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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This won't go well
*Mokey voice* Ooooh boy...
i see 3 things that might happen
1 cirrus bust his balls and forgives him
2 twilight gets pregnante because she was a *human* when tim did the dead(please happen)
3 tim gets put in the hospital to get cirrus hoof out of his ass
I see Cadences hooves all over this incident, Twilight is a lot more in control of herself than this and so is Tim, I don't give a care that Love 'Finds a Way' You don't force others to break social taboos against their will. it never ends well for the affected parties, and you will know that they have suffered when the plan backfires on them. I think this is whats going to break off any chance that Twilight and TIm will get together.
Zero empathy levels for either of these characters now. Waiting to see if this can be salvaged.
You done fucked up a-ron
Didn't his herd already tell him they did not like Twilight.... This is not going to go well at all.
I don't think Citrus should be holding her grudge against Twilight anymore.
Please tell me Tim, Twilight & Citrus will work something out??
8559162
Eh, I thought it was just Citrus that did not like Twilight at all, the others were neutral or apathetic about the princess. The real question is what can Citrus do about it? Is there some Equestrian legal precedent, do they duel at high noon, or because Twilight is a princess and Citrus is a peasant, she will have to stew in her own anger since striking a princess is dungeon time for sure. Not knowing more about this world, any one of these could be the result.
If it was the Medieval Times, it would be the last option since royalty could do pretty much whatever they damn well please and the commoners would have to suck it up and live with it. (Come to think on it, that happens a lot right now if you consider the richest or most powerful)
Twilight's guilt will eat away at her however, I don't see her brushing this off and instead trying to fix it somehow. Hopefully without misguided Time Magic or the like-- we all know how well that turns out.
to tell the truth this is a super good chapter and rather than comment i have a video for my feeling about Tim.
8559226
The thing is, the situation that Tim is in right now, the sadness he feels for messing up, he will explain to Citrus that it is his fault, not Twilight's. Citrus might take this the wrong way making the herd as a whole less stable. Once everyone else in Tim's herd knows... I am worried about the herd itself due to the explanation that Tim will provide. Also, people are always known for blaming someone even if there is no one to blame when something happens to them. Tim's herd will want to blame this on someone, they will blame him if he doesn't explain properly. If he does then twilight gets the blame but Tim likes Twilight even now... This is why Drama is a tag in this story.
8559212
Nope, someone is bound to get hurt here.
I was half-expecting this fling to be dragged out a bit - but hey, diving straight into the drrraaaaaaaa-maaaaaah is cool too! Hahahaha Twilight is so, so screwed. Well, that's a given, but she's also screwed in the metaphorical and much-less-fun way.
I've already said my piece last chapter, so I am just going to wait and read what happens now that poor Twilight has 'cooled down' and is now able to think properly, if there is some kind of conspiracy I hope that it comes to light before to much heartache.
Great chapter Sparky.
P.s. Tim you forget to wash your clothes or roll in something, they are going to have Twilights scent on them.
8559685
I actually know Latin and I am using this example to illustrate indirectly differences in pony dialects. Silver is talking in a dialect which retains some older features, like a complex GNC marking system, which has since been lost in most forms of the language. Remember, they are not speaking English, they are speaking a pony language that gets magically translated for Tim, thus we perceive it as English despite it not really being it.
P.S.: Filia and filius mean daughter and son respectively. The actual words for boy and girl are puer and puella.
I can't help but feel disappointed in all the characters here, except Citrus, who unfortunately gets her feelings about Twilight pretty much proven right in the worst way possible. Tim gets no sympathy because he was doing all his thinking with his dick. I don't care if Twilight could turn herself into an exact copy of his favorite teenage fap subject, if he really cared a lick about his relationship with Citrus and the herd, he would have done everything in his power to say no to Twilight. Twilight gets no sympathy, because, suped-up hormones or no, she'd obviously been planning something like this for some time, given all the effort that went into her human transformation. CADANCE gets no sympathy, because she's been pushing at these two, despite everything, and if she was really worried about something like this happening, she should have kept a better eye on Twilight.
Unfortunately, beyond just the consequences of Tim cheating on his herd, I half expect Twilight to get pregnant from this, given that she stated her transformation was on a genetic level...and oh boy is THAT gonna be a fun ride for everyone...
"Oh, no" indeed, Twilight.
