• Published 8th Jul 2015
  • 4,773 Views, 115 Comments

Straight Colts Don't Kiss - eLLen



Why would they? Colts like fillies, boys like girls. Maybe they're just curious.

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To Respect

“Girls, girls, girls…”

“Girls?”

“Girls.”

Button Mash raised an eyebrow but decided to just play along. He sat at his usual spot on the schoolyard bench for recess, watching all the other foals prance about. Beside him sat his sorta-friend, Rumble. They were never too close but never too far, only… acquaintances.

After stretching out his forelegs for a moment, he followed Rumble’s gaze toward a group of fillies at another table. Nudging his shoulder, Button said, “Looking to go crusading?”

Rumble straightened up as if jolted. “What? No!”

“Really? You seemed really caught up in your staring.”

“Was not.”

“Ha! You totally were!”

Rumble let out a hmph. “Whatever,” he said while he crossed his forelimbs. Button only smirked.

The two remained quiet for a minute, returning to their pony-watching. Despite the teasing, Rumble’s eyes locked right back onto the trio of fillies. Without much else to do, Button joined him.

So…” he started.

“What?” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“Which one you staring at?”

Rumble glared at him before bringing up his hoof and swatting Button’s shoulder. “I said I wasn’t!”

“Ow, you hit hard!” he said, rubbing his sore spot. Sending the pegasus another look, he asked, “Really? No staring at all?”

“…Fine.” He sighed. “I gueeeesssss one of them looks… pretty.”

“You sure have a way with words,” he shot back, trying and failing to hold back a few laughs.

“Oh, whatever!” he spat. “It’s not like you’re any better.”

Button’s grin drooped in an instant. His eyes darted around the schoolyard for a few seconds before turning back toward Rumble. “Uh… Huh? What do you mean by that?”

With a smirk, he said, “Everyone knows you have a crush on Sweetie Belle.”

“Crush on…?” He blinked. “I do not! I-I just think she looks nice.”

Rumble rolled his eyes. “That’s what a crush is.”

Now it was Button’s turn to hmph. He remained silent for a few moments, shifting back toward the trio of fillies. “You know… you didn’t answer my question.”

“Huh?”

He nodded. “Which one you staring at?”

“Oh.” The young pegasus pulled his eyes away before answering, “Uh, the orange-coated one’s kinda nice looking. Scootaloo.”

“Scootaloo?” Button cocked his head. “I don’t know about that.”

“Huh? Why? Don’t think she looks good?”

“Not that. But get this…” Gesturing for Rumble to lean in, he held his hoof by his mouth as he whispered. “I heard rumors that she’s not into colts.”

“…What?” he replied, face morphing into confusion.

“Uh-huh. Really. They say she always follows around that one racing mare. I think her name was Rainbow Crash. Some of the colts think she has a crush.”

“A crush on Crash?”

“Yeah. Like a fillyfooler.”

Rumble gasped, jerking his head back as if struck. “Did you just say that? Isn’t that a bad word?”

“Is… is it?” Button shrugged, biting his lip. For the second time, he found himself glancing around, hoping no one was listening in. “My mom uses it when she talks about girls like that.”

“Uh… I dunno.” He shook his head. “…Anyway. Back on topic. You really think she’s… into other fillies?”

“No idea.”

Rumble deadpanned. “Well that doesn’t help me at all.” With a groan, he propped up his chin onto his hoof. “Ugh, I hope not. I don’t get how that even happens.”

“Even happens?” he repeated as he cocked his head. “What do you mean by that?”

The pegasus glanced away in thought for a few seconds. “I… I don’t get how a filly can find another filly attractive. Same with colts and colts.”

Button nodded as he got the message, but it only made him more curious. “You’ve never found a colt attractive?”

“No, why would I…?” His own realization cut him off. Eyes wide, leaning back, and mouth hanging open, Rumble could only sputter a few moments. “E-ew, dude! You’ve had a crush on a colt?”

A sound akin to a mix of a squeak and a choke crawled out of his throat. “What?! No, no!” he backpedaled, waving his hooves out in front of him. “Never!”

“Then why’d you ask that? ‘Never found a colt attractive?’”

