Derpyball

by Rated Ponystar

Part 2

Derpyball

By The Rated Ponystar

Edited by Fernin, Halcyon, Clavier

Artwork done by Tzelly (http://tzelly-el.deviantart.com/)

***

It had been five days since Ponyville had accepted Gilda’s challenge. News of the showdown spread and all of Equestria was talking about it, from the nobles of Canterlot to the pioneers of Appleloosa. Sports reporters eagerly flew to the small, yet famous, town in hopes of getting a big scoop for their newspaper columns, especially since some of the Elements of Harmony were said to be involved. While the dodgeball tournament at large was big news, everypony was more interested in the match between the ponies of Ponyville and the griffins. Word of Gilda’s insults to not only their kind, but to Princess Celestia, caused an outcry. Many were willing to do whatever it took for the sake of their Equestrian pride.

The Architecture and Construction Guild sent in their best workers to help build a big stadium for the tournament, pro bono. With such a rise in attendance, the stadium would have to be big enough to house nearly all of Ponyville and built in a week. Still, the guild promised to deliver and worked nonstop.

Pinkie Pie and Rarity managed to get help as well. Bakers came to assist Sugarcube Corner with their own treats and special recipes, leaving Pinkie plenty of time to help out with the decorations. As for Rarity, she woke up one moring to find a crew of sports designers waiting on her front doorstep. They had been sent by their companies to assist her in making the outfits, provide they were allowed to copy them and sell them for reasonable prices. Rarity could hardly refuse. Besides the match with the griffins, the tournament still had over fifty teams that would be playing, and Rarity needed all the help she could get.

Despite not knowing who Gilda was bringing, everypony was excited and confident about their chances of victory. Well, almost everypony…

***

Dodgeball.

The very word made Derpy cringe. Her efforts to escape the infernal game once and for all were in vain. It seemed that even in the smallest town in Equestria, it followed her. Before she arrived in Ponyville it was but a whisper, now it was all anypony would talk about. Memories she had buried deep in the darkest recesses of her mind suddenly were at the forefront of her brain.

Every street, every corner, bore a reminder of the upcoming tournament—posters, news bulletins, ponies walking around in sportswear, even ponies playing the game itself. There was just no escape from it. She reasoned that it was only for a few more days, and that everything would go back to normal. Until then she would just have to bear it.

“Derpy! Watch out!”

“Huh?” Derpy looked up and realized she was heading straight for a tree. Her tried to reverse her direction, but a second later she was already on the ground, rubbing her noggin. The tree shook for a while as acorns fell from the branches and piled around her. A family of squirrels rushed out of their wooden home and saw their food supply scattered all over the floor. Derpy pressed her ears back as their high pitched aggressive cries were directed at her.

“Oops, my bad,” apologized Derpy. The squirrels stuck out their lounges and climbed back up the branches, most likely to survey the damage that was done. Derpy was about to get up when she saw a hoof raised out to help her.

Carrot Top smiled as she assisted her roommate back onto her hooves. “I think that’s the fifth time you’ve smacked into a tree today. Been busy thinking?”

“You could say that,” answered Derpy, struggling to keep her eyes straight. “Where’s Dinky? She with you?”

“She’s hanging out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders at their clubhouse. They’re trying to earn a ‘Sports Merchandise Selling’ cutie mark.” Carrot Top chuckled. “By the time I left, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom got into an argument about which should be their main selling T-shirt: the Rainbow Dash or Applejack design.”

“I’m really glad those three treat her well,” said Derpy. She knew some of the children teased Dinky because of her eyes and clumsiness. Thankfully, the CMC were always there for her. Even calling her a fellow crusader, since Dinky’s flank was blank just like theirs.

She’s lucky… I never had a friend growing up… thought Derpy, thinking back to her own childhood.

“Anyway, since there’s not much to do, why don’t we go see the athletes training at Sweet Apple Acres?” suggested Carrot Top with a smile.

Derpy’s own smile disappeared. The thought of heading to the training area, where all the news reporters and spectators were gathered to see the competitors train, made her shiver. To make matters worse, some of Equestria’s professional dodgeball teams sent in some of their players and trainers to help coach the competitors, especially the ones competing against the griffins. If any of them recognize who I am…

“Derpy?” asked Carrot Top. Derpy snapped out of her stupor and tried to remain calm. Yet, Carrot Top wasn’t convinced as she tilted her head and stared at her with concern. “You okay? You look a little more spaced out than normal.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Derpy rubbed the back of her head and nervously chuckled. “Just thinking about… um… kiwi!”