But, in your panicked state, you are overlooking one thing which Tim pointed out - he didn't resist.
... or at least, not much
She'll be a mess the next time the two of them meet, won't she? He'll have to be really, really careful with his words... but at the same time state them clearly and firmly enough to get his point across.
Sure, she did something she normally wouldn't do if it wasn't for her not thinking clearly thanks to hormones, but that was something the both of them absolutely needed.
Also, another thing... Twi was, at least for the most part, human for the entire duration of the act. And while I know that it takes sperm a while to reach the egg, didn't she risk impregnation since they didn't use any protection?
Even if she did turn back, the magic might have turned it compatible to her pony biology, and she was in heat...
She wasn't thinking clearly, so she might have forgotten about that one tidbit.
Probably not, but it would be an interesting twist. The things you overlook when you're distracted.
As for Citrus... that will be a mess too, I presume.
Tim will have to tell her everything. Maybe not the act in explicit detail, but now he will have to tell her how it all led to that, up to and including Twilight's absolute freak-out in the end.
She really needs to know that, while he loves his herd, they haven't been exactly doing a good job at truly listening to him and addressing his concerns - a lot of what they did was pretty much just placating him. Twilight, on the other hand, listened, and took his concerns to heart.
I'm really looking forward to how this will end - it's probably about to be a real mess now, which means that proper communication which will bring everything out into the open will be the key.
They all need to know how Tim's been really feeling. They don't need to only hear, they need to listen. Which is probably going to be really difficult due to the way their society works.
That'll be fun.
High expectations here. No pressure
Yeah, how about no. It feels like you forgot all about what your story was truly about, and now you're knee jerking events to try and bring up some of those original ideas, shoving them back in our face in a poor, poor manner. It's just... a hot mess. I went from truly enjoying this story, to not caring about it, all in the span of the last 2 or so chapters now.
It seriously feels like you truly forgot what your story was about, so obviously drama is corrective action. Meh.
8560681
Considering that my plans for Twi and Tim to be together have been in place since before I wrote a single word of this story, and the basic fact that the scene was planned to be a betrayal of his herd, and be a source of conflict for the story. I don't get what you are saying.
Here's the thing, this story is not just a fish out of water story, where the main character is an outsider trying to fit in. A LOT of stories go into that. As a narrative, it is one of the most solid ways to introduce an alien culture and make it accessible to the readers. But this story is more than that (in my view), it's not just him learning to fit in to their society, but them learning about his social norms as well. Those missteps, between the two cultures, are what is going to make this story happen. Tim has ideas about infidelity, and the ponies have their own ideas. And they aren't going to mesh up perfectly. How Citrus reacts, how Twilight will react in the future, what fallout (if any) will happen to those involved, will be explored in future chapters. Kalash and I have specific plans for Citrus' and the rest of the herd's reactions to this. This is not drama for drama's sake. If there is no conflict, there is no story. Remember, Tim has been brought into the herd, he's (for the most part) expected to be the lead stallion of the herd. But they know he's human in body, they need to understand he's human in his head as well. He won't react as they expect.
As another commenter put it, Twilight was mashing ALL of his buttons. I'm not going to say he was in full control, but I've also established that pony pheremones have an effect on him. He knew he was in the wrong, but his morality was a bit overpowered by the circumstances that Twilight presented him. He is the object of her affection, and her heat clouded mind made her quite a bit more aggressive in pursuing him rather than going through the ways her society has to comfort a lonely mare in heat. She did want to seduce him with that human form, but in a more structured environment. She's in the wrong, he's in the wrong. She has damaged his herd's honor. And that needs to be rectified. Go ahead and read further, and see what happens.
I actually skipped half of the chapter because the clop scene is not that interesting for me.
the sex scenes should be something as a novelty, not something you every 2 chapters, or, if you have to put sex scenes every 2 chapters, at least make them a bit shorter
8561212
I know the feeling, i have more fun with the characterizations...
8561212
It's not that we want it to be a clopfic, but that these chapters are demanding sex scenes due to plot and character importance.
8561398
yep, you and watching your plot lines... though yeh, sometimes the plot holes are what most readers notice...
and get your mind out of the gutter! I don't write clop!
8561620
Dear girl, my mind is never in the gutter, it is the gutter.
