• Member Since 7th Oct, 2016
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Sandstorm94



T
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Just a simple man with a simple job...

Well that last part is a lie, my job might seem simple, but it any thing but; that's the life of a nuclear physicist. Most of the time the job is boring since it is the same thing day in and day out, each shift wearing down on my brain little by little. One day a malfunction occurs that will change my life forever, will I adjust?

Editor: Penalt

Shoutout to Door Belle and Damaged for their contributions

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 66 )

Can't wait until next chapter and see what happen

Definitely decidedly different. Watching with interest.

A great, intriguing idea, but it was rushed as all hell. Stuff like this should take 7k words to get me into it.

Btw can I use this suit pony idea for a fic?

8077865 yeah you can use it


8077806

I have to type when i'm not working so my chapters are gonna feel rushed

Nice idea but a little bit rushed but,
I track that and hope for the best

I feel like everyone was too quick to condemn this guy, and he was too quick to accept it as well. Still interested though.

His manager is a dick. This is interesting

It's kinda standing on shaky ground,

Experimental plant in a tornado zone? Check.
No safe way to shut down? Check.
Let's sacrfice one guy insetad of all working for a solution? Check.

Sentient rubber pony suit fusing with a human to save him? Check.
Wait what?

Well at least I can't say it's unoriginal or uninteresting. It's just so weird...

The concept interests me. But I personally think you couldve stretched this one chapter into three or more with additional detail

8078312 well considering radiation suits can only hold back so much damage and the fact the tornado seemingly hit the plant directly. Shut down or not high dose of radiation possible. but still good story so far.

8

Ye. This goes in my weird folder of interest.


I decided not to question this satient suit's

Hmmm, satin-sentient?

Entertaining, wish to read more.

This definitely seems rushed and needs some fixes. I'm not really sure what to expect with this one. I'll track it and see where it goes, but you should probably take a bit more care with writing future chapters.

following this one...
just don't forget to apply the tags and you may get more readers

8081401

what tag to use here besides random?

8081464 human and comedy/adventure/drama (or whatever is the category of your fic)

Depending on how you take this concept, I can see this being an absolutely delightful story...or an abomination.

I really hope it's the former and not the latter, because I'm genuinely intrigued and want this to be good.

Having said that, a little touch-up editing (both in the pacing and the wording) would be a benefit to the quality. ^_^

Adding to my watch list.

Huh. SFW fetish fuel. Reminds me of Totally Spies.

Interesting, a few repetitive lines here and there, and a couple places were some streamlining would be welcome, but I didnt feel lost or felt like i was missing something

You see, the citizens are known to be thrown into a panic on what seems like a weekly basis over the littlest issues, so if she is incompasitated the magic stored in the Sol Dome will keep the sun moving like normal until she returns to her full strength..."

Incapacitated

"Kinda, and I will get to that shortly if you don't quit interrupting me..."

double negative.

"So like a Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun here, a major one can knockout electronics if it is big enough.

You mean like a... Solar Flare? :rainbowhuh:

Instead of liquidfying me like a thought it would

liquefying

but each time they were overlooked because they asurred me that everything was safe.

assured

However I hope we can find a way back soon, otherwise you won't get out...you will literally become me. The reason that is the case is because I was only designed to handle the fallout of such an event for four days, after that I need to live so the pony inside, or in this case you, slowly becomes fused to my form. Right now we are having a "service-service" mutualistic arrangement but it would become a paracidic form of "service-resource" beyond that four day window."

parasitic
Reminds me of one of the episodes of Men In Black: The Animated Series.

"And what happens after 24 hours?"
"Two become... one?"

Panic was evident in her tone, griping her like a slow acting venom.

gripping

just as oxygen is a fire's fuel source, tornadoes need cloudy us bank to move along

A cloud bank, perhaps?

hat was the point the hit my soul and sent an icy cold chill up my spine, if I could never return, her grave would fall away to obscurity and forgotten to the winds of time.

that
and be forgotten

8094797

there is a difference between a Solar Flare and a CME


And I fixed those errors

if somepony came into your house uninvited, ate your food, and then told you to your face "the market has got more" then left how would you feel?" I didn't say a word, regretting what I had initially said so Tammilya continued her story. "That's what I thought,

I would get angry, but I wouldn't use the sun to fire a magical blast of energy that can cause dimensional travel.

