ok I see several thing of grate interests, possibility a new member in the heard yep a super good thing and at the same time this will be a learning experience for Tim on how heards really work in adding new member.
but the shocker and cliffhanger how will time adopted to his new form?
I am really liking the story driving the hole story over all.

without giving away any spoilers this is kinda how i feel about the development of this chapter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMZONL8x8NE

Confound that mirror! Heh. I suspect this is temporary. But the shenanigans in the meantime will be glorious.

i actually like the method in which you had a human turn into a pony, it seems very reasonable and in line with how things appear to work in the show compared to other stories.

really don't want this to turn into a human turned pony but I will wait a few chapters see where you go with this

other than that fucking loved this chapter

Hopefully Citrus and Cayenne won't kill Twilight for doing this. Then again they may enjoy their new "stallion".

8095466

You really shouldn't allow your judgement to cloud your site over a good passage. So what if it's a HTP, what matters most of all is the delivery. As Twilight or the Author explained, Tim when in the portal human came out human just like a pony would. Instead of returning as a human, the portal reconfigured him because that what it was DESIGNED to do. Seriously...I know you said you'd give it a chance but I still can't help but hate the fact you're so hung on hate for HTPs. I don't like HTPs when the delivery is shit or if the fic is overall bad.

I've written an HTP is a shitty delivery on purpose just for laughs and giggles (and as an experiment). Tons of people hated it for my exact reason. DELIVERY is KEY to EVERY fanfic, heck, every book ever written.

May just be an oversight on your part....

Please let him change back. Preferably virtually immediately.

8095494
Doesn't matter if the delivery is the most genius thing ever. Still greatly dislike such. And I will say it now, if he isn't changed back in the next chapter I will just stop reading. Is that petty, yes, and will my departure really matter, definitely not, but that is how much I dislike such.

8095517 I agree 100%

This is great! Now cayenne and citrus don't have to look for a stallion to have children, if twilight can change Tim back whenever they want then all the better!

So earth pony Pegasus or unicorn

another featured box congrats.

This is gonna be fun.

Summary of a few individuals... "Wah wah, not human turned pony! Gasp, how could you!"

Snickered a bit at the obvious reactions via comments a few folks dropped. It is an interesting delivery method, and the side trip proved quite interesting to the EqG multiverse. And now, looks like he's just a plain ole boring earth pony, due to the properties of the mirror. Interesting color combination, the real questions are... if he steps back through the mirror, does he take on the funky color scheme, since he colors no longer match his human self. And, is his innate resistance to magic gone? If so, has he 'naturalized' inadvertently through Twilight's trip there and back?

Plus, the implications for his herdmates now, and how Crystal and Cayenne will take it. Not to mention that the mystery mare who wants to test the waters with them sounded like she wanted purely the sexual aspect of their relationship... which Tim would have a hard time delivering on as he currently is.

Interesting update, unlike the others, I am curious about the change, and want to see where it leads things. So, good job, and I'll be looking forward to the next chapter you publish!

feel like there should have been a more substantial paragraph break or something before he woke up as a pony, it was pretty sudden. I'm not against it though

Although I don't get why they needed to go through the mirror, in all honesty I couldn't really see a valid reason to do it and not sure why it was even put into the story. I am glad that at least you had him turn into a pony going through it as that is what should happen if you went through the portal. But even though, shouldn't he have turned into a EQ version of himself as well?

I don't have an issue with the transformation, as long as it isn't permanent; although, what I can say, is if Twilight doesn't join the herd I will die due to overwhelming sadness.

The 'stallions stay in the kitchen' attitude must be a Canterlot thing, because most of the stallions we've seen in Ponyville seem to be employed, and Mr. Rich and Davenport even run their own stores/companies.

Also, being turned into a pony may not be that bad a thing, especially if he'll be staying in Equestria. For one thing, definitely shouldn't be any problems about foals, biologically anyway, if the relationship goes that far.

8095991

"I have children in Equestria" would probably be as lethal a shot to going home as it gets.

Plus, contrary to many a story, ending up in a new body might not be a very comfortable thing, especially considering the mares in his life are even more likely to treat him like a native.

(Not even counting the change to the herd's sex life.)

Taking him through the mirror to check on the other universe made sense, but what the hell was Twilight thinking introducing him to the alternate of one of his herdmates? There was quite literally no point to that. Hey Tim, here's a version of your lover who neither knows or cares who you are, and who's life isn't going in a direction that is ideal because of this worlds priorities, but you can't do anything about it, because that would be "playing God".

Seriously Twilight? Why? Just... why? Where could that have possibly gone but downhill?

The thing with the mirror reversal was a trip. For a bit there I actually kinda got the sinking suspicion that Twilight did it on purpose... what with the bullshittery she pulled with introducing him to alt. Citrus.

8095584 I'm quite aware of that. But Tim isn't. Let's just say Tim isn't the fount of information that the author is with the benefit us much research. I've had to restrain myself from Tim having the answer to every question from Twilight or any other pony. Would be boring if he knew everything.

