• Member Since 26th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago

MarvelandPonder


Surrender to the fun. Writing: Empathy for the Devil (Part I Out Now, Part II Coming Soon!), The Ex Files

Sequels1

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When Princess Celestia comes down with a mysterious illness despite her immortality, her loved ones flock to her side, including Sunset Shimmer. With only so much time left, Sunset takes it upon herself and Twilight to get to the bottom of it. The two of them work together non-stop to find a cure, which would be fine, if Sunset had gotten around to telling any of them she's dating the other world's Twilight.

Edited by the kind and insightful Space Jazz. Cover art designed by the incredibly talented Kiki-Kit and modified by the masterful Novel-Idea! Spoilers in the comments.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 160 )

This is definitely a good start to an interesting story. You have my attention.

Its looking good so far! Looking forward to the next chapter ^^

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Thanks for saying so! The next chapter's coming out tomorrow (and the next the day after that, etc.), so you don't have to wait long ^^

7835383 Oh really? That's quite fast. I've done that once (not with this fandom), but that was only because I had so much of the chapters already drafted, and I kind of got on a roll. When I started running out of already drafted material, I had to slow down.

Do you already have most of this written out? As much as I'd like to see where this goes, I wouldn't want you to sacrifice quality for speed.

In any case, good luck.

7835401

Oh yeah, the whole thing's done and edited. I definitely wanted to take my time with it, but at the same time, I didn't want to make anyone who wanted to read wait too long between chapters. So, I figured releasing a chapter a day would be fun (especially because there's 7 in total so I can pretend I planned a week-long event).

ENDLESS SCREAMS

Marvel, you can't see me right now, but I'm doing a little happy dance on my couch and squealing like an eleven year old at her first boyband concert, this is precious because the babies are in love and together and they were happy BUT SHIT WENT DOWN, YO. LIKE, I COULD SEE IT WAS SAD FROM THE COVER BUT DAMN, SON. This is setting up for some pure awesomeness, knowing you.

I gotta go grab some popcorn.

7835853 If I'm honest I'm squealing because of your comment, so I think we match.

Also, the benefits of setting the story a little later: the dorks are already in love and I can sneak some cute stuff in there along with the actual story :twilightsheepish:

This is so cute, and well written, I'm really excited to read more :D

7836040 Aw, thanks, it's very kind of you to leave a comment like that. I hope you enjoy the next chapter tomorrow as well!

Well, Sci-Twi x Sunset, gonna follow this story :3

I've gotta say, even though I have used many different pairings in my fics, these two are still the most adorable one. I like where this is going so hopefully we will see more. Keep up the good work.

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Sci-Twi and Sunset are too cute for words, they're at least in my top two favourite ships, if not my personal favourite.

Oh, and next chapter's coming tomorrow, so thank you for the vote of confidence so far, I hope it'll prove worth it ^^

This seems very interesting. And the Sunlight moments were positively adorable.

Sorry, but it's way too soon to say anything clever about this story yet. When more stuff happens, I'll be back.

Another great chapter. Still wondering what's going on with Celestia, and if they'll be able to cure it. I hope so. Can't wait to see the next one tomorrow.

Oh, and I did find a single little typo.

“Give me challenge,” Starlight said, swiping at the air. “He’s been fast asleep since eight!”

Give me A challenge.

Aren't those sorts of things a pain when you're editing?

7838120

Fixed! Thanks, reynard ^^

Yeah, little typos are the hardest to catch but sometimes they can at least be worth a laugh sometimes. One that I thankfully managed to spot in this chapter was:

We be alone, Sunset thought (instead of We won't be alone).

Also, it's really nice to hear you've got an interest in how things will turn out! Chapter 3's coming your way tomorrow.

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Heh, thanks for the compliments, though, I'll take those any day. You can be as clever or unclever (not a word, I know, but that just makes it all the more unclever) as you want, I just enjoy hearing from you.

Don't think I didn't recognize "Night Breeze", you nerd. But yay! Friendship and the dork squad is all here! I mean, the circumstances aren't great, but yay, dork squad! (Starlight and Trixie got the place to themself, #AYYY.) But yikes, my poor sunshine princess. I think you know by now Celestia is a lowkey fave so my heart is kinda breaking right now. Everyone's hurting here too, dang it, but it's gonna be okay, right? Right?

Eagerly awaiting the next installment, my dear.

7838454

Dork squad for life (also, yes, Starlight's getting ahead on her homework... do you ever regret typing something but also refuse to erase it?)

Congrats on the feature. I'll add this to read later, and I'll come back to the it at some point. Just from the premise it remind me of Hold Your Color, which is always a good thing.

me think that the alicorn of the sun within the princess is die or being transfer to another ie sunset, and sometime down the line same thing going to happen to luna with the alicron of the moon being transfer to twilight,
but who knews

7840384 Thanks! It's the first time I've ever been featured!

If you come back after the 7th (Saturday), the whole thing will be published (it was written ahead of time) and you can read at your own pace.

