• Member Since 27th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

dragonjek


Don't tell anyone, but I like ponies.

T

Only a small number of bat ponies remained in Equestria after the disaster of Nightmare Moon. The majority fled, not trusting the nation after being betrayed by their own Princess. But with Luna's thousand year exile having come to a close, it is time for them to rejoin the fold, and no pony is better suited for negotiating that task than the Princess of Friendship herself.

However, when the captain of your escort is Indigo Zap, who suffers from a severe case of Lust At First Sight, and has an ego to put Rainbow Dash's to shame, things get a little more complicated than merely healing millennium-long tensions.

Thanks to bahatumay for pre-reading.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 86 )

Hell and silence, I can fight it, I can fight it

A good story. Thanks for the read, and break. :twilightsmile:

6709711
Innocence and sentiment,
Is owned by hope, it's where you're at,


6709838
I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was fun to write, too.

Sequel please:fluttercry: if not, u make more fluttercry

“Just some magic to let everypony walk on clouds...

Can't Bat-ponies walk on clouds ?

And here I thought I was the only one to think of the IndigoxTwilight thing, my friend and me call it Twizap for short XD

Cute story, very funny, at some point, Zap reminds me to Dash... Maybe the fact that those two tend to have a big mouth lol
Is there a chance this get another chapter? Or maybe a sequel? Another story with these two would be nice too :twilightsmile:

6710151
I might return to it someday, but at the moment I've got other stories in the works that I need to finish.

6710340
The bat ponies don't have weather magic like pegasi do; they've got shadow magic instead.

6710429 A.. ok, what other differents between the pegasus and bat-pony ?

6710419
I've got a love for obscure, unlikely pairings.
I'm afraid this won't be getting another chapter, and a sequel is only a distant possibility. However, I do have a story planned that features another TwiZap, but it isn't very high on my priority list.

6710442
Bat ponies can't fly as fast as pegasi, but they can be more maneuverable.

Because of the phalanges in their wings, bat ponies are capable of finer manipulation. The show shows us pegasi using their wings nearly like a pair of clumsy hands, but bat wings are supported with hand bones and are capable of very small adjustments that feathers can't do. This lets them catch more air with each wingbeat and is why, despite looking like they're flailing at the air, bats use less energy to fly than birds do.

Of course, both pegasi and bat ponies rely on magic to fly at all. Bat pones can also stand on ceilings. Although they're called "bat ponies", they don't actually have echolocation; their hearing is sharper than that of other ponies, however.

Bat ponies are nocturnal while pegasi are diurnal (although pegasi of the Night Guard adopt a different sleep cycle).

6710474 Woohoo! I'll give you a watch, s when you write it, I'll know then :3

And I am around the same line, most of my pairings, not just from MLP, are pairings that not so much people know, or like :)

Their fangs are going to get caught when they smooch... :rainbowlaugh:

*reads title*
*song gets stuck in head*
You bastard. :pinkiehappy:

Promising start, let's see what you do next :pinkiehappy:

Welp, guess I ship this now.

Amusing and yet still very pleasant read. Great job :twilightsmile:

Interesting. Nice and fluffy without any nonsense reasons for drama.

Have an upwards pointing thumb.

Solid writing. The story was pretty good too. I actually liked that idea of Twilight taking on some draconic characteristics. I think you could build something epic from that if you're so inclined. The only thing that prevented me from enjoying the story fully was Indigo Zap. Really bad first impression. She just set somepony up just so she can tear her down in the bitchiest way possible. Ugh. :facehoof: I disliked her immensely. Too bad there wasn't enough time to redeem this character.

Other than that I'd give this a 7/10.

Ri2

So…Alicorns have second eyelids because Magic thinks Spike's a pony? Huh. I'm curious about those other traits...

6711941
Yea I don't get that either, wouldn't that mean all ponies have two eyelids like dragons and reptiles?

You know, I don't think I've yet read a single fic on this site where the same-gender advances are ever rejected. *shrugs*
-
Nice idea for the purpose behind the tattoos.

Ri2

6712152 No, just Alicorns since they embody all ponies.

I think the lack of redemption on the part of Indigo Zap, and the lack of consequences, really makes this story feel limp. I kept expecting Twilight to learn of how much of a bitch Indigo has been to the other ponies, for the whole thing to come back and bite her, but it never does.