Heh, I wondered if the portal would do that to Tim on the way back
Good news - he'll fit in now! Bad news - no human anatomy anymore. I wonder how will Twi fix that.

Definitely my least favorite chapter. I'm fine with him turning into a pony, but I hate Equestria girls. The whole thing just felt off to me.

8095494 like I said I'm gonna give it a chance but I have been burned before when it comes to HTP so I guess you could say I expect the worst and how it pays off in the end.

I really don't quite understand all these people whining about this change.

Let the author do what he planned. Don't try to influence his writing with "I'll stop reading if the story doesn't go the direction I want!"

Im totally fine with Him transforming into a pony as long its not a permanent effect becuse this is about a human x pony relationship not a transformed human into a pony x pony relationship and by the looks of it this story is not part of HTP group and the author notes dosent say human into a pony so i guess he Will turn back into a human other then that i Will kepp Reading this and good luck

8096052 i so much agree u on there

8095517 shush you, we need to see some pony/pony nookie first.

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of messing up the lives of others...

8096872
That can be found in plenty of other stories.
8096252
It isn't about trying to influence the author. We are simply telling him what we think, and feel about what has happened, or at least I am. You know, the point of leaving comments. If he let's our words, which are honestly not important, influence him to such an extent that would be his fault for being weak willed.
Honestly though, when something so polarizing is done it is pretty much a given that people are going to be upset. And will voice their grievances.

8095517 i agree with you and im pretty sure he is going to change Him back to human just twilight Messing up,again like she does

8096984 I really do like the input. Though I've tried to never let the comments affect the story too much. Though at times feedback has caused me to expand upon the reasoning and to show that I've got a valid reason for writing what I write. Though the plans for what is going to happen, and why it's happening are in place. I planned from early on for a trip through the portal. And there are few fellow authors who I will let influence the story to a significant extent. But I talk to them all the time, and for these plot points, we've discussed them quite exhaustively. All I can say is have faith. The reasoning for everything will become clearer. And keep commenting. I do read them, and the feedback is invaluable.

Hee, hee. I'm afraid my imagination was a bit harder on Twilight Sparkle than Tim was.

-----------------------

He dutifully places his hand on her withers and once again, she pops out of existence, leaving him standing in the courtyard. He hears a snicker from one of the guardsmares at the gate. In moments she pops back, muttering to herself. She looks up at him, “Well, it seems your magical resistance applies to teleportation.” She smiles, but the smile makes him want to take a step back, “I guess we’ll have to fly.”

“Fly?” He yelps, “How would we fly?”

She spreads her wings and turns sideways, “Climb on.” She chirps, her tail fanning back and forth. “It’s either fly, or we are going to have to spend hours on the train.”

He looks at the purple alicorn who is not much more than half his height, “Aren’t I a little big to ride you?”

She closes her eyes for a moment and her tail clamps to her rear for a moment. Her wings stiffen with the primaries on the very tips pointing straight up. Tim notices that the guardsmare that snickered before is now covering her mouth with a hoof, her shoulders trembling. After a few seconds, it seems Twilight gets more control of her wings and tail with a huff. She stops and looks at him, “Sorry, was distracted for a moment, but no. I’m an alicorn, and far stronger than anypony of my size. You aren’t that heavy."

Tim smirked for a moment then gives his best deadpan delivery. "You want me to mount you right here, in public?"

Twilight's eyes go wide and her tail trashes about in what appears to be an impressive display of tail-fu, striking in all directions at tiny invisible gnats surrounding her rear. Tim glances at the guardsmare and she has sunk limply to the floor, her body racked with mirth, barely able to hold her spear upright.

Twilight takes a few deep breaths and marches in a tight circle for several seconds, murmuring some sort of mantra to herself. After a considerably longer time than previously, she is able to converse again. She glares at Tim, who is trying his best to keep any hint of a smile off of his face. Apparently, his faux look of concern is not enough to fool the alicorn. "Would you prefer to just WALK to Ponyville?" she says, a bit accusingly.

"OK! OK! Flying sounds great! Let's have a go at it!"

Twilight blinks and stares intently at Tim, looking for a hidden meaning that escapes her. The guardsmare, however, begins pounding the stone steps weakly.

With that, Twilight's horn lights again, and he’s gently picked up and placed on her back. He finds his knees fit right behind her wings, she folds her wings and walks around a bit, getting used to his weight. She looks back at him, her wings unfurling, “Ready?”

-------------

Thought for next chapter:

It occurs to me that Tim will want to go back through the portal immediately. It also occurs to me that that's the last thing Twilight will want. It's hard enough to undo one unknown transformation. Piling 3 consecutive transformations on top of each other might make the first one permanent or at least un-reversible.

8096923 you have nooooooooooooooo idea.

8096995 lmao, I love your take on it.

The only problems there are Tim is exceedingly uncomfortable with the idea of sex with the purple pony princess. He's got a herd. And two, Twilight is blatantly offering herself to him, and she's quite aware of her feelings. But she is unaware of how much she is broadcasting those feelings. Because she doesn't pounce on him and take him, she thinks she's not being that obvious.

