Fluttershy admired Rainbow Dash. Since their time together in flight school, she wondered what it would be like to say it aloud. Of course, Rainbow already knew, but saying it aloud would change everything. So it was never said.
Years later, as Rainbow, Fluttershy, and their friends are poised to step onto the stage of Equestrian politics, those words don't seem nearly so daunting. A simple question.
The answer, however, might prove enough to tear Ponyville apart at the seams.
Entry for the FlutterDash group's contest "Change".
Chapters (4)
Oh, its over already? Why couldn't it be another billion or so words longer or something? Ah well, better to end with an audience wanting more, than to end long after the audience wanted it to.
Great story, man. Keep it up!
~ Chapter: 13
No comments yet? Really?
I liked this. The change between younger and older Fluttershy makes the ending much more satisfying.
A lot of shipping stories give no real reason for the two characters to be together, while this one nicely elaborates on where their feelings come from, along with the messy scary process of falling for each other.
7656597 Thanks! Both for the comment, and the reminder that I need to finish reading the rest of the contest entries. So far I've only read a few of the shorter ones.
Best of luck in the contest!
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #96.
My review can be found here.
Just a side note - is this story actually complete? It feels kind of like it ends without really resolving the conflicts in the story.
7680390 It's complete insofar as I didn't expect to write any more of it. I agree that the story doesn't really end, and it's only marked as Complete so that it would be eligible for the contest. I barely managed to finish what's there by a very narrow margin.
And thanks for the review! You've definitely convinced me to consider coming back to this once I've got more time on my hands.
7680589
Aha! I kind of figured that was what happened, given that the release date of this was the final day of the competition.
If you do write more of this, I'd love to read it.
Normally, conflict of interests would be an issue but I think in this case, being element bearers who are selfless, it really doesn't matter if Pinkie, Rarity, and AJ have businesses of their own. They wouldn't abuse power just to benefit themselves.
7853471 They're demonstrably not selfless, though. Sweet and Elite is one example, and there are many more. They're good ponies, but they're not paragons of virtue.
7853471 Okay, maybe you have a point, there...
So much to say, most of it good. This story goes through quite a few relations and issues.
Fluttershy acting like someone else we have seen in the show, this 'new' Fluttershy aspect if interesting, though I expect it all to fall apart eventually. She is working very hard to show Dash that she is someone she isn't. Now, she could slowly change herself to actually enjoy some of what she is doing now, the flight and trick lessons are probably a good idea in general for her, but if she is shutting off her real self while they are together, well, that can only be kept up for so long. Cracks will start up. It's also telling of one major issue by how little they tend to talk about things on their dates. Or, at least, Flutters doesn't talk about anything she really cares about. I feel that conversation will not be a big thing in this relationship, for however long it lasts.
I was interested on whether or not Pinkie fitting perfectly along Rainbow Dash's back was some kind of potential tell, but I suppose we'll find out as time goes on.
The whole "Princess council' thing is another interesting angle. The group flipping out about that one question was a bit silly. Are the members of the council going to be biased in one way or another? No shit. They are ponies, not machines. Celestia and Luna are most likely biased along different ideas as well. I'm sure Celestia's School for Gifted unicorns has little issue funding wise, ya know? And we have not heard of a similar school endorsed by either sister.
Yeah, they are going to be biased, freaking out over it like they did is a little silly, but this IS their first brush with politics and power, so I can understand them being concerned. Twilight suddenly deciding to do the whole thing on her own as opposed to suspending it until they can talk it over or get some advice from other ponies in politics is a bit...extreme, but I can see her doing it. A little mean of her though, tossing all her friends out of the idea over one little issue like that. Heck, at least Flutters should have been brought back in, considering her utter lack of ties to businesses and ponies in general.
I do like ponies starting to proposition the mane six for favors to get their interests sent forward. Even if they go to the princess as well, a little nudge for safety sake isn't bad. Curious to see if it steam rolls for Flutters, since the one idea she was supposed to bring up with Twilight got approved.
Eh, not really. When your best friends literally have to break into your home just to talk to you because you decided to take a job on all by yourself as opposed to going to them for help, well, your the foalish one.
I just hope they figure out a way to get Twilight out of this, or show up and start helping her with or without her consent. She asked them to be part of the council, and it's just mean to continue it without them over one hangup that isn't really a big deal. But talking, talking really needs to happen.
I will say that their issues with being part of the council are mostly easy to fix. If Twilight is a princess and now ruling, then she should have access to a budget. A budget that should be able to take care of paying for lost wages and time *hiring a part timer at the farm, at the cakes, Rarity's shop, etc,etc* That takes care of most of the issues besides Dash's, since you can't hire someone to train for you.
Well, regardless of all this, I look forward to seeing how this story continues. It is a unique and interesting read.
Wait. Wait.
*scrolls up, goes to the chapter overview. Reads 'incomplete'*
Nooooooo I've read an incomplete story and now I can't finish it. And that despite staying up an hour later than I'd wanted to. Nooooooo-- wait. This means there's more to come, yes? Yeeeeees!!
Anyway, this really pulled me in. As a fellow writer, I feel that I should have meaningful critique or something insightful to say, but besides that you're handing RBDash maybe a bit too much of an idiot stick, I can't say much. You made me grin or even laugh out loud a few times (Dash's escape through the window, the ineffective cloud head bumping -- marvelous), and I think you're handling the characters really well. It's a gem in the making... or exactly what I needed at this point in time. I really hope you'll continue and eventually finish the story.
7987927 Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I'm incredibly grateful for the criticism. I knew while I was writing the most recent chapter that Dash's obliviousness was teetering on the edge of credulity, which is mostly because chapter three was originally the end and I didn't have any plans to take the story any further. I'll keep an eye on that in the future.
This story's a bit of a black sheep, but I've got most of the next chapter drafted and a fairly specific idea of where I'm going, so there will definitely be a conclusion.