6712263

Are you implying.... straight shipping?

OH.
MY.
LUNA.

*triggered*

*Migraine ends, turns on computer*
Before I check my notifications, let's see what's new on the--
*In the Dark of the Night in the Feature Box, 130 notifications left for me*

Oh. Oh, wow.
If I were any less dignified, I'd respond like a giddy, excited child. But I'm a reasonable adult, so you won't see that from me.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
6710749
Love that song so much.

6710801
?

6710916
Especially since poor Twilight isn't used to hers.
Ah, well. I'm sure that Indigo Zap is good at adapting to that sort of thing.

6711297
And here I thought that would be something to thank me for...

6711304
Sorry, but I'm not looking at continuing this any time soon. I do have another TwiZap (IndigoLight? What is the name of this ship?) planned out, but other works have higher priority.

6711396 6711451
I'm glad you enjoyed it!

6711422
:ajsmug:

6711444
Then I shall now bake my victory cake.

6711509
I had worried that I had kept it too simple, but this is reassuring. Thank you.
______________________________________________________________________________________

Like I said, completely dignified.
:trixieshiftleft:
:trixieshiftright:
i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll40/JazzEx022/131483703449.gif
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/433/124/7fa.png
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/2f/54/f8/2f54f81a5b233eba4214b44a04f55d6d.jpg
i.imgur.com/OykLe.gif

6710749

This is what popped into my head first

- “H-hi! I’m, uh, I’m Fruit Fluff. So… I was wondering, when we get to Nightlorn Vale and have some free time, would you like to…?”
- “I’d rather die in a fire.”

static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/10/106562/3075386-burn.jpg

You know, from the comments, I thought Zip didn't get he comeuppance. Then she fell for Twilight. Hard. AND TWILIGHT IS DENSE! :trollestia::rainbowlaugh:

6711765
Now that you mention it, I may have gone a bit far in trying to keep her a jerk. Although I don't have any immediate plans for continuing this story, a dragon-influenced Twilight is an idea that's been on the backburners for a while.
Thanks for the rating

6711801
I've found it difficult to balance between not being descriptive enough, or being overly so to the point of being pedantic. Good to know I hit the mark this time!

6711941

wings changing in bone and composition

They changed into bat pony wings, flutterpony wings, changeling wings, and a few rare varieties of birds wings only seen in certain subraces of pegasi. Not penguin wings, though, although I desperately wanted to include them. I just can't find a reason for penguin pegasi other than to be as ridiculous as possible.

her horn twisting

I went ahead and decided that changelings were a type of pony; it also grew smooth and curved, as those who follow the same path of magic as Sombra end up transforming themselves into a whole new type of pony. It's actually a corruption of crystal pony magic--it's a chunk of living, symbiotic crystal imbedded into his skull. In my headcanon, at least.

gills sprouted along her neck

Seaponies, hippocampi, sirens, and merponies

her tail took new form

Most of the above have different tails. They also get the "classic" unicorn tail, which has evolved out of modern unicorns.

claws grew where hooves once were

Hrulgin from David Eddings Belgariad are a type of fanged, clawed, carnivorous mostly-horse; Hippogriffs also have claws/talons, as do hippalectryons.

these and other changes danced across her body

Her body turned crystalline (Cadance, despite only being at the first stage of alicornhood, can also do this), she grew taller from the influence of the desert ponies of Saddle Arabia, grew a carapace, grew scales, lost all her teeth, grew a beak, grew her teeth back as fangs, grew antennae, and so on.

silence to cover sensitive ears that shouldn’t be exposed to a bustling city so soon

Bat pony

more water to put out her flaming mane

That's actually just Twilight.

an apple as her tail grew a mouth and tried to bite the floor

A race of ponies partially inspired by the futakuchi-onna of Japanese mythology. These ponies eat via their mane and tail, don't have face-mouths, and have psychic powers. They freak other ponies out, so they mostly stick to themselves in tiny villages in hidden places. I imagine them being the accidental origin of the slenderpony stories.

Those are just the ones I thought of, though. I could pull more pony races from Ponyfinder if I took a moment for it, or just imagine some of the top of my head.

6712152
Nope. Just alicorns. Being the embodiments of ponykind keeps them "up to date", as it were. And they don't manifest all the traits at once (seriously, they'd look like horrifying monsters!), so stick to the most widely accepted earth pony/pegasus/unicorn combo.

