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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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There needs to be a way to do some official censure of the princess’s. Yes Twilight was in the wrong here but Cadance needs to be even more called out on her behavior in what happened. If she hadn’t meddled Twilight would have possibly joined the heard when her issues where understood. Now because of Cadance’s arrogance Twilight will suffer both psychically and socially.
Cadence is basically going "So sorry, but the wants and needs of my sister in law, who is a Princess, are FAR more important than you silly little commoners. As the Princess of Love I say her need for love is more important than the love your herd currently has. And how was I supposed to know he wouldn't do what a stallion normally would in such a situation."
this can only end well or in tim's death one of the two
Roll credits.
8583663
The thing is, they are not human. They live in a stratified society where there is a tiny ruling caste that is objectively superior in personal magical power to all other ponies. Royalty does have greater rights in said society. Not only that, but they value redemption and recognizing mistakes.
All in all, Twilight & Cadence feeling bad for it will have to suffice. Also, they'll have to talk.
Uhh, yeah? I mean I get that it's important y'all aren't debilitated by estrous, but I've gotta reckon that the rulers of the free world could manage to procure more than sufficient quantities of cock without resorting to droit du seigneur.
well i can see this getting worse much worse before it even starts to get better.
a awesome chapter.
love the art work.
The drama in this story is getting better, still I dislike the herding style you when with.
Oh boy. Here's hoping Cadance WON'T be a Karma Houndini.
Yeah I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe Cadance or Twilight's actions are supposed to be acceptable even by Equestrian standards. They both need good slaps across the face in my opinion, but everyone not in Tim's herd seems determined to make excuses for them or hide them behind their royal status.
8583668
Yeah, this pretty much sums up exactly how I interpret Cadance's actions. She can take the whole 'of love' part of her title and shove it up her plot.
I don’t like the implications of where this is going. Twilight and Cadance have received zero censure for what has been admitted as an illegal act, but get the Princess get out of jail free card, safely allowing an excuse for the guy to have his herd but still bang the chick who can look human.
I’m completely in Citrus’ camp at this point, they’ve done nothing that actual action on Tim’s part couldn’t have corrected. Tim being almost completely passive and then bemoaning his situation gets zero sympathy. And Twi and Cady are so out of character I could care less how they feel.
Overall I think there was either a timing or execution error in how this arc has been handled, but I’ve lost my enthusiasm for this tale of late. Still willing to see if things turn around however.
I could see one fix here, and it'd take making a Princess into the most junior mare- for good. Perhaps if she gets to understand what it's like having to protect stallions, the lesson on taking them would be learned.
okay this seems like a time celestia would step in, not for legal punishments no, but to draw the line with cadence and tell her niece that she really needs to back the hell off. i don't care if cadence is the alicorn of love, she's not being a voice of reason, she's acting on wants not needs. please have celestia call her out.
8583711
technically they can be censored by a higher power, which given what we've seen is celestia.
8583762 8583711 8583668 8583663 8583903 8583821 8583754
Do rest assured something is coming. All the princess will be gathered for the gala, Citrus hasn't given up, and Luna and Cadance both said that there are things that could be done for restitution. Royal privilege more accurately means that a princess can assert right to bed a stallion, not that all involved have to be happy about it or take it lying down. Cadance was trying to calm Citrus before, as she said, things got bloody. They are not a nation of laws, but rather a form of might makes right.
*squee*
New chapter!
Yes, I read these at work.
8583918
it's more that cadences entire speech was along the lines of 'just give up, you can't win agianst us, we're in the right your in the wrong because we say so' i can't in any measure of the world see celestia letting her get away with this without at least a good ear lifting, if not public censure.
8583918
Really? 'Cause Equestria seems to have a pretty vibrant economy for a place where whoever has the biggest stick can take what they want. Might makes right isn't traditionally very conducive to capital investment.
8583918
Spoiler much?!