“I, uh…” Button gulped. He fumbled on his own words before taking in a deep breath then letting out a sigh. “I… I’ve never had a crush on a colt, but I… can… respect them?”

Rumble’s brow furrowed. “Respect them?”

“Um… Like, I respect them… for their looks? I can sorta admire them if they look good… but I don’t have a crush! …right?”

“…That’s pretty gay.”

“Oh, whatever,” he said, turning his back on Rumble. “I still don’t believe you’ve never done that.”

Button curled his lip a frown, born from both annoyance and indignation. Rumble hadn’t even bothered to answer yet. “It’s not gay…” he muttered. “What’s wrong with tha—”

“Um… Well…”

Glancing over his shoulder, Button’s brow furrowed at the sight of the pegasus. He sat there, biting his lip, and trying not to look like the awkward colt he was. “Say something?”

Rumble’s attention snapped to him as if just noticing that another foal was there. “Uh, yeah…”

“Uh-huh?” Button said, pushing him on.

He opened his mouth to speak, but just clamped up. Under his breath, he murmured something.

Button shook his head. “What was that?”

“I said…”

“Still can’t hear you.”

“I said I may...”

“Talk louder, will you—”

“I might have, alright?!” Rumble shouted before promptly throwing his hooves over his mouth, glancing left to right for anyone that might be listening.

Button unconsciously drew back in the face of the outburst, but he regained his senses in a moment. “Uh, what?”

“I’ve… ‘respected’ other colts before,” he said. As he spoke, he turned his head down and his voice withdrawn. “But that’s only it, really. I’ve never had a crush on another colt. Sure, there were some that I knew were handsome, but…” His eyes widened. “Oh Celestia, did I just call another colt handsome?”

“Yup.”

He groaned. “I-I don’t mean it like that.”

Button pursed his lips as he thought for a few moments. “You know… There’s nothing wrong with thinking like that. I’ve heard some stallions call it, what? ‘Just curious’? I think they were talking about girls, but… Rumble?”

He responded with yet another groan. “But I’m not curious. I don’t wanna be curious.”

Scooting closer to give his acquaintance a nudge, Button said, “You aren’t? Or do you just not wanna be?”

“I… I dunno.” He looked up again, peering into Button’s eyes, watching for he-didn’t-know-what. “A-are you?”

Surprise flashed across the earth pony’s face. “Me?”

“Yeah, you. Are you curious? At all?”

“Um, I… kinda maybe?”

Rumble didn’t say a word, his only reply being to keep up his stare. For one moment, he glanced around the schoolyard, watching the other foals, but returned to Button just as quick.

“Um, Rumble?” he started. “What are you—mph!”

Button nearly jumped out of his skin as the pegasus pushed his head against his own, bringing their lips together in sudden embrace. The earth pony let out a high squeak, only to be cut off as he felt his own tongue connect with another. The only thing that stood out to him more than the kissing was the rosy blush burning on his cheeks.

Then, as quick as it started, it ended.

Rumble pulled away with a sharp gasp for air. Now separated, Button could make out the similar red hue on the pegasus’ own cheeks. The two remained wordless for a few seconds, neither making eye-contact, until Button cleared his throat.

“Uh… huh?” was all he managed out.

Rumble sighed. “Just… just curious.”

“…Huh?”

With a mix of guilt and… something in his eyes, Rumble opened his mouth to speak. “I—”

The sound of the school bell rang through the air, signaling for the students to return to class. As the swarm of students gradually picked up their pace on the way back inside, the two colts remained on their bench, unmoved.

After the last student passed them by, Rumble turned back to Button. “I guess we should get back to class.”

He nodded after a long second. “…Right.” The two slid off the bench, about to catch up to the rest of the class, but Button held onto Rumble’s shoulder to hold him back. “Wait.”

“Huh? What is it? We’re gonna be late.”

“Funny thing about… what just happened. That was my first kiss.”

Rumble blinked. “O-okay… Congrats?”

The earth pony almost smirked, but he held his seriousness. “You-you’re not, you know, a bad kisser.”

“Oh, uh. Thanks. I think.” Rumble bit his lip. “For your first time, you weren’t that bad.”