The two housemates stood in silence as Carrot Top blinked her eyes a few times. As for Derpy, she was cursing in her head for not thinking of a smarter excuse. Raising her eyebrow, Carrot Top asked, “Kiwi? You were thinking about kiwi?”

“Yes, kiwi,” repeated Derpy, trying to sound as bubbly as ever. It wouldn’t be the first time she said something random so maybe it could work. “I just… was thinking about how… green it is on the inside!”

Carrot Top opened her mouth, but closed it and shook her head. “Okay… Anyway, let’s go. I want to see me some sweating, muscled stallions!” The two soon made their way toward the direction of Sweet Apple Acers. One was smiling and had a skip to her steps, while the other was dragging her hooves and sweating nervously.

***

When the two of them arrived at the farm, they were surprised to see just how many athletes there were. Families and friends stood on hills and sidelines as the competitors trained and sweat under the coaching of their team leaders. Most of them were training for the tournament, but there were a select few locations that were focused only for the team that would face Gilda.

As Derpy and Carrot Top made their way through the crowds, the former could her feel old instincts returning. Her two eyes darted in opposite directions, scanning for any sign of ponies that might recognize her. Nimble Bolt from the Mareesota Blur. Gale Racer from Manehatten Epic. Ricochet from Canterlot Rampage. Not to mention all these reporters! Derpy lowered her head and looked ready to bolt the moment they looked in her direction. This was a bad idea. Why did I even come?!

Carrot Top, however, was oblivious to all this and was beaming with excitement. She took Derpy by the hoof and dragged her down the field, passing the groups one by one. “Look at them go. Some of these stallions are quite the hunks, huh? That Gilda is going to regret ever insulting our town.”

“You’re really into this, aren’t you?” muttered Derpy, lowering her head to avoid any attention.

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t interested at first. But then I started learning more about it and I wish we played it gym class back in school. That and…. Growl...” said Carrot Top, eyeing one stallion who was doing pushups, his sweat dripping down his muscular physique. “Say, Derpy, did you ever play dodge—”

“NO!” shouted Derpy, catching a few strangers by surprise. Blushing, she hid beneath her wings. “I mean… no… I never played.”

Carrot Top opened her mouth, but Derpy walked ahead of her before she had a chance to press the issue. Getting the message, Carrot Top remained quiet as they proceeded further through the groups, occasionally stopping to observe the training. They saw Rainbow Dash addressing her own group of participants, a tall object covered in a blue blanket next to her. Sitting down, they watch as Rainbow Dash flew back and forth, yelling at her group like that of a military drill instructor. “Okay, you guys. Listen up! The way to play dodgeball is simple. There are five things you must remember: dodge, dip, duck, dive and dodge!”

“What about throwing?” questioned a male pegasus.

“Throwing is useless unless you know how to dodge the throws coming at you. Speed and agility are key in this game. So first we need to train you guys to be able to dodge anything.” Rainbow Dash smiled and puffed out her chest. “And who better to guide you than the fastest around!”

Up front, somepony whispered to his friend. “More like the braggiest.” The two snickered, but soon shut up when Dash glared at them.

“Looks like we got two volunteers. Thunderlane! Caramel! Step forward!” shouted Dash. They glanced at each other nervously before obeying. Rainbow Dash turned back to the blanket-covered object with a smirk that made the two shiver. “Now we’re going to get your muscles really moving.” She removed the blanket, revealing a tennis ball-serving machine. “Dodge these tennis balls as fast as you can. Go!”

The machine began to spin to life as the two readied themselves. A second later they barraged by a flying herd of tennis balls. They ducked and jumped as fast as they could, keeping up an impressive pace for quite some time. Rainbow Dash nodded in approval, but then grinned evilly as she switched the machine to shoot faster.

It didn’t take long for the stallions to become overcome by the faster assault. Thunderlane tried to fly away, but one of the balls managed to hit him straight in the stomach knocking the wind out of him. Caramel tried to yell at Rainbow Dash, but he was cut off when a tennis ball entered his mouth, muffling him. The crowd shook their head sympathetically as the tennis balls soon began to pile up, covering the two past the head. The machine eventually ran out of ammo. All that was left was two bruised stallions, buried in green balls. Rainbow Dash barely held back a snicker as she turned back to the nervous crowd. “Anypony else want to say something?”