8583958
Equestria is a dicatorship. Most historical societies have been like that, and arguable most nations in the world are still more or less like that beneath varying claims to be democracies. The princesses have the biggest stick and they use it to make the small folk behave. In the show, they don't seem to have many laws beyond "if a princess smiles upon it, it's okay". Personally excusing a bit of adultery is a lot less than they've done on other occasions, like unilateral pardoning persons who violated others' basic rights, tried to overthrow the government, and end the world (COUGH Starlight Glimmer COUGH) -- Equestria is mostly a medieval / early modern world with most of its morals being Enlightenment era at best. The cultural ideal of Harmony looks a lot like ideas like the Invisible Hand or Great Chain espoused in Classical Liberalism. And don't forget that in our own world, the idea of equality under the law was a pretty shockingly new one barely even 200 years ago, and to this day, in much of the world, proper legal quality is oftentimes at most played lip service if not simply ignored.
8583956
Well, I can't say anything, because it's still cooking, but there are ideas... Cadance did try to extend an offer and understanding, but Citrus quite rightly didn't want to hear it. More to come in the following chapters.
8583961
Nobody's getting killed or dismembered. Sorry to disappoint you.
8583986
I can arrange that!
And work clop during it!
Self lubrication on a new level?! Huh?
8583986
Most human societies didn't have a Manehattan. Most human societies were a tiny cadre of elites ruling over a vast swath of unfree agricultural laborers. And any place that got big enough to have large cities and complex trade networks was a heck of a lot more legalistic than anything you could describe with the words "might makes right".
8584029
There's more than one absolute monarchy in the world. And from the looks of things, Suadi Arabia, Qatar, andthe UAE, all of which are absolute monarchies, would both blow Equestria out of the water. Prosperity doesn't entail a break from might makes right authoritarianism. Mass protest movements backed by the local elites do. Most places with might makes right operate with the idea of "behave this way, or there will be painful consequences". Law-based society is actually a kinda weird thing. The princesses technically are dictators. They're just really nice ones.
just another amazing chapter
an the new cover art is awesome i just love it
To give a tl;dr for comment skimmers, one can summarize it by pointing out we the reader are understanding Tim's viewpoint because he is human, as are we. The ponies of this verse have an alien mindset and culture to our own, making their deeper motivations different and strange at times. An interesting, yet tricky thing to present.
*sips coffee with a faint smile*
See, this is why I don't jump to sudden conclusions with a story I read, giving things a chance to play out a bit longer to see where the author was going. When a read becomes uncomfortable, one has to ask themselves if the author is making mistakes...or if they are playing your emotions entirely on purpose, for whatever story-driven reason.
The substantial nuances of this whole situation are myriad and complex. Getting them all right can be a nightmare, and the smallest things can throw off the resulting implications well away from the original intent, subsequently changing the message.
That said, now that more of the story has been revealed, I can say bravo. I understand a lot of what happened now. And although some of the nuances were rougher than desired in getting there, it all makes a lot more sense. In presenting the culture clash between human and pony perspectives in these deeper issues, I feel like I have experienced a little of what Tim has gone through in his lack of understanding Citrus and his herd. Conversely, I understand why Citrus was subtly and accidentally ignoring Tim's hidden tension as a result of the mistaken expectation that Tim would be more like a stallion, rather than a man. Neither of them has properly appreciated just how different they can be in some things. Something they're going to properly work on at last.
No amount of similarities can change things that are different. Wishful thinking does not make everything better. Real relationships, even when there are no huge culture differences, are still tremendously challenging and require substantial communication to make it work. Here's to hoping this plays out in the story in further interesting ways.
And that Twilight gets to be happy and laid more often because she's my waifu.
8583986
Not even gelded? just a little? bitten off? bucked in the groin by AJ? bucked anywhere near the groin by maud?
For this Citrus's only real option would be to take it up with Fleur. Trust me on this, if you break out the heraldic guide and look closely at Fleur's cutie mark... and understand how dark age/early middle age court work... you'll know what i'm talking about.
