//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 - Sunlight Shimmering Love // Story: Losing Sunlight // by MarvelandPonder //------------------------------// Under special orders to get her head together while Twilight took a turn as Celestia’s bed-nurse, Sunset went back to her room. She couldn’t exactly argue. Diving back into the research without Twilight would be one thing, but she was a wreck and nothing sounded better than taking her mind off everything. Her face slammed into a pillow and stayed there until she was forced to come up for air. Sleep would’ve been ideal, but she wasn’t usually able to nap during the day unless heavily drugged with cough syrup, which she didn’t have handy. Theoretically, she could raid the royal winery and make do, but something, maybe her liver, told her that wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism. The journal sitting on her bedside seemed like a much better option. Especially with Philomena not in the room to nark on her if she decided on ripping out a page when she returned the book to Princess Twilight. Hey, Twi. Can you talk right now? The reply wasn’t as instantaneous as last time, but within a few minutes Twilight wrote back, Of course. Is everything alright? She wasn’t particularly keen on telling her what happened with Princess Twilight, because how would she bring something like that up? ‘Oh, don’t worry about me, baby. I sorta think of you as my little sister now, that’s all. No big.’ The rest was actually somewhat easier. Princess Celestia’s not doing well, and we still have no idea what’s wrong with her. We had a good, long talk, though. I told her about Sunset stopped herself. If Twilight knew she’d told Celestia about having a girlfriend, she’d want to come. Sunset couldn’t handle that right now. well, a lot of things. I’m glad I got to tell her how I felt about her, at least. That’s something. How are you feeling now? Honestly? Like I’d rather talk about anything other than what I’m feeling. That bad, huh? Yeah. Although I’ve never been all that in tune with my emotions, so I don’t know how much that’s saying. Twilight doodled a little heart, and a little arrow from her words to the drawing. Would pictures help? That’s sometimes helpful in therapy, especially for kids, but anything that works, right? Sunset snorted and drew something obscene that wasn’t entirely anatomically correct. It was boobs. She drew boobs. Those usually work for me. Very funny, wise girl. Who says that doesn’t accurately express my feelings right now? I’m talking to my girlfriend, aren’t I? There was a pause before Twilight wrote back. Aw. Is someone feeling lonely? Depends. Do I get a naughty drawing if I answer correctly, Sparky? If you actually let me help you, I’ll draw you a whole notebook full. You do realize I’m going to hold you to that, right? Only if you hold up your end of the bargain. Well, fine. If you’re so determined to be amazing, what do YOU suggest we talk about? Because I’m sort of emotionally burnt-out right now. That’s fine, I can work with burnt-out. Quantifying it might be beneficial. Sometimes that helps me when I’m having a bad time. Have you eaten today? Oh yeah, Sunset wrote, three course breakfast. Stress-eating? Not really. If I didn’t, the royal cooks would take it very personally. Trust me. I’ve known some of them all my life, and they don’t forget. You grew up with your own personal chefs who cook you multi-course meals three times a day. Yes? Metabolisms aren’t fair. Hey, the other you got the same treatment, and you two don’t seem that different. Sunset stared at the page and instantly wished she’d been using pencil. There was another pause. This time, a very long one, stretching on and on like the passage of time was taffy. Sunset eventually wrote, Please tell me what’s bothering you, Twi. I’m here. It doesn’t matter what’s going on with me, I always want to be there for you. It’s how a relationship works. The pause went on until finally Twilight wrote, I’m sorry, Sunset. Recently, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into our future together and how everything’s been so far. It’s been amazing, but we got together so quick, and all of it only after Princess Twilight saved you. And, she wrote, if I’m honest, you spending time with her scares me. I’m not jealous so much as worried you picked the wrong Twilight. She went on, You look up to her. I don’t know if you know how much. She’s your best friend and one of your closest confidants. The fact of the matter is, she gave you a second chance at life. That’s something I could never give you. Sunset had to read it again, scrambling for the right response. Twiligh I KNOW you’d never cheat but that’s also the problem in a way, because if you ever did feel that way, you might regret our relationship forever because you could’ve been with her instead of me. And knowing you wouldn’t do anything about it hurts because you could be unhappy with me and never be able to say it. You’re too sweet for your own good. Blinking into existence on the page, a few splotches smudged and warped the words. A fire broke out in Sunset’s chest. She’d tear the fabric of the multiverse apart to get to her if she could. In fact, she’d already started casting a teleport spell back to Ponyville… before she short-circuited. Leaving Celestia now could legitimately kill her. She steadied her breath holding her headache in her hoof. I chose you for a reason. I love YOU. You have to know that. We might’ve started dating fast, but that’s because I spent all of senior year falling