They all shook their heads in unison.

“Kind of harsh,” muttered Carrot Top, who looked at the two stallions with pity. They managed to get out of their makeshift graves with a few bruises covering them.

“Kind of pointless. After all, throws in the game can be curved or twirled if based on how you grip the ball and release it. Not just in straight lines.” Derpy rolled her eyes. “Plus, throws are at different speeds. Keep training at throws at the same speed and you’ll miss the ones that are too slow or even faster.”

Realizing what she just said she looked around to see a few bystanders staring at her in surprise, including Carrot Top. “Wow, Derpy. I didn’t know you were so into this.”

Rubbing the back of her head, Derpy replied, “Oh, I just read that… in a book… a while ago…”

“Must have taken you years with those eyes,” muttered somepony in the crowd. A few other chuckled as Derpy lowered her head, her ears drooping lower then before.

Carrot Top glared at them before taking her friend by the hoof and dragged her away. “Come on, Derpy. We don’t need to stand with this sort of crowd.”

“It’s okay, Carrot. Maybe I should just go home?” mumbled Derpy, hoping this could be her chance to walk away before anything else happened.

“No, Derpy.” Carrot Top stopped and faced her, giving her a stern yet caring look. Derpy couldn’t help but wonder if Carrot Top was a teacher in her past life. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that and you can’t let others walk over you. You have to stand up to yourself and show ponies the real you. Not some bumbling mare who has an sight problem, but a kind and gentle pegasus who has a heart of gold.”

A tear trickled down Derpy’s cheek as she hugged her best friend. She was truly blessed to have found somepony who understood her for who she was and not what she was. “Thank, Carrot Top. You’re the best.”

“It’s no big deal,” said Carrot Top, nuzzling Derpy’s cheek. “Let’s look at one more group and then we can leave. Okay?”
Derpy nodded and they continued to walk across the field. They soon came to one of the largest crowds where they had to squeeze through to get a good look up front. Addressing the group of tryouts was Twilight Sparkle with somepony else by her side, a red-pelted earth pony with a black mane covered in white streaks. Derpy couldn’t help but find him familiar, his name on the top of her tongue.

“Listen up, everypony,” commanded Twilight, stepping forward. “Red Star here is going to teach you all how to throw accurately, so pay attention.”

Derpy’s eyes widen when she heard his name. Red Star?! The Red Star of the Coltcago Vendetta?! She looked to his flank and instantly felt her heart sink when she saw three dodgeballs with stars on the center of each one. She recognized that cutie mark anywhere.

If he sees me… thought Derpy as she tried to hide herself with the crowd of observers. Carrot Top, however, was captivated by the professional player and pushed herself forward even more for a better look.

Clearing his throat, his charming and smooth voice won over the crowd instantly, especially the mares. “Now, the trick to throwing isn’t just how fast or how powerful you throw. It’s also the technique you use to apply that power and speed.” Twilight levitated a ball towards Red Star, which he caught and balanced with his left hoof. The crowd was silent as he demonstrated the right positions in order. “First, keep your eye on the target. Never lose focus on where you’re aiming. Second, lean back with one of your front legs and step forward into your throw. Release your grip on the ball when your leg reaches out as far as it can.”

After showing them the steps, Red Star turned his attention to a series of archery targets nearby. He leaned back and threw his dodgeball, smacking it right on the bulls eye, leaving a small dent. The crowd cheered as he bowed. Derpy, however, only huffed. Please, that’s only half his real strength...

The other ponies picked up their own balls and began throwing. Most of them missed or hit the rim of the target, but nopony had been able to hit the bull’s-eye. It was a fairly uneventful scene in Derpy’s eye until she heard some pony shout, “YEAH!”

She recognized the voice instantly and turned her head to see Ponyville’s most muscled pegasus, Snowflake, take a dozen balls in his massive hooves. Like a machine, he flew down the row of targets as everypony jumped out of the way. He threw his dodgeballs as fast and hard as he could, nailing each bull’s-eye perfectly. The massive power behind each of the throws ended up shattering each target, causing debris to fly everywhere. When he was finished, very few targets were standing, and Snowflake raised his forelegs, flexing his muscles to the crowd. “YEAH!”