I still don't understand what exactly Cadance thought she was going to accomplish with this. I'd guess she expected Tim to try the exposition-revealed 'extra-herd sex procedure', although how that would happen when Citrus was in Canterlot and therefore out of contact (and didn't like Twilight anyway) ...
but what would have been the point? Just hoping that once the humping started everything would work out?
8584046
Did you notice that all of those countries have something in common? Yeah, they all have relatively small populations and are situated where you only need to dig a hole to get hot and cold running money. And even so, they were only able to exploit that wealth to become more than a handful of semi-nomadic camel herders because a bunch of countries with silly things like property rights and enforcement of contracts had stable enough economies to develop to the point where they could actually use all of that sticky black stuff.
Wow. At this point, I dislike everyone involved with this situation. Cadence for being an arrogant bitch, Twilight for hiding behind her privilege, Citrus and the rest of the herd for the way they're treating Tim and Silver, and Tim for being a spineless little shit. Good job for building a coherent picture of how your universe's herding works and how it applies to this situation - but you've managed to make absolutely no-one a figure of sympathy here.
I bring you all Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, The Herd-wrecker!
8584252
That is however, exactly how shit goes down in the real world. Manipulators manipulate, The powerful pull privilege, racism and sexism is very much in play, no mater what people tell you. and the little guy is so flustered that he doesn't have a clear view what to do.
And yes that does mean were all assholes and were all more or less unlikable.
The Monk
8584164
Its my personal opinion that Cadance expected the herd to kick Tim out. Tim having no place else to go would gravitate to Twilight.
The Monk
8584364
Not ... exactly sure what you're doing here. I didn't say it wasn't realistic, I said it portrayed them all in a poor light. The 'welcome to adulthood' jab was quite uncalled for.
There are a lot of things Tim needs to get used to, but his herd needs to learn that they will have to adjust to certain things for him as well. He isn't their kind, they can't treat him as if he was.
Ah, proper communication;that which has been missing from day one. Time to address that and start healing the wounds.
That won't be easy, but nothing worth fighting for ever is.
Also, there should be repercussions for Cadance. Twilight, Tim and his herd suffer now because of her.
8584465It was ment to be more tongue and cheek. However I can see how it could easily be misread as a jab. Was not meant as such.
Comment fixed.
The Monk
8584492
Proper communication is vital to a good family life. I took long enough realizing it. The basic fact is, it's hard to do. And so there is the conflict. Can you imagine how many books and plays and movies could be condensed down quite a bit... With proper communication?
8584499
No worries.
My muse got a real kick out of this chapter and took it in a bit of a fanciful direction.
-------------------
Luna buries her face in the tea, her face coloring all the way down her chest, she nods. “Twelve. They rotate out – our body, experience, and passion make us exceedingly difficult mates to cope with –"
"Wait, wait, wait. Time out!" Interrupts Tim.
Luna stops and looks up with a raised eyebrow.
Tim smirks. "So what you're telling me is that while it normally takes a dozen stallions to satisfy you to the point where you can think clearly and be yourself again, it only takes little-old me to do the same for Twilight, correct?"
Luna huffs. "That is not the point I am –"
"True or False?" Tim leans back as he crosses his arms.
Luna grinds her teeth for a moment, then sighs. "This was an unusual occurrence, for certain, but I suspect Twilight's altered form was –"
Tim stands up and raises both arms in the universal "Touchdown" stance.
"He shoots, he shoots again, and he shoots one more time for good measure! And BOY does he ever score!"
Luna gapes. "Tim, this isn't a time for braggary. If you want to –"
Tim ignores the visiting royal and turns around. "Pinkie! Hey, Pinkie Pie! It's official! I am THE most awe-inspiringly awesome with a capital "A" stallion in all of Equestria!"
Confetti fills the kitchen, appearing from everywhere and nowhere. An unmistakable disembodied voice shouts out "Well, that sounds like a good excuse for a dream-party if I've ever heard one!"
