offlimits...except 3.5 because...well, it doesn't exist clearly; so naturally I won't include it. Hope you are looking forward to it ^^
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not quite, but somewhat.
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Twilight: There are two different points of view, mine and the wrong one.
I can see myself in her dystopian school. I may be a villain but harming the innocent will “never” be acceptable. I’d probably be charged with something small like planning a a protest or even a meeting with her. And before anyone says that I’m crazy, I will have myself defenseless so if I’m killed, I’ll prove her wrong. I’d preach how corrupt that they are and insult their ways of teaching.
Psychopathic I know. But I’ll die for my ideas..
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That's cute...but it won't work.
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Oh I know it won’t work. Like I said, I’m psychopathic and willing to die for my beliefs. So if you do add a character into this story, due me a HUGE FAVOR, and make them sympathetic to both sides. So if/ when they die… it’s more gut wrenching for all
Well.....I remember a certain person saying:
"Now that I know Twilight isn't as evil as the first chapter makes her out to be"
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I think you should consider what you said after reading this:
Multiversal Invasion.....just in the second chapter.
Ok...I didn't expect that, I knew that Twilight had big plans but not "so big" as to consider invading to other parallel universes and I suppose conquering them or as she would say: "Showing them the true path of Harmony."
We just have to wait and see how far Twilight has come in her crusade for friendship...and I have a bad feeling about it. I look forward to any updates and seeing how Chrysalis develops as a protagonist.
Postscript: I leave a message to the author of this story, I don't know how this story ends BUT if in the end Twilight ends up winning and Chrysalis gives up......
pintzap.com/storage/img/memegenerator/templates/voy-a-tomarlo-pero-me-ofende-muchisimo.jpg
*I'm gonna read this, but I'm highly offended by it
And like that, I have many more questions.
What did she do with all of the dangerous monsters that were locked in there?
I know that this is a story starring Chrysalis and everything that that implies, but one would think that under the circumstances presented, Cozy Glow wouldn't need someone to tell her that something 'stinks' and that it is necessary to proceed with caution.
So Twilight is willing to kill anyone who doesn't want to be redeemed but basically turns completely 180 when they do choose to be redeemed. This isn't even a prison anymore, more like a juvenile detention center but for all ages.
Well this proves the fact that Twilight didn't manipulate her friends or force them to do anything they don't want it this is how they react around Twilight when she's more vulnerable.
Caused by Twilight or not? Because if it's caused by Twilight, then I'm rethinking about the whole manipulating her friends bit.
WAIT WHAT!?
Nightmare Rarity? Wait, is there a version of Nightmare Moon or Daybreaker somewhere there?
There it is.
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Ya I don't know what to say to that. Although if she has access to multiple parallel dimensions across the multiverse, couldn't she just turn an empty planet into some kind of jail redemption city? That seems way more easier to do, plus it would mean no killing. And she wouldn't have the excuse that jail cells take up space or whatever.
However, when I read the description of the story before reading the actual story, I actually assumed Twilight would be an evil Tyrant that would kill without mercy. After reading the first and second chapter and getting information from the Author, Twilight is still not as bad as I assumed her to be before reading the story.
I would appreciate it if you could not post entire sections of my chapters in the comments...it spoils it for all new readers especially since neither of you are using spoiler tags.
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"So Twilight is willing to kill anyone who doesn't want to be redeemed but basically turns completely 180 when they do choose to be redeemed. This isn't even a prison anymore, more like a juvenile detention center but for all ages."
Not even close. These three are special.
"Caused by Twilight or not? Because if it's caused by Twilight, then I'm rethinking about the whole manipulating her friends bit."
yes, it was. Just not the one you think.
"Nightmare Rarity? Wait, is there a version of Nightmare Moon or Daybreaker somewhere there?"
Very Peceptive.
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Twilight didn't start the invasion.
Well an interesting start. So many questions about what lead Twi to this point.
Well atleast there's still humor in this story, that's good.
You have GOT to be kidding me. Sunny? As in Sunny Starscout? What is SHE doing here?
I don't know how I feel right now, I hate G5, but this story takes place during G4, I don't know if I hate this or if I'm okay with this.
Well, atleast Chrysalis is improving, and is showing kindness along with empathy.
And Starlight is worst than Twilight, good to know. Don't piss her off.
Ok now just imagining what she now looks like, she's badass.
Agreed.
Wow, that is kinda creepy just imagining that.
Also if we see alternate timelines and universes of different characters, I would love to see different versions of Twilight, maybe a Seraphicorn version?
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Well as I said before:
And I do mean No source will be off-limits, including non-canon versions. Hope you are excited for it ^^
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What do you mean by “non-canon versions”? Are you talking about your OCs or even other people’s OCs?
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You'll have to wait and see.
LORE! So Celestia and Luna killed all non-ponies? Including Changelings, Dragons, Griffons, Yaks, Hippogriffs, ect?
One thing that surprises me is that Twilight rebelled against Celestia and Luna, Especially Celestia. I would have thought that no matter what she did, Twilight would never be able to fully see Celestia as "evil" or a "monster". Maybe Twilight didn't have a choice, maybe they were planning on killing Twilight?
Oh. Ok now that raises alot of other questions.