8561940
Your mind is the gutter, thats not bad. Sometimes I feel like mine is the gutter fed sewer
8561687
I don't have any clue whether the Sponge I was watching was the modern 'crap' version or the older 'not-crap' version.
All I know is that my younger brother used to enjoy the show, I was forced to watch a couple essentially-random episodes, and I hated it.
Why couldn't it have been a GOOD cartoon, like Batman/Superman: The Animated Series, Danny Phantom, Ben 10 (not reboot), or Batman Beyond...? Or an acceptable one, like..Chowder? Tom and Jerry? Looney Tunes?
Why the most annoying Porifera member in history...?
The only cartoon I really hate more than Sponge is Itchy and Scratchy (a cartoon in a cartoon), because of how repulsively violent and gory it is. I have no idea how Groening thought THIS was a good thing to put in a show kids can watch...
8561116
A bit delayed, but if this was your idea from the start? Well, you've got some balls for deciding on it as a plot point. The execution, I think, is where I have the largest issue with the entire thing though, even though the plot point itself is pure garbage from an entirely subjective point of view. The subjective part isn't important though, the execution that felt lacking and as if you threw things off the rails is important.
You started off really strong with the story. Heavy emphasis on the fact it's a matriarchal dominated society, coupled with the extreme aversion towards Tim, gave two solid plot points to work with. Then, you have the anomaly to the standard, in Citrus. She is the one who sorta helps him out of the hiding place of the castle, and kicks things off. I still think the tense usage it pretty messed up, but it never distracted too much from the reading, so I think I only commented on it once before moving on.
Anyways, your story rolls along, we see some of the further aversion as Tim is dunked, head first, into pony society. You bring out some, ah, interesting concepts, especially the whole 'mares provide for their stallions who should sit on their asses at home and be busybodies' (which well... rubs the wrong way, but it's your story, fine.) for the mares. But, life starts moving on, and your focus seems to drop the whole 'ponies view Tim with heavy aversion' and move to purely focused on herd activities, and herd life, with a little bit of Twilight put in.
This viewpoint lasts long enough that it becomes the central focus, and you lose all sight on Tim himself in terms of his issues as the Slice of Life sets in. The herd expands, and expands and lives together more, and then you introduce the stallion and bam, now he's in the herd as well. Twilight makes a few visits, enough to show that yes, she's interested in Tim as an individual, and she seems to understand, though is unable to properly convey it, Tim to some degree. Enough that there could very well be a deeper connection.
Then, the train wreck starts to happen from what feels like a poorly handled execution of your idea, as you suddenly dump issues that had been pretty much neglected or left to fallow by this point, and bring them right back to the forefront. All notion of respect for individuals seems to get tossed out of the window, by and for most of the characters we read about. Twilight, despite being a princess, is pretty much called a bitch by Cayenne or Citrus (I don't recall who it was) and that Twilight can effectively burn in Tartarus when it comes to joining the herd. Very, very strong language and a sign of extreme disrespect there, especially for, you know, one of their country's princesses. Then, events just start to tumble, when that sense of lack of respect and self-respect just tumbles further.
The whole cheating on the herd viewpoint seems... poorly thought out, given the numerous methods one can use to show issues with the system at its base. The monogamous viewpoint was dropped so quickly that you could have easily dragged that back in as a hang up on top of being homesick, because it feels like, beyond his desire for independence, Tim forces himself to adapt to pony society far too quickly. Didn't need cheating on them with Twilight using magic as a human to convey that point.
It leaves a taste of ash in my mouth, and ruins the perception and image you'd built of these characters. They're supposed to be adults, but all of their actions these last two chapters have come across as the actions of immature teenagers instead.
Ergo, subjectively, I believe you poorly executed your idea, and subjectively, I feel like the idea was a bad one from the start.
8563208
Needless to say that I disagree there. But I must point out, Tim is integrating into Canterlot and Ponyville, the ponies are getting used to him being around. So, he's being drawn into the lives of the ponies around him. So, the plot point of Tim sticking out among the ponies is temporary at best. We all get used to unusual situations. Though remember, Citrus' mom did freak out upon seeing him, so that thought still exists among the ponies.
At it's core, Herding Instincts is about the herding behaviors of the ponies, and how Tim fits in among them. Without giving away too many plans, Tim's herd is not the only unusual herd being set up in the story. And some of the culture clash between the different individuals is going to be a big part of the story. I'm sorry that you don't see it the way I do, but that's not required. I'm writing the story, you are free to like or dislike as you choose. Much of what you are complaining about has been in place since the beginning. Some has been inspiration as I've written.