Luna cranes her head back and forth, her eyes wide. "Pinkie Pie!? What are you doing in the Dreamrealm?"
Pinkie's head emerges from the princess' cup with an audible "pop." She giggles. "Silly princess. If there's a party going down somewhere, anywhere, or even nowhere, I know about it! Now stop being a party-pooper and get down like a clown and wipe off that frown!" Pinkie's hooves shoot out of the cup, placing a conical hat on Luna's head. When Pinkie and her hooves retreat and disappear where the came from, there is an audible "snap" as the hat's elastic band hits Luna's jaw.
Music starts from somewhere some distance away and the Princess of the Dream Realm looks up to see they are now in a large barn, Applejack's if her memory serves. A country band plays square dance music at the far end, a caller barking out instructions. Scores of mares advance towards Tim, tails upraised and obviously delighted to see him. Tim's snaps his fingers to the beat as he sashays their way.
"Tim! This is not resolving your herd's issue in a responsible manner!" yells Luna, but the cheers drown out her words as the crowd swallows the human. She sighs and removes her party hat, only to find a wide-eyed Moon Shadow standing with some difficulty on it. Idly, Luna perceives that Moon Shadow is wearing a pinata costume.
Her apprentice opens her mouth to speak, only for a Party Curl Blow Out Whistle Toy to appear instead of words.
"HONK!"
Moon Shadow blinks twice, takes a deep breath, and opens her mouth forcefully. A dozen brightly colored Curl Whistle Toys extend outwards, most hitting her mentor in the face.
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!"
The toys retract, leaving Moon Shadow looking abashed with her ears flattened against her skull.
Luna raises a hoof. "Say ... uh, say no more, student. I believe this is our cue to return when Tim is more open to ... discussion." Considering the hat for a moment, Luna returns it to her head, apprentice still attached. They then disappeared.
8584678
Lmao, bonus points for Pinkie shattering any connection to reality.
8584781
You know what I wish? That Andrea Libman (voice of Pinkie Pie) had a $10 per call service where she could call up an unsuspecting person (a.k.a. YOU) and completely freak you out.
"Hey, Spikey-but-not-Wikey! Can you guess what you'll be dreaming about tonight? I'll give you a completely free-with-no-silly-strings-attached hint! It's going to involve a pink flagging tail and you turning into a nommy pizza when I'm done with you!"
It also occurs to my muse that while Tim is having trouble adapting to Pony culture, it is possible for cultural influence to go both ways…
----------------
Celestia’s wings ruffle in agitation as she continues. Her movement is mirrored by the other three princesses. “… in addition to arriving home late every evening covered by bruises and cuts, your herdmares tell me you are either unable or unwilling to service them as is your responsibility as lead stallion. Moreover, your herd’s second stallion now suffers from the same … afflictions.”
Tim stands in place, his arms folded.
Not receiving a response, the monarch continues. “I’m also getting complaints from mares across Canterlot and now even as far away as Manehatten of similar unhealthy behavior among their stallions while –”
Tim interrupts “Does that include Appleloosa?”
Celestia narrows her eyes. “Yes. As far as I can tell, nearly every stallion is acting strangely.”
Tim snorts. “How so? Did anything unusual happen there lately?”
The diararch frowns, which only deepens when she sees the smirks on two of her Royal Guard. Both are nursing fresh wounds. “You will address the throne with the respect it deserves.”
“No offense intended, Your Highness,” Tim replied, not a bit of deference in his voice or eyes.
Celestia continues. “As you are obviously already aware, a herd of bulls from a second buffalo tribe tried to demolish the town. In response, every able body stallion poured out of their homes and businesses and went mad. They punched, kicked, bit, and gouged the invaders until all involved were too injured or tired to move. Then all involved retired to the town saloon and drank it dry.”
Tim snorts. “Must have been quite a party. Isn’t every day that ponies win the respect and friendship of a bunch of buffalo.” At this, Twilight Sparkle’s ears swivel forwards.