...So the Twilight that we seen from this dimension, wasn't born here? Wait so let me guess, Celestia and Luna probably killed Twilight, Twilight from another dimension decided to come to that dimension and kill the sister princesses.
Wait that's her mom?
I never thought I would hear that before.
Ok that's a little terrifying.
I'm so confused, so for my questions are when did the sister princesses kill all non-ponies, was it after or before Twilight was born? Is Twilight from that dimension dead and the Twilight that we see is from a different dimension? If all Changelings are dead, then how is Chrysalis alive? Was Tirek always evil? I'm also wondering what characters are from a different dimension, Nightmare Moon mentioned Daybreaker, are Nightmare Moon and Nightmare Rarity from the same dimension? Which dimension is Daybreaker from? Is Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon from the same dimension? If all non-ponies are dead, how smolder and spike alive? If Twilight did die, when did she die? If the Twilight we see is from a different dimension, when did she travel to that dimension? I have like 100 questions!
I'm also wondering if there's anything I misread and if there's the possibility I'm asking the wrong questions.
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You are asking ALL the right questions. Each and every question will be answered as the story progresses. And that's not me being cryptic. It will be spelled out for the reader. By the way, You got it, Queen Twilight is not our Twilight.
Moon and Daybreaker will be explained next chapter, Including Rarity's relationship to them.
So far, Chrysalis's dimension is unknown (to be explained) Smolder and Spike (you'll see him later on) and Current Tirek, Cozy Glow same dimension. Sunny, Izzy a time leap (explained later on) Rainbine, and Brutalight- Elements of Insanity Dimension (yes, they have actual appearances planned.) Sadistic Starlight, Queen Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, RD, and Fluttershy same dimension but not known which one yet. NM and Daybreaker same dimension. NMR her own dimension.
Explaining more than this will ruin the plot, so I hope this helps until next chapter is released. It will take a few chapters to explain all your questions, but you ARE asking the right ones ^^ I just ask you be a little patient and await the coming chapters.
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Thank you, I'm less confused now.
We've got G5 ponies in this place now? I wonder if some version of Opaline is in there somewhere.
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Could be.
Ok well that's interesting.
Ok hold on. So... Nightmare Rarity is the daughter of Daybreaker?
... What?
Knew it.
Ah. So not daughter litterly.
That sounds familiar and I think I know why. I believe it's another alternate version of Twilight.
Yup, found it: derpicdn.net/img/2024/1/8/3276755/large.png
There's not a lot of good Rainbine art so this is a good one I found: derpicdn.net/img/2023/1/20/3029901/large.png
Also if Queen Twilight came in after Twilight was killed by the Alicorn sisters, doesn't that mean if Twilight didn't do anything she would still be alive? Yeah, that's awful to think about. But I do find it ironic that in the end, it was a Twilight Sparkle that defeated them.
I wonder if we'll see other Twilight AU's like Scissor Twilight.
Is the Brutalight- Elements of Insanity Dimension part of another story you’ve written?
Why do I love this exchange so much?
Wait, centuries? I thought this was a recent thing starting from a couple years ago or something.
Well that's interesting.
Also there's no space between "face." And "The".
.... So I have questions.
Mmmmm...
... Yeah, if you ever get saved and just metaphorically stab your savior in the back, you honestly deserve to die.
Im guessing it's because in most of the universes where the alicorn sisters find the elements of harmony, it's Luna who bears Honesty, hence why Twilight thought Nightmare Luna was Applejack for a second. Luna in this universe or timeline probably would have beared honesty but they either never found the elements of harmony or they don't exist or when they did find them they couldn't wield them because of the Nightmare's.
The ponies she is describing sounds like her friends. Are they the mothers of her friends?
We don't know what happened to her world.
Nightmare Celestia and Nightmare Luna are my 2nd and 3rd favorite.
Wouldn't be surprised.
Is there a reference to what Twilight looks like? I would like to know.
Ummm. This concerns me because she said they were vampiric and from what I've heard, vampires tend to lose there minds at night which if what im implying is true, Twilight probably killed Innocents....
I have more questions. Did she merge minds with her friends?
[quote]“I owe you two an explanation. My magic isn't mine. Or just mine, that is. It is the culmination of billions of others; their abilities, their talents. It’s not on purpose and yet- Ugh. Applejack always said friendship began with honesty. So maybe I should start at the beginning. This may take a while…bear with me-”So basically she is an incarnate of magic? Universal incarnate or is she a multiversal incarnate?
The description of Queen Twilight is very interesting and im getting some interesting ideas for Twilight im writing in one of my stories.
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The Elements of Insanity(series)- By The Inverted Shadow on Youtube is the inspiration for Brutalight's world. Highly recommend it.
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<3
It's a very relatable one for many, though probably not in that particular context.
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I'm afraid Queen Twilight is my own creation, and the words are (currently) the only picture you can see of her; though I do try to be descriptive enough for you to imagine it. I am glad you seem to be enjoying the story. But answers (at least some will have to wait until January, wanted to get out the origins of Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon as well as tease Queen Twilight's for Christmas (Hearth's Warming) as a gift to my readers. Hope you enjoyed the mega chapter surprise ^^
"whatever will be, will be".
Ehhh, I disagree. Pretty sure Velvet would act similarly if her daughter was the one who needed help.