As to the fallout, I'm working on this in the chapter I'm working on at the moment, and perhaps you can understand some of the cultural aspects that I've been working on as things have progressed. I had not planned on such a detailed explanation, but the reaction here has necessitated it. I'm not going to change my story as conceived for comments. But I can address issues through explanation within the narrative, so the characters understand, and so do the readers. I hope you continue reading as Tim navigates this low point in his life, and the light at the end of the tunnel. Just hope that the light is isn't an oncoming train.
8563252
Herding instincts in many ways is a study in pony culture, interactions and such. A look at how they could really work, and how throwing a non pony into the mix could cause problems. Especially with the novelty on one side, and cultural differences on the other.
Now back to Fallout HI: Tropical dreams and Citrus' Revenge. I've unlocked a new weapon, the sharpened spoon!
8563208
Well, what would you have done differently? We are doing this to illustrate how the worlds are dissimilar and how far apart Tim and the ponies really are. Twilight has the power, motivation, and opportunity.
Royalty doesn't get the same regard in Equestria as it does here. Equestria royals are free to just go around and be treated like normal ponies. There have been been episodes showing that discontent with them is also something acceptable. Moondancer holds a petty grudge against Twiley, Trixie hates Twiley, being unhappy with royal decrees was pretty much the crux of Princess Spike, and Starlight ran an entire town of anti harmony cultists out in the open, even letting a princess walk among them. You're thinking in earth norms, not pony norms.
Finally, a depressing truth of infidelity is it often comes from a mix of dissatisfaction, unmet needs, and an opportunity. Tim and his herd were not getting each other, and that has come back to bite hard. Twilight offered Tim everything he needed-- equal respect, attention to his feelings beyond just quieting them to bring back harmony, and talking to him about what was still very near and dear to his heart. Honestly, even without magic and pheromones, this was a classic poaching tryst scenario.
Oh, man. These last two chapters have left me feeling sad, disappointed and possibly a little upset.
Sad
I'm saddened at Citrus' reaction to Twilight's request to come observe Tim and his herd. Yeah, I know Twilight was probably looking for away to spend more time with Tim and, I would hope, get to know the herd, but still. The level of dis-like Citrus portrays caught me off guard. Declaring Twilight 'persona non grata' (or is it 'equus non grata') borders on hate if you ask me. I know Tim's been having nightmares since the early days of moving in with the girls but I don't recall Citrus or Cayenne trying to sooth him in the middle of the night because of them. Now, with the latest development, my hope that they all could at least be friends is dwindling.
Disappointed
I'm disappointed in Twilight because she knew better. She knew that heat for an alicorn is more intense than for any other mare. She obviously underestimated the effect it was going to have on her and not the mention that Tim, the object of her affections, was standing in the same room with her. It doesn't make it right but that would be why I'd allow her quarter.
I'm disappointed in Tim as well, just maybe not as much so as I am in Twilight. He did say it felt wrong and they should stop. He said it a few times in fact. We know he's becoming susceptible to magic and Cadence did explain that alicorn heat can get nearby stallions "five legged". Again, doesn't make it right but I think the prolonged exposure to Twilight's estrus-caused, magic infused pheromones is the slack Tim gets there. It wouldn't surprise me if Tim is guilt ridden for awhile. We don't know what the herd's reaction is going to be. Citrus and Cayenne may be upset but North and Silver might take pride in the fact that their lead stallion 'serviced a princess in her time of need'.
Which leads me to a growing disappointment in the herd's lack of communication. Polyamory works when everyone is open and honest about what and how they are feeling. Tim should talk about his homesickness. I also think Silver has lulled the girls into a sense of typical herd 'normalcy'. Don't get me wrong, I love Silver but they are not a normal herd. Tim and the herd need to have a talk and they all need to explain and keep each other's perceptions in mind.
A little upset
I'll be upset at Cadence should it turn out she pretended to send the letter. I'm going to assume that she underestimated how Tim would be affected by Twilight's arousal but that's still no excuse. If there are consequences to be meted out, then she should share in them if not more so than Tim and Twilight.
Well, I'm sure it's to no one's surprise that I'm still loving the story. I look forward to reading what happens next. Thanks Sparky, et al.
