• Member Since 26th Nov, 2011
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Rated Ponystar


"You think you know me..."


T

Ponyville is getting ready to host a Dodgeball Tournament when Gilda shows up, challenging them against her own team. As they prepare themselves, Twilight and her friends learn a surprising secret about a certain crossed-eyed mailpony. Will Ponyville be able to beat Gilda and her team? Or will they taste rubbery defeat?

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 298 )

I need more free time... :fluttercry:
I found that free time... This is the greatest thing ever. Pony dodgeball. If it continues like this it should be the national sport.

That was great! :pinkiehappy: I adore Recess, that show was the stuff! Infact, that may have been the last good show Disney had for a while... until Phineas and Ferb of course.

That was awesome. The concept is great, and I can't wait to see some ponies play dodgeball :pinkiehappy:

BR
BR #8 · May 29th, 2012 · · · Part 1 ·

Remember:

DODGE DIP DUCK DIVE AND DODGE

excellent, I await the next chapter :moustache:

This certainly isn't a bad story. You should perhaps work on pushing the "showing" side of things versus "telling" them, such as whenever you say things along the lines of "Twilight felt embarrassed" instead of "Twilight's cheeks flushed as she tried to think of something to say." I was also a little put off by Gilda's personality -- she comes across in the show as more concerned about being cool and not falling in with dweebs rather than maliciously insulting others -- especially at the part where she needles Twilight into accepting her dodgeball challenge. Twilight can still get pissed at Gilda at that point, but Gilda doesn't have to take it that far.

Also, go ahead and get rid of the opening interlude. This story feels enough like an episode without it needing to be there. I'm quite serious: you do pull off the Mane 6 pretty well in terms of character and manner, and I love the whole idea behind this story. Considering half the stories people submit on here anymore are teenaged bronies arriving in Equestria or metafics saying "look at how awesome I am at deconstructing tired tropes" while being tired themselves... I look forward to the next installment of this story.

It's also kind of weird to me that Derpy's a mother, but that's just headcanon issues. Her relationship with her daughter is quite endearing.

665489
Thanks. I kind of needed the bully jerk for this one and I didn't want to make an OC. The only other possible options as "bad guys" were Trixie (Who I can't see being popular enough to get a team) and Flim and Flam which again, I can't see. As for Gilda being a jerk, I'd like to think that while she is sort of the person who cares more about being cool, she kind of seems to me to be the type to hold a grudge as a bully.

Show and telling, thought I managed to clear most of that up but if I missed one or two I'll go back and take another look

As for the interlude, I debated on that. Now that I think about it really doesn't need to be there.

Thanks again for the comments

I think I died from cuteness due to the scene with Dinky.

...We need an emotiocn for "D'aaaaawwwww.":applecry:

I like the premise, can't wait to read more!

this is great, keep the chapters coming, i can smell a great story :)

I feel like the scene where Gilda comes in should be a bit more dramatic. As it is, it seems like she just waltzes in and no one cares where she came from (even with Rainbow's one line asking her).

677529
I'm curious. How could it be more dramatic?

678874
Maybe it's just me, but from the way Dash/Gilda acted at the end of Brush-Off, I would imagine their first confrontation afterwards to be different. The way you have it, when they meet again, they immediately start fighting. CouchCrusader commented on this; Gilda seems a bit too angry and vengeful, from what we've seen of her.

If I were writing (which I'm not, so feel free to ignore me), I would see Gilda as being a bit more apprehensive. Considering the way she was sputtering to get her flip-flop line out at the end of the episode, I don't think she would want to piss off Dash even more. Rather, she would want to patch things up. Of course, I can see how her attitude is vital to the plot. And Gilda certainly could have changed between then and now.

Either way, good story! I look forward to more :pinkiesmile:

682113
Yeah, I know it kind of seems a bit too harsh like for Gilda to act like this, but at the same time she's the only "bad guy" with a close enough attitude to be like this. The only other options were Trixie, which I can't see happening, Flim and Flam, but they seem more like technical guys then athletic, or create an OC which I don't think would have worked out. Gilda was the closest to being a jerk I could get.

But again, Gilda I kind of see as a creature of great pride (both as a lion and as an bird) and after being humiliated and left to hung out by Rainbow Dash I kind of see her wanting to get some sort of payback. And like you said, a long time has happened in between so maybe Gilda might have grown a sense a feeling of betrayal from all this.

Thanks again for your opinion!

