• Member Since 7th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Sandstorm94


A ling from the southeast US, support me on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/sandstorm94/overview

T

Din Djarin was a well respected bounty hunter. Praised for his ability to capture his targets, he developed a reputation for being the go-to hire to ensure all debts got collected.

That is, until his target was The Child.

Now on the run from The Guild and its members, Din must play a galactic-sized game of Hide and Seek to guarantee the safety of his target-turned-youngling. When a hypersrive malfunction strands Din and The Child on a whole new planet in a different galaxy, he will soon discover Equestria is not the land of cupcakes and rainbows that it appears on the surface.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 38 )

For the record: I know that is not Mando's helmet, but the visual effect was too good to resist

This should be a good read if you keep up on the quality. Well done.

Looks like I am in for an interresting ride.

Is there a planned update sheduled?

10102166
Considering the absolute clutterfuck I am in with as many open stories as I have? I'm going to try, for now, once every 3 months

I had exactly this same idea for a setup, except in mine, the Child and the CMCs use his force powers to raid Sugarcube Corner for sweets.

10102306
That sounds like a nightmare for the Mane 6

Yes please let baby yoda in sugar cube Conner I wan tto see that happening.

Ri2

...Okay, you've caught my interest. The science-y stuff you mentioned for how the ship's systems work also implies you know your stuff, so well done on that.

And this seems like a lovely resort. And Celestia is Sunset's mother? And Amethyst may be her and Luna's? Don't suppose we'll get any follow-up on that?

And is that Mage Meadowbrook or a different Meadowbrook?

10102373
That is Mage Meadowbrook, and yeah, parental issues are going to play a big part

Y'know that howling joke in Zootopia? I like to imagine the Mandalorians are like that with that phrase, "This is the way."

Aaaanyway, I kinda skimmed over the second portion of this story. It completely ruins my immersion when characters — in this case, Celly and Woona — start conversation about things they would have talked about long ago. Exposition shouldn't be so painful and forced.

To combat this, without any novel-length guide to write, I'd advise that you leave little "crumbs" of exposition throughout the story, just hints. Or otherwise just find a way for the characters to deliver it naturally (like maybe a tourist pony asks for directions — "I'm sorry, I've never been to [location] before!"). Hell, you could even just straight-up tell us the details, if it doesn't rob the story of an interesting reveal. But a great guideline to follow if you want to be smoother about it is KEEP IT RELEVANT to the plot. (Maybe the tourist pony is a main character in that hypothetical. O.o)

There are loads of practical ways of delivering exposition. I think we're all afraid of it to some extent, but de-mystifying this aspect of writing can make it way easier and even fun.

I cant with that title

I need more of this

I want more. Especially of the Mando and Baby Yoda

I like the story and where It's going, but can I recommend having Din Djarin not talk as much? He was never a sociable character and seemed to keep to himself quite a lot. It would be a good idea to turn most of his lines into just him thinking to himself, as it ruins the feeling of it actually being Din under that helmet. Still, it's a great start and I can't wait for the next chapter. You got this man!

10149791
Fair, but in my mindset, he talks to the Child "off camera" as it were. And something like that happen, he would talk more to keep him calm

10150072
I have been looking all over the damn place to find a story based around The Mandalorian.

Oh look, another mando story that has been abandoned.

10245759
Nope, got an update planned for next month (I am a COVID essential worker... 'Nough said...)

Ri2

Wait, he landed just outside of town and not in the forest, where he would get attacked by a manticore? Is that allowed?

Didn't expect Cheese. Or human Pinkie. Or a threesome. Or Cheese switching genders.

So, not sure I understood all the astrobabble. Does time pass differently between the two dimensions or something?

10302142
That is actually canon from the EqG movies (mare Twi is her 20s, yet on the other side of the portal she is a high schooler). I just went with something that actually made sense in relation to planetary rotation

Ri2

10302251
No, I figured there was a time difference, I just never thought about the sort of astronomical mechanics behind it.

What's the wars has to do with the unequal gender ratio? I mean, if they continue to give birth at 1:1 ratio the older generation would just die out in time. It would be more believable to blame incompetent potion practicioners like Zecora.

10348914
Nothing is ever 1:1, but basically they used magic to skew the ratio

After several months of inactivity the story had been derailed it seems. :facehoof: The God-spirits want to turn him into a pony or something.

10482784
There is a difference between derailing and plot building

10490100
This is the newest update😂😂😂

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