• Member Since 7th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Sandstorm94


A ling from the southeast US, support me on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/sandstorm94/overview

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to The Maretian


In the Changeling Space Program, many are chosen, but only a hoofful have the privilege to be named astromares. Never in her life had Queen Chrysalis dreamed of hosting an alien from another dimension, but yet it has to happen. Stranded on Equus until fit to fly home, Mark Watney will have to adjust to life of aliens and magic...

This is his story...

Chapters (6)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 103 )

Oh wow! I'll have to read this later. Respects to you for picking up this lantern.

While in Ponyville, I fully expect Mark to go all "RAAAGH! BIG SCARY ALIEN RAAAGH!" to Cheerilee's class, with it obviously being him being a goofball.

Technically, given that the original left off AFTER all of this, this is more a side story than a true sequel. Watched and thumbed up anyways

So much fun creating a gravity generator and magic boost launch system. Theoretical basis for a transplanetary energy tramline at planetary, system, galactic, univresal, temporal and dimentional levels. Just watch out for rouge Digimon. :twilightoops:

They didnt need White blood cells because Mars was just that good at killing Everything?

Exactly what I was looking for

Ri2

Wait, what was that about Twilight's ancestor?

Pretty sure the title is spelled wrong.
I'd think it'd be Maretian and not Martian

9248900
Fucking autocorrect... Fixed now and thanks

The Martian works as well, at least for these initial chapters. It really reflects Marks position in equestria.
I actually thought you might have picked it on purpose.

At this point, I doubt Mark would be terrified of Chrysalis, fearsome visage or no. After Mars? His fight-or-flight instinct would quite likely be on fight mode.

Also, it's doubtful he'd react that way to the fish. Crunch, crunch, crunch, remember?

9248929
As long ago as that was, he would see it wasn't a joke, besides the first thing on his mind is getting home

9248929
My thoughts exactly, there is certainly a different feel of the characters when compared to the original, but I'll wait to see how it goes further along the line.

9249081
The crunch crunch crunch bit will be brought up, but this was just setting the base. I'm trying not to make the characters identical on purpose, otherwise I will feel like I'm just being a copycat writer.

Thanks for continuing this story looking forward to more

It begins... :pinkiehappy:

For what it is, not a bad start at all. While not quite at the same level quality-wise—which should be an easy fix once your editors give it a once-over or two—you have some interesting ideas and plenty of possibilities to work with. With some editing for grammar and flow, I have high hopes that this will prove to be a worthy sequel.

“In fact there is,” Twilight smiled, sitting by the door. “Designed by myself, and Princesses Luna and Celestia, who you'll meet when we get back down on to the planet. The generator itself was only made in the last few months, vigourouy (vigorously) tested in the last few weeks, and after triple checking was installed right before making the rescue jump. It is adjustable, and can generate up to 1G if needed. Now, .39G is Mars level, that much we know from various communications, but it takes at least .4G to fully run the kitchen.”

“Dragonfly, listen to me,” Setting his food aside, Mark got up and moved to Dragonfly's bed, cupping his hands around her extended hoof. “You can feel emotions, so tell me, after I finally called (calmed) myself down did you detect any hatred from me?”

Hug the lovebug Hug the lovebug

Oh hey, it's you. :twilightsmile:

Ohh, I see, you're filling in the blanks the epilogue glossed over. Looking forward to more! :pinkiehappy:

I'm a simple man. I see good sequel story of a very good story. I follow and like.

9250185
"We're all" as in the entire Maretian fanbase?...

9248656

G1, Megan and her siblings?

Ri2

9250202
I gathered as much, seemed a bit odd since Twilight already has met humans, and there's no indication Megan was from Mark's world. Plus, G4 and G1 aren't exactly compatible.

Love the story but i have to ask about the tags
It was implied in the chapter that dragonfly and mark are more than friends? With her extracting his love will that be explored? or will that be glossed over and if the first will you add a romance tag?
Or will it just stay sutile?

I wonder how long it'll take for a group dedicated to sequels of The Maretian to pop up.

9250578
Subtle for now so no need for the romance tag imo

9250189
Yes. The entire fanbase. :rainbowderp:
So, ya know, no pressure or anything.

9250498
Meh, i’ll take a 4-way 1g/4g/Martian/KSP crossover

9250185
Uh, good luck with that meme. It would only work if repeated both during the climax and when it is all over and done.

This shows great promise so far. Thank you for continuing this amazing work of art.

Only now do I discover this story because no one told me it was ready.

When Starlight says "There is no reason to cry, we'll treat you well while you are with us," I feel like she wouldn't speak like that. She'd use contractions: "There's no reason to cry; we'll treat you well while you're with us." Even with those corrections, it still doesn't feel 100% like "her" voice, if you know what I mean. The wording is wrong for her, in my opinion.

Likewise, Mark would say "There's a lot to..."

"who's accent" should be "whose accent"

When did the griffon whose name I forgot learn English? Or is he speaking Equestrian and Mark understands him? You haven't made that clear. Well, in the next paragraph you mention the translation spell.

I would revise “We all nearly died, you should be thankful that she is in the condition she is in!” to "We all nearly died, so you should be thankful that she's in the condition she is in!"

“We discovered multiple universes, launched numerous space races, and proved humans are not just a thing of myth, and that my great grandmother actually went on adventures with them.” So Twilight is now saying this twice? Once here and then again verbatim in Kris's story?

I can't remember; did Kris spell it as "Mare's Code" or "Mares Code"? Better double check with Azeazezar.

I think "I got plans" should be "I've got plans". Also, don't forget to italicize Phoenix, Concordia/Harmony, and Hermes, since those are ship names. I even italicized the ship names in the sheet music I'm making.

Perhaps a comma after "if there aren't any further questions". Change "while you are being" to "while you're being".

"Drug" should be "dragged". Remove the comma after magic and replace it with a period. Next sentence should be "Cherry closed the door after she entered."

"she point straight at Mark" should be "she pointed straight at Mark".

"Dragonfly, listen to me" should finish with a period, since that's the end of one sentence from Mark.

What tune was Mark humming?

Instead of "heardy", I think you meant "hearty". You know, like the food in Breath of the Wild that gives you yellow hearts? (You should consider getting Grammarly for your web browser - it helps you catch mistakes like this.)

Favourited and tracked by default. One chapter in, you’ve earned the track. Time will tell if you earn the favourite.

9267564

I can't remember; did Kris spell it as "Mare's Code" or "Mares Code"? Better double check with Azeazezar.

Kris used both.
But, considering "Mare's Code" only appears on sol 31 and every other mention is "Mares code", I assume that sol 31 is in error.

Looks good so far.

Mmmmmmm... Delicious romance talk! I can tell I am going to enjoy this. Thanks for writing it!

I have one complain, really just one, it's so short :raritycry:
Other than that, its awesome, keep it coming :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Undercover- deleted Nov 19th, 2018

9303037
And as I said, I'm sorry about that, but between my head feeling as if it was getting jackhammered by an antro futa Maud Pie and my right deadline, this was all I could muster

Comment posted by Undercover- deleted Nov 19th, 2018

Help how do I undelete my comment in which I profess my love for you
9303080

I want the whole world to know

I'm having trouble understanding the design of this landing craft it sounds more like a large space station with rooms and hallways but it's also a landing craft with heat shield and this is strange as the discussed level of Equestrian space technology at this time would have at best be crude space shuttles but more likely be apollo like capsules.

9303139
AFAIK, you can't. You'll have to repost it. A Pain In The Ass, I know. :fluttercry:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!