• Member Since 27th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

dragonjek


Don't tell anyone, but I like ponies.

E

Winner of Rage Reviews' "F*** THIS PROMPT!!!" #1

Fluttershy finds herself in the unwelcome position of being the subject of a tiny, red-and-black alicorn's crush.

Approved by the Nonpareil Fiction group.

And it earned the following awards for its victory in the prompt contest, receiving both the Angsty Alicorn Award and the Art of the Fanfic Award, right beside each other. Strange, I know.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 48 )

Well, you got me to crack up. Well done, and you are definitely in the running for F*** THIS PROMPT!

Here we go again XD
That little colt reminds of someone I knew years ago. He wasn't very well liked...
Great story, and amazing keeping of character.

That actually really cute

That was a thing.





. . . Upvoted.

Hmm. Well. First story you've submitted on the site... contest designed to be the most challenging to advanced authors...

Please congradulate our victor of F*** THIS PROMPT #1!!!

Congratulations on your victory. This was an entertaining story.

Only 11 likes (including mine)?! WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS???

5705899 It seems not everyone is amused by the continuous overabuse of the "let's make a crackfic about red and black alicorn ocs". It's simply a matter of oversaturation. Supply and demand really.

Not saying this is a crackfic. But still... supply and demand.

this, this right here, this story that i just ride and enjoyable, this was your first story on the site? really? because i find that hard to believe. it's so amazingly well put together. not enough praise can be given to it.

Hah! Puppy love. :pinkiehappy:

Underneath the name was a crude drawing of what was either a pony holding a flower in its mouth, or an octopus with a hernia wearing a beanie.

:rainbowlaugh:

Best imagery ever...

Also,

Fluttershy didn’t get a chance to finish before Pansy turned and ran away with chocked sobs, hiding his face behind his wings as he galloped as far from her as he could go.

"Choked."

5705899
5706544
nioniosbbbb has the right of it. Part of attracting attention (and thus attracting thumbs, preferably with readers attached) is writing to what the audience likes, which is why there will never be a moment when both the featured and popular boxes are absent of clop.

5706654

this was your first story on the site? really?

I am overwhelmed by your praise!
But do note the emphasis here. I have a non-pony story over at fanfiction.net--although just one, I've been working on it for a while. This is just my first venture into writing MLP.
Well, publishing MLP. I set aside my half-finished (well, quarter-finished) one-shots to work on the prompt.

5706661
I like a lot of different kinds of love, but I don't think any of them match puppy love for sheer d'aww factor.
And thanks for pointing out that misspelling. Corrected.

5706753
oh, sorry. guess i might have been a little too flabbergasted when i typed that up. still, if you are able to write something like this when only a small handful of stories on your belt, doesn't matter if it's on this site or another, that is still praise worthy in and of itself.

5706753 I am really sorry that happens too. Because we almost act like hipsters and never give those who write stuff that are similar to old ideas a chance.

5707158 A sequel isn't presently on the table, sorry! I might come back to it one day, but at the moment I've got other stories to finish writing.

Wow, the detail and quality of this writing is amazing! :pinkiehappy: I love the story idea- so funny- and you did an amazing job of portraying Fluttershy's shy nature and extreeeeme timidity. I love detailed stories and this is one of my favorites so far :twilightsmile:

Congrats bro! You beat us with pride.

5709093
Thank you! The word "favorite" is an author's ambrosia.

5709658
?

5709891
Thank you! Although I am honestly surprised that our places weren't reversed.

That was adorable :pinkiesmile:

Vurry kyoot! Thanks for sharing your story! :yay: I really enjoyed the writing style, the pacing, and the humor. I kind of felt bad for Pansy at the end, but youth is resilient!

Only mistake I think I noticed: "if Pansy it is a ‘he’ at all."

5712414
5714054
Thank you for your praise!
(Mistake corrected)

How Not to Woo a Fluttershy.
Petrol Pansy.
Cutie Mark Crusaders Timber Wolf Midwives.

Strike one, strike two, strike three. Sir, you have struck gold.

5704619
That was pretty much exactly my response after I read it, before I checked the comments.

5743740
At which point you decided "oh, hell no" and closed the tab as quickly as your internet connection permitted?


5716162
Thank you! I'm particularly proud of that last one, although I have no idea how I came up with it.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Timber Wolf Midwives.”

I fell out of my chair at that part, I was laughing too hard!

5833690
My thoughts exactly.

5836603
*bows*
I aim to please.
Unfortunately, I have a bad aim, so you'll have to settle with humor.

I was reorganizing my folders, and I just saw you put the awards up. And I am so glad you put those two awards next to each other.

Props.

6273867 Thanks. I take a perverse, probably unhealthy pride in seeing them side-by-side.

6274541
As you damn-well should. I'm impressed to this day how well you pulled that off.

Oh my god. How is this a thing? I have only been with the fandom for about five (maybe six) months and even I know that red alicorns are stupid ideas.
Why do I love this little guy so much? This is a really good story. I would love to see more.

6361250 Welcome to the fandom, then--although I guess a few months later is a bit late to say that. I'm glad you've enjoyed it (both MLP and my fic).

I think the bigappeal of Petrol Pansy is how I've styled him to avoid just about everything you'd expect to read about a red and black alicorn, but without making a direct mockery of the cliche.
He's red and black, yeah--but it's a dull brick red, and his black mane & tail are more like puddles of oil than anything majestic. He's short, shy, nervous, and despite being an alicorn he is hopelessly out of his league in his little crush. He's a stalker, but he's just a foal and is sweet about it so it becomes cute rather than creepy.

A RaBA is supposed to be this big, powerful thing (with a name that is definitely not "Pansy"). Characters are supposed to like him, not be made nervous by him. He's supposed to be skilled and great so others will be in awe of him, not a fumbling kid who's as fallible as anypony else. He isn't supposed to get caught and punished for his wrongdoings (not that a red and black alicorn ever does wrong!) Instead of a one-dimensional vessel for edgy wish fulfillment, this little guy is just another foal--one who has power and money, yes, but a character that is as real and relatable as any decently written, non-alicorn foal.

6364363
That was more thought out than I was expecting. Dude.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Timber Wolf Midwives.”
“…”
“…”
“I honestly have no idea how I’m supposed to respond to that. Are they all right?”

You and me both Spike.

Adorable story. I'm not entirely happy with the resolution of Pansy obsessing over Fluttershy, but you were working on a time limit and the whole piece is good anyway so I understand. Also a fan of how you dissected the prompt and made Pansy a unique and interesting character. If you wrote more I would be willing to read it, and I think you've actually got a follower in me. So yay! :derpytongue2:

6435824 Pansy's basically just a kid with a crush (and unfortunate stalker tendencies, combined with a metric shit-tonne of power). While I suppose I could have gone a bit deeper into the end of his pursuit of Fluttershy, I wanted to emphasize that he's... well, a child. I thought the way it resolved would do a good job at that.

6435882
I suppose from the "he's just a kid" angle, I probably shouldn't have been expecting the object of his affection to successfully explain why what he was doing is wrong to him, so good job on ending it given that. I rescind my minor objection for 100% approval. (up from 99! :D)

Lol and so it begins again! :yay:

6521399 Poor Scootaloo!
Or not? Maybe he learned something out of this?
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
No.

Nice story. Still a few typos tho. Best one that I read so far

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