• Member Since 28th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 37 minutes ago

Doubt


Integrating...

T
Source

Fluttershy's last expedition to find and observe the breezies had been an amazing experience for her, all things considered, but if there was one thing about it she hadn't loved, it was having nopony there to share the experience with.

Now, presented with the similar opportunity, Fluttershy decides to invite Rainbow Dash and Rarity on her latest expedition to the Crystal Forest. The expedition, however, ends up being far more dangerous than any of them ever expected...

As well as having to avoid the ever-present threat of the wildlife living on the island, the three are forced to deal with seemingly inexplicable magical phenomena and the mental toll of being separated from one another. They discover forgotten history buried in time, new and exotic creatures, and, for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, emerging feelings for each other.

Note: takes place before the events of Season 4

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 43 )

Magical wisps, giant stone monsters, forests that had minds of their own, even a sea monster that preyed on boats that approached the island, they were interesting stories no doubt, but Fluttershy reasoned that most of it must be made up.


I believe Fluttershy has encountered all of those things depending how you define Magical wisps. :trollestia: :yay:

This has gotta be one of the best MLP Stories I've read in months!

Its gripping, fun... involves Flutterdash and adventure. I like it:rainbowkiss::yay:

I really like how Fluttershy, RD and Rarity are interacting. Makes me wish this was an actual episode from the show... :scoot angel:

Please keep going soon.

5043997 Thanks! :pinkiehappy:

I've spent way too much time planning this out to not see this through to the end, so you can be assured that I will. (heck, I even have plans for a sequel.) :rainbowwild:

5045081 I like the sound of that, hav a follow :twilightsmile:

Woah! Wait, what? That makes it sound kinda freaky.

The last part of the chapter was a bit of a surprise there when they found the mushroom field. Nice chapter. Things continue to build nicely and I really like how you continue to capture Rarity, Fluttershy and Dashie.

I kind of want a copy of The Ultimate Expeditioning Handbook now. It's full of such sound advice.

Only one fic to call your own huh? I gotta say, for a first, it's prey good.

5275388 I appreciate the compliment.

The Saddle Arabian Assassin

Is this pony called Altier?

Or is this a reference to an actual book that I really need to read? Coz I want to read it!

I think i See a potential closer bond incoming.

This story continues to be excellent!

You did not just quack at me!

The reason why the expendition must go as army because of the danger!

Why they don't ask an army from the Princesses to go with them?!

5332647

Fluttershy didn't ask for an army from the princesses because she doubts that the rumors of dangerous things on the island are true. Most of the history of the island has been lost over the hundreds of years since ponies last lived there, so Fluttershy doesn't know what to expect.

I can tell that English isn't your first language, so I hope that my response was clear. :twilightsheepish:

I'm still loving this story. Its really well written and your characters are all spot on.

5715652

Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. :twilightsmile:

Great chapter, thank you for continuing!

5729520 Thank you for commenting!

I'm really enjoying this so far. The dialogue in particular is very well written; their bantering feels perfectly natural and is very entertaining. The mushroom field was quite intriguing, and a little bit unsettling. I'm pretty curious now what other things they're going to encounter, and how dangerous their journey might become.

Overall, this is a really solid story. Looking forward to reading more!

5732278 Thank you. :twilightsmile:

I'm glad you like it and appreciate that you took the time to comment. I'm hoping that, since it's the weekend, I'll be able to knock out a large portion of the writing on this next chapter.

5729644 Am I special somehow?

5735252 Well, I wasn't really trying to imply that; I was just throwing a thank you back your way.

You:

Great chapter, thank you for continuing!

Me:

Thank you for commenting!

That's not to say that you aren't special, but personally I can't vouch for that. :derpytongue2:

I'm going to echo Excursive's sentiments - nice job so far! You're doing a particularly good job keeping everyone in-character.

Nicccce.

The chase scene was very well done and gripping. Poor Rarity, still thats what she gets for prying. At least now that she is out of it, Dash and Fluttershy can talk without the drama queen to go on about it.

