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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh nice, I post a comment saying that I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and the next one comes out the next day
Thank you.
Really aren't too many herds that focus on a relationship between multiple guys. This was a refreshing take.
The whole Citrus and Twilight issue needs to be addressed soon as Twilight usually gets what she wants and I hope it doesn’t end bad for her.
Super excited! This was my first fimfic I ever read on this site!! So excited for the new update! Keep it up!
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Ya i don't even know any herd focused stories that have more than 1 guy in it. So this is a first for me as well, glad we had a update though :D loving the story
While i am rooting for twi to be the final member of Tim's cute little herd, i find it very interesting that cady was pushing so hard. It probably has to due to the fact that i think twilight was supposed to be the mystery 5th ticket before silver joined the herd. As time had said he had 5 tickets way before silver was being courted into the herd, meaning celestia also must of known that twi had a longing to be with tim and the rest of the girls. Also looks like twilight isn't giving up either with her wanting to "observe" the herd as well, spend some time with them maybe see if she could stay over for a little while. Totally won't be suspicious at all :D
well this will be intresting
OK i would really love to comment about several thing in this chapter, but as i do help provide reference material for parts of this story it makes it harder.
i can say this story is really strong in family / hearding , Tim has so much on his plate right now with silver coming in to the heard and Cadance hinting about twilight.
now throw in the stress of the GGG coming up and the fact that Tim is the ambassador to earth.
yep no presser at all.
i do not see any thing that can happen at the GGG that may turn this all sideways.
i can say this story is really good and has a vary strong story line that moves fast and is a good read.
Harts Fire
I think that perhaps things would go better for Twilight if she would actually, you know, approach the herd's lead mare, as I get the impression that she should do. Citrus might be angry with her because Twilight gives the impression (to Citrus) of trying to seduce the lead stallion away from the herd, rather than wanting to join the herd herself.
But, maybe not.
for some reason it pleases me that twi is being forced into not getting what caddy or herself wants.
and i don't know why, but it feels right.
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Post more comments. Quick!
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Not gonna work I'm deep into the next chapter of Equestria Girls and the Golden Bell, once I finish that...I'll be back on this story. Hopefully, if everything goes well, I'll have it ready for two weeks from today.
Ok, I‘m between that is super cute but completely frustrating and omg just … already.
I really hope those watching sessions help integrate her into the herd.
But I might be biased since purple smarts is one of my favorites. ;)
Hmm, I wonder.
When cadence was talking about “Royal privilege” I began to think
What if Twilight got so mad at Tim for denying her to join, or talking to his herd about her joining, that she uses that privilege.
Or I could be wrong and missed something that says she can’t do that in her day and age.
I wonder how many chapters it will be before Tim asks Twilight to leave the translation spell off as he feels that he has hit a wall on learning the language, nothing will help him learn it better, than having to use it all the time.
That freakout of Tim's in the shower
Welp, decades of one mentality isn't easily changed. I mean, he tries, but there's still so much he doesn't know. Also the gender role-reversal will take a long, long time to settle in.
Still, as I said, he tries!
Cadance... she won't stop, will she? I know she has the best intentions at heart, but she should know that some thing you just can't force. Yes, Tim likes Twi, and she obviously likes him back (aaaaand she definitely wants the simian D a lot!), but it's not only up to him.
He also brought up a fair point - the traveling arrangements would be a nightmare, as both of the affected parties have a well-established life in their location.
That's going to be quite the conundrum.
Heh, Starlight is still there to police Twi. Those justifications of Twilight's were quite cute, though.
Though both Tim and Twi are making progress in learning each other's language! And quite a big one, I see.
So, soon it will be time for Tim to ask Citrus and Cayenne about Twi, won't it?
That will be fun.
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You mean apart from an incident involving Citrus' father?
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i forgot about him to tell the truth.
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Eeyup. Plenty to do on that front. In the drafting process, I actually pitched Tim punching Silver right on the nose. That got vetoed.