for you. Not her. I know that, but I’m not worried about high school senior Sunset. I’m worried about university senior Sunset, or twenty years down the road Sunset. Are things going to change when we have more perspective? You were friends with her first, and then I conveniently came along when she couldn’t be there. What if you had already fallen for her by the time we met? Sunset’s stomach did not like that suggestion. It just about flipped like she was back on the Colossus at Seven Flags with the girls. Judging by her watering mouth, she suspected it would end up just as messy. She scowled and willed it back by swallowing. I didn’t. You two are so different you’re literal worlds apart. I know you might be alternate versions of each other, but you’re individuals. You didn’t know that when we met. I saw how you looked at me. I could only really identify it in hindsight, but I know what you look like when you’re in love. Look, I love you now, but you’re remembering it wrong. And even if I did have a thing for you back then, it’s nothing like the relationship we have now. Me and the princess, She crossed it out and tried again. Look, it’s just not something you have to worry about. I promise. Even as she wrote it, Sunset knew Twilight would still worry. Just because something logically shouldn’t concern her didn’t mean she wouldn’t go full Anxious Twi mode. If there was one thing Sunset had learned about her girlfriend, it was that. She’d always sort of known that about Twilight, but it became abundantly clear the first winter after they started dating. Admittedly, Sunset had been a little eager. Fall was definitely her favourite season, and winter? Far and away her least favourite. Growing up in a mountain climate like Canterlot meant winters could get dark and bitter, advanced levels of bitter. One year, she was so fed up with it that she legitimately started researching hibernation spells. She never ended up using Sleeping Cutie, but every morning she’d been tempted. Canterlot City, on the other hand, at least had the chance of throwing nicer weather in the mix, but more to the point, she had other things to keep her warm. In fact, she always had six reasons to get out of bed that she never had growing up. Winter started to change from the devil’s season to hangouts at Sugarcube Corner with hot cocoa, cheering Rainbow Dash on in varsity hockey, and celebrating holidays she still didn’t quite understand with a family who understood her better than anyone. Showing Twilight all her new favourite holiday traditions and maybe creating some of their own together made her warm enough to ward off the cold breezes like unwanted spirits. When the girls wanted to go skating on the lake, she might’ve ignored a few warning signs, like Twilight warning her it might not be the best idea, for one. The girls were all already on the ice by the time they got there. Applejack and Rainbow Dash tore across the lake from one end to the other, locked in the heat of battle and shaving the ice every time they reached one end. Rarity and Fluttershy took a much more leisurely pace with Pinkie making loops and waving their way. Waving back and setting down her duffle bag on the snowy shore, Sunset noticed Twilight lagging behind. She turned toward her with her gloved hands in her pockets. “You know,” she said, her breath visible in the air, “it’s okay if you really don’t want to. We made sure it’s safe, but if it still makes you nervous, the girls will understand.” “No, no,” Twilight told her, panting so much her cheeks were as rosy as her ear-muffs. “It seems like fun.” Sunset’s eyebrow took off. “Are you feeling okay? You’ve been coughing ever since I picked you up. Do you think you’re coming down with something?” Twilight came up and focused on zipping Sunset’s jacket. “I should be asking you that, missy. I don’t care how good you make it look. You’ll catch hypothermia before I even learn how to skate.” “You don’t know how to skate?” Twilight’s blush deepened its hue. Sunset did her best to look encouraging. “Want me to teach you how?” Twilight coughed into her mitt before smiling at her, nodding. After lacing up, Sunset offered Twilight both of her hands. Twilight wobbled onto her feet and then grabbed Sunset’s forearms to keep from face-planting into her chest. “Gak!” Sunset bit back a laugh. “That’s normal. It’ll take you awhile to get your balance.” Still huffing out smoke like a dragon, Twilight trembled and tugged on her arms. “Am I doing this right?” “Yeah, kinda. But try to straighten your ankles if you can. It’ll help you keep steady.” Sunset tried to demonstrate with her own skates, but they weren’t wobbling beneath her, so she knew it would take Twilight a bit longer. In hindsight, the lake wasn’t the best place to learn. As Sunset started them moving, they drifted over the bumpy frozen waves and cracks, with Twilight wobbling even harder. Twilight's face twisted. “Like this?” “Uh-huh,” she said, steering them out further into the dark end of the lake at a gentle pace. The panting was a bit worrying, especially since Twilight was clearly trying to make it quieter. Sunset knew her girlfriend wasn’t in great shape. She didn’t want to draw too much attention to it since Twilight was already self-conscious about not being able to skate. Instead, she brought her girlfriend a little closer and smiled. “You’re doing great.” “Thanks,” Twilight breathed, concentrating on her own feet. “How are you so good at this? You… used to be a quadruped.” “You’d be surprised how often I wear high heels.” “That’s not an explanation,” she said, wheezing. Rainbow Dash and Applejack zoomed around at phenomenal speeds off to their left, racing from one set of evergreens to another. Sunset wasn’t entirely convinced that Rainbow took off her magic geode necklace for this. She’d learned how to fake normal speeds with it on a little too well. Twilight was watching them, too. “Are you… you sure you wouldn’t rather skate by yourself? I’m… I’m holding you back.” Her breath was starting to whistle with every wheeze. Sunset’s brow pulled together. “Why are you so out of breath?” “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Twilight wobbled on her feet, leaning into Sunset, who could feel her grip loosening. Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all drifted over at once. “Is everything alright?” Rarity asked. It sounded like Twilight was breathing through a tube. Her voice hollowed out to find room for the oxygen in her windpipe. She didn’t really answer other than by struggling to perform one of the most basic physical needs for survival. Fluttershy rubbed Twilight’s back. “Is it your asthma?” Twilight nodded. Below her breath, too low to really hear she said, “Yes, yes…” Sunset’s heart froze like the lake. “Where’s your inhaler?” At that point, she’d only ever seen Twilight pull it out after a particularly deep kiss or a run around the track during gym class back at CHS. All those times, it didn’t take her long to get her breath back, and none of them were all that severe. Although, there were plenty of times they’d been in danger when Twilight had to keep up, but she hadn’t used it then, or at least Sunset hadn’t seen it. She cursed at herself for not connecting the dots sooner. With the snow collecting on the back of her head, Twilight coughed and fell toward the ground. Maneuvering her arm around Twilight’s shoulders, Sunset looked to the girls, now including Applejack and Rainbow Dash who zipped over. “We’ve gotta get her to the hospital.” To their credit, all their friends helped Twilight along and didn’t take wheezed I’m sorrys for an answer. Sunset was the one who should’ve been sorry. What kind of idiot wouldn’t put it together when she came up panting? Was skating really that important to her that she was fine just neglecting Twilight when she was clearly struggling right in front of her? She had to be a better girlfriend than this. The hospital and Twilight’s parents took good care of her, but that unfortunately left Sunset and the girls crowding the waiting room. Sunset wasn’t much of a pacer, but her legs were jumping and twitching in her seat pretty much the whole time. After a few hours, Shining Armor retrieved them from the waiting room, and they got to see her breathing steady again. Without rushing them too much, Sunset waited until all of the girls got all the hugs they needed before asking for a moment alone with her. They were all understanding, of course, if a bit suggestive. Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash was suggestive. By now, Sunset figured it was her way of showing her support. Not to prove her too right, but they did have a pretty good, if brief, wow-you-almost-died kiss after everyone else shut the door behind them. They’d had a little too much practice at that kind. Sunset put the oxygen mask back on her girlfriend before kissing her knuckles. “Twilight, I don’t know why I didn’t notice. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” The mask made it sound like she was talking through a speaker or on the other end of one of their late-night phone calls. “I didn’t want to ruin your fun. You were so happy to go skating with the girls, a-and you’ve never seen me have an asthma attack before—they’re usually not this bad, but I didn’t know if it would upset you. So, I thought if I could just get it under control, you wouldn’t have to worry over nothing.” She looked down at the starchy, pastel green hospital sheets over her lap. “But I guess this time wasn’t really ‘nothing'.” “Yeah, seriously. Your brother said your lungs were clogging up with fluid?” Twilight nodded, and Sunset decided hand-holding wasn’t cutting it. The bed was about as stiff as a board of wood, but Twilight was comfy to cozy up to, and hearing her heartbeat didn’t hurt things. They’d been through so much worse, been much closer to death, but it didn’t hurt. Neither did Twilight playing with her hair, but that was just a bonus. “What happened out there?” “The cold.” Sunset stared up at her. “What?” “The change in temperature,” she said beneath the mask. “Sometimes, when it’s really cold like that it triggers my asthma. It’s the season.” “I hate winter so much,” Sunset told her, unflinchingly still. Twilight giggled. “Worst season there is.” “I’m glad we’ve come to a consensus as a couple. It’s really good that we don’t have to argue over the real issues.” Twilight went quiet, stroking Sunset’s hair. “I’m sorry, Sunset… Are you mad at me?” Sunset blinked. “Am I mad at you? Are you kidding? Twilight, I'm just glad that you’re okay.” At the time, she could barely believe Twilight would be so focused on her after she was the one whose lungs were malfunctioning. But for someone who spent most of her life as a loner, Twilight cared so damnably much. And for whatever reason, she cared about Sunset. She’d been caring for a long time. And now Sunset had to prove she’d been caring, too, but if the years they’d spent together weren’t enough, what could she say to make it anymore clear? Sunset pressed the quill to the page again. I don’t know what’s going to make you see it, but I love you. I promise. Twilight didn’t respond after that. Sunset meant every needlessly sappy word. Still, she couldn’t help but taste that roller-coaster vomit linger from the back of her throat. And even trying to reread all of that again wasn’t nearly as comforting as it should’ve been. She needed a second opinion.     