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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This will get ugly
*<>* oh no ... Celestia wants a visit ... Royal privilage ?
Hand holding in PUBLIC? Lewd!!!
O this is going to be interesting, and a vary fun chapter to read.
I hope celestia doesn't fuck Tim it would be very off putting to me
or possibly a belated explanation on how heat week will work.
Can't wait for what happens next please let it be what I think it is though him and two princesses
Oh, no... more huge drama incoming...
Or, you know, first official heat season with a Princess in-herd and making sure he's got any special details needed regarding potential snu-snu issues with Twilight.
They should seriously sell necklaces of pony <-> anthro transformation. The earth ponies at least would buy them like crazy once they learned how useful hands are.
9386543
Why would Celestia want to jump him? Didn't we just get an infodump early on how Celestia and Luna both have their own harem (for lack of a better term) to satisfy them? I'd be more worried he's going to get some contrived "ambassadorial duties" to whisk him away to a far off country while Silver holds down the fort trying to keep up with four randy mares.
9390832
I have know idea
I see what you did there.
Nice bit of "Herds in the Time of Heat" lore. The whole scene with Citrus was comfy; heartwarming even. She's such a good pony. I love the new spell. I'm sure the variety will be enjoyed by everyone in the herd. I'm pleased to learn the ponies of Canterlot are used to Tim being around now too.
I was thinking "Royal Privilege" at first as well. Especially, if Twilight has mentioned the herd's sex life. Not that she'd be bragging about it. Too easy but IF that's it then maybe it's for Cadence? Maybe Shinning is somehow indisposed? I'd like to think both Citrus and Tim would've been summoned though. Not just summon Tim and send a letter to Citrus. In any case I hope it's not something serious.
A good update as always and I look forward to reading the next one.
Did he just get cock blocked in this chapter, just to bang somepony else? Find out on the next chapter of Herding Instincts.
That "twice a year" bit is looking awfully specific now.
9390832
Tim has been shown many times to be the only Male in Equestria that's not a one pump chump as the phrase goes. There's also the fact that as far as the ponies care, he's unable to sire foals, so no prep work beyond here's some magic to keep you going longer than you normally would.
When will you think the next chapter is cumeing out I love to read moll of this story
9410145
The next chapter is scheduled for next Friday. Keep an eye out. Or you can read the chapter pre-edit right now on my pattern.
What I liked in this story:
+ Herds. I think a lot of bronies are dreaming about having a pony harem, so you nailed it.
+ Pony way of thinking. I especially like when a story points out the differences between human and pony anatomy, habits, etc. You made a great attempt at that, and while sometimes it gets too weird, and another times there's not enough of that, I still find it enjoyable.
+ Good clop chapters. At least, when it's with ponies.
What I didn't like:
- Episodes with human porn, anthro appearances, etc. Dude, I came here for the ponies, why do I see human sex here? (Yeah, I'm one of these guys who don't understand EqG and anthro stuff. You could, at least, warn your readers properly in the description)
- Typos, a lot of them. Some are bad enough to make me pause and try to figure out what you meant. See the full list in PM.
"Potion seller... I'm going into battle, and I need your strongest potions."
9410783
Hmm. I can understand that some people feel that way, personally I like the anthro [gets interrupted]
Wow. We just went from your opinion--to full blown sermon, and "you ain't no preacher here."
Calm down dude. If you don't like the story move on, because nobody cares why you don't like it.
Yeah, that's nice, a few authors miss things and appreciate the fans pointing out things.
Are you serious?
9411913
That wasn't intended to be a sermon, you're just taking it too seriously for some reason. Relax. That's what a critique looks like, it doesn't have to be all positive, okay? I honestly pointed out what feelings did this story stir in me. The only real reprimand there is putting anthro into a story without the corresponding Anthro tag or a warning list in the story description, that's purely technical, thus totally deserved. I've heard some people even reporting stories for wrong tags or rating (I've never reported anything so far), so calm down, a comment is a rather nice way to handle this situation. I prefer to communicate rather than to fight.
Didn't get the joke, sorry. Guess a cultural misunderstanding here. I consider it nice to help authors by sending them the errors I find, so they can make their stories better by fixing them. And PM is a nicer way of doing that rather than dumping it in public. I've never claimed to be perfect myself (hell, English is my second language, I can't even write a paragraph without making a mistake), but that doesn't mean I can't find errors, or can't complain that the text is hard to read because of them. So, what's so funny?
9410783
The best/unique thing about this story is exploring what would happen if you were to effectively 'cheat' on your herd, or lead mare. But the clop is a little too frequent and seems to only happen for the sake of making it happen. There's not much rhyme or reason to it, other than the ones that actually drive the plot, or teach us something new (Like North being the beta and having to service Tim while he's on the couch, but cucks Silver). That's not to say it hasn't been a fun read, but it does lack staying power.
I don't mind the antros, I actually welcome them. I just hate that Tim has so many options available to him: an Alternative human world to go to, coming back from said world will make him into a pony. Twilight can turn him back any time he starts to feel worthless, but doesn't for one reason or another. And everyone around him is trying to accommodate his needs, but he doesn't seem to give anything back in return. And now the 'love of his life' has completely changed herself to make him happy.
I hope this explores the idea that Citrus is feeling threatened like she needs to compete against her fellow herd sisters in order to remain Tim's favorite.
Great chapter!
This was my favorite part.
As for the end of the chapter... I have a BAAAAAAD feeling about this.
I love this line. Usually stories will have Spike as some lust-driven sex-crazed mane-iac or as the embodiment of pure absolute could-never-be-adulterated innocence. Its nice to see Spike as having the innocence of a kid but not to the point of naivete......basically like your average teenager. Makes him more....relatable I guess....understandable....something like that.