Everypony’s, except Derpy, jaw dropped. Red Star managed to close his mouth and gave the big pegasus a pat on the shoulder. “I guess I take back what I said. Sometimes strength really does make the throw.”

“YEAH!” cried Snowflake. He picked up another ball and threw it at one of the remaining targets. This time, the ball bounced off and headed straight for the crowd. Everypony gasped and jumped out of the way while some simply ducked as lowas they could go to avoid the speeding ball. Derpy stepped back and gasped when she saw the ball heading straight towards her. However, her fear soon disappeared as her eyes straitened. She analyzed the speed and distance the ball that was heading for her. Her body moved on its own as she lifted her front hooves and caught the ball.

Everypony gasped as Derpy jumped backwards, flipped into the air, and landed on her hooves in a perfect somersault. A stunned Red Star stood still for a moment before rushing over, his face filled with awe. “That was amazing! How did you learn to do that?”

Derpy gasped and looked up. In an instant, Red Star’s face turned from surprise to absolute horror upon seeing one another. He pointed at her and stuttered, “Y–you’re… you’re…” He fell on his flank and scooted back, his hooves digging into the dirt and ripping up the grass as he retreated. His entire body was sweating as he looked at Derpy as if she were Nightmare Moon. Everypony watched the entire scene in confusion. Derpy held her breath as all eyes focused on her and Red Star.

Please don’t say the name! Don’t say the name! begged Derpy.

Twilight slowly walked towards the trainer, her eyebrows raised. “Red Star? What’s wr—”
She was cut off when Red Star started screaming. Twilight jumped back in shock as the once charismatic professional screamed again and again like a scary cat. Other groups from across the field stopped their activities and focused on the terrified Red Star. He pointed at Derpy and shouted, “TH-THE CROSS-EYED DEMON!”

A series of gasps was heard from all the trainers, professionals, some of the reporters, and even a few bystanders, who all turned their heads towards a blushing Derpy Hooves. Red Star slowly got up, and started stepping back. “Please don’t hurt me with that dodgeball! Mercy! Please!”

“I…” Derpy started, but that was enough to make Red Star sprint into the distance. In turn, all the others who gasped upon hearing her nickname followed suit. They ran, flew, or teleported away, all to get away from the “Cross-Eyed Demon” that had returned. Some of them fainted or curled up in the fetal position crying and sucking their hooves.

The remaining ponies were confused and fascinated by what had just transpired. All eyes were either on Derpy or the fleeing stallions and mares. Derpy couldn’t take any more and flew as fast as she could in a random direction before anypony could ask questions.

“Twilight!” shouted Rainbow Dash, landing next to her equally confused friend. “Why did all the trainers just get up and leave?! They looked like Chrysalis had come back with an army of changelings. What just happened?”

Twilight turned to her and replied, “I… I don’t know.” She turned her gaze toward a retreating Derpy Hooves and narrowed her eyes, “But I want to find out.”

***

The incident at the farm managed to make its way across Ponyville in a matter of hours. Questions were tossed around with few answers, but the most popular one was, why did the professionals flee from the sight of Ponyville’s clumsy mailmare? From the way witnesses described it, the professionals treated Derpy as if she were an abomination from Tartarus ready to feast on their souls.

Many ponies didn’t believe it at first. The idea of Derpy being a “demon” was simply ludicrous. This was the mare that, while clumsy, was one of the nicest ponies around. She rarely ever got angry, and they never once saw her in a fight.

“It still doesn’t explain why they all left screaming,” said Twilight, as she finished explaining what happened to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. With the trainers gone, practice ended early and the three of them headed back into town. Shaking her head, Twilight continued, “I managed to find some of them, but they all said they didn’t want to talk about and told me to stay away from the ‘demon’ as they put it.”

“I admit that’s weird, but come on? Derpy Hooves being called a ‘demon’? I'd sooner believe Fluttershy was evil than her,” snickered Rainbow Dash. She struggled to hold her laughter while her friends glared at her. “Oh, come on! It’s funny.”