8560681
8563208
Dude. Criticisms aside and not condoning all writing styles but I think you lost the point a bit here.
Just because gender roles were reversed doesn't mean an immediate happy ending.
Look with an objective eye at the weird stuff on our planet and try not to laugh in absurd disbelief over the weirdness.
Not wanting to be a nihilist here but Tim is responding pretty realistically to a bit of adorable alien pony weirdness, personal desire, and our objections for an admittedly foreign scenario is kind of hollow...
At least that is unless Tim didn't go on and say yeah I did that. I messed up and cheated (He did?). This is despite of the pheromone/magic weirdness put forward in the prior chapter.
8563326
Just keep trucking.
Honestly the first few chapters felt a bit wooden or cardboard like (I posted as such before. Please go look if you want.) but the actual story has built on that and improved greatly.
8568303
Great comment. I've actually been with the story for quite some time. It's nice to see feedback such as yours.
Citrus Blush want to be Tim marefriend. Tim agree.
Citrus Blush want to form herd. Tim agree.
Citrus Blush want her friend Cayenne into the herd. Tim agree.
Citrus Blush want to add stallion into the herd. Tim agree.
But when Tim want Twilight. Citrus Blush refuse it...
Citrus Blush is so selfish somehow...Come to think of that...She seem being like that since the begining. She became Tim marefriend just because she happened to be the mare who nurse Tim and first mare he have sex with. Their relationship jump from stranger to lover in one go. With her being the center of everything...A pony-like relationship...Instict...
While Twilight. The relationship between her and Tim is genius. They start to get to know each other slowly. From stranger to helper, to friend and become best friend. They help each other very well. Twilight lost her crow. Tim help her. And Twilight do everything to help him both comfortable with the life in Equestria and seek a way to bring him home...A human-like relationship...
I will see how this story will end...Do instict or love that will win in the end...
So let me get this straight. Tim, the victim, is internalizing his rape as his fault.
Is this going to be remedied at all?
8624294
It would be a brilliant plot point if it turns out he can't get it up with his mares due to trauma. Although, judging by their behaviour so far, I think they are more likely to try to "fix" the problem with some manual prostate simulation, courtesy of Silver or a dildo,
than realize they've crossed a serious line with tragic consequences.
Hmmm... Are a few chapters missing now and being rewritten?
8629118
Eeyup.
You're still a manipulative rapist and a slut with a fucked up perception of reality!
Oh please what is this bullshit. Twilight is a rapist and Tim is a pussy. Bah I'm done reading.
8569548
I think both Tim and twilight have equal share, as well as citrus and possibly cadence if my suspicions are correct. Twilight and Tim have had chemistry before the human for twilight thing, something obvious enough that others have picked up on it. He wasn't under a spell, Pheromones and a great pair of tits are as much magic as any woman on earth can wield. Furthermore, twilight had tried to warn Tim to stay away, showing active action of a desire to avoid a risk of such event.
Citrus has been having a power trip over tim. She blames twilight for tim reaching stages of grief, then without consulting him has the lessons moved to another city because she decided she didn't like twilight. Secondly when tim expresses interest in twilight she tells him she is being offended on his behalf, doesn't even give Tim's opinion a second thought, then all but tells him to shut up.
Twilight was about as culpable as someone with a major concussion committing manslaughter, and had citrus not been petty and discarded tim's own ideas like he was a servant boy they wouldn't have been in this situation to have such an accident.
By american law this is rape. Tim did not give consent to this and 9 times voiced complaint against it. He actually doesn't have to voice a complaint at all to consider it rape. He never gave consent. So this is very clearly and indisputably by United States law rape. If Twilight were in our world she would be deemed a criminal and imprisoned. Tim is victim and deserves the greatest of sympathy.
8940073
The American legal definition of rape is, I quote from an archive from the U.S. Department of Justice, “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” By some who read it, they think "well, if any penetration occurs on either party, and either side does not consent, then it's rape against the one that did not consent." However, my mind is that of a grammar fanatic with extreme paranoia and a persecution complex along with a determination to find any and all possible loopholes that can be found. So, I look at this, and view "penetration" as an action done specifically to the object, which is the vagina, anus, or mouth. Meaning that a very determined person could look at the legal definition and say "It doesn't apply to women sexually assaulting men" because of this loophole: It indicates that rape is the act of penetrating the vagina, anus or mouth with a body part, object, or sex organ. Meaning that "made to penetrate," with the verb being "made" specifically, can not be classified as rape under the U.S. legal definition as rape. That's why statistics tend to say that rape is most done by men to women: because "made to penetrate" is only classified as sexual assault, rather than rape, and thus the statistics that would be about how many men are raped by women in a fair and just world are simply transferred over to sexual assault.
