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Calibrating aspirations


Four months after Chrysalis' defeat and the reformation of the entire changeling race, Twilight wakes up in a cage, deep inside the changeling hive, with a glass chain around her ankle and an insecure Thorax staring at her from across the bars.

At least it isn't a pool of changeling mucus this time.

Meanwhile, Trixie and her chitinous new friend work together to take down Thorax's empire of evil and glitter.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

Certainly a bizzare premise, but for what it is the humor is pretty on point. Twilight was quite amusing and on point, especially. :trollestia:

“Or Princess Cadance. I sent a group to go get her, but they missed their train and didn't have enough bits for more tickets.”


I seriously want this to be canon. This is too good not to be.

Hilarious. I never understood why changelings transformed in the first place.

I like the story's concept on its surface, but I have mixed feelings about its execution.

It's got comedy in the reformed changelings' ineptitude at being villains, and it's also got the makings for some sincere drama in the mourning of their loss of magic and self-respect, but rather than complementing one another, they feel like they're tugging the story in opposite directions. The comedy is hampered by the drama (because I now sympathise too much with the changelings to keep laughing at them), and the drama is resolved too quickly and easily for the payoff to be emotionally satisfying (because all it took was somepony to suggest that they simply keep some love for themselves instead of giving it all away).

Overall, I think it might've had greater impact if you'd gone all-in with either the comedy or the drama. Otherwise, it could use some editing so that the funny and serious stuff don't feel like they're competing for dominance.

8097494 I think you hit the nail on the head there. This was my first genuine attempt at comedy, and after the first scene, I knew I had to turn this into something publishable. Unfortunately--in this case, anyway--I find drama a lot easier to write. I also wanted to have this published in time for the season seven premiere, which led to some rushed writing and less editing than I wanted.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate the feedback.

Razzy #6 · Apr 15th, 2017 · · 1 ·

That was hilarious. Especially the part about tickets.

8097373 Seconded.

Thorax narrowed his shiny, beautiful eyes. “I wouldn't be so glib if I were in your place.” He grinned, displaying a wide row of flat, sparkly teeth, perfect for munching leaves.

:twilightblush:: "And now I'm scared. Maybe a little bit."

The thought of more cloyingly colourful neo-changelings galloping down the treacherous, uneven hallway made Twilight's heart skip a beat. What if one of them tripped?

“Or Princess Cadance. I sent a group to go get her, but they missed their train and didn't have enough bits for more tickets.”


“Seriously?” said Twilight. “She was a villain until, like, five minutes ago.”

Never bothered you before, Twilight.

Great story!
Originally I had collected much more "best parts", but since quoting your entire story would lead nowhere I had to cut it down to these four.

I'm just wondering why this doesn't have more likes.
It would definitely deserve them.

(And you may should add the Cover Source.)

I have run out of explanations.

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