CH-10: Lesson Number One...Billion
"And that's the reason nothing rhymes with the word orange...Are you even listening?!"
I woke with a jerk, not realizing I had dozed off while Discord had told me the entire history of chaos and draconequuses -- draconequui? Forget it, you know what I mean! "Sorry, Discord," I stretched, trying to maneuver around in the desk I was forced to sit at. "but was it really necessary to tell me all of the history? I'm pretty sure a few tips on how to do things would've worked,"
Discord huffed, changing out of the teacher outfit and making the ruler and chalkboard disappear. The desk I was sitting at vanished as well, making me fall to the ground. "Ow! What the hay was that for?" I growled.
His mouth curled into a wicked smile. "That was for not listening to me," he said. "Now, since you didn't bother to listen to my lesson, would you mind enlightening me on what you want to learn?"
"Wouldn't that have been simpler to have just asked me that at the beginning?" I asked, standing to my feet.
He placed a claw on his chin, eyes glancing towards the sky in a thinking position. "Perhaps, but the thought never occurred to me," his tone reassured me that he did think about it, but his lack of making sense made him do things differently. He stared at me again. "What do you want to learn?" he asked again, appearing beside me in a flash.
"Well, that for instance," I said.
"What, teleporting?" he scoffed. "Easy, just picture the area you want to go to, and poof! you're there,"
"Well, if it was that easy..." I grumbled.
"Isn't that what I just said?" he asked."How about you try it out?"
"Where should I go?" I asked. He disappeared and reappeared on top of the hedge, sitting casually with a pink teacup, top hat, and monocle.
"Try up here for starters, m'dear," he said with a fake British accent, taking a sip from the cup. I nodded, closing my eyes and imagining myself sitting next to him. My skin began to heat up, then cooled within a few seconds. I opened my eyes to see Discord staring at me curiously.
"What?" I asked, crossing my arms. "I did it, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did it," he mused. "However, you don't appear to have done it right,"
"What do you mean?" I asked. His eyes lowered, andI followed their gaze.
I was sitting in mid air.
"Oh, horse apples," I cursed, my gravity-defying stunt faltering for a bit. I landed on the dirt with a grunt. I heard Discord busting a gut overhead. He appeared above me, helping me to my feet. While I held my head, he summoned a dust brush and dusted me off a bit.
"Well, at least you tried," he said cheerfully. "You know what they say, if a draconequus falls out of the sky, a black cat will try to rule the world,"
"A black cat will do what?!" I asked. "Who in the world has ever said that?"
"I just said it, weren't you listening? Perhaps you need your ears cleaned out," Discord vanished and appeared in a doctor get-up, checking inside my ear. "Well, there's the problem!"
I felt a something enter my ear, along with a very big something exiting it. "Here we go: you had a drum inside your ear!"
"Um, that would be my ear drum," i said, turning to face him. I gasped. Discord had a drum set in front of him. "H-how did you...never mind," I held my ears as he began to beat the drums with absolutely no sense of rhythm.
"Hmm," he said. "It seems these drums aren't working,"
"Or you simply just can't play?" I suggested playfully. He snapped, making the drums disappear.
"I say, the drums don't work," he said, crossing his arms and looking away.
"Fine, whatever you say, Discord," I said, snorting in amusement. "You're such a card,"
I glanced at the Lord of Chaos, who was now on a card, dressed as the King of Spades. "I most certainly am not," he argued. I couldn't help it -- laughed at his randomness. I heard him chuckle himself as he changed back into his original form.
"You should laugh more often; it suits you," he grinned. "Now, are you ready to cause some disharmony?"
I grinned as well. "Yes. Yes I am."
"All the truth does, is make your heart ache," I said, changing my voice to trick Apple Jack. At the moment, Discord and I sat on a cotton candy cloud as we officially began to change the Mane 6 into their opposite personality.
"Sometimes, a lie is easier to take," Discord finished, hypnotizing the orange pony. Her usual green orbs began to swirl with different colors, all the while, her bright colors dulled into a grayish kind of color.
Apple Jack blinked, making the colors disappear, and the orchard Discord made appear vanish. A hedge lowered into the ground, revealing Twilight, who was searching for her friends. When she spotted the country pony, she sighed in relief. "Apple Jack, thank goodness! I thought I heard voices, were you talking to some pony?" she asked.
"I was talking to..." some hesitation in her answer showed that Apple Jack was trying to fight the lie that got caught on her tongue. However, it slipped, despite her efforts. "No pony! No pony at all!" her pupils went small and her muzzle scrunched up. She looked around nervously.
"Well, we best be pushin' off," she said, brushing past the confused purple pony.
"Did Apple Jack just...nah!" she said. With a smile, she followed Apple Jack. When she was out of ear shot, we burst into laughter.
"Now onto Pinkie Pie," Discord said. We teleported to the area where Pinkie Pie would be changed. It was a wide space, just enough to have a party.
