- Member Since 20th Dec, 2013
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David Silver
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David Silver
Joined 20th Dec, 2013 ·
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Please no mindfucking... aka mind control.
7566839 That would be entirely cheating. I'll leave that to Chrysalis.
7566841 no Chryssie! Please no
7566839 Ordinary nonmagical mindfucking is okay though?
7566843 Relax. Blood Rose is far from home.
7566851 if you mean falling in love, with no magic used other than the normal stuff unicorns use magic for, sure. though bed time magic use is fine for kinky reasons. Still, NO MIND MAGIC IF THE CONSENT OF PARTICIPANTS IS QUESTIONABLE!
7566853 OK
Intriguing, though I'm surprised that Blood Rose bobbled something as simple as the name of her current identity. That seems like it should be Changeling 101. Or maybe humans are just more wary of strangers than ponies. In any case, I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
Interesting so far. I wonder when he will reveal he knows something is off about Rose?
If Blood Rose is going to use that particular quote, she needs to get training from th pony whose it is.
Cute little quiet and Shy.
7566878 Subterfuge can come with difficulty to Equestrians. Good thing they are also pretty bad at noticing. That may cause the other...
Lyra- "But BonBon, I was only tryig to be friendly!"
BonBon- "You were going to try to have sex with him and then turn him into a pony."
Lyra- "That only happened once!"
Ok, with the one chapter I'm sold on it, and thus I will post corrections as I spot them!
pegasus (pegasi is the plural)
Edit: Don't know if you have an actual editor or you do it yourself, but I'd be glad to look chapters of this over before you post them. Let me know.
7567122 Currently, only my readers are my editors, searching for evil typos.
7567192
Changelings? Silver? Evil typos?
…seems like he opened the sound.
off-balance.
I like the way this is going fav & tracking and I'll keep my eyes open for typos.
7568805 Fixed!
I get the feeling that Pinkie will take it the wrong way why he left with Rose. She thinks he made a new friend when Rose is more of an acquaintance then anything else.
(To the tune of 'Kill da wabbit':)
Kill the ty-pos,
Kill the ty-pos,
Kill the ty-pos!
so he?
ought (aught is a word, but wrong in this context.)
ponies (plural, not possessive)
ponies (again)
7569381 Is there a difference in Pinkie's mind?
7569376
7569384
Pinkie's mind is not ment to be known to pony or man. That way madness lies. I think she likes it that way.
7569382 Fixed! Thanks.
7569388 Love it!
7569382 With you spear and magic helmet?
7569423
Yes, with my speaw and magic helmet.
Oh! I think i have insight: Noah is a classic introvert, isn't he?
Just has trouble coping and immersing himself in the social world, even if it's clear others are trying to help him. Prefers to get people one on one, though.
And jeez... stealing his girly mag... I wonder if she is going to ask him to read an equestrian girly mag...
Maybe she'll be classier than that... l
7569478 I think he is, but he made do in his own culture. He knew the rules. He could play by those rules and get a passing grade. When he trips over a hurdle placed there by pony/human cultural differences, he's slower to scramble to his feet and keep moving. He's more inclined to get upset, not angry, just upset. If that makes sense?
It also means he's slower to help others when they go sprawling over those same hurdles. He doesn't realize what happened until it was far too late, like with poor Derpy/Muffins.
Pinkie, on the opposite end of the spectrum, giggles off her trips and barely even notices she ever fell in the first place. That can be irritating in its own way, but she's always ready to try to push past that and become friends. Hence her brute forcing her way to being named a friend by Noah, and yet their bond is far from perfect.
I guess Pinkie can't quite adjust her mentality to this degree of introversion. Fluttershy might give her a starting point, but she has her limits.
I'm surprised that Noah's never at least looked at what the local library has to offer... though if the local library is currently located in a crystal tree-castle, I can understand how that might be intimidating. Still, if anyone in town would be willing to discuss sci-fi, it'd be Twilight.
Instead, he has a changeling rooting through his mind and his stuff, trying to find a soft point where she can sink her fangs. Or she genuinely wants a friend, though the odds of that seem slim compared to the more sinister alternative. I'll have to wait to find out.
Rather straightforward now are we?
7569450 Magic helmet?
defiance of phyics - defiance of physics
have better planned - have anything better planned
*****
It's off to a solid start, can't wait to see where it goes from here.
I like Noah, I can see a lot of myself in him.
7570417 Fixes made! Chapter 2 awaits.
really aught - really ought
two way road - two-way road
beside AK Yearling's - besides AK Yearling's
*****
I like where things are going so far. Noah continues to be a character that I can identify with.
Blood Rose is obviously setting her hooks, but I'm sure there will be more to her and her relationship with Noah than that. She seems to have a genuine fascination with her 'prey', at the very least.
Can't wait to see the next chapter!
*****
So to speak.
I like how her behavior is almost ant-like, given that we know she's a changeling after all the hints so far.
7570485 Fixes applied! I'm pleased that you can empathize with Noah. There's a bit of me in there for sure. I always feel like I'm pretending in social situations. Welcome to the story!
ChangelingTotally Real Pony wants to know what he Goes For. Figures.The typos have all been slain 'ere I came this way, it seems.
It's nice to skip the typical, "oh crap I got here now what" plot that typically starts these stories out. Now we can just focus on the "now that everything's settled, now what?" right off the bat. Of course, because of this also we don't yet have a feel for his morality and personality, but that comes quickly enough. For now it's enough that he doesn't seem appalled at the idea of relationshipping with other ponies and is friends with many.
Hair stylist, huh? Or just Barber? Makes sense he'd have to switch careers, not many modern Earth careers are directly applicable to pony society...
Keep going! ;)
Wow, Rose is pushing hard. If we were in Noah's shoes I would probably be much more curious and maybe concerned at how she keeps using suggestive language...
So she can feed off the residual lust permeating his magazine? Interesting. Also interesting is what will happen when she starts applying some of the "advice" in said material.
Speaking of material, we wonder what was in the letter he received the other day. Or maybe it was mundane.
Keep going! ;)
The adventures of a changeling on a mission. I wonder just how many mistakes she is going to make in this relationship? Possibly quite a few.
7571487 I agree
Oh my can't wait for the next chapter
7570952 Wouldn't any good friend want to know?
7571026 That isn't a meal. It's like a sweet scent or a taste. Sure, it kind of tastes like sugar, but you're not going to live off that, not even for one meal.
Is this a sequel to anything?
7571566 Not that I know of.
Well this story is different and interesting. I hope you update it soon, but no rush. ^^
7571605 I plan on daily.
with most bovines she ever saw - with most bovines she ever saw --or-- with any bovine she'd ever seen
She turned the magazine - She turned the page
She had swore - She had sworn
He may hate her - He might hate her
She's the one that insisted - She was the one that had insisted
tore as it was - torn as it was
at his castle - at this castle (maybe not a typo if Spike thinks of it as his castle too and not just Twlight's)
She remembered that - She'd remembered that
lips or wing - lips or a wing
leading her gazing - leaving her gazing
*****
Interesting, interesting...
And now I'm going to be wondering what Twilight's reaction to looking through that magazine is going to be. Taken out of context it gives the entirely wrong impression of humans.
*****
and
Correct me if I'm wrong, but only queens have the jagged horn, yes? Intriguing that she doesn't know what she is.
*****
Literally, even.