- Member Since 12th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Monday
badassgrunt
Creating crossovers that shouldn't exist.
badassgrunt
Joined 12th Apr, 2012 ·
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What happens after I killed myself?
Seriously. That's my actual name you used. Not that I'm complaining. Just laughing about it.
I hate short one-shots like this, they end just as soon as they get good. I want to see how this ends up effecting the others, and the long-term effects.
I think the story ends a bit prematurely, and also I feel like Celestia severing all ties with the Elements is too extreme especially since they still don't get what they did wrong because neither pony explained it to them.
Other than that it was okay.
7730064 I agree a bonus chapter would be good, like a few years later or something not even that, maybe just a month or a week
I also want the others to understand and I would have rather had twilight hear that conversation being the student and all not to mention that even when applejack said celestia didn't want them she was just confused instead of the devestation I would think she'd feel
Well, that was fairly pointless. After a deeply OOC story, some Ponies start acting IC so some sort of "justice" can take place.
(Why is it that the Ponies need punishment when it's the authorwhich has turned them into assholes and tormented Jason?I mean, the anti-Conversion Bureau stories out at least started out in part as attacks on Chatoyance and her views, but this story seems more angry at the Bad Ponies.
)
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Your concerns have been noted. I might write more chapters.
I wonder if twilight shall go on an insane quest to prove she did nothing wrong with some of the others a self-discovery journey to regain the princess favor but she really is in denial she did anything horrible and maybe start hating other species, cultures and ponies looking for faults and every "evils" to judge slowing going off the deep end to crusade to "fix" things with maybe for the final straw being the magic element realizing a new bearer/keeper is needed for it power.
7731157 I agree with the others, it needs more chapters.
After i saw the other stories (canon or not), I knew this story was going to appear sooner or later.
I'm just glad it did! :D
7730067
Celestia was probably too horrified about what she just learned to really process it all at once. She sent a friend of hers to go make friends with 6 ponies she cherishes and trusts completely, in order to make him feel welcome. Then she finds out that they treated him like a monster, didn't bother to learn his name, and caused him to commit suicide. The revelation that she misjudged them THAT severely, and it caused a friend of hers to lose the will to live, probably was too much for her to take. She also probably feels that it's partially her fault for sending him there in the first place. Makes sense that she wants nothing to do with them anymore, and she's probably too emotionally devastated to respond to the situation in character.
Applejack is probably feeling similar. She also says at the end that she doesn't even care if her friends know where they made a mistake.
7731577 It also doesn't help the fact that celestia took YEARS just to get a visit and check on him.
being royalty must suck, a lot....
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Honestly that seemed like a plot hole in the original story.
7731844 True, it was never explained WHY she never even look for him, considering they were "friends"
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Or considering that she has indeed visited Ponyville several times in the show itself. The idea that she never bothered to ask "Oh by the way Twilight, how's Jason? You know, the alien.", is a bit far fetched. However that's a plot hole from the original story, so it's kind of grandfathered in.
Celestia is in pure shock, just as much as Applejack is. Good chance in time she will return and confront the girls and pull them up by the short hairs and demand explanations. But it just wasn't them, it was the whole town.
I wish you made sequels from eatch of the ponies views after they got "banned" by celestia.
Well. I can certainly say you helped spark me out of my writer's block.
Nothing against you or the story, but I'm starting to get sick of all these sequels with their "Jason's back for revenge!" or "oh no, now that I see that he's dead, I'm going to suddenly realize all my sins and regret everything." I mean, the first couple were alright, and there's some pretty good ones out there. But let me ask you, what happens when we put down a dog? Nothing. Maybe the owners will cry for a bit, but life moves on. And that's what should happen here.
I don't believe (emphasis on I) that the original author intended for the ponies to be interpreted as ponies, but rather as humans--and so their thoughts should be treated as such. So now I'm going to go write my own short little sequel, and nobody's going to notice because it doesn't pander to any edgelord fanboys such as myself, and it's going to get 50 views and a 3:1 dislike/like ratio and I'm going to love it.
Once again, nothing against your story, this was just the most convenient location for me to rant right now.
I'd love to see a follow up to this. just a taste of how Twilight's suffering at such abject failure would be so, so sweet...
I can't see Celestia finishing the story this way. Yes, she would be horrendously offended, but she is too much a teacher to leave it at this.
Not to mention that Twilight and the others are the Element Bearers, the nation's greatest weapons. Cutting off all ties to your WMD stockpile is honestly not terribly smart.
seems a bit of a sudden end, not a real follow through, the rest of the story was awesome but the ending feels like it needs more.
7730064 i drink to that.