“Rainbow Dash, one of them crawled all the way up one of mah trees, and it took a few bucks to knock him down. If that ain’t fear, Ah don’t know what is,” pointed out Applejack, jabbing her hoof into Dash’s chest.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, but stayed silent as they entered Sugarcube Corner. Rarity and Pinkie Pie were waiting for them inside. Pinkie Pie zipped over to them and greeted her them cheerfully. “Hey, girls! Guess what?! I was just about to tell you girls about how much fun me and the bakers have been having here in the kitchen. Well, it was all fun at first, but then I got a little too excited and put extra yeast in one of the cakes along with some sarsaparilla for a bubbling taste that felt like my mouth had fireworks going off inside. But that caused it to grow too much causing it to go BOOM!” shouted Pinkie Pie, throwing her hooves up in the air. “So then I tried to clean up the mess, but the rest of the bakers told me to wait out here until they needed me, and it’s been six hours so they really must be getting along fine without me. But enough about me, how was practice?”

The three of them blinked and it took awhile for them to comprehend what Pinkie was saying. Twilight nervously smiled and said, “It went… well, Pinkie. It went well.”

“Honestly, Pinkie, let the girls get inside first. It wouldn’t hurt to be a bit polite sometimes,” chided Rarity. Pinkie blushed and let the girls sit down. She quickly made each of them a chocolate milkshake, for which the tired girls were thankful.

“So how was practice? Any good ponies for the team against the griffins?” asked Rarity.

Twilight nodded and pulled a notepad out of her saddlebag. “I’ve managed to gather enough data to judge each pony by their throwing power, speed, dodging, stamina, and flying or magical abilities, depending on what type of pony they are. According to what I know, we’ll need a good, strong, diverse team of ponies to keep everything well-rounded.”

“Well, we know me and Applejack are part of the team,” said Rainbow Dash, slapping hooves with her rival. “As for potential recruits, I’ve tried testing out a few ponies with the tennis-serving machine. Some of them are good, but others need a bit work. I’ll be able to whip them into shape in no time though.”

“Mah big brother’s got the stamina and the power. He’s a walking batterin’ ram, so he can be good for power. Might not be super speedy, but we can fix that by having him catch the balls,” said Applejack.

“If he works with Snowflake, the two of them will be front shields.” Twilight wrote the date into her notebook and smiled. “So that makes four. We need to make five more choices for a fully suited team.”

Rarity gasped and eagerly raised her hoof for their attention. “Speaking of suited, I’ve managed to finally finish the uniforms for the team. Fluttershy’s putting on one right now in the bathroom. She should be almost…”

The bathroom door creaked open. Fluttershy poked her head out and noticed her friends. “Oh, hello girls. Should I still come out? Maybe I should just wait here? Um, either way works for me,” whispered Fluttershy, as she slowly retreated back into the bathroom.

“Come on, Fluttershy,” encouraged Rainbow Dash, at the edge of her seat. “I wanna see the awesome uniform I’ll have when we take that jerk Gilda and her lackeys down.”

“Um… okay.”

Fluttershy crept past the door and walked over towards the girls. The uniform consisted of a bright blue design with Equestria’s flag in the center. Celestia and her sun were glittering with gold, while Luna and her moon were shining in silver. On the bottom stood the name of their proud town in bright red, big enough for all to see. The shoulders had white wings that stretched to the back. On the back, they saw Rainbow Dash’s name followed by the number one.

“That’s awesome!” shouted Rainbow Dash, pumping her hoof into the air. “Plus, I’m number one! That makes it even better.”

“Rarity, you really outdid yourself,” complemented Twilight, eyeing the stunning glittering center. “Did you cast the glowing charm on this?”

“Indeed I did. It really brings out not only the color, but the pride of being a pony as well,” answered Rarity with her chin held high.

“Normally, Ah ain’t much into wearin’ fancy, glittering clothes, but Ah’ll be honest, Ah’mitchin’ to try out mah uniform,” said Applejack with a nod of approval.

“We should have Applejack and Rainbow Dash put on their uniforms and parade through the streets! Everypony will be so amazed to see them it would be just fantastic!” suggested Pinkie Pie.

The girls continued to talk about the uniforms until they heard the shop’s bell ring. Red Star and a few of the other trainers entered the room, carrying their own notepads. Stepping forward, Red Star cleared his throat. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“Not at all, come join us,” encouraged Twilight, waving her hoof. Red Star smiled and nodded before taking seat as Pinkie asked him if he wanted a milkshake.

“Yes, please. I’m parched,” said Red Star. His face was very pale and he twitched every second. The other trainers held similar looks. They all looked dead tired, most likely from the running they did a short while ago.

