• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Fizzy Orange


This story takes place in RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse.

A week of vacation in beautiful Cayo El Bayo! Trixie thought this was the perfect getaway to rid herself of the hijinks plaguing Ponyvlle for a while. Sadly her peaceful vacation was not meant to be. Out on a snorkelling excursion with her friends, Ditzy dissapears! Now Trixie, Lyra and... Rarity?! Must scour the ocean floor and find their friend.

What they discover is something bigger than the dissapearance of a single pony and might help unravel a thousands of year old mystery of mythic proportion. Can Trixie and her friend unravel the secret of the Lost City of Andalantis?

This story takes place around the same time as Carrot Top of the Line. For official chronological order of Lunaverse stories, and everything Lunaverse, please come visit us in the Lunaverse Group!

Click here for a live reading!

Chapters (13)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 349 )

Sea pony Lyra! Maybe. Probably. Boy will that be weird for the two of them.

Anyway. This could probably use an editor, but I'm not much of one so I'm not going to do such.

No continuity problems detected, in any event.

I'm not much of an editor either, though tonight I played one on TV, such as it were.

Can't say I agree with everything Fizzy's doing here, at least not in the initial setup, but I'm quite intrigued to see it all play out. Things are looking to have a whole lot of epic potential, infinitely more so than when he first mentioned doing a side-story of what the rest of the cast was up to during CTotL.

Hmmm. This could be the official substitute for 'Over A Barrel'.

Also, Rarity seems to be taking lessons in being an opportunistic creep from Greengrass.

Your mention of a Brigadier General and the aquatic setting now has me thinking of The Sea Devils. This is also the first Lunaverse story that seems to explore L!Rarity's unpleasant side.

Definitly interested where you're going with this.

Heh. Legend of Epona. Hilarious.

...makes me wonder what Requiem of Spirit does.....

Oh, hey, I forget when this is taking place - just before Carrot Top of the Line, right?

The Legend of Epona huh? Nice :pinkiehappy:

I haven't played that game in years...

Anyway, good start. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Lyra’s specialty when it came to magic was spellsongs, spells recorded in the form of pieces of music. To perform the spell the caster would simply have to match the harmonic frecquency of their magic with the music. Her horn glowing with golden light, Lyra began to perform [url= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72zr1S8Znfw]a series of five notes, her lyra pulsating with magic. Soon the sound of her linstrument was joined by the phantom sound of a type of flute, as the five notes were repeated three times before coming to a soft finish. Like a wave of water the magic washed over the assembled crowd of pony.

You need to get rid of the space in the tag to make it work properly.

The Zelda reference was pure win though.


Nocturne of Shadow for fridge horror.


Actually, in this universe, I think Prelude of Light would be scarier.


Nah, that would be the Sun's Song. Or would it be called the Moon's Song due to certain factors?

Also... The Lunaverse Burn for Rarity. :applecry:

Please, please, please stop using the mane 6 to make the luna 6 look good.

“Was that the Serenade of Water from The Legend of Epona?”
I see what you did there.

Nice chapter, keep up the good work.

That's part of the point of this series, to explore what the mane 6 might be like without the influence of their friends. Fluttershy's more reclusive than ever, Rainbow is (more of) a jerk, Applejack has her work ethic turned up to eleven, Twilight is so antisocial she borders on insane. I've been hoping for Rarity to have a shared 'episode' for a while now so we could see more of her. Apparently she's a b(uy some apples!).


it seems to be making the Luna 6 superior to me. In the show all of them, excep t Trixie are unexplored but decent ponies. Here they're the main good guys, they have flaws but they're good overall. Of course in the show the mane 6 are good guys, but here they're pretty lousy.

So you've got a message of things had to be just right for the mane 6 to turn out right, but for the most part the Luna 6 are okay anywhere

Can't really agree with you there.

L!Ditzy is a hard working single mother, while the only thing we know for sure of canon M!Derpy is that she seems to be a rather vapid klutz who despite trying to be helpful, tends to do more harm than good.

L!Raindrops is steadfastly dependable and probably the second best weathermare in Ponyville, while M!Raindrops seems to be about as big a klutz as Derpy (it's often forgotten that she was just as culpable in the furniture incident from Feeling Pinkie Keen) and she was also the first pegasus to lose formation during the tornado, taking out several other pegasi as she did.

Neither Carrot Top nor Lyra have ever really done much of note in actual canon, thus we really can't say one way or the other. So about the only L6 who seems to be just a well off in both universes is Cheerilee.

932903 933367
And on a side note, from what we've mostly seen of her, mane!Bon Bon isn't exactly the nicest mare around either. Plus, it's not JUST the lack of friend influence, its a number of factors due to the timeline changes in this 'verse, one of the biggest being the Night Court. While there is probably a 'Day Court' counterpart to them in the maneverse, I, at least, really doubt they have as much influence and power as we've seen in the Lunaverse stories. Heck, from what little we (may have) seen from them, they mostly seem to throw fancy parties, christen ships and other 'for show' tasks.

