Just a simple man with a simple job...
Well that last part is a lie, my job might seem simple, but it any thing but; that's the life of a nuclear physicist. Most of the time the job is boring since it is the same thing day in and day out, each shift wearing down on my brain little by little. One day a malfunction occurs that will change my life forever, will I adjust?
Editor: Penalt
Shoutout to Door Belle and Damaged for their contributions
Damaged’s Discord server (must be 18 or older): https://discord.gg/Un74ceq
Chapters (8)
Can't wait until next chapter and see what happen
Definitely decidedly different. Watching with interest.
A great, intriguing idea, but it was rushed as all hell. Stuff like this should take 7k words to get me into it.
Btw can I use this suit pony idea for a fic?
8077865 yeah you can use it
8077806
I have to type when i'm not working so my chapters are gonna feel rushed
Nice idea but a little bit rushed but,
I track that and hope for the best
huh...
interesting idea
I feel like everyone was too quick to condemn this guy, and he was too quick to accept it as well. Still interested though.
His manager is a dick. This is interesting
This is... interesting.
It's kinda standing on shaky ground,
Experimental plant in a tornado zone? Check.
No safe way to shut down? Check.
Let's sacrfice one guy insetad of all working for a solution? Check.
Sentient rubber pony suit fusing with a human to save him? Check.
Wait what?
Well at least I can't say it's unoriginal or uninteresting. It's just so weird...
The concept interests me. But I personally think you couldve stretched this one chapter into three or more with additional detail
8078312 well considering radiation suits can only hold back so much damage and the fact the tornado seemingly hit the plant directly. Shut down or not high dose of radiation possible. but still good story so far.
Well then....
Ye. This goes in my weird folder of interest.
Hmmm, satin-sentient?
Entertaining, wish to read more.
This definitely seems rushed and needs some fixes. I'm not really sure what to expect with this one. I'll track it and see where it goes, but you should probably take a bit more care with writing future chapters.
following this one...
just don't forget to apply the tags and you may get more readers
8081401
what tag to use here besides random?
8081464 human and comedy/adventure/drama (or whatever is the category of your fic)
Depending on how you take this concept, I can see this being an absolutely delightful story...or an abomination.
I really hope it's the former and not the latter, because I'm genuinely intrigued and want this to be good.
Having said that, a little touch-up editing (both in the pacing and the wording) would be a benefit to the quality. ^_^
Adding to my watch list.
Huh. SFW fetish fuel. Reminds me of Totally Spies.
Interesting, a few repetitive lines here and there, and a couple places were some streamlining would be welcome, but I didnt feel lost or felt like i was missing something
Incapacitated
double negative.
You mean like a... Solar Flare?
liquefying
assured
parasitic
Reminds me of one of the episodes of Men In Black: The Animated Series.
gripping
A cloud bank, perhaps?
that
and be forgotten
8094797
there is a difference between a Solar Flare and a CME
And I fixed those errors
I would get angry, but I wouldn't use the sun to fire a magical blast of energy that can cause dimensional travel.
8095424
8104051
oh so you two would do that to Celestia?!?! Let me know how that turns out because that is basically what Pinkie did
8104203 you seem to misunderstand. If I was in Celestia's position, are my earlier comment for what I would do.
the only thing i can think of is DAAAAMMMMMMNNN
So....She was always a freakin’ radiation suit? WUT. Also, you sent a lot of mixed signals about what happens after the 4 days. Do either of their consciousnesses disappear? At one point you made it sound like she automatically eats him, another it sounds like he takes her place as “Suit-Pon.” What the hay is happening here??
8216359
got to stay along for the ride
8216514
Dude....really? Were the mixed signals purposeful? Are you saying it will be explained in future chapters or are you just blowing me off?
8218766
The mixed signals were on purpose, I am not the kind of person to blow anyone off
8219150
Sorry if that offended you. That wasn’t my intent. I was just getting a little frustrated.
Okay. Good to hear!
Here's an issue right off the bat. This is a very large paragraph verging on a wall of text. You could easily cut it in half to make it a bit easier on the eyes.
To your credit, you start off with a bit of action, but I don't feel really drawn into scene at all. I don't get a whole lot of sensory description, of what the room is like, the taste of the air, the smells, the temp, the people's appearances. I'm getting names of people that I have little to no context for. Perhaps later after introductions and setting the scene it would work, but as is I'm a bit more confused trying to follow along.
Overall, I found the latter half of this chapter more interesting with the first. Getting to meet the suit pon, a little description, and having an idea of what's going on at this point.
One thing I will note is this is a bit too much wall of text for my tastes. It can be a little difficult to read, and straining on the eyes.
8226375
the "Great Wall of Text" is something I'm trying to improve on avoiding
Things are about to get royally interesting.
Did it really take them 15 minutes to think 9 sentences?
Anyway, you are missing a period at the end.
Nice! I was worried, not because of the long wait, but that and I didn't know how much you had really planned out. I know from personal experience it's easy to think of an awesome idea, but not be able to follow through with an entire story.
But this just got a lot more interesting.
8227715
how so?
8227722
Well, it isn't simply, "Human finds himself in a situation and must get out of it" or "Other humans freak out," but rather, it has many different complex elements that were revealed in this chapter. That is uncommon for a fic that seemed a bit random or spur-of-the-moment.
In the last chapter, it seemed like you were just doing a "race against time" thing, but you both developed the human characters, and introduced an Equestrian element that I did not expect.
The new developments imply a lot of interesting things. Especially Luna.
Tammilya kind of a dick
Also, I see what you did there.
OK calling horseapples on this. Pinkie ate Celestia's cake in the show and sun horse barely even batted an eye. I think this might have been a case of Pinkie ate Celestia's cake again despite numerous security measures in place to prevent this from happening.
8095424
Pretty sure that causing a solar flare was an accident. If it was intentional, the dome would have been unmolested, and Pinkie Pie would have been the first pony in history to ever get a tan.
8227779
eat the cake too many times and you get burned
Well that was... oddly anticlimactic. Do most nuclear facilities have electrified stun nets?
oh i like where this is going but why didnt they get him out of the suit i thought it could only be opened by a 3rd source?
8228538
as Tammilya explained in chapter two, only Celestia can open the suit
8228642
right been awhile since i read the story but over all that seems like a very poor safety feature i mean only one person can open a suit that can eat you for lack of a better word
As a meteorologist, I have questions...
Nah, I know it's fiction. :P
8227944
This is how I see it:
The creator/narrator's word is law, as they are the one controlling the story. Therefore, the creator is God, and if God wills it, it shall be so.
oddly sexual....
Wow. That was deep.