“Thanks.”

“Uh-huh.”

“…I guess we should get to class now.”

“Yeah. Let’s go?”

“Sure.”

The two set off for the schoolhouse, hurrying to avoid being late. As they reached the door, Rumble stood in front as he turned toward Button. “You know.”

“Know what?”

“Straight colts don’t kiss.”

Button cocked his head. “Yeah, I know. We’re straight, right?”

“Right…” he said, trailing off. “We’re just curious.”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a nod.

Rumble moved to open the door, but a final thought held him back. “Hey, Button?”

Button glanced back to him, locking eye-and-eye. “What is it?”

“Wanna hang out some time? I mean, more than we already do?”

“Huh? Sure. Now can you open the door so we aren’t late?”

“Sure thing, Button, sure thing.”

Comments ( 98 )

Cute and kind of sweet.

Not bad. Not your best work either, though.

I like it. It was short, sweet and straight to the point.:pinkiesmile:

D'aww! Great job. Really nailed the blooming uncertainty that can happen at that age.

Isseus #6 · Jul 9th, 2015 · · 1 ·

I really liked the storytelling, but I somehow felt them to feel a bit too old. Like maybe teenagers instead of the elementary school kids they're supposed to be. Maybe it was the vocabulary used or something. Other than that, didn't you say you only went for mare x mare? :scootangel:

6183208 I write whatever. :pinkiesmile:

And interesting take on this subject.

Oh man, that is adorable. I always see the CMC finding their crushes but never these two, fantastic work. :pinkiehappy:

6183499 Seeing that profile pic say something's adorable is decidedly creepy. :rainbowderp:
Thanks for reading!

Why is this story featured in Uncommon Shipping Pairs? Button and Rumble having a crush on the same fillies as usual, then they are paired with each other (RumbleMash is the only known non-straight ship for Rumble and Button).

I thumbed down only because you featured it in the wrong group.

6183538 Because this is literally the only Rumble/Button story I've seen on this site? There's probably others, but I've never run into any.
I just looked at the group's front page. It says this:

Ships that are not allowed:
Celestia X Twilight Sparkle
Celestia X Discord
Luna X Twilight Sparkle
Rainbow Dash X Pinkie Pie
Rainbow Dash X Applejack
Rainbow Dash X Fluttershy
Rainbow Dash X Twilight Sparkle
Rainbow Dash X Spitfire
Rainbow Dash X Soarin
Rainbow Dash X Gilda
Rarity X Applejack
Rarity X Fluttershy
Fluttershy X Big Macintosh
Lyra X Bon-Bon
Spike X Rarity
Spike X Twilight Sparkle
Pony X OC
Pony X Human
Twilight Sparkle X Trixie
Vinyl Scratch X Octavia
SoarinXSpitfire

This ship is fine.

6183553 I invented a new uncommon ship: Rumble x Button's mom. :rainbowlaugh:

6183553 I noticed you out of all the Rainbowdash X pairing you didn't put down Rainbowdash x Rarity.:trixieshiftright:

Faggot! I'm just kidding, but i don't read about homos but maybe lesbians...
EDIT: You know what... i was just fucking around, STOP-REPLYING-TO-THIS!!!!!!!!!!
EDIT #2: Ohh yea and this is also what i thought when i saw this:

Tw'as cute. I do have to agree with 6183208. They did seem a tad too old for simply being kids on the playground. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it.

I actually like MxM fics like this. Unfortunately most MxM just ends up being poorly written, clop, or a one-shot. This sadly falls under one of those three. Though you have enough multi-chapter fics already you probably aren't planning to make another right now are you?