Out of all of Canterlot’s cafes, diners, and eateries, Delicacy’s Family Kitchen was secretly Celestia’s favourite. The princess used to tell her how it would be unfair to the other restaurants to say which she personally liked best, which quite honestly was true in a place like Canterlot. The upper-crust had refined tastes, but they’d lick dirt if Celestia said it was all the rage. Sunset herself even had a bit of sway once upon a time. Looking back now, she felt kinda bad for taking advantage of it like she did—which is why she totally understood when her waitress was a bit snippy with her before she took her menu. Sunset would definitely have to make sure to chip in a bit extra for all those free meals she managed to score over the years. The atmosphere was worth it, anyway. Or, the stratosphere, to be more accurate. They’d chosen a table outside, but what was particularly unique about Delicacy’s wasn’t just a penchant for cakes and pastries, it was the view. The outdoor seating was set-up on the southwest edge of Canterlot. A golden guardrail lassoed the city in, but apart from that, their table overlooked Ponyville, the clouds, and the gorgeous rolling hills hundreds of hoof-lengths below. Plus, they had free petunias on the table in a vase. Now that Sunset was regularly dating someone, she’d learned to appreciate free food. Using her magic, she poured two cups of steaming hot tea. Best to ease into it. “How are you holding up?” Princess Cadance took her tea in her hooves. “Better, now that I’ve had a chance to rest. I got to check in with my husband and Flurry Heart’s crystaller, Sunburst. They’re falling to pieces and lying through their teeth, but it was so good to talk to them. Twilight really saved me.” “Yeah, she’s sweet like that,” Sunset said, rubbing the base of her neck. The stress building up there would probably take awhile to work out when she was back in her yoga class with Fluttershy. That class wasn’t her idea to begin with (and in fact was a court mandated alternative to going back to anger management), but she’d warmed up to it after a while. Meditation was something she understood, training under Celestia, even if she hadn’t always appreciated it. She just wished she had that kind of calm going into this conversation. “That’s actually sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. “You know about the other dimension, right? Where there’s another version of everypony?” She waited. Cadance nodded. “Well, over there, there’s an alternate version of Twilight, and she and I are going out.” The smile that leaped onto her face was a little too sweet for Sunset’s tastes. As if a baby kitten barfed up an even smaller, even younger baby kitten. Thankfully, her expression quickly turned to something she understood. “So, you’re dating my little sister-in-law, hm?” “Only technically,” she said, hooves out over the table. “At least, I think. That’s just it. I’m starting to have trouble finding a difference between this world’s Twilight and my marefriend, and it’s really messing with my head now that I kinda think of Princess Twilight as my sister.” Cadance sat back against the swirly, golden chair. “That is a problem.” “Majorly.” Despite the breath-stealing view racing off into the misty horizon before them, all Sunset could do was stare into the doily-patterned table cloth. “I love them both deeply, in extremely different ways, but if they’re basically the same Twilight, where’s the line separating my sister from the love of my life?” She groaned. “Even saying it out loud sounds disgusting.” Cadance put a hoof over her mouth. Again, too cute. The mare didn’t have to try, maybe because of all the love magic inside her, and Sunset didn’t really trust anyone that made her want to hug them once and never let go, especially where there was magic involved. Cadance stirred her tea and said, “Well, Twilight’s not your actual sister, is she?” “Well, no, but she’s not your actual sister, either, right? You’re not blood-related, and sure, she’s a sister-in-law, but that’s not why she’s family to you. Sometimes ponies just feel like family. It’s like how Celestia adopted you as a niece. Just because there isn’t a biological connection doesn’t mean she’s not your aunt. It’s kinda the same thing. She raised me and Twilight from when we were fillies like we were her own, and whether or not Twilight looks at it like that, I think I do.” “I’m starting to get the picture,” she said, wincing. “I think what it comes down to is how you see her. There’s nothing objectively wrong with the situation if she’s not your sister, but if you really feel that she is, you can’t be dating her.” Sunset sighed. “Yeah. But that’s an impossible choice to make.” “Well, it’s your choice, Sunset. If it helps, soul-mates don’t have to have a romantic relationship. I’m sure by now you’ve learned how profound and powerful friendships can be, and sisters can be just the same. The magic of love comes in many forms, and one isn’t necessarily less meaningful than the others. What makes a pony your soul-mate is the profound, mystical bond you share. And if you feel that way about Twilight, all that’s left is to decide what it means.” Sunset didn’t know if that qualified as an all that’s left, but she wasn’t