8096994
Hey, it is your story, so please do what you want, what you think is best, and what you will enjoy. All the more power to you. Me, I will still stand by what I said earlier.
It is hard to have faith when plenty of other author did the same, said it won't be permanent, but pretty much made it so, or seeming so, in the past. So I found it is better to just stop reading stories where such happens and forget about them, then force myself to continue reading something I don't like, and be upset over something I have no control over, and is ultimately not important.

knew that he would have this problem.

8097013
Yep. The main thing that is non-canon with my take is that Tim doesn't act like Tim. Frankly, in your story he acts like a stereotypical "nice guy" which is not a bad thing, it just means he doesn't prank ponies. In addition, I think he acts even more formal and careful around Twilight than pretty much any pony out there.

8096997 I know there has to be some story between here and the end, but please don't let him suffer, plus what type of pony did he become, I guess the run of the mill Earth pony is what should be expected.

8097195 oh, he won't suffer. And he's turned into a pony, did you think I would divulge the tribe before the chapter is ready?

8097199 I never ask the performers how they do thief tricks, it takes the fun out of the story, Besides a little speculation does a body good.

His resistance to magic is questionable.
Like he can't be teleported but he can be lifted by magic; that gave me the impression that complex forms of magic don't work on him. When it came to the portal I half expected him to be unable to travel through it for that reason. Same applies to the transformation but now that he is a pony does magic work on him properly now? If he were to change back would he regain his resistance to magic? Twilight would have her work cutout for her if he still has his resistance after the transformation.

8097284
Trans-dimensional magic and magic that works on/around the laws of nature (such as levitation) would have an effect on him because they operate on such a basic level of existence that a natural resistance couldn't override it unless he was wholly immune. That being said, the tranformative nature of the portal would still work on him because he'd be changing the state of his nature. He came through to Equestria via some unknown means, so he's an outlier and the portal would "correct" his form from one world to another. So... Now he's a pony and I have a feeling that he will now be subject to more magical influence since he's now attuned with Equestrian magic.

As far as target magic goes, Twi was trying to passively teleport him, not actively teleport him... If she had targeted him, it would have been very difficult, but she could have likely done it, but not in this instance... :b

8097154
That would be because Twi's showing her interest in him without Citrus' knowledge or presence... Since he's starting to pick up on this stuff, he's keeping Twi at arm's length unless it's official business like this chapter. He doesn't want to trip up Citrus' lead mare position by suddenly showing interest in a mare that he hasn't even talked to his herd-mates about. He even noticed how Twi was keeping her displays of her fun bits well in check around his herd-mates... She'll likely stable with them or potentially even join them, but right now, Twi is too hot to handle for little ol' Tim as of right now...

I owe you some feedback for sure now.

She totally did it on perpose. Lol

Alright, time for some feedback.

1. Premise: This is an HIE harem romance with a twist: actual cultural differences between humans and ponies that don't go away for convience. Well done; I've seen far too many fics that tried this route only to completely drop it when it got in the way of the author's fantasy or whatever else he was trying to do, much to their detriment.

2. Characters: They're a little bland, but I like them. They all have different and unique personalities. I like that Tim is reacting understandably to the situation. He's neither just slipping into it without struggle, nor is he totally freaked out and walling himself off. He's trying hard to adapt to his new life and that's nice enough to see in a sea of HIE protags who either just don't react to being in Equestria or act like kids determined to hide away. He's a likeable fellow, but I'm not sure what his character really is. You're doing well with showing how he's having to deal with culture shock. Given that I've been to a few foreign countries and been hit with some pretty minor yet hard culture shocks, I must say that he is doing extremely well, especially with the novel sexual politics, which you are taking good care to explore and ease him into. I like Citrus and Cayenne, and their distinct personalities show. Their interractions with Tim are enjoyable and feel real. Now, I'm not particularly thrilled with how you're handling Twiley. It's not because I hate bookhorse, but because I see this fic falling into the protagonist gets all the mares trap trope. Twilight is more than just a friend to Tim; she's also his handler, tutor, and supervisor. I'd expect more professionalism from her, as well as I find it groan-inducing that every mare Tim is in regular contact might as well take up whispering "also fuck me" after everything they say.

3. Plot: Man winds up in Equestria for no particular reason and must make due with his circumstances while they try to get him home. It was all pretty standard, other than him slowly being swayed to not seem so earnest about wanting to go home, until chapter 8, then it got really interesting. Good job. Now I have no idea where you're going to go next with this and I'll be waiting to see what you do with this opportunity. I don't think a human visitor has ever gone from Earth to Equestria to EQG to Equestria. And now he has to deal with being a pony! I can only imagine what that's going to be like in the bedroom.

4. Prose: It's okay. You're doing alright with the mechanics, your sentences are varied and interesting, and the text isn't painful to read. I have no complaints.

All in all, a pleasant fic I look forward to reading more of. If you want to discuss more, you know where to find me.

I have never understood the lead mares position in the herd for stories like these, I get that real horses have them but with real horses it's still the stallion that decides who comes and goes who mates and don't mate. I mean really other stallions are not even allowed to be near they have a only stallion group outside waiting to dethrone him