Cadance speaks up. “Indeed. However, we are veering off topic. What exactly have you done to induce such a change with our stallions?”
Tim smiles coldly. “My apologies, Your Worship, but I have sworn an oath.”
Celestia raises her voice. “When you became a citizen of Equestria, you swore to uphold the laws of this land–“
Tim snaps, “You are not the law of this land. You are one of the four rulers. That is an important difference. And what worth is there in a stallion that is an Oath-breaker? None. None, whatsoever.”
He looks across the four monarchs. “If that is all, I think our business is done here.”
Luna raises her head. “Just remember, Timothy. You will be held accountable for your actions.”
For the first time, his eyes lose their anger but not the strength of his conviction. He nods. “As I should be.” Taking this as a dismissal, he turns and leaves the room.
After his steps fade away, Luna says, “I have learned some through the dreams of stallions, of course. Something about ‘rules’ and ‘talking’ that stallions swear to uphold.”
Cadance turns to Shining Armor, standing at his rightful place, respectfully behind his wife. “Shiny. I demand as your wife to know what you know about this.”
All the princesses turn to face him. Surprisingly, he does not wilt under their combined stare. He taps his chin for a moment, then smiles widely, revealing three missing teeth. “I suppose I can tell you this one thing and this one thing only. The first rule is: “You do NOT talk about Fight Club.”
8585156
love it lolol
8584516
Proper communication and common sense (either just one or both) are things that usually miss in pretty much any work of fiction, since things would be resolved pretty much immediately, indeed.
I'm looking forward to see how all of this play out though.
8583821
Yeah, I know this is from one viewpoint, but it feels like we missed a scene or two. One of the main issues I have is for Twilight's actions being off. Cadance says how Twilight's heat has made her come to some horrible truths and she's done horrible things to try and keep it under control. Seeing that instead of being told would have been great! I think it would have made Twilight a bit more...I think the word I'm looking for is empathetic (though not meant to excuse her actions).
Cadance is still horrible with what we have seen and yeah, the last few chapters could easily leave readers feeling negative/ too annoyed to continue. Although, I think that was somewhat where the author wanted the story to go at this point. I'm hooked on what'll happen next (really hoping that it'll end entertainingly). Sorry the story has kinda lost you but I can see why.
8584252
This comment stuck with me enough to respond.
Actually, if you think it over, you might find that was kind of the point. Most of them were being a butt, and the entire situation could have been avoided if they'd all just sat down to talk through things, like Tim's much deeper longing for what he's lost.
It's one of those moments you facepalm at the characters for the very reason that they should have been smarter and more understanding about everything that happened. Instead, everyone's stupid happened, and now they're trying to make up for it with everyone else.
I find the ones responsible for the mess to be a wonderful pile of loveable idiots. Here's hoping they learn their lessons.
Also, in the back of my mind, I hear Rainbow Dash's voice: "What?! Twilight finally got laid, and by an alien?! I can't believe Pinkie won that bet!"
8584781
Please upload more chapters soon as u can I'll be waiting for the next upload
8585574
Agreed, my prevailing feeling is that it’s an execution error in the narrative. I mean, something is going right, because I’m still hanging around hoping this sorts itself out satisfactorily. It’s like eating a really great apple and suddenly biting into a rotten spot. You’re like “Aw dammit!”
Let’s see what happens...
This stuff about alicorn heat kind of rings of pulling from other sources. Not an accusation, as the whole premise of fanfiction involves taking inspiration from other stories we like. I want to say the Weedverse for the foals and, if it doesn't sound too arrogant, mine for alicorns having extra intense heat, though I imagine there are plenty more that I just haven't read.
Also, little misspellings here and there, but the biggest and most consistent typo is the inconsistency of tense. Most of the time it's present, which is already unusual, but the random shifts to past tense are especially awkward.
Okay, this chapter kinda redeems the story. Purplesmart is not a rapist, just got played by Cadance.