Pinkie Pie came back with Star’s milkshake, who took it and gulped it down no tomorrow. Pinkie inched a bit closer to this face, nearly causing him to spill his milkshake in surprise. “Wow, you guys look as pale as ghost. Are you trying to look like ghosts? Because Nightmare Night is months away. Do you need a new calendar?”

Red Star blushed. “N-no. We’re just… a little surprised is all. We didn’t expect to run into the Crossed-Eyed Demon. Still can’t believe it was her.”

“Yeah, about that…” Rainbow Dash eyed the professional dodgeball player with curiosity. “Why did you call Derpy that? And for that matter, why were you so afraid of her? She’s as harmless as a fly.”

“Hey, flies can be very harmful! Those nasty buggers are always trying to land on my cupcakes and nopony wants to eat a fly!” declared Pinkie Pie, shaking her head.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Uh, Pinkie? I think Dash was just being rheto—”

Pinkie Pie ignored her and rushed to the counter, grabbing a cupcake from one of shop’s displays. “Like one day I could eat take a cupcake and then…” She took a bite and smiled before suddenly pretending to choke. She flailed her arms and spun around before falling to her back, rear legs straight up in the air. Everypony just stared at the performance while Pinkie choked a few more times for good measure then closed her eyes. As her tongue lolled out, a lily appeared out of nowhere between her crossed hooves, which only made Twilight twitch and mutter about “impossibilities” and “physics”.

Red Star then made an effort to speak, but Applejack raised her hoof. “Don’t ask. It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.”
He nodded and asked, “Who’s Derpy?”

“Um, the one you called the Cross-Eyed Demon,” answered Rainbow Dash. She looked to her friends, excluding the dramatic Pinkie, with a raised eyebrow, but they shrugged.

“Wait, that’s what she’s calling herself now?” asked Red Star. He sighed and shook his head. “Well, here’s an update for you. Her real name is Ditzy Doo, and she’s from Las Pegasus.”

“What?!” shouted Pinkie, rising to her hooves in horror. “You mean to tell me I’ve been giving a pony birthday parties with her wrong name on the banners and cake?! Now I have to make up for it by giving her all those birthdays again!”

“I think there’s a bigger concern, Pinkie. If this is true, why did Derpy—I mean, Ditzy—change her name?” asked Twilight.

“Who knows, but I know it’s her,” said Red Star, shivering. “The way she caught that dodgeball? Those strange eyes of hers? I’ve seen those eyes so many times it haunts my dreams.”

“So who is she?” asked Rainbow Dash, impatiently.

The professional dodgeball players all looked at each other and shook their heads.

“She’s the Crossed-Eyed Demon.”

“The Gray Angel of Death.”

“The Bubble Ball Bomber.”

“The greatest dodgeball player in all of Equestria,” said Red Star. “Ditzy Doo.”

***

This was bad. Very bad. Worse than muffins being banned for life bad. Okay, maybe not that bad, but either way, things were not good for Derpy Hooves. After her exposure, she knew she had to get out of there before anypony started asking questions. It didn’t matter where; one direction was as good as any other. But the damage had already been done. Ponies would start asking questions, either to her or the professionals, and her secret would get out. Ditzy Doo’s secret would get out.

Derpy shook her head as she flew towards her house. No, I’m Derpy Hooves now. Not Ditzy Doo! She doesn’t exist anymore.

She cursed dodgeball, and she cursed the pony who thought dodgeball was a good idea for a charity event. Things had been going so well. She had a daughter, a good friend, a steady job, and a home that didn’t know about her past in Las Pegasus. Yes, she lost her husband to an accident long ago, but she had long since moved on. In just a few short hours her new life could be ruined.

Opening the door to her house, Derpy announced “I’m home,” and prayed Carrot Top wasn't home yet. She didn’t know how she was going to explain this to her best friend. To her relief, she only heard the familiar patter of tiny hooves running down the stairs. She smiled as Dinky jumped off the second-to-last step and shouted, “Welcome home, Mommy!”

Derpy picked up her daughter and nuzzled her. This is just what I need after such a long day. “How was your day, muffin?” asked Derpy, setting down her daughter.