about to argue with the Princess of Love over love. Semantics, maybe. She’d gotten into some pretty legendary battles of rhetoric in her time. At one point she’d held the championship belt for the CSGU Debate Team. Come to think of it, she never gave that back… Best not to get hung up over the small stuff. Sunset smiled. “Well, thanks for taking the time for me on your break.” Their steaming pasta bowls came to the table. The marinara, garlic, and vegetables smelled suspiciously like heaven, complementing Cadance’s smirk. “How can I say no to a free lunch with my favourite cousin?” Blushing slightly, Sunset raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “Seriously? I was such a brat to you growing up.” Cadance put on a smile. “Not more than Blueblood.” They both broke out laughing, and while cackling Sunset tried to get out, “The standards are so low!” “He was so terrible!” The laughter spilled out until there was nothing really left to spill. Cadance huffed, wiping her eyes. “He can be sweet, when he wants to be. He came to visit Aunt Celestia and stayed the whole day.” “Whoa, really?” Sunset whistled. “That bar’s starting to raise a little.” Cadence worked the noodles around her fork. “Don’t worry. He’s still no real competition. You may not have been my favourite pony to foalsit, but you’ve come along way since then and you weren't all bad, back then. I missed you when you left. It was hard to know you were in pain when nopony could reach you.” "You... really?" She saw Cadance nod with her own eyes, but she couldn't trust them. Not with them prickling like that. "Wow, I... I don't know, I guess I just never thought..." She let loose a breath. "Ponyfeathers, now I feel even worse about how I treated you." Sunset bit her cheek and paused. “You know, I don’t know if you could guess, but there was a reason I was awful to you—besides the whole spoiled-rich-kid-gone-rogue thing I had going on. When you became an alicorn, I wasn’t in the best head-space, and it messed with me. I wanted that for so long, I even thought that’s what Celestia might’ve wanted from me. I couldn’t take it when it happened to some stranger I’d never even met. But, I’m sorry that being power-crazy kinda made me hate you for a while there. You didn’t deserve that. You're a good cousin, even if we're not really family.” After biting her lip, Cadence leaned forward. “Is that the only reason?” Sunset’s brow slammed together. “What do you mean?” “Well, you just said it yourself. You think of Celestia as a mother. When I first became an alicorn, there were so many new responsibilities. Moving into the royal chambers, taking on leadership. It was overwhelming to say the least, but through it all, I got to be right by her side. Isn’t that what you really wanted?” “I wanted a lot of things," she muttered. "It wasn’t just that.” “Then, what? “Well... you know! She adopted you.” Trying to hide her eyes, Sunset took this opportunity to check out the view. “A-as a niece, I know, it’s not—it’s different, and you deserved it—” “Sunset, it’s okay. She’s my aunt. I understand. I know what it’s like to look up to her. Or want to help her when she pulls away.” Sunset’s eyes fluttered up, ringed with tears. “She did that to you, too, huh?” “And she wonders where her students get it from,” she said, nodding. There was a saying about Canterlot: Anypony who got lost wasn’t very observant. There was some truth to that. No matter where a pony was in the city, they could always see the castle. A younger Sunset liked that because the world seemed to revolve around that castle that was quite literally at the center of the country. Now it just reminded her she couldn’t escape the fact that her mom was dying up there. Sunset glared at the southeast tower. “Well this time she has to let us help. I haven’t given up on finding a cure. I just don’t know where to look…” Cadance smiled. “I might have a suggestion.”     “Right this way, Miss Shimmer,” said the guard, pulling back the obscenely heavy and needlessly tall doors into the throne room. She nodded to Sunset, then stood at attention outside. I know where the throne room is. The doors collapsed in behind her, making the kind of sound that could start an earthquake. The relatively non-existent buzz of magic and quill scratching couldn’t possibly fill those horseshoes afterward. Even Sunset’s own hoof-steps, muffled in the rug, couldn’t compare to this place. Walking down this great hall was nowhere near the same. Sort of like when she’d gone back to Canterlot High to tutor her friend’s sisters in Calculus. The halls bent the same, but the walls were covered with all new posters and filled with strange faces she didn’t recognize. If she could multiply a feeling, this would be it. The last time she was here, she bawled apologies into her old teacher’s coat. The time before that, she left for another dimension. Now, she couldn’t stop herself from staring at the new stain glass-windows. New posters, strange faces. Gorgeous colours and cute renditions of Twilight and her friends’ likenesses, she had to admit, all alight leaving colourful shadows on the floor and catching dust motes in their midday light. How many adventures had Twilight had? She couldn’t have gone through all this. There was almost more of her and her friends then there was of the princesses, and even more were still ahead with plain fixtures as if she just assumed there were still at least one or two more unbelievable stories ahead of her. At the head of the room, Princess Luna bowed her head to her adviser. “Thank you, Night