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This. It felt rushed, and excessively harsh on the part of Celly. I mean, there was no investigation, just a cut and drop.
8049664 an investigation would publicly ruin the mane 6 and likely put them on criminal charges.
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And if that happened, so be it, no? She obviously was disgusted with the behaviour, so if the investigation turned up nothing but their own apparent prejudices (and the fact that the whole town was just as bad), then bad reputation deserved.
But what if there were factors at play? Mind altering magic?
So, in summation:
Result A - Turns out the ponies of Ponyville are a bunch of Xenophobes, with Princess Xenophobe in charge. Princess possibly stripped of her title, and the town becomes a cautionary tale of the evils of xenophobia.
Result B - Some factors, magical or otherwise, were at work to turn the town against outsiders (perhaps specifically humans). If that is the case, and the situation is resolved, then so much the better for future potential victims. Also, Celestia will perhaps reconnect with Twilight and the rest of the Mane 6.
Seriously though, their out-of-proportion suspicion, to say nothing of the direct abuse, of the human warrants investigation as a matter of course. The only reason not to investigate would be the political embarrassment, which if it came out that it was basically covered up, wouldn't reflect well on Celestia.
A bit rushed to be honest. But it was okay
I really wanted to see Twilight's reaction to to Celestia's decision.
I must say i did enjoy the short story but i feel the punishment was not... worthy... it was to lenient... it leaves a sour teste but it works, I honestly want to know how Luna must have felt as she herself doesn't have many friends that i know of but I'm sure her devastation will be great, i feel the town got off easy, but at the same time... guilt... is a powerful and destructive emotion that if not fixed will spread like a mold rotting you to the very core and as they cannot fix this i feel the whole town should share the responsibility of there... black heart'ed actions... i pity the boy and honestly may he rest in peace, but to me thoughts pony's got off easy from a powerful raging storm
*wipes eyes*....I'm sad now...
I'm going to say this as a human. I HATE the ponies that all you love.
7747186
Why does this have so many dislikes? :/
He said a disclaimer from the beginning and the end of his rant. Sure it sucks that this story had to bite the bullet since the commenter has his limit with the same problem, it that doesn’t mean to receive the most disliked comment in this fimfic. It fascinates me on how easy it is to offend someone nowadays.
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Where's the story you said was coming?
8991265
Yeah, this is a side that isn't explored all that much. Having friends and going on adventures is all cool, but what happens when you get saddled with a problem far outside of our narrow circle of interest? Most people react this way... and things usually don't go this badly, but then - it's a unique situation.
I'd see more, definitely. I'm pretty sure their little circle of friends would just disintegrate over a few months to a year. Serves them well, or... rather, I guess not. I mean, you have to understand what you did, in order to be really liable for it.
I'd like to be there, hovering in the air, chugging down Cherry Cokes and scarfing down popcorn, as realization hits every. last. one. of them. ;]
The story itself isn't bad. It's loaded to hell, but it ain't bad. On its own merits, I'd say 6/10.
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This is peer pressure. So many people 'demanding ' another chapter.
Nice work on the story. There are not enough stories where an alicorn or the main 6 does something stupid and gets punished for it.
Good story, was just hoping to see how this effected the other's with Celestia's verdict towards them.
I can actually relat to this story, as I suffer through these same mental issues.
Her reaction is surprisingly tame, but a lot of people tend to react like that, and I guess it's not different for ponies either.
Damn, that’s her mindset?
That’s not 100% true.
What if there’s an attack?
Your spelling is poor, your grammar is quite rough, and there is no resolution, thus making the story pointless. Did you put any effort into this?
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She wants them to suffer like he did. She’s holding it back although barely
Applejack you did the right thing and everyone else except for the princess I hope all of you suffer and fluttershy I have to say I am very no extremely dissaponaint in you right now for shame.
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Yeah me too since Twilight's birth home and family live there. Well minus Shining Armor
This ending is weird, and very ill thought out. No more contact with a fellow princess and the elements of harmony? Just like that. Atleast something official needs to be done.
The ending feels rushed or tacked on.
11532747
This is a oneshot off of another story that occured before Twilight's status was considered important outside of the Element of Magic and let's be honest her title as Princess didn't really mean or have much of an effect until later seasons. It's meant for people who have read that original story. There are other stories that came out later that further expanded on this type of aftermath but this was one of the first and as a oneshot this works just fine. What happens after this is meant to be left to our imaginations and I myself am grateful for it because it's one of the tales that inspired others to write stories further expanding on alternate endings and aftermath for the original. I know of at least 2 (one of which is a sequel to one of the variant sequels) that are fairly new and have updated in the last week