Dinky jumped up and down. “It was so much fun. The Cutie Mark Crusaders asked if I wanted to make sports T-shirts with them, and I said yes. Then we started drawing and painting on Big Macintosh’s old clothes. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo started arguing about who was the better athlete, Applejack or Rainbow Dash, and they started throwing paint at each other. Soon me and Sweetie Belle joined in, and I got covered in green and red!” Dinky then raised her head proudly. “So when I got home I was really messy, so I took a bath all by myself and cleaned up the house!”

Clapping her hooves, Derpy smiled and said, “Good job, Dinky! You’re really growing up if you can start taking baths by yourself now!”

“Aw, but I love having baths with you, Mommy!” said Dinky. “You make bath time funny, the way you blow those bubbles into my face and pretend to be a pirate.”

“Relax, Dinky. You and I can still share baths sometimes if you want too.” Derpy messed with Dinky’s hair, making her daughter giggle.

Dinky’s eyes widened. She quickly rushed back upstairs, shouting, “Hold on! I made something for you today!” She soon returned with a T-shirt crudely colored in multiple splatters and lines, obvious handiwork from the paint fight earlier. Derpy held it up and saw her name on the back with a zero right underneath.

Dinky rubbed her hooves nervously as she glanced down at the floor, blushing. “It’s not perfect, but I made an outfit for you, Mommy. I know you’re not on the team, but I wanted you to have one anyway. Do you like it?”

Although she felt some dread upon seeing her name once again on a uniform, her daughter’s smiling face won over whatever dark feelings she had were brought out by the shirt. With a smile, Derpy answered, “I love it.”

Dinky shouted for joy and clapped her hooves. “Thanks, Mommy. You know, maybe you should play for Ponyville! I bet you could kick griffin butt!”

Derpy’s smile waned. Sighing, she put her hoof on her daughter’s shoulder. “Dinky, do you want to know a secret?” Her daughter nodded. “Promise not to tell anypony?” Another nod, this time it was faster. “I used to play dodgeball a long time ago, and I was really good at it.”

The surprised look on her daughter's face almost made Derpy laugh. She looked like a fish out of water. “Did you win any trophies?” asked Dinky, looking at her mother as if she was some superhero.

“A few…” admitted Derpy. More like a hundred and seventy-four.

“Then why aren’t you playing with the rest of Ponyville?” asked Dinky, tilting her head.

“Well… Mommy doesn’t play anymore,” answered Derpy with a sad smile. “She just wants to relax and take care of her daughter. Besides, the rest of them can do without me.”

Dinky shrugged. “If you say so.” She made her way upstairs, but at the top step she looked back and said, “I wish I could have seen you play. You must have been amazing.”

When her daughter left her sight, Derpy frowned and shook her head. “No, Dinky, I was a monster…”

Comments

[ianmoone]

You watched that episode of Recess before you wrote this didn't you?

Not that I'm complaining, this fic is freaking awesome!!!

[Seether00]

So what, she killed somepony or something? I want to know what happened.

[DreadedCandiru2]

I remember that episode of Recess too. That being said, is RD Vince, Mikey or Spinelli?

[Tempname10732]

Damn cliff-hangers. Awesome chapter though, eagerly awaiting more@

[Csquared08]

Holy sweet mother of Celestia! This is awesome and I want MORE!

[Rated Ponystar]

1210172

I decided to just forget the rewrite

[ianmoone]

This one desires a significant increase in the amount of words which when placed in a certain order form sentences which form paragraphs which form stories..........or in english I wasnt more!!!

Please.

[Luminous Lead]

"Buggers". Wow, that's interesting language for Pinkie to use.

[RaptorJesus]

...And now I'm imagining Derpy as the fat nerdy guy in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

"Gordon! You gotta get ANGRY!"
"WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!" *defeats a whole team of jocks by himself*

I am SO following that story!

[Inferno demon Dash]

Oh Gods, I lost it when they called Derpy the Cross eyed demon, everything just got my 100% attention then, even more so because of how they say how awful she is, damn this is going to be beast!!! Wow, Snowflake is as badass and damn, poor Carmel and Thunderlane, I seriously love how you put Dinky Doo in the CMC, that's always my headcanon for when I write them Ha, Pinkie is funny, you did very, very good on this

[DonutBeagle]

The Bubble Ball Bomber

[uis]

“The greatest dodgeball player in all of Equestria,” said Red Star. “Ditzy Doo.”

Oh-oh-oh, Ditzy Doo, all the world's in love with you.
It's like you fresh-baked muffin and the rest of us are you.