Just because a city flew in the sky did not mean it would escape Tirek's endless hunger for power, as the cloud city was soon to learn. It was in the chaos of his attack that Cloudsdale came to realize that magic is more important for some ponies than for others.
For instance, the pegasi needed it to walk on clouds.
And to fly.
For a father separated from his daughter, that flight is more important than ever.
Thanks to Knight of Cerebus for proofreading and to PrincessSaros for letting me use Desolace as cover art.
Now approved by Nonpareil Fiction and The Goodfic Bin!
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Powerful and Grimdark as all get out. Short, brief like bullet. No need for fluff or gore (both things this fic could have had) but you did great by keeping concise. A dad, a daughter and disaster that he was powerless to stop. Favorite and Like for you!
This was amazing. The writing gave me a wonderful mental image of what was happening, and the tone just drips with despair and hopelessness.
6083056
Thanks! Because we don't actually know that much about Cloudsdale, just describing destruction would have less of a personal touch. I had to create Cloudsdale before I could tear it down, and I'm glad that it fit smoothly into the story without seeming like padding.
6083861
That's a pretty accurate summation of the story.
6083884
Job accomplished! I hadn't written anything for MLP yet with that real depth of emotion, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I've reviewed your story for the FBI. You can find it here.
this was a bit of a dark, yet plausible, circumstances that could have been going on during tirek's "reign". the fact that there isn't any real amount of gore shown, either having the character go through or having been watched through their eyes, kind of adds to the impact of the overall feel of the story.
6089519
Thank you! I love in-depth reviews like that.
6098239
Apart from shock or disgust, I feel that gore tends to get in the way of the reader's first emotional reaction to a story.
Given that this is a very nice story indeed, I feel this story is a shoe-in for the Goodfic Bin.
Have a ribbon. Use it wisely. Details are here.
i.imgur.com/GizVyc0.png
6246893 I'm glad that you've accepted and enjoyed it, and thank you for the ribbon.
*Politely bows, waits for guest to leave. Looks around furtively to ensure no one's watching*
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121116143346/mlp/images/0/07/A_library%3F_S3E1.png
When now I want to know happened if they make it.
6672787
They're actually based on background ponies
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/7/7f/Purplish_male_Pegasus_at_cloud_factory_S1E16.png/revision/latest?cb=20110713225510
img00.deviantart.net/554a/i/2014/347/1/6/chirpy_hooves_1_by_painbowcrash-d89qchl.jpg
that looked remarkably similar to a certain beloved wall-eyed pony, so Chirpy would probably go stay with Aunt Derpy now that she's been... y'know... orphaned.
Wow, that was painful. Well done.
6737439
I feast upon your tears.
Wow, that's a strong ending!
I have to thank you for this story, never before have I thought about the consequences of pegasi stripped off their magic. You have there really great theory about how cloud cities are constructed. Of course, the feels and the tension are the biggest plus of this story. Though... wouldn't the clouds under Tirek dissipate too? Why do the demolished houses turn into a rainbow muck?
Also, be aware that there are a few errors just as misplaced his/her and a few unclear sentences such as
Wow. Very hard-hitting. I'm glad the real story didn't turn out this way. Watching such a magnificent civilization fall, and a city like Cloudsdale, is heartbreaking. Are you doing to explore the fall of other cities as well?
8016640 Thank you! I'm afraid I won't be looking into the other cities, though. This is just an idea that occurred to me in a moment of fridge-horror inspiration.
You can has review!