If you can dodge a rock, you can dodge a ball! Holy schist Pinkie's version sounds hardcore. :D

Really Gilda isn't that bad she was a slave for petes sake you couldn't find any one else or be a little less harse. I think you could have you discord he magically appears and makes the same deal but he has to be free for a day or week also they'd have to be working for a really big charity (like too pay for hospital equipment) and make a set amount of bits for that to work. Other than that great story can't wait for more chapters.

You, my friend, have made me remember how much I bucking hate Gilda.
I anxiously await justice to be served on that smartass griffin. Give 'em hell. :rainbowwild:

You watched that episode of Recess before you wrote this didn't you?

Not that I'm complaining, this fic is freaking awesome!!!:pinkiehappy:

So what, she killed somepony or something? I want to know what happened.

I remember that episode of Recess too. That being said, is RD Vince, Mikey or Spinelli?

Damn cliff-hangers. Awesome chapter though, eagerly awaiting more@

I thought you said you rewrote this...? It seems exactly the same as I remembered it, except without the theme song at the beginning. :rainbowhuh:


Anyhow, it was worth reading again because I now remember what's going on. Onward to the update!

Holy sweet mother of Celestia! This is awesome and I want MORE! :pinkiehappy:

1210172

I decided to just forget the rewrite

This one desires a significant increase in the amount of words which when placed in a certain order form sentences which form paragraphs which form stories..........or in english I wasnt more!!!

Please.:fluttershysad:

"Buggers". Wow, that's interesting language for Pinkie to use.

Seems like her special talent wasn't rising bubbles, but a hail of deadly dodgeballs. :D

Feel the rubbery thunder of the cross eyed demon!!!!

Feel the rubbery thunder of the cross eyed demon!!!!

Can't wait for more.

Update?! YESH! I really like this vision of Derpy/Ditzy Keep on writing because i just cant stop smiling seeing the updates on some stories. (This being one of them)

as she avoided each tree with ease.[

Random bracket.

Ditzy looked at each of the bullies and wondered, Did I... Did I do this?

Italics for the thought?


Anyhow, I am a horrible person who needs to read more. And not wait 4+ weeks to finally start reading things again. Also, I cannot wait for the next chapter. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

The legend of, El Diablo, I mean the cross eyed demon, begins. :derpyderp2: lol I remember this episode of Recess that is remarkably familiar. :trixieshiftright:

Hoping for more!!!

:pinkiegasp: DERPY/DITZY DOO IS AWESOME!:yay::pinkiehappy: I need more! Please say you have more planned soon! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Hmm... on the one hand: More Derpyball. On the other: Switching out of comedy. Kinda want to see the demon's revenge now.

Daaaaaaaymn! :raritydespair:

This just keeps getting better and better :pinkiehappy:

Owww, that took a turn for the dark so very quickly. Starfall is so very much a massive jerk. I hope she's on the other teams that show up so that she can get royally owned, but from the sound of things she'll probably end up homeless or in the gutter for being such a failhard ass.

That was a little depressing, but good. I despise Starfall now, by the way. Nobody hurts Derpy and gets away with it! Do you think it will take just as long to get the next chapter out, or will it come out sooner?

2143456
Depends how things go. To be honest, on my list of fanfics, this is the lowest in terms of importance, but I'll try my best. I'll try to make them come out quicker.

2143728 I got a little impatient, but I like the results. Take as much time as you need for it. I will enjoy them as they come. Good job on such a great idea, by the way.:pinkiesmile:

deadpool, colt named starfall, don't kill him just leave him in a state of permanent unexplicable pain, have it done yesterday!

Absolutly love it. Can't wait for more.

Starfall stood confident that she would make the team. The Coach had called out Derpys name and the room and been stock silent as they waited for her to arrive. She watched eagerly as he lowered the pen to the board and was about to check her off when....

*SLAM*

The gym doors were almost bucked off there hinges. A lone figure was illuminated in the doorway. A very familiar figure which for all accounts should be lying bleeding and battered in the hospital they'd taken her too under the guise of being attacked.

She walked into the gym, the blinding light around her dimming until they could clearly see they grey furred blonde pegasus. Everyone recoiled slightly.

Her normally derpy eyes were matched up in a glare. The kind of glare that dragons would give to their victims right before swallowing them whole. It was full of anger, and betrayal and poison and the promise of far more pain than she ever was.....

....and all of it leveled at Starfall.

There's always some drama in life, and in ghettos there seems to be more desperation than normal to drive people to extremes.
I get the feeling we'll see Starfall again.
Keep up the good work!

A Dodgeball Story Sweet [I have one I'm Planning but its a Cross between MLP and Super Dodgeball GBA]

[In it the teams make Dodgeball team and play until all the other members of the other team cannot move anymore [Until knocked out]

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