7840488

I like the way you think, but I won't spoil the ending!

7840533 thank you, it came to me, that major alicron live for x year before they powers are pass to the next gen, who were train by the current,

good story cant wait for more

A very nice chapter. Now we're getting somewhere in saving Celestia. Also, nice cliffhanger. XD

It's interesting that you made Philomena Sunset's pet. So Celestia decided to say Philomena was hers the whole time?

And I have to say, if she WAS Sunset's pet, shouldn't she know about the magic journals? I mean, if Sunset used them to communicate with the princess then you'd think Philomena would know about it. Just a little question. Not that it makes a huge difference in the story.

Also:

Laughing and cooing in her golden light, the two of them butt heads before Philomena starting giving her love bites, singing little curls of Sunset’s mane and more than anything, nuzzling her cheek. The leather from her jacket saved her hooves and only made things toastier.

I think that should be "butted". And I think that needs to be singeing and not singing.

Also, that library card was absolutely adorable. Thanks for the link. XD

Only one thing I don't get: are the books from the observatory written in a language older than even the Alicorn Sisters themselves?

'Cause otherwise I'd just hold up the book and be like "Luna, whazzit say?"

7840619
Glad you're feeling some momentum ^^

Fixed! Thanks for the save on that one, totally slipped by me.

And, yeah, Celestia took care of Philomena as if she was her own, but you've gotta remember how secretive she is. Twilight never even knew about Sunset before EQ1 for whatever reason, so I'm willing to wager if Philomena actually was Sunset's, Celestia would at least have some excuse like 'I'm holding her for a friend' (but lying and saying she's her phoenix makes the most sense since she's been taking care of her for years).

As to the Philomena knowing about the journal... huh. I at first was going to say she doesn't necessarily have to know about it (which is still technically true I guess), but I guess Sunset owned the other journal when she was growing up in Equestria, huh? Good catch. You're keeping me honest, I like that.

I mean, I don't know if I'll change the dialogue that much, but I might mess around with it so it's not ignoring that continuity.

Also, I KNOW, RIGHT? Twilight's way too precious and adorkable, there should be laws against that for the health and safety of us all.

7840629

Hmm...

Sounds like you're too smart for this chapter. Maybe the ones coming will catch up to you ;)

(Also, it's taking a lot of restraint to treat you like a person instead of worshiping you like an idol for One Night in Canterlot. Although I will say I'm loving that story so far, and I even actually kind of studied it a bit for the tiny motorcycle bit in chapter one-- not to rip you off, but because you did the action so well and I've gotta learn somehow!)

7840666 I wouldn't necessarily call it "keeping you honest" but you're welcome all the same.

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LOL, when I read the motorcycle scene I thought it felt familiar! :rainbowlaugh:

7840709 We'll call it a loving homage... yeah. Totally not just being a copy-cat :applejackconfused:

7840629

I was thinking the exact same thing. Oh no this book is written in a thousands year old version of the language, should we maybe ask the thousands year old pony princess about it?

7840929

You're totally right. I could always use the excuse that they're emotional and hungover, but yeah, it's good for me as a writer to learn when my readers are ahead of the characters. So, thanks for weighing in, every little bit helps ^^

Bravo Sunset, in no way or shape would that kind of confession will be awkward, never in a million years, doy!

7841022

It's okay, maybe she never learned, or forgot because it's been so long. There could be reasons why that wouldn't work , they just might not be the best reasons :scootangel:

annd shit hits the fan
plz tell me when i wake up tomarrow this story will update
But this is really good i love how the story flows and the slight drama and the mystery of Celestia getting sick keep up the amazing work!

7841090

Awkward? Sunset? No, no, never. (Blame Sci-Twi, she's apparently a bad influence on her girlfriend)

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The next chapter's coming out tomorrow around the same time chapter 3 did (anywhere from 12-2pm EST), so maybe not before you wake up, but it'll get to you ^^

And hey, thanks for the compliments, that's sweet of you and it's really nice to hear.

I could analyze this until the sun burns out, and we still wouldn’t have a conclusive answer.

Jeezus, Moonie; use some tact, please! :raritydespair:

Holy Crap; the feelz...

Kinda sad we didn't get to see Twilight's immediate reaction to Sunsets...outburst from before. Buuut still a good chapter. And my God the feels at the end :fluttershyouch:
Also I can't complain about your timing updating. I literally started reading this this morning :rainbowlaugh:

Well, that was a heart-wrenching ending. But still really great. I really hope Celestia doesn't die. That would be... yeah.

I do find it curious that there's nothing seemingly wrong. But increased cell death? Almost makes me think of apoptosis. I mean, if it were necrosis you'd think the cause would be obvious. But then again, you'd also need something to be triggering mass apoptosis too.