8095424
8104051

oh so you two would do that to Celestia?!?! Let me know how that turns out because that is basically what Pinkie did

8104203 i meant that yeah i would get mad but i wouldnt destroy stuff (its high noon)

8104203 you seem to misunderstand. If I was in Celestia's position, are my earlier comment for what I would do.

the only thing i can think of is DAAAAMMMMMMNNN

So....She was always a freakin’ radiation suit? WUT. Also, you sent a lot of mixed signals about what happens after the 4 days. Do either of their consciousnesses disappear? At one point you made it sound like she automatically eats him, another it sounds like he takes her place as “Suit-Pon.” What the hay is happening here?? :rainbowhuh:

8216359

got to stay along for the ride

8216514
Dude....really? Were the mixed signals purposeful? Are you saying it will be explained in future chapters or are you just blowing me off?

8218766

The mixed signals were on purpose, I am not the kind of person to blow anyone off

8219150
Okay. Good to hear! :twilightsmile: Sorry if that offended you. That wasn’t my intent. I was just getting a little frustrated.

The sound of the clock wore down my tired brain, for it had once again been a long shift at the Airtseuqe Nuclear Plant. As for myself, since I am a Nuclear Physicist, I could not wait to get home and take a break from doing countless double, triple, and quadruple checks on everything to make sure that the fuel rods did not form an unexpected chain reaction. I had followed every safety precaution, including taking a double sanitation shower, to make sure I was fully clean and free of any stray traces of uranium. Seeing as my work was wrapped up and my sore feet were screaming bloody murder, I went to the break area and turned on the television. The first thing that came across made me jump up and head straight for the control room, there was a tornado warning issued for the area. The very fact that the National Weather Service had put out a tornado warning for us it meant they expected something bad enough that could damage the plant. The facility might be a new, state-of-the-art design but if daily playing with a glowing ball of radioactive death had taught me anything it was that there is nothing that man can build that nature can't rip apart. "Everyone start shutting down the power!" I shouted in a panic as I entered the room.

Here's an issue right off the bat. This is a very large paragraph verging on a wall of text. You could easily cut it in half to make it a bit easier on the eyes.

"Why would we do that Jim?" Jackson, the plant manager, asked me as he looked up from his station as he started on his fourth cup of coffee that was so thick and dark it would put tar to shame.

To your credit, you start off with a bit of action, but I don't feel really drawn into scene at all. I don't get a whole lot of sensory description, of what the room is like, the taste of the air, the smells, the temp, the people's appearances. I'm getting names of people that I have little to no context for. Perhaps later after introductions and setting the scene it would work, but as is I'm a bit more confused trying to follow along.

Overall, I found the latter half of this chapter more interesting with the first. Getting to meet the suit pon, a little description, and having an idea of what's going on at this point.

One thing I will note is this is a bit too much wall of text for my tastes. It can be a little difficult to read, and straining on the eyes.

8226375
the "Great Wall of Text" is something I'm trying to improve on avoiding

Things are about to get royally interesting.

ou have been kinda spaced out the last 15 minutes..

Did it really take them 15 minutes to think 9 sentences?
Anyway, you are missing a period at the end.

Nice! I was worried, not because of the long wait, but that and I didn't know how much you had really planned out. I know from personal experience it's easy to think of an awesome idea, but not be able to follow through with an entire story.

But this just got a lot more interesting.

8227722

Well, it isn't simply, "Human finds himself in a situation and must get out of it" or "Other humans freak out," but rather, it has many different complex elements that were revealed in this chapter. That is uncommon for a fic that seemed a bit random or spur-of-the-moment.

In the last chapter, it seemed like you were just doing a "race against time" thing, but you both developed the human characters, and introduced an Equestrian element that I did not expect.

The new developments imply a lot of interesting things. Especially Luna.

"I know that is what you are doing, that is why I'm trying to be patient but it is starting to wear thin.

Tammilya kind of a dick :trixieshiftright:

Also, I see what you did there. :trixieshiftleft:

got mad that a certain pink pony that I will talk to you about later ate her royal daily midday cake; her anger flared and a powerful blast of magic energized and shot from her sun and hit the dome."

OK calling horseapples on this. Pinkie ate Celestia's cake in the show and sun horse barely even batted an eye. I think this might have been a case of Pinkie ate Celestia's cake again despite numerous security measures in place to prevent this from happening.

8095424

Pretty sure that causing a solar flare was an accident. If it was intentional, the dome would have been unmolested, and Pinkie Pie would have been the first pony in history to ever get a tan.

8227779
eat the cake too many times and you get burned

Well that was... oddly anticlimactic. Do most nuclear facilities have electrified stun nets?

oh i like where this is going but why didnt they get him out of the suit i thought it could only be opened by a 3rd source?

8228538
as Tammilya explained in chapter two, only Celestia can open the suit

8228642
right been awhile since i read the story but over all that seems like a very poor safety feature i mean only one person can open a suit that can eat you for lack of a better word

As a meteorologist, I have questions...
Nah, I know it's fiction. :P

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