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// A Heated Exchange and a Visit to the Seamstress 
// Story: My Life as a Suit Pon 
// by Prismfire Productions 
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I had been overjoyed when I emerged through the portal, eager to get started on the next chapter of my life, but I knew several things had to be taken care of first. Me and Tammilya were very close to being fused, I could practically feel my body starting to ripple as it got ready to change into Tammilya’s organs.

“Please hurry, princesses,” I said while gritting my teeth, trying to force the change to be postponed long enough for me and Tammilya to be separated. “The process is going to start soon.”

All three alicorns exchanged a nervous glance before charging up the spell. At first, it seemed like nothing was happening, then a wave of pain hit that sent me and Tammilya to the ground. It felt like my organs were trying to bust out through my skin, only difference being they were trying to take my brain with it.

I could hear Tammilya crying out in shared pain through our mutual mindscape, and I did my best to comfort her while the separation process was taking place and we both closed our eyes in an attempt to block out the pain. During my down time, on the rare occasion I had a break between shifts, I had seen every Alien movie ever made, and I now realized this must be what it felt like for both Kane and the chestburster in the 1979 version of the film. Our bodies felt like flowing putty, liquified atom by atom, the pain reaching another peak as we lost all control of our senses but the pain remained.

Finally, after what felt like two eternities, the pain dulled and subsided. I opened my eyes and I could not believe what I saw; Tammilya was now a real pony, and she was laying in my lap with my hands firmly pressed against her back above her wings.

“Tammilya,” I softly whispered into my wife’s ear, nipping it to cause it to flick. “open your eyes dear, it's over.”

My wife's eyes shot open at my statement, staring into mine with an overwhelming look of joy as she nuzzled my neck. “At last my love, we can physically embrace each other, and not just in our minds. I love you Jim, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you too Tammilya.” I said before kissing her on the lips, earning a “d’awwww” from the ponies that were with us, but I didn't care. For the first time since my mother died I was in a state of bliss, and I felt that nothing could possibly ruin my mood, but Murphy must have been listening to my thoughts.

“What the hell is this shit?!” Jackson exclaimed, shattering my mood and making us all aware that the portal was still open. Me and Tammilya jumped, my fists clenching as my wife got into a warning pose with her head lowered and wings flared. “Alright Jim, since you are free of that… thing you can come back and resume normal duties.”

“I'm not going back Jackson,” I said with a small snarl, and I could swear it felt as if my hair was lengthening. “as of now I formally quit.”

“You can't be serious,” Jackson said, shaking his head in disbelief. “why would you give up everything you have waiting for you back on Earth? Here you have nothing, an outcast, someone who will probably have to sleep on the same grass these horses take a shit on.”

“Ew!” Everypony said with a vile, repulsive look before Twilight spoke up. “We do have indoor plumbing for Faust sake, what gave you the idea that we used the bathroom outside?”

“Because you are all horses and horses use it outside.” Jackson said in a defensive tone while crossing his arms, as a crowd of townsponies starting to gather behind us, with the rest of my coworkers looking on from their side of the portal. “Only thing horses are good for are riding, racing, making manure, being turned into glue when they die, and in some extreme situations, eaten.”

“First of all, we are ponies, not horses.” Luna said, in as calm of a tone as she could muster, but still with enough bite to cause everyone but Jackson to flinch as she approached him. “Secondly, I do not know what sort of breeds are on your planet, but here the things you speak of are forbidden under the Geneighva Covenant enacted 274 years ago. Apologize for your harshness and return to the place whence you came, and there will be no issue.”

“I am not leaving without my employee, you horse,” Jackson said getting nose-to-muzzle with Luna, Robert having to run through the portal to try and drag my former boss back. “and I don't give a damn about titles or what not. I am a human, you are an animal, so I have a higher authority than you do. I'm sure that if I sold you to the government I could become a rich man.”

“You got hay in your ears?” Tammilya asked while approaching him, her temperament that of a cornered rattlesnake with its’ rattle shaking like a maraca in a mariachi band. “He said he quit, he said he is staying here, and if you don't get out of Princess Luna’s face you are gonna wish you were never born.”

“You think some kind of fancy light show is going to make me back down? Not a chance in hell!”” Jackson said turning red in the face, then he made his biggest mistake yet. In an attempt to get to me, he shrugged off Robert, pushed Luna out the way, and kicked Tammilya hard enough to bruise her side. The moment he grabbed my arm, a golden hue ensnared him.

“You have no idea what you just did… do you?” Celestia was mad, and she didn't bother to hide it in her tone. That, and the fact the air was starting to have a heat shimmer around her body, being enough of a hint that made the crowd go quiet. “You not only injured one of my little ponies, you had enough bravado to push aside my sister.”