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Good thing too, I don't think that poor Silver would take that and be able to walk it off
Huh, hadn't thought before how much Tim needs that. Rather interesting to see someone trying him how feminine he is to ponies.
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Well, if there's going to be any conflict at the Gala involving the Herd, he's the most likely one for it though, right?
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i will confirm something will happen. but it will be something from left field.
Really liked this chapter. The interaction between Tim and Silver was great. I'm looking forward to seeing him more.
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It probably has to due to the fact that i think twilight was supposed to be the mystery 5th ticket before silver joined the herd. As time had said he had 5 tickets way before silver was being courted into the herd, meaning celestia also must of known that twi had a longing to be with tim and the rest of the girls.
I thought about this too. But then I realized that Twilight can easily get her own ticket. I'm sure Celestia always sends the "elements" their tickets directly, so i was thinking: why would Celestia send Twilight's to Tim? Was it supposed to be for someone else?
Hmm.
Good chapter.
Nice dynamics.
I learned a few things here!
Good work!
Pegasum I can kinda get behind, even though it's an obscure word that I had to look up in the middle of a story because I didn't understand why pegasus just wasn't used.
But using pegosos instead of pegasi? Pretentiousness on this pegasi isn't becoming. GET A MODERN DICTIONARY, SILVER!
:)
You see it.
:)
Las Pegasus.
What does he brush low? This makes no sense to me.
Ah. Tim, Tim, Tim. *tsk tsk*
This is fragmented. It doesn't make sense. Maybe take out the herd bit.
And certain words and punctuation from when he gets to Ponyville on pop up often.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Hello there.I can see the way decades of one mentality isn't easily changed. I mean, he tries, but there's still so much he doesn't know. Also the gender role-reversal will take a long, long time to settle in.Still,I mean i would have a some what hard time getting past the role-reversal in there world and thing like being in a herd and having sex together.
The way the world building is making this come to life more and more is really cool, and what is expected of Tim from how there world differs from ours.
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I find it entertaining how the gender roles are [mostly] reversed in Equestria. That and how Tim keeps tripping up as he maintains his human "manliness", much to the chagrin of the ponies around him. The details that keep popping up, such as multiple males in a herd, the pecking orders of both genders, general life, and other things add so much color and life to this story. World building, macro and micro details, are what keep me glued to Tim's adventures-- the waffling over Twilight's addition to the herd also helps.
And he should see if ponies can invent Velcro for his clothing to cut down on the repair bills, heh. Tho velcro is kinda tacky on a suit. Hmm, maybe some hidden magnetic tabs?
After a bit of thought, and this chapter, I'm not as worried as I was last chapter, just still letting the fact that another male's in the herd sink in. I'm also a little sad about how obvious it is Twilight won't be joining, too.
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You mean yet don't you? He said in another post is was going to be a very large heard so don't count it out yet.
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I'm using the antique Latin case system. In the ongoing soft sciences analysis of Equestria in the story, you can bet it's going to get covered, too. Silver is using an old variant of Equestrian which had cases. Modern doesn't. If we talk more about the language, you may be pleased to know I have made great efforts to make it distinctly NOT European, and as a matter of fact, if a base conlang were generated, I intend that it would not be able to fall into any extant grouping.
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Point. Glad you brought that up, because I completely forgot.
