Just a teenage girl with a love for writing.
Maria Mohar writes MLP fan fiction. Then, one fateful day, she finds herself in the world she had only dreamed of visiting. And now, she finds herself in love with her favorite character, Discord. As terrible as this summary might sound, it's a rollercoaster of emotion, and balances on the verge between Fiction and Reality. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. (Edit: This is partially inspired by Bride Of Discord by DisneyFanatic2364)
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Seems like a decent start so far. Here's a few spelling/grammatical errors I picked up on for you.
'choose' and 'career' respectively
missing an apostrophe in didn't <-- like so
Capital 'I' please
HAHA
this is hilarious. keep up the good work
I believe in the reinforcement of lessons, therefore;
Capital 'I' please.
Now we're getting into the fun stuff, let the shenanigans ensue.
This doesn't feel like a question in the context, to me at least. Consider it, perhaps?
More Capitals! The Pronouns have been doubled!
I've been waiting to see a human female X Discord fic! The closest I've seen so far has been a guy with Discord.
Needs moar content
I'LL SLAP YOU IF YOU DON'T UPDATE!
EXPLOSIONS ARE AWESOME!
It's going to be a long lesson. I can't wait for more.
Oh, i hoped you would leave the character as female human. There are actually no story at all where female human have romance with Discord, and i think that concept would probably be interesting for a lot of his female fans. I myself would be interested in seeing "a human in equestria" story where main character is not a horny 20 year old dude who have sex with all the ponies. Just for once xD
Oh dear. This could only end in trouble.
Oh god this is got me running to the bathroom!?
It might of made me laugh, but the second 'I' needs to be uppercased. Loving this so far though.
Time to conquer Equestria! With fire! Lots of fire! The kind that's only visual and slightly warm on ponies but burns everything else!
Seriously though, it's moving a bit fast, but I'm still going to read when you post the next chapter.
Hey Maria! Let's go wreck the Friendship is Magic timeline!
couldn't
remove this.
begun
Applejack
Only a few of the many problems seen so far.
I see that someone else has pointed out mistakes that you haven't corrected yet. You should really get on that. When people take the time to try and help you like this, it makes you look both lazy and inconsiderate not to fix what they point out.
P.S.
Yes, I'd say Maria is very conceited if this is a SI fic.
Curse you chapter 4 with your cliff hanger-y-ness!
oh well, love how the story's coming along!
wait did it say 30 moons until the mirror opens again? And that's 3 years! Is that like the moon's crescent cycles? Does equestrian even have those!
keep up the good work!
Flop, you guys are being nit-pretty about the spelling when I was reading it I didn't once notice spelling or grammar errors.
An interesting concept with good writing. I know many have said this before but the female human is a breath of fresh air. This is the only fix I've found that had a main character that's female and it could bring some interesting concepts. I'll follow this story and see how it goes, I'm interested in how your Discord will be, considering how much you seem to enjoy him I can only hope you can do his character justice. Not many writers can.
Only real critique I have is the pacing. It seems a bit rushed, but I hope as the plot develops and you get more comfortable with the story, that it improves. Good luck, looking froward to the next chapter!
Awesome story plz keep them coming
Also notice you have 6,66 words total
Blackmailing a statue XD
Nice chappie
5733569 (I'm so late in replying lol) I did notice a lack of female OC's being paired with Discord, thus one of the reasons I had written this. I totally agree on the weirdness of the horny 20 year old males being paired with Discord XD But no worries, for Maria will stay a female, and there shall be no odd pairings like that in this story
5760040 I know the pacing is a bit faster than I realized, and I apologize for that. But I am glad that you're enjoying the concept and my story. I hope I continue to please, and, although the pacing is a bit rushed, I hope you enjoy what I have in store
....not meny words...BUUUUUUUUUUUUUTT (see what i did there) you got talent
they are right THIS IS going to be fun
also
5825771
...imagine that in real life
*no cotton candy clouds was harmed in the making of this story*
Have to say I really like Maria so far. I do hope you are having fun while writing this. What discords next, when he`s free is going to be a real treat.
P.S. If you ever want a co-editor on this I would be flattered to help. I`m not best at spelling, but I can catch small errors and grammatical flow disruption in wording. < That run on sentence not included.
5857553 Thank you for the offer! I'll surely keep it in mind
I'm glad you're enjoying this, and I do enjoy writing this in fact! I hope you look forward to finally having Discord in the story, because it's going to be great!
Random haiku:
The insane abound
Chaos in a straight jacket
Chocolate rain deer
Keep updating☺
This is an amazing story I would ask to do a collaboration but I have my own story to write...something deep
This is a very good story right now!
Oh, more bullies, crap! I'll have to put them in the Book of Eibon again. Dammit, there's too much paperwork to fill out after they're trapped in there, especially Lust and Gluttony! Do you know how much of a pain it is to clean up withered husks? At least in Gluttony, they get eaten!
Hmm, flight isn't all that specialized. Insects and bats can do it too. Nor is it quite comporable to what the pegasi can do.
If you wanted to pick an allegorical similarity between cloud-walking pegasi and a real animal, I'd go with the water-strider or fishing spider, since they can actually walk along the surface of water via their adapted feet not breaking surface tension.
And here 'I' thought you were doing so well, I think this cropped up more times in this chapter than the first three when I first read them.
Oh, found one of your capital 'I's, tucked right in where it shouldn't be.
Well, that aside, good chapter.
Have a smile
*Alondro snerks and appears! Cuz he has da power to break the 5TH WALL!!
* My dear, you've already interfered with the story line SIMPLY BY EXISTING in their world! As you've clearly forgotten in your excitement and mad little obsession with the currently callous king of chaos, YOU weren't in "Return of Harmony", or any episodes preceding or thereafter. The world is already irreparably broken... by you. The ruptures you've caused are already fracturing the very foundations of the fundamental plane of their existence! I expect the entire thing will go crumbling to the ground soon enough.
5863017
Thats what would pinkie would say or DO
XD
I love this its absolutely beautiful! Pleeeeaaaaasssseee continue it!
Oh boy. Now it gets real. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Well... discord I presume?
I am enjoying this so far.
still wonder why My life as a Teenage Elder god is always in the suggestions.
I really hope your enjoying writing this because I'm defiantly having a time reading.
Wait she allergic to hay XD. WELL discord is in town XD
Laughing inside so hard, almost smiled.
Still a dick.
Ah... yes... the pieces begin to fall in to place.
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_12_2012/post-8319-0-29794000-1355080660.jpg
6038856 indeed
So much cheese, I'll go get the fondue! Its party time!
Verdict to far? Not bad. Seems a bit strange everyone seems to know about the history with Discord but meh, its an AU so we can let it be. Overall? Enjoying it.
I would like to see whats happening back on earth. Would love to see those A-holes reacting to her disappearing into a statue.
Everything past "I mean, I know why" is italicized I think its an error with importing from google docs.