As for the beginning, ouch, the awkwardness levels. I think the, yeah, the awkwardness detector just broke. As if the situation couldn't get any... nope, not going there. I'll jinx it. XD

Oh, and I did want to point out two things: One: You forgot to fix a typo in chapter 3. I mentioned it before, and I hate to sound like a broken record, but:

Philomena starting giving her love bites, singing little curls of Sunset’s mane

That should be singeing, with an E.

And then:

That hit Sunset then that hurt worse than the awkward quiet from the last day and a half.

Um, were the words "then that hurt" from a previous draft? I do that sometimes myself. The beginning of that sentence doesn't make sense. I know what it's supposed to say, but, yeah, you should fix that.

Still a great chapter, and I can't wait for tomorrow. And also, nice choice of title too.

7842697

I getcha on that one, in hindsight. It would've been a short scene other than seeing Twi's reaction, but still could've been nice. Aside from, like, a brief reaction, they spent the rest of that day researching (and at some point getting Luna to translate for them) in somewhat awkward silence, so I guess it wasn't an extreme one, probably just a cobbled together string of stammers and blushing from both parties.

Also, glad to hear it! I might try posting tomorrow's chapter later in the evening, just to see if that pulls in more views/keeps on the front page a wee bit longer, but it still shouldn't be too long of a wait :pinkiehappy:

7842694

Heheheheh, she has no tact period and I'm actually pretty happy that came through, I'm still novice enough that I might not always be able to show that kind of thing. She's had close friends for a while at this point (years, when I think about it), but I enjoy the idea that she still misses some social cues. Just makes her fun to write.

Ze feels... zey bring me life (everything is more dramatic in an over-the-top French accent, trust me, I'm Canadian).

7843020

I obviously won't spoil anything, but I will repeat stuff: Whatever it is, MoonDancer couldn't detect it. I don't want you too hung up on the biology of it all, but I put that in there too show that even though Moonie's a highly educated scientist, she can't detect an illness, biological or magical. There's something else at play here.

I'll give you a hint, though, it is something you can guess from what we've already seen. I wouldn't be able to tag this story as a mystery in good conscience otherwise. And, let's be honest, you guys are way smarter than me, so I won't be heartbroken if you figure it out ahead of time lol. We'll see if the answer ends up being satisfying for you, whether you guess it or not.

Also, fixed (for this time haha)! And fixed! Wow, that's the worst typo yet (I'm going for the record, Ma!). But yeah, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened-- it was written mostly all in one draft (except for one scene I just added yesterday to chapter 6), but I was probably editing that line and somehow missed those words. Thanks for bringing that one to my attention, that's a pretty rough one to have to read ^^

Wonder how Twilight will react to Sunset checking out Moon Dancer. She would either find it too weird, dope slap Sunset or join her girlfriend in the checking out.

What kind of fucking nerds sext through a book? *remembers what I'm reading* Oh. Yeah. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS.

I just??? Love these interactions??? SO MUCH???? (I feel like the "Christmas party" joke was a reference to adge's heartbreakingly lovely little comic.) But seriously. Lookit this other duet of dorks, dealing with dilemmas and dungeons. I'm sorry, I'm just a slut for alliteration too. #LoveIt. Legit tho, Princess Twi and Sunset, being rebellious teens and sneaking around when Momlestia ain't looking. Of course they'd do that ... aaand get very drunk while doing so. They're compensating for the fact they never got to be real teens, huh?

LIL BABY PHILOMENA THO THAT SASSAFRASS I LOVE HER. Sunset's a dork with an overgrown, fiery (ayy) parrot. That was great too.

Also ... nice reveal, loser. Real smooth.

ONWARDS.

STEPH I JUST WANTED TO READ SOME GAYS BEFORE I GO TO BED I DON'T WANT SUN-MOM TO DIE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

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Haha, because of your comment, I actually decided to add in a small part where you learn about her reaction (hint: it's none of the above), before I think I just let it slide since Sunset felt so terrible about it. Feels better knowing for sure she told her.

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I feel like the "Christmas party" joke was a reference to adge's heartbreakingly lovely little comic.

I wrote this back in November before I'd even met Adge, but now that you've said it I exclusively want that to be a thing. It's official. I'm the author and I approve this reference.

They're compensating for the fact they never got to be real teens, huh?

Aww, I actually hadn't thought of it like that, but you're right. This is also canon, too, everybody (keep going, you're doing my job for me). And you know, I was going to counter saying, 'haha, yeah, but it's okay because they actually had good teenage years with Celestia' but then I remembered what Sunset's teenage years were actually like.

Also ... nice reveal, loser. Real smooth.

Hehe, I can't tell whether you're talking to me or Sunset but both make me laugh. In Sunset's defense (or maybe mine?), she knew it would be too late to tell Princess Twi about Sci-Twi being her gf if Princess Twi started to legitimately think of her as a big sister. From that point on it, there wouldn't really be a smooth way to tell her.

But yeah, she did it in the worst way possible (because of me). Good work, Sunny.

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You, okay?! I learned it from watching you!

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