“Do you think I care?”  Jackson said with a snarl, flailing in Celestia's grip like a Magikarp on my old Pokémon game. “And let me go you stupid animal!”

“I can tell you don't care,” Celestia said, as her anger at Jackson chilled everyone like a storm moving in front of the sun.  A sensation of dread came over me as my former boss was locked in place by the sheer force of Celestia's personality, and I realized in that moment why one of the Sun Princess' titles Tammilya had told me about was ‘Celestia the Coronal Fire’. “But here you are to obey our laws, and it just so happens Luna and I are the law. You are far from the first human I've dealt with. A thousand years of existence has given me ample time to meet your kind. Most were tolerable and able to return home safely. Some, like the pegasus hero Azalea Braveheart, chose to start over. Then there were the select few who I would banish to Tartarus if they were ponies. You, Jackson, fall into that last category, and make a run for being one of the most despicable humans I have ever met.”

“Azalea Braveheart…” I said, running the name over my tongue a few times, then it hit me like a freight train why that name seemed familiar. “By chance, was her name Amelia Earhart when she was human?”

“Indeed it was,” Celestia said, with an accompanying nod, stunning me and the reactor workers into silence. “and it will be my pleasure to talk to you more about her later, but let’s focus on the situation at hoof for now. As I was saying, I have no choice but to punish Jackson since he committed Lèse-majesté. Now, the normal sentence is imprisonment in the dungeon, but this situation requires something different while at the same time teaching you a lesson and breaking your massive ego.”

“Let me go, or I will bring down the full wrath of the United States government down upon you.” Jackson snarled, and if it wasn't for the fact he was being held in place he would have punched the Princess of the Sun. “You are holding me here against my will, and used mind control to brainwash Jim into staying here in hallucination land.”

Celestia slightly shook her head, clearly getting annoyed and running out of patience. “Are you really that jaded or just plain stupid, because what is your government going to do? Once Twilight closes the portal there will be no trace of it, as if it was never there to begin with. You would be seen as senile and lose everything you have, all thanks to some satient ponies in a magical world. Face it, you know you can't win, but refuse to admit it because you don't want to be seen as weak. I got news for you… no being is perfect, not even myself, and if you consider yourself perfect, then you care about no one but yourself. Jim wants to stay here of his own free will, and you must respect that choice, and I am sure you could find a worthy replacement.”

“That will take time, and time is money.” Jackson said, while trying to relax his composure. “Being short handed will dearly cost the plant time and resources, plus I would have to file a report as to why he up and left.”

“Come on Jackson,” Stephanie said walking over to join us, giving a respectful nod to Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. “it is clear that Jim has made up his mind. I say you come on back and start looking for a replacement. Besides look at him, when was the last time you seen him this happy?”

Since he could not turn his head, Jackson cut his eyes over to me to see what I was doing, and the sight made him pause. I was laying on the grass with Tammilya's back against my stomach, her wings sprawled out to the side as I rubbed her belly with my right hand. The purring and humming coming from her muzzle was both cute and adorable, both of us not caring that we had an audience watching.

My eyes shone brighter than ever before, filled with joy and a sense of calm that I never thought was possible. A nuclear bomb, ironically, could have landed next to me and I wouldn't care or notice. Jackson noticed this, his complexion slowly relaxed as he remained suspended in Celestia's magic grip.

“How are you going to adjust?” Jackson asked, in a calm tone that broke the silence, causing both me and Tammilya to look at him. “You will be a human among these ponies, that doesn't seem like the ideal scenario to start over with.”

“Oh don’t you worry about that.” I said with a grin before looking towards Princess Luna. “In fact, would you please do the honors, Your Highness?”

Luna gave me a smile before lighting her horn, and for the first time I decided to pay attention to the transformation. A warm feeling enveloped me, like a fuzzy heating blanket, as my coat grew in and my hair lengthened and turned into a mane. I could feel my skeleton starting to shift and rearrange, but it was painless, no doubt being from Luna’s magic that was preventing my body from feeling like it was being deatomized then put back together.

Now in a quadrupedal position, I knew what the next change was going to be, the tugging between my shoulder blades and at the base of my spine confirming my thoughts as my wings and tail emerged. A tingling spread to my fingers, the digits flexing and going numb as they curled into a fist, my flesh rippling and fusing them together as my fingernails combined and hardened to complete my forehooves. My nose twitched, pushing out into a muzzle as my feet became my forehooves, and my eyes reshaped to those of a pony to complete the change.