Watch. We’ll speak more of the schedule at a later time. I wish to have a private meeting.” The squat batpony over-estimated how grand he needed to make that bow. “Yes, my grace, of course, my grace, whatever grace wants.” He packed up his little scroll and left as silently as he could, which left Sunset alone in a room with a pony she’d never been alone with before. She hadn’t expected that thought to send a chill through her. “Sunset Shimmer,” Princess Luna said on her way down from the main throne. She didn’t meet her halfway but thankfully closed the distance before Sunset had to go too close to the thrones themselves. Instead, Luna’s meditative calm drew her in. “I’ve hoped for a chance to meet with you for far too long.” The sheer gravitational pull of the Princess’s gaze made Sunset almost forget to bow. By the time she remembered, her blush was hot. “Thank you for finding time for me, Princess.” Luna took Sunset by the hoof and helped her to stand. “You’re too close to my sister’s heart to lower yourself here. You may be my subject, but I should think my sister’s ex-protégé and current student of Princess Twilight has some right to stand on her own hooves.” Sunset pushed back her bangs. “Well, I’m still not even really sure if I count as that second one, but thanks.” She took a breath and managed a grin. “You’re not too busy, are you?” “In truth, I have not been anything but ‘too busy’ since taking my sister’s mantle. It makes me wonder why I was ever so intent on ruling alone.” “I know the feeling,” she said, trying to laugh. “Still, I’m glad we could finally meet one-on-one. We can get into all the sentimental stuff later. I wanted to ask you a few questions about alicorn illnesses.” She took out Alicorn Ailments and the other books she and Twilight had previously had Luna translate for them and flipped through the pages, stopping on bookmarked passages. “A friend of Twilight’s can’t identify anything in any of her samples no matter how many times she retests them, but this is the only thing that makes any kind of sense. Look again. Do you think any of these could be what she’s got now? If anypony could recognize it, it'd be you.” Luna took the books in her magical grasp and flipped through a good number of pages, but after a careful read, came away shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Sunset Shimmer. If I knew what was afflicting my sister, I would have told you. I’ve never once encountered the kind of sickness she suffers.” Sunset let out a breath that was distantly related to a scoff. “Not even once?” Luna shook her head. “Nothing has come close, and it certainly cannot come from any of these books. All of these illnesses died out thousands of years ago.” Sunset’s pupils narrowed, her eyes darting between the books. “Well, maybe it’s just one of these neither of you ever saw. Is there any chance at all, absolutely any, that Celestia was sick when she became an alicorn? Maybe it’s just something she’s fought off for thousands of years without knowing it. I know it sounds implausible, but this is the only resource we have with sicknesses the doctors didn't know about. If they couldn't find any modern disease, it has to be something in here. And if something maybe triggered something dormant in her, it could explain why you don’t recognize it.” Princess Luna floated the books back to Sunset. “A creative thought, but impossible. My sister and I were born alicorns, before Equestria was founded. Our immortality was a birthright.” Sunset took the books back in her magical grasp. She still had a headache from crying earlier. Even if she couldn’t stop her eyes from heating up again, she could stop herself from breaking down in front of yet another princess. She grit her teeth to keep her eyes from shining. “So… that’s it. All diseases known to ponykind and we still don’t know what’s wrong with her.” A firm hoof helped to keep her in check, but she hadn't expected the rawness in the voice that followed. “Fearing the worst often leads us closer to it. Don’t lose your courage. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed. How you even found these old tomes is a mystery to me.” Sunset paused, letting her mind jump away from the unimaginable. They hadn't told her when they were having them translated because they just assumed she would recognize them. “They aren’t yours? From the old observatory?” Luna’s whole expression flipped until what she said made her seem a bit hypocritical. “The observatory is still open?” “No, it’s, uh, boarded-up.” Sunset became keenly aware of how hard Luna was pressing her hoof into her shoulder. “Sorry.” Princess Luna shut her eyes and sighed so deep her entire body sagged, and her hoof returned to the plush of the rug. “No. You bear good news. That observatory never belonged to me. It was my sister’s.” Sunset stared at her. “Okay, I don’t know if I’m the only one who can see this, but it has a giant mural of your cutie mark on the floor. I think it’s reasonable to assume it had something to do with you. Why would she design it like that if it wasn’t meant for you?” Turning back to her, Luna opened her thousand-year-old eyes. “It was a shrine.” Her brow released. A beat passed where things connected in her mind. The star-maps. The glass rooftop. The telescope. It was like seeing a constellation for the first time in a cluster of stars she’d seen in the sky all her life. “Oh my Celestia.” Luna’s night-like gaze rested on the daylight in the window. The view didn’t do much but glow in the sun. “Not long after she was forced to send me to the