Bear in mind, this is an analysis of the U.S. legal definition of rape. It does not reflect my personal beliefs about rape: Under my personal moral and ethical standards, made to penetrate would also be rape, but under the U.S. legal definition, it unfortunately is not.
Yeah, she probably would be deemed a criminal in the U.S., but only of sexual assault and about 200 cases of manslaughter.
Wooooooow! You know how to build subtlety! I had no idea the chapter was going this way at all. But, looking back, it makes perfect sense that she was heat-addled. This is a BEAUTIFULLY well-written story; I'd almost call it a companion to Xenophilia, since a lot of the cultural elements are similar. But this is simply magnificent. I'm so excited to keep reading more!
You know, I've read through this story twice now, and the first time, while I breezed through the drama to get to the "fun" parts, I'm transfixed by the drama this time around, because it's an *incredibly* realistic portrayal of just--everything that happens. Take Citrus for instance. She's not being mean or talking down to Tim because she thinks he's inferior, she's treating him the same way she'd expect a stallion to be treated, no matter how "marely" he acts, and it's so blaringly casual. And it really hit Tim when he was talking with Citrus' mother, and he realized just how much he missed Earth.
And that's another great point I think is being overlooked for the much simpler answer of "Tim's a crybaby". Think about it. He had a job. He had a family. He had an almost-fiancee. I won't speak for anybody else, but I'm "here" because I don't have a whole lot else. I would absolutely jump at the chance to find a portal into Equestria, because there's not much keeping me here at all. But if I was making good money (Trucking can be a 6-figure job), in a field that I enjoyed (Tim did) with a family that loved him and a girl that adored him (Tim had those too), sure, for at *least* the first year I'd have some serious regrets about what I'd left behind, whether there was a way to get back or not, sexy Twilight plot or no.
And especially with this particular version of Equestria that's very popular (reversed sexual dynamics and toned-down extremes, polyamory, etc.), it really hits home just how *alien* they are to us. They can be casually violent in situations we'd find abhorrent (duels and full-on fights for dominance) because 1) that's how horses, their spiritual predecessors behave, and 2) they have magic to heal most superficial injuries, and quite a few more serious ones.
And while I touched on it before, I didn't really talk about how the sexual dynamics in Equestria are completely alien to what most of us in the West call "normal". (I admit I'm somewhat provincial and haven't traveled abroad. In-country, yes, but not beyond). Even with the "strides" we're making with what we define as "normal" in relationships and interpersonal interaction, can you imagine two "bros" snuggling together like Tim and Silver, that weren't also either bisexual or gay? Plus the whole complex weave of "polyamory is okay but only so long as all parties are okay with it, else it's just as cheaty as breaking monogamy," thing. Which is wonderful writing! Just not something you find on Earth much.
And, of course, lastly, is dealing with the idea that Tim is the ultimate minority. He's alone. No politics, here, different direction. I come from a family of mega athletes. Father, mother, uncles, all college sports stars and some even semi-pro. Me? I'm a mega-egghead. Science, computers, the like. And while they *appreciate* me and support me, every time I try to talk video games, science developments, and the like, their eyes just kinda--glaze over and they give me the standard "Oh that's nice dear," and it's all over. So I absolutely (and I'm sure most of us do) understand when Sam feels alone, with no one to really talk to or relate to.
So, I guess I'd end by saying, don't dismiss this as a "simple" story. It deals with some *really* complex and hard-hitting themes, and does it very, very well. ^_^
9189088
Let me wipe a tear away, thank you so much! I really do appreciate people getting how much thought that has gone into this story. I do try to think about every part of what goes into a chapter. And I'm not the only one thinking about the world and lore of the story. My story editor, Kalash, and my friend (who doesn't do clop) Kitsy-Chan have both spent a lot of skull sweat on making this a fun story. Thank you so much for enjoying the story, and I hope you enjoy as further story comes around.