I'm hoping for more soon because you've left me hanging. I want to see some Flutterdash plz :rainbowwild::yay:
I really like how you built up Dash and Fluttershy's relationship and how Rarity has made an effect similar to a nuke going off for them both. It spices up the story while also making it feel very real and not forced.
I'm also lookin forward to the coming night, more cuddles in the tent? :pinkiehappy:

6027946

I'm also lookin forward to the coming night, more cuddles in the tent? :pinkiehappy:

Well I wouldn't want to give anything away... :raritywink:

An excerpt from The Ultimate Expeditioner's Handbook:
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Very enlightening. :twilightsmile:

6423515

The standard response from the P.R. for The Ultimate Expeditioner's Handbook reads as follows:

The Ultimate Expeditioner's Handbook prides itself on providing the most insightful information on the subject of expeditions but makes no guarantees to the accuracy of any factual claims presented. We value your correspondence but are not responsible for any physical or emotional harm you may have sustained after reading The Ultimate Expeditioner's Handbook.

Best wishes.

Well this has taken a ...different turn than expected.
The awkwardness between the two pegasi was so well done, I wound up reading the whole thing in their voices :rainbowdetermined2::yay:
I really want another chapter so I can find out what has happened to Dash. Surely she will fly in and save Fluttershy at the last moment.... Right?

6424416

If there's one thing I consider myself to be an expert on, it's awkward situations. :raritywink:

And I'll try to get this next chapter done in a more timely manner to answer those burning questions of yours.

Nice chapter. The Crystal Forest sure does have some odd things going on.
I think Dash is lying though and I hope that her claim that she has given up on liking Fluttershy is proven false when she meets Fluttershy again.

6950539 Maybe she just needs a little nudge from a certain pony. :raritywink:

There are wayyyy too many good fics on this site without endings. Is this going to be one of them?

8065619
The problem I ran into, and the reason why this fic is marked incomplete for the moment, is because I didn't know the ending to the story I wanted to tell. I was trying to write a story which explored the balance between chaos and order on multiple different scales--from the personal relationships we form, to the direction we take in life, to the relationship we have to the cultures we live in--but what I realize now, is that I had no clue what that balance between chaos and order would look like. However I believe I do know now what that balance looks like, and I'm not at all the first person to seek it out.

The ancient Egyptians told stories that tried to find the answer to this problem through myths about their gods, and while they undoubtedly failed many times, the stories which people found most compelling were passed down and became ingrained in Egyptian culture. Specifically, they had a myth which involved three gods: Osiris, the wise king who protects and provides, but is also rigid and willfully blind (represents an orderly culture/society). Seth, the resentful and murderous brother of Osiris who wants himself to be king (represents chaos and malevolence). And Horus, gifted by the ability to see clearly, and the son of Osiris.

The story goes that Osiris, being the old and willfully blind king that he is, turns a blind eye to his resentful brother, and consequently, is killed by Seth who seizes power for himself. Egypt descends into chaos with Seth as king, and it falls to Horus to save the people. Horus confronts Seth (chaos, the unknown) directly and defeats him, but has one of his eyes torn out in the fight. Horus then goes to the underworld where he finds the ghost of his father, Osiris, and he gives him his eye so that Osiris can see. This is what makes Horus different to Seth. Instead of tearing down his old and rigid culture, Horus revivifies it and guides it forward. Because even though his culture is old and rigid, he is the son of that culture and it provided for him everything he knew.

This myth specifically deals with the role of chaos and order with regard to culture, but it can also be generalized to work across all aspects of life, however for the sake of brevity I left that out as well as the vast amounts of depth to that myth.

If you're wondering why I wrote all of that out, it's because when I first encountered an analysis of that story, (as well as the rest of the work by Dr. Jordan Peterson, whom I can't recommend more,) it was one of the most profound moments of my life, because I realised that what I had planned for my story here aligned almost perfectly with the story of Seth and Osiris. The thing that stopped me from continuing for so long was that I didn't know what the role my Horus character (Fluttershy) should be.

With all of that said, I've started working toward establishing a better work ethic recently and I hope to reestablish a writing habit. I can't promise that this story will continue, but I would like to see it finished. For the moment, however, I'm working to get a one-shot finished. Once that's done, we'll see where things go from there.

8066056 Thank you for the quick (and thorough) reply. I'm glad to hear you are at least thinking about completing this fic.

8068137 If you had asked just a few days ago, I would have simply said that the future of this fic was completely indeterminate, so your comment was quite timely.

Omg help. It's 12:43 am and I am up reading this :twilightsmile:I'm loving it

8854084
Thanks, I've been going through the older chapters and getting them up a standard I can be proud of before posting the next chapter, since I've finally got an idea about how I want to conclude this story.

Was that the last chapter?

8854183
Not at all. This story might look abandoned but I've been working on getting out the final few chapters.

I am excited that this story is continuing! I liked the world you were building!

Le gasp!

An update!
A good (heavy, yet short..) update.

Please do continue this soon

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