moon, my sister relocated the castle. She’s since confided in me that she felt wrong ruling from our home alone.” Leaning to watch a bird fly out of view, her features scrunched together. “She still neglects to tell me how many moons she used that shrine. Only that she found the strength to leave her mistakes behind her.” The doubt on Sunset’s face couldn’t have been clearer, but she nodded, coming up beside her at the window. “Carrying around your past gets pretty hard.” The Princess regarded the little unicorn beside her. “I should thank you, Sunset Shimmer.” “That’s something I don’t hear everyday,” she said, edging towards sardonic. A more graceful version of a smirk appeared on the Princess’s face as she turned to face forward. “I believe she moved on from losing me by teaching you.” Sunset just about did a double-take. From one look, Sunset could tell the princess was serious. Then, she too stared ahead, eyes as wide and round as the sun itself. After a moment, her expression fell closer to the shadows behind the throne than the light in front of them. “Creative thought.” “You don’t believe she treated you differently than most?” The Princess had her eyebrow perked, but Sunset was too busy finding cracks in the marble floor to see. “Like you deserved all of Equestria? Like you hung the moon?” Sunset’s brow furrowed, glaring. “She’s told me herself. She saw so much of me in you. Your anger, your pride, your ambition.” The whites of Luna’s teeth looked so much more pure against the darkness in her coat. “All the attention you could ever want, an entire kingdom promised to you. You were spoiled rotten.” She nodded, pleased with her observation. “Of course you were. My sister spent hundreds of moons wishing she had done the same for me.” You want to believe that. You want to believe any part of it wasn’t all your fault. Sunset scowled, blushing again, which she was getting really sick of doing. Apparently Princess Luna had the same unnerving telepathy her sister seemed to selectively have. She turned toward Sunset, their shadows growing larger on the floor behind them. “I know the impossible task of living with yourself and your mistakes. Our demons aren’t that different, Sunset Shimmer. My sister is a meticulous judge of character, truly. The work you’ve done to come to accept responsibility for your past is commendable, but it will never be complete if you can never let go.” “I… I have,” she told her. “My past is not today. I know that. I have a whole new family. I’ve earned back everyone’s trust. I’ve done a lot of good. I’m proud of who I am now.” “I hope you are.” Princess Luna gave her a smile and began to walk off. “But, some roads are longer than they appear.” Startled, Sunset lifted her head. The princess had all but vanished. She frowned. How was it possible that Celestia’s sister was even more cryptic than her?     On her way out of the throne room, Sunset took her buzzing journal from her jacket pocket. Taking a short walk around the corner, so the palace guards wouldn’t be looking directly over her shoulder at her gay journal writing, she flipped to the latest page. Sunset, I need to tell you something. It’s kind of a long something, so bare with me. After talking to the girls about it for a long time (by which I mean months), they’ve finally convinced me: I worry a lot. An excessive amount, actually. But, most of the time, I only worry about things when they matter a lot to me. Admittedly, that can get to be disproportional to the amount that it actually matters, but I think because of that when something comes into my life that really does matter, it’s that much more intimidating. All this to say, I wish I wasn’t so scared or good at imagining the worst, but I’m not going to let our relationship suffer because I am. I love you. I want a future together. And, I’ve been meaning to ask you There was a pause in the writing before Twilight wrote, would you move in with me? Sunset stared at the page and had to reread the words. Twilight backpedaled at lightning speed. I mean, I could always move in with you, the place doesn’t matter. We can compare rent, space, and comfort levels in each living area. Or, we could even compare third options and I promised I wouldn’t ramble and I’m sorry but I don’t want to cross anything out now because I meant all of it. The rambling wasn’t the reason Sunset’s head was whirling. She wanted to say yes, dear Celestia did she want to say yes. But, if she did, who in Tartarus would she be moving in with? Her girlfriend? Her sister? Could she even tell the difference anymore? When did she let things get so screwed up? Things had started off so well. She could remember herself back then, at graduation. The whole of Canterlot City came out for an evening on the green of the football field. Or, it felt that way, standing backstage, peeking out from behind the black curtains propped up by the makeshift stage the students had put together the day before. How they managed to fill the whole field was beyond Sunset. Then she looked out at the seas of faces. Canterlot High, the entirety of Crystal Prep, and even a few alumni of Camp Everfree, all waiting for her. “Nervous?” Hearing that voice, her lips didn’t work like they were supposed to. Because of it, her smile was probably really doofy. She let the curtains fall back in place and tried to suppress at least some of the goofiness. “A little.” She stopped and relinquished all hope of containing the goof-factor. “Wow.” The graduation gown covered Twilight’s dress, but Rarity wasn’t one to let to let a little