With a simple snap, the area was filled with balloons of different colors; most of them having a cheerful, but creepy grin. The laughter that came from them was supposed to be fun and joyful, but to my ears, sounded like a laugh from a scary doll that was about to kill you. I took one in my hand, staring into it's black pupils. "These are just creeping me out," I said.
"You get used to them," he said. Then he chuckled. "She's on her way," With a snap and a flash of light, we were hidden in one of the hedges, of which had a little opening for us to peek through. Sure enough, the pink pony came bouncing into the little party. Her little mouth was open with awe, and she giggled.
Then, her smile disappeared when one of the balloons wrapped it's string around her back hoof, making her fall forward into a puddle of mud that suddenly appeared. The "cheerful" laughter turned dark and taunting. Pinkie Pie frowned.
"Hey, what gives?" she asked with a confused and hurt look. "Why are you all laughing?"
Discord vanished from beside me and appeared in the open. I guess I wasn't going to be seen then.
"What's wrong Pinkie Pie? I thought you loved a good laugh?" he asked with fake sincerity.
"This is different," she said. "They're laughing at me, not with me,"
"Oh, but you're friends laugh at you all the time!" Discord mentioned.
"No, they don't," she argued weakly.
"Are you sure?" He snapped a claw, making the balloons faces turn into those of her friends, each mocking her with their rude laughter. I felt a pang of sadness for the pink pony. Out of the others, she and Fluttershy were my favorites.
Pinkie shuddered and was close to tears. Discord's face appeared on a balloon, the only distinction between him and the others was a line where his tooth was. He floated to her. "Aww, Pinkie Pie," he said, pretending to feel sorry for her. "and here I thought, laughter made you happy," His eyes went swirly, as did Pinkie's. She stood, wiping the mud from her as her color dimmed as Apple Jack's did.
"Happy?" she growled, her tone grumpy and irritated. "I don't think so,"
The balloons all popped, and a hedge disappeared, showing Twilight and Apple Jack. "Pinkie! I'm so glad we found you!" she exclaimed.
"Why?! So you could have a good laugh?" Pinkie Pie spat. She glared at both ponies before stomping past them, her body closer to the ground in a kind of slunk.
"Apple Jack, did you notice something odd about Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked.
"Nope!" she lied, once more looking around nervously. "I didn't notice anything weird about Pinkie," with a hesitant look, she turned and followed the grumpy Pinkie. Twilight watched her, confused at both of their behavior.
"We need to find everyone else, before the stress of all this gets the best of us," she sighed, trotting after her friends.
Discord chuckled, appearing behind me. "Come, my dear!" he said joyfully. "We have much more to do!"
The next we appeared, it was above Rarity. She trotted daintily along the dirt path, her eyes glancing around her.
"I expected an audience with the princess," she muttered, "not some outdoor sport." The purple-maned pony came across a large rock wall, of which held several gems, arranged in the exact pattern of her cutie mark.
"Stay here, I'll handle this," Discord said. I laid face down on the cloud, tearing off a huge chunk of cotton candy and stuffing it into my mouth. So much for being his partner...
"Welcome to your lucky day, Rarity," I heard him say. "You've found the one thing in Equestria that could rival my face of sheer beauty," he made the gems shine brighter, almost blinding me and hypnotizing Rarity. "You like?" The diva pony sighed dreamily.
"Yes...I like very much..." she shook her head suddenly, turning away from the treasure. She attempted to pull herself from the enticing gemstones. "No! I must...get to...friends..." Suddenly, she raced over to the wall, screaming, "MINE!" as her color dimmed. She began to chip at the wall, not caring for the dirt and grime that covered her as she dug for the gems in the wall.
When the wall was broken down, a large bolder remained. She wiped her forehead with a dirty hoof, smiling with greedy pride. "Well, Rarity, it took forever, but who knew that three little gemstones would turn out to be this beauty!"" she ran her hoof over the rocky surface of the regular boulder. "Now, to get you home," she grunted and struggled as she tried to pick up her "treasure".
Another rock wall crumbled, showing three ponies. Twilight gleamed with happiness at the sight of Rarity. "Rarity! I'm so glad we found you-" she stopped as she processed the situation. "Why are you carrying that boulder?"
"It's not a boulder!" she defended, putting the huge rock down. "This is one amazing hunk of a diamond!!" she purred.
"You can't have it! It's mine!" she yelled greedily.
"Uh...ok?" Twilight said confused. Rarity hoisted the rock on her back once more, and struggled to walk. But she managed to do so. Every pony followed her, Twilight bringing up the rear. I watched them leave. Suddenly, Discord appeared behind me, laughing.
"This is so much fun!" he chuckled. "Aren't you having fun?"
"I would if I was actually doing something," I said, frowning a little.
"That's quite understandable, however, due to your plan, you simply can't be seen," he said, reminding me