“I believe I will have no trouble fitting in,” I said, as I chuckled at Jackson and the other crew members’ reactions, and off in the distance I could see an aquamarine unicorn being held back by the crowd. “me and my wife can now officially start our future together, and hopefully have a foal later on down the road. To be honest, this is a change that I needed because I haven't been happy since my mother died. Day in and day out, I did the same duty, each equation coming to the same answer. It wore me down, boredom often hitting to the point I used to come up with equations just to see what the end result would be, trying to find a flaw in a perfect equilibrium. Of course, it always came back stable, and I am surprised I didn't lose my sanity from the constant wearing down on my psyche. However, now I can take back control of my life, with a new adventure and a destiny that I look forward to.”

“So is this goodbye?” Stephanie asked as she started to pet my mane, making me hum. “I'm sure that each of us will miss you, even if Jackson has too big of an ego to admit it.”

“I’m right here you know,” Jackson said, with an annoyed glare directed at Stephanie, but soon dropped it and sighed when he looked back at me. “Steph is right though, you really were a valuable asset to the team and I will hate not having you on board.”

“It is not goodbye,” I said in a level tone, shocking everyone around me. “it will just be until next time. I am sure that if I choose to visit, one of the princesses will gladly open the portal to allow me to return. Besides, I am going to want you to meet my foals after they are born.”

“Splendid,” Jackson said with a forced smile before steeling his glare at Celestia. “now can you please let me go?”

“Not yet,” Celestia said with a tsk while shaking her head. “You still need to face your punishment, and I just had a good one come to mind to teach you a lesson in humility.”

Jackson’s body suddenly tensed, as if every muscle in his body was spasming at the same time. I knew what was happening, based on the fact that a fine emerald green coat had started to spread over his body, a smirk forming as his hair billowed out into a lovely sky blue mane.

“What are you doing to me?!” Jackson shrieked, covering his mouth when he realized that his voice sounded a few octaves higher than normal. His nose then twitched before pushing out to form his muzzle, but it was rounded instead of squared. “I demand an answer!”

“Simple really,” Celestia said with a snug look on her face, Jackson's body starting to look more like an Earth Pony. “Your punishment is to spend the next three months on Sweet Apple Acres as a farmhoof, they need extra help since it is harvest season, and since their normal help is quarantined with a nasty case of the ponypox you will have to be the substitute.”

“But what about my voice?” Jackson practically squeaked, clamping his hindlegs together when his clothes fell off him. That is when he felt something else happening, feeling two mounds of flesh grow under his forehooves, while his pride and joy started to shrivel and shrink. “Wait, no! Please don't be what I think it is!”

“Rest assured it is, Emerald Breeze,” Celestia said in a flat monotone as Jackson's changes finished. “You showed total disrespect to my sister, and injured Tammilya, so you are to spend the length of your punishment as a mare. No doubt your reactor would cause a lot of problems if left unattended, much like my Spectral Collection Plants, but there is no need to be concerned. Discord can simply make the three months here seem like three seconds back on your planet. Now, Twilight will lead you to Sweet Apple Acres, the sooner you start the sooner you finish.”

“You haven't heard the last out of me!” Jackson, now Emerald, said as she was carried away by Twilight.

“Well that was something,” Celestia said with a sigh once a sense of peace was restored. A calm, welcoming mask adorned here face as she made her way over to the rest of the reactor crew. “and I apologise for my behavior, I normally don't lash out like that but he was working on my last nerve. So, since Discord is going to put that time effect in place, you are welcome to visit and take a tour around Equestria if you wish.”

I simply watched and waited, and I could see a full range of emotions from uncertainty to hidden excitement cascade across their faces. Before they could answer, however, an aquamarine blur tackled Stephanie to the ground. The blur turned out to be a unicorn mare with a pale cyan mane that had white streaks mixed in.

“Humans!” The unicorn exclaimed, gently levitating Stephanie’s hand in her magic, and putting her nose to it. “I knew you were real! Everypony said I was crazy, or needed to be put in a mental institution, but I was right all along! Also, these hands are soooooo fascinating, I must study them!”

“That is enough Lyra,” Celestia said with a slight glare, enough edge in her voice to make the mare get off Stephanie and let her go. “I am sure that they would be delighted to answer any questions you have, but of course you must ask for permission and do it nicely. In addition, you owe her an apology for the way you presented yourself.”

“Sorry,” Lyra said as she looked at the ground in shame. “I got a bit carried away. It's just that for so long I have been the subject of so many jokes because of my obsession. I hope you can forgive me for what I have done, and can teach me more about your species.”

“All’s forgiven,” Stephanie said with a small chuckle as she stroked Lyra’s mane, earning a purr from the mare. “and seeing as we got three months, I will do my best to answer what you want to know. However, I must warn you that human history is very dark, and you might be horrified by some of the things I tell you.”

“Can't be worse than what happened in our past,” Luna said with a shrug, her tone an unnerving calm. “Considering I was possessed by an evil specter for a millenia, had an era where Chaos reigned, and had a demonic centaur steal everypony’s magic. That's just since me and Tia took the throne, and doesn't include the Tribal War or the Yakyakistan Blitzkrieg that happened before ascending.”