thing like full-body coveralls stop her from designing the perfect outfit. Between the softness of her make-up, to the gorgeously cute up-do, to even the bow-tie that made her eyes pop, Sunset didn’t know what to do with herself. Really. Her arms felt all awkward and lanky all of the sudden. Were they supposed to be at her sides? Crossed? She didn’t have pockets. Should she have pretended she had pockets? Fiddling with her hair, Twilight blushed through the slight rouge already highlighting her cheeks. “Good wow?” Sunset nodded. “Beautiful.” “Well.” Twilight cleared her throat to make it through the most adorable squeak. “You’re pretty wow yourself.” They giggled at their own really bad joke. Bad jokes had kinda been their thing senior year. All their friends (except Pinkie, who knew the artistry of a properly bad joke) were dying slow painful deaths because of it. Half of what they said barely met the requirements for a joke, and a surprising amount of them were science-based. Sleep deprivation from staying up so late doing homework and texting made them crack up way too easily. And, as they’d later realize, crushing on someone can make a girl goofy. Twilight got her wits back first. “Would going over your speech again make you less nervous? Practice usually calms me down.” “Actually,” she said with a light smile, “I think just having you here helps.” So that’s what a mental high-five feels like. “That’s good,” Twilight said. “Because as your salutatorian, I’m supposed to stay by your side all night.” At a later point in the relationship, Sunset would admit how uncharacteristically smooth that was. Then Twilight told her she hadn’t known they were flirting and lost all her points. Still, it didn’t take her too long to clue in. She went to work straightening Sunset’s blue and gold tie, which was definitely a ploy to get closer to her. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you have anything to be nervous about. You’re a great public speaker: confident, articulate. You shouldn’t have any problems. And if you do? You’ve got a lot of friends out there to pick up the slack. Plus, Rainbow Dash promised she’d start the wave if I messed up too bad in my speech.” “I know, it’s just... we’ve come a long way, haven’t we?” She nodded her head toward the crowd that could be better described as their cheering section. Sunset smiled, looking down. “The old me would’ve used this as an opportunity to brainwash the student body and go on a power-crazed, cross-dimensional rampage.” “And the old me wouldn’t have shown up.” Sunset’s eyes flicked up to hers. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure you would’ve been valedictorian if you hadn’t transferred in so late.” Twilight, noticeably, didn’t step back when she was done with the tie. She shrugged. “My time at Crystal Prep wasn’t the most… personable. Giving a speech in front of all those students about all the great times we shared just sounds like a nightmare.” “I can see how that’d be a little intimidating,” she said, nodding. “But I bet you still would’ve rocked it. Even if you had to improvise a few cherished memories and stuff it full of inspirational filler.” Twilight raised an eyebrow, laughing. “You have a lot of faith in me.” “Yeah,” she said. “I do.” “Why is that?” Twilight fiddled with the friendship bracelet Pinkie demanded all the girls wear. It was both cheesy and symbolic. Something about how their friendships would all survive graduation. Whatever it meant, they weren’t allowed to take them off all night, and it only really gave Twilight something else to fidget with. “You’ve always had faith in me, even right after the Friendship Games when I turned into a demon. It’s not like I’d done anything to earn it. How could you be so sure?” It only really dawned on Sunset now how close they were. “Maybe because I’d been through it myself,” she said, speaking lower and moving just slightly closer. “But honestly? Because the more I got to know you, the more I felt like I’d met somebody special. Someone who just… trusted me, who could understand me in a way no one in the entire multi-verse could. And I wanted you to feel the same way about me.” Twilight was moving closer, too. Her eyes dropped. “You make it sound like I didn’t.” Their eyes met again and closed before Twilight Sparkle finally got a kiss. Perhaps not the most artful, and definitely not their best work in comparison to what was to come, but when all was said and done, they’d later decide magical was a good descriptor. They separated when they heard Principal Celestia’s voice over the intercom. “And now, it’s my pleasure to introduce to you your valedictorian and salutatorian, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle.” They could hear the crowd absolutely erupt with cheers. Sunset heard a small noise like a gasp beside her. All that for two demons. Sunset offered her hand. “Ready to lose some hearing?” “Let’s.” Twilight took her hand in hers and they walked out together on stage. No word of a lie, that had been one of the best nights of Sunset’s life. Not just because of the after-party, or their friends going berserk trying to congratulate them, but she finally felt like she had a future instead of a past. Now, staring at the yellowed pages in front of her, she didn’t know a single thing about the future. The hoofsteps barreling towards her brought her back into the present like an alarm-clock dragging her out of a dream. “Sunset!” Princess Twilight rushed toward her, full on galloping across the castle hall. “We have to figure something out. Now.”