“Today on 'The Morning After with Tim and Silverwing'…” Thanks for clarifying that Tim did not fully understand what he set in motion when he invited Silver over for dinner. I’m now a little disappointed in Citrus in so far as that she didn’t pull Tim aside sooner in the chapter before last to explain the implication rather than saying something once Silver was already heading up the stairs. I can cut Cayenne some slack as she was already interested in Silver before Tim moved in and was likely excited that she’s was going to be able to rekindle that relationship. That said, it’s tough to see another fitting way to get Tim’s lessons on “How to stallion” started. I wonder what’s going through Tim’s mind regarding the “housecolt” comment besides being ‘blindsided’. Is he a little worried the girls weren’t happy because he wasn’t a “proper housecolt”? I’m also hoping that Tim doesn’t feel bad thinking they’re making Silver be the housecolt. It seems to be the job Silver wants and knows he can do for the herd. Especially being told he couldn’t catch a mare because he couldn’t cook. I’m sure Silver is elated that he’s found a herd he can take care of let alone said herd includes the mare he was interested in many months ago. Which reminds me; Tim, stop ‘kicking the puppy’. Just you wait for your “Defense of the herd” training.*
Of course you had me at “Family crest”. It hadn’t occurred to me that Tim would have one. Good call. I love Tim’s explanation and reasoning. I’m sure Tim got snugged and fugged extra hard when they retired to the bedroom that night. Though, I can’t help but wonder what Galileah’s reaction to the Malone Family Crest will be.
I’m glad to see that Tim and Twilight are getting closer. I still hope Twilight joins the herd. Even if it is a long distance relationship. Cayenne is looking to open another restaurant. Why can’t she open one in Ponyville? I’m sure a Canterlot connected restaurant would be welcome and do well. There’s families that have second homes. Why wouldn’t a large herd? I’d imagine Twilight would like having her herdmates stay with her when they have business in Ponyville and vise versa Twilight stay with the herd when she’s in Canterlot. I don’t think Citrus was that mad over the transformation mishap. Citrus did reassuredly nuzzle Twilight when her wings became erect after seeing Tim in the nude once he was returned to normal. Citrus told her he had the same kind of effect on them too. Even if Citrus was a little upset I’d think she’d moved past it by now. I hope Twilight can go observe the herd. Twilight is/was a Canterlot Unicorn after all. I’m hoping she’ll have the opportunity to petition Citrus for entrance into the herd.
Thanks for touching on the bonds formed between herdmates. I know I’ve said this before; sex is isn’t the only thing that polyamory is all about. It is important, yes but It’s also about the love, care and support of the group members. This fact sometimes gets lost in herding stories.
Also, do I detect the hint that it might have been Cadence that sent the extra ticket, hmm?
Needless to say, I love the update. Great world building and character development. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
*”Defense of the herd” training
The mares get hot and bothered watching their stallions sparring, when?
And here I go again, sorry about the wall 'o text.
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I love the wall of text comments. Thanks so much for the kind words. And just so you all know the next TWO chapters are written. Expect the first to show up this Friday if everything goes well in the editing department. And two weeks later....the next chapter. I'm trying to write ahead with both stories to give myself some breathing room. Golden Bell is nearly complete so I'll get some more of Irony's tale out and consider where I want to go with writing coming up. But as to Herding Instincts, plans are continuing, and I hope you like the results.
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Glad to hear it!
I forgot to mention; kudos on using the preening as the segue into the mini-history lesson. Good job overall regarding the lore and character building and backstories. It continues to draw me further into the story.
Oh, and Kalash? Good job on the pony language. I see the attention to detail you're putting in there. Well done.
Ok, something I feel has to be pointed out. As far as I know, regardless of the gender of the pegasi in question, plural "pegasus" will always be pegasi. It is a case of the WORD'S gender, not the creature's. If you knew this and this was intentional, I apologize. If it was not, please take this into consideration. (I am referring to when Silver says "us pegasos," which I assume to be an attempt at masculine "pegasi.") I can see where you got the idea, too, looking at "filius" (boy) vs. filia (girl).
Finally, this gets called out.
Well she's being more forward at least...
Also the cost of any motels they stay at.
This was worth the entire read up until this point. Thank you.
Back for another re-read and… while I still enjoy this story, the parts with Twilight feel very awkward. It’s a story with all OCs and cameos of main characters… and having Twilight here feels really shoe-horned in.
Also she’s being (for humans) seriously creepy. For ponies it’s just bad behavior and because she’s literally horny af. I think a different OC - like Leah! - would be less awkward in this role.