((Stuff below gets spoilery for those who haven't read the rest of the Lunaverse stories))

We know that L!AJ's issues are at least partly a result of fallout from Court shenanigans years back, and we know that Fluttershy's parents being members seem to have contributed a bit to the way she and Dash have turned out. So while it's not JUST the lack of the friendship bonds that have affected the mane 6 Lunaverse counterparts, it is one of the primary reasons.

Okay, finally got around to reading this. Oh, Rarity... *Shakes fist at her, then tosses beach ball back at her* Anyway, evil cliffhanger!

As for the M!Six, their darker sides are brought out a bit more.

Not sure if this'll be one of my favorites among the 'verse, but it's a decent start. :pinkiesmile: Really interesting Discord/Jellyfish mythology (I hate those things, they're hella-creepy!) and I'm curious as to what those mutant shark things are, exactly.

When will you come around to continuing this?

1431278 Probably not before I finish Where There is Smoke.

Okay. I'll check back.

1431551 Don't worry, I'll make a blog post once I've updated.

Guess I should try and subscribe to you, then?

1431673 Or favorite one of my story. I set blog to notify anyone who favorites any of my stories.

Oh yeah. Already did.

Wait a second... If this is taking place at the same time as Carrot Top of the Line, how is Rarity in both places at...

923665 I don't think it's Burn this time.

1537014 Rarity isn't at two places at once *whistles innocently*

1537233:trixieshiftright: "Rather clever, only changing your mane color and cutie mark."

Well, I had to check on something for my own story, so I thought I'd check up on this one. It's...pretty good, although it's obviously just a start. Hope to see more of this down the line.

And GAH! L!Rarity, why do you haunt me so? :raritydespair: At least this one isn't as bad as in "Tales of Ponyville."

1727920 I actually have most of my story beats down, it's just a matter of actually writting the story itself. Hopefully what follows with make you happy. :raritystarry:

The same author writes 2 stories set at the same time with Rarity in 2 different locations at once. 1 of the Rarities does not know that she has a Gem-Finding Spell and has to improvise when asked about it. If I did not know better, I might believe that the Rarity not knowing about the Gem-Finding Spell should be an impostor. ;-)

And this, I think, is where Rarity goes from 'irritating antagonist' to 'irritating friend'.

2072494 Yup. But she might have to haul through "bothersome companion" and "annoying ally" first. :raritywink:

“ I guess you want to repay Ditzy any way you can, after allyou were one of the adult taken by Corona on the Longest Night.” commented Lyra.

There's some odd spacing in this (and a missing "s"?) but it seems like a weird declaration to make about someone else. I can get asking a rhetorical question along these lines, but does this seem odd to anyone else?

Well, yes. That's a given, isn't it?

As for Lyra's saying that out loud, it would work better if she'd thought to herself "One thing she had to give Rarity is that she always repaid a kindness."

Hey, my own chapter 2 is taking a long time...mostly because of IRL problems but still.

Fun chapter, you made a good cut off at the end regardless of length the ending worked well setting the rest of the story and character actions up well. Dinky and Sparkler were adorable! The star fish scene was hilarious! and I quite enjoyed the Ditsy meeting the Sea Pony, Cucumber seems fun! I liked Rarity getting more helpfully involved, so overall good chapter. oh and interesting idea with water playing shenadagins with magic, though I do imagine Trixie could figure out Lyra's spell fairly easily, looking forward to the next one!

Love what you did with the revised Ditzy meets Cucumber scene.

2072585 You're right about that line. I decided to cut out the bit about adults and just have Lyra mention wanting to repay Ditzy.

2073368 Glad the cut off wasn't too terrible.

“Dangit Trixie, I’m a musician not a mage!

Something tells me Rarity may have her own plans aside from helping out...

One of the things I love about this story 'verse is that almost all characters have depth to themselves and their motives, including the Original Mane 6. Sure, in LNLD Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie came across as varying degrees of jerkiness, but subsequent fics have shone light on why they are that way, and made them more complete that way. Maybe now is Rarity's turn?

...besides, anypony would come across as a jerk when they have to deal with a grumpy, bitter, pre-friendship Trixie. The mare's abrasive.

So yeah, looking good so far.

2073534 That does feel less "info-dump-y" and less presumptuous of Lyra by just having Rarity acknowledge it.

But more importantly, Yay update! :pinkiehappy:

2074111 That whole segment was originally even worse in term of info dump, so I'm glad it flows better now.

2073827 We do our best to give our characters hidden facets that onyl slowly reveal themselves.

1727920 In case you hadn't noticed I updated this story. I really want to see what you think of chapter two and a certain mare in it. :raritywink:

“Nothing, just this… this… pouffiasse de fille de pute that’s causing trouble,”

Trixie's got quite the mouth on her hasn't she? I'm Glad Dinky doesn't understand Prench.

Nice to see there is a positive side to L-Rarity, she seems smarter than her normal universe self., she certainly reacted better to having green hair.

finally giving n to laughter

Dropped an i

taken aback by he helpful suggesting.

I think you mean "the helpful suggestion"

saying their good byes

"Goodbyes" is one word

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!