“Two world wars, including nuclear weapons and a cultural genocide in the second one, leader assassinations, numerous mini skirmishes, famine, plagues, and an arms race.” Stephanie replied in a flat tone, her face unreadable as Celestia and Luna shuddered. “That is just the major things, and there is no such thing as peace.”

“That’s-” Luna’s rebuttal died in her throat, unable to think of anything worse that had occurred in Equestria history. “That's unfortunate, but rest assured that Equestria is peaceful most of the time, so I hope you all will enjoy your stay.”

“As for you Jim,” Tammilya said as she nuzzled my cheek. “we have to get you fitted for your tux. Luckily, since I have visited Ponyville before, I know that the best seamstress in Equestria is right here in town so let's go get this over with.”

Before I could even blink, Tammilya was pulling me along, heading towards one of the nearby shops as the crowd went to talk with the other reactor workers. We eventually arrived at one of the shops, the very look of it showing that it was meant to be a place of fashion as she led me inside.

“Rarity, are you free?” Tammilya called out into the seemingly empty shop, dresses and suits of varying designs and color combinations were laid about in different stages of production. “I got somepony here who needs a tux made.”

“Tammilya, is that you darling?” A female voice with a little bit of a French accent called out, and soon a snow white unicorn with a purple mane and tail entered the room. Her gait was deliberately slow, as if she was trying to present an air of high class manners, while also drawing attention to her well formed hips. “My, I haven't seen you in a long time! Dear Rarity needed a break from having so many orders, she is so stressed these days because of her fashion empire taking off, so I decided to take over so she could rest.”

“My apologies Val,” Tammilya said in an apologetic tone, a small hint of embarrassment in the form of a blush showing on her face. “it is hard to tell you two apart, and the fact I haven't seen you in so long…”

“Don't worry about it Tammy,” Val said while raising her hoof in dismissal. “all's forgiven. So, what special occasion has happened for your friend here to require a tux, a ball or wedding perhaps?”

“Wedding actually,” Tammila said with a smile,” ours to be specific.”

“Oh congrats!” Val said giving Tammilya a hug before turning to me and offering her hoof. “And I sincerely do apologize darling, I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Valiente, but my friends call me Val for short, and I can guarantee that your tux will well represent yourself and bring out your form perfectly.”

“Pleasure to meet you as well,” I said shaking her hoof. “and if Tammilya says you are good I trust her word. So, shall we begin?”

“Follow me darling,” Val said as she turned and headed for the measuring room with me and Tammilya in tow. Once there, she used her magic to secure a soft velvet ribbon around her curves and torso as she had me stand in front of the mirror. “Do you have any specific color scheme or design in mind?”

“Not at all,” I replied with a slightly confused tone at Val’s use of the ribbon while she started to measure my shoulders. “Perhaps go with something traditional but compliments my coat and mane? You are the fashion expert, not me, so I am sure you can think of something that will go well with whatever Tammilya envisions for her bridal gown.”

“I can work with that,” Val said as she moved to my barrel, but not before presenting me with the end of the ribbon. “Now here comes the fun part. Considering that I specialize in providing excellent customer service, I am putting you in control while I measure your more sensitive areas. If at any point I make you uncomfortable, pull on the ribbon and tell me to stop in a firm tone, and if I continue yank me away.”

“O...k?” I said confused, but taking the end of the ribbon as she had requested. It didn't take long for me to get exactly why, she started measuring my 'undercarriage’, and the feeling of her fondling me took every ounce of my will power to keep from enjoying it too much. “Valiente, please try and keep this professional, besides my bride-to-be is standing just a few feet away from us.”

“So healthy,” Valiente said as she measured my equipment for the third time, almost like she was in a trance. “So virile… oh what I wouldn't do to have a stallion such as yourself-”

“Enough!” I said in an authoritative tone, yanking on the ribbon and jerking the unicorn so she was now in front of me. “I asked you once to keep it professional, the fact I had to ask twice makes me uncomfortable, and if you cross the line once more you will have to deal with Tammilya and I will take my business elsewhere.”

“I am sorry darling,” Val said in an regretful tone, her apology sounding sincere. “Occasionally, I let my emotions and desires briefly get the better of me, which is why I had you hold that ribbon like a leash. Please, as a token of apology, I will do yours and Tammilya’s outfits free of charge and I hope you can forgive me.”

“Apology accepted,” I said with a smile, putting a hoof on her wither. “Just try to contain yourself, please?”

“I will do my best, just stay still and relax. Perhaps after we get done with you, your finaceé can model some choice outfits to see what appeases your tastes.”  I nodded and Valiente resumed measuring me, and with no further incident it allowed me to think about the next step of my life.