6712263
I have, but no more than three. When a game's/show's/book's main characters are almost entirely one gender, you get a massive amount of homosexual fanwork even if the ones making it don't normally go for that. Harry Potter? I don't want to read about Hermione and Ginny. Naruto? Hinata and Sakura stories aren't my cup of tea. But go to Puella Magi Madoka Magica fansites, and I'll just sit there reading about Sayaka and Kyoko for hours.

6712660
I see your point. I could have extended the story to cover that confrontation.

6712898
Then you have more class than I do.
Thanks for the song, btw.

6712900
But... but then she'd live through the fire. And that'd be awful. I mean, then she'd be stuck with Fruit Fluff.

6713062
The cost of treatment for broken nuzzles from facehoofs adds up. By the time Twilight figured out something was going on, she'd paid a few times over.

Not bad, not bad.

You made a nice little gem here, really.

~Skeeter The Lurker

6712867 I was thanking you. Surely you noticed the ":pinkiehappy:"?

Evil will find her~
In the dark of the night just before dawn~

It crash ended a bit, but was still enjoyable.

Comment posted by TheVideoMaker deleted Dec 9th, 2015

Okay interesting idea to use Indigo Zap, nice to see someone use a pony version of her for once, and bonus points for making her a actual Shadow Bolt :rainbowlaugh:, i like some of the changes Twilight got when her body was showing off some of the other pony races, though i do wonder where the Tail with a mouth came from, and half of me is surprised you didn't bring up a second horn growing (Bicorn, but then again it is sometimes a cow with panther trait's instead of a two horned unicorn), though either way i found it rather interesting and hope the next chapter will be just as interesting.

Also i will say that the part with Indigo Zap before she seen Twilight was a nice way to show off this versions personality,

6712152
If i had to guess it might have to do with there is at least one Pony/Dragon hybrid that exist in myth, it is known as a Longma's and i am guessing that with his "interest" in ponies over dragon's in certain aspects Spike might be the precursor of a possible Longma tribe, though i do wonder what other small trait's Alicorn's would get from other possible hybrid race's such as a Griffin/Pony hybrid, also known as a Hippogriff.

6712660
No, I'm not implying anything. I'm stating. To re-iterate: to my recollection, I've never read a fic where one character is gay (of either gender) for another, and after going through the effort of befriending them, confesses their feelings, and is shot down when the object of their affections is in fact, NOT interested in pursuing that kind of relationship with another of their own sex. It'd make a good tragedy fic.

6715260 thats not tragedy. Its a statistic.

6713217 6713236
I'm glad you enjoyed it!

6713246
I did, but misinterpreted the meaning of the smile. I thought it was a "no, it's fine" smile, not a "whoo, I've got that song in my head again!" smile.

6713881
'Revenge will be sweet,
When the curse is complete!
In the dark of the night,
She'll be gone!"

6714220
I had some difficulties with the confession scene, yeah.

6714899
Thanks! I always wished that the Shadowbolts would show up again as an actually group--it was nice to slip them in as a sports team in the movie, but just not enough, I felt. And Indigo Zap needs more love. As for the various pony types influencing here, I describe a lot in this 6713075 post. I completely forgot about the longma, though--I think Spike being the origin of them is a good idea, though.

6714953
Thanks.

6715260 6715707
Oh? While simple rejection isn't tragedy, what this does to the friendship between the characters and the possible fallout of this failed confession would certainly make for an excellent basis for a tragic story. Tragedies aren't formed of sad things happening, of but character flaws; while being gay certainly doesn't count, the reactions of each side afterwards would be an opportunity for their flaws to be exploited to devastating effect.

6715746
Well, when you have a shared reverence for Day and Night, and happen to be squarely in the middle of the two, it's kind of hard to be appreciative of both at once without coming off as sort of egotistical. She'd be horribly embarrassed if you brought that up.
Completely intentional on my part, though.

6715802
Thank you! World-building is one of my favorite parts of writing.

Really nice story, the world building certanly gave a sense of grandeur,like this was just a small story within the world, really looking forward to some Luna and the night watch fighting the terrors of the night :pinkiehappy:

Congrats on getting this featured here have a Fluttershy :yay:

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