I kissed a guy before. And I was straight at the time, now I'm bi..........Hmmmm

6183608 Someone else wrote the list, so they must have left it off for some reason. Raridash actually isn't that common. :pinkiegasp:

6183593 Please, Button's mom gets shipped with everyone. :rainbowlaugh:

6183609 Lesbians are homos by the way.

6183938 This is set up to easily be a chapter fic, but I do have a lot of those at the moment. If this were to eventually be continued, I would first need to think of what would actually happen. :applejackconfused:

6183538

You thumbed the story down because you don't like the group it's in? People doing that should have their downvote privileges revoked. Vote based on the quality of the story and the appeal of the writing to you, nothing else. :|

6183538
Wow. That's seriously a dick move.

6183994 ah yeah out of all the RD pairings Rarity has the least in common

FINALLY I FOUND A RUMBLEMASH STORY IN THIS SITE LOL.....
it was a good short-story....it was really cute....this is one of my favorite coltxcolt ship in the fandom.
ME WANT MORE!!!!!! :flutterrage:
but seriously dude good job :pinkiehappy:

6184365
There are a small number of others, but they tend to be NSFW.

This was a good one, nice work on it 8D
Got a few laughes outta me, and you get a thumbs up and a fav! :D

Keep it up!

6183346 So much yes 8D

I read this while waking up.
Not a bad way to start the day.

Cute little bisexual babies!
Oh! So cute! :yay:

I liked the "high on facial emotions style" of yours, but besides that it's what I would call a pointless little story. It's fun though, thumbs up for it. I am looking forward to see this kind of writing in a bigger package, romantic or not.

How about some Rumble x Lickety Split? By Chuck Finley

eLLen's Guide to Finding Your Sexuality For Colts Who May Be Curious

6184992 Thanks. :twilightsmile: Sometimes I worry I go a bit overboard with describing their faces. The way I write is by picturing it exactly how I want it then trying to put that in text form, so faces tend to get emphasized. :pinkiesmile:

This was... cute. Interesting, I've never seen this kind of story before.

6183609 OP? Where?

That was, really cute..

Faved :rainbowkiss:

Mad

I would post the "why not both" taco shell meme but I can't.

Not as gay as Twilight. (The awful Vampire trilogy, not our favorite pony)

What is up with all the downvotes on any of the comments about bisexuality? Like, people know that's a thing right.... Right?

Oh lawdy :applejackconfused:.

Anyways, bi or gay these colts are adorable together! Very cute story, very awkward but then again, that's the point XD.

Ah, that young experimental stage. This was very cute, although I do question the dialog in respect to age. And tongue at that young? Going for the throat at such an age, aren't we.

Still, liked it.

6187626

You're really bad at trolling.

6187721

I can tell you are serious by your abuse of grammar. You're so mad you can't even write straight anymore.

Comment posted by AdventurePone deleted Jul 10th, 2015

crack ships.....also this is in the top stories with out mature content on I dont approve srsly

6187626

You don't get to live in some enclosed world where you can put something out in a public forum and then not receive anything but positive responses that agree with your world views. That isn't how a society develops and that isn't a healthy environment for the development of ideas. If scientists trying to understand and explore the universe around us and the basis of our existence aren't free from criticisms, why should you be?

6187806

You know its the funniest thing. Before gay marriage was declared legal in the United States my father was in a loving and close marriage with my mom, following Christian values, and living happily together. After it was declared legal they were in a loving and close marriage, following Christian values, and living happily together.

Funny how who other people love and wish to marry doesn't effect you. I don't know what land you call home, but here in the United States, we are free to live our lives without theocratic dictation, and even atheism/agnosticism are viewed as valid religious views in this country. So just because its against your beliefs doesn't mean others have to abide by it.

But, I mean, if you want we could go back to traditional Christian marriage . . .

ugh....I now see why people like me are labeled gay (bronies) they take 1 look at our sites like these and see what kinda stories are praised ;_;

6188151 Well, here's the thing about that. It's not wrong to be queer or gay. I'm not saying you can't be offended at someone who is disrespecting your sexuality by calling something you aren't, but it's only as much as an insult you let it. As my fifth grade social studies teacher said, "Gay is okay!"

6188151

Also, why wouldn't this story appear in the charts with the mature content filter on? You do realize its not even rated Teen, yes?

Awwww, super cute. Love the interaction and uncertainty of the two characters :rainbowkiss:

And boys, that's a better than the way I got my first kiss with a friend. Drunk as skunks and tasting like Jack Daniels is not the best way. This way was much cuter.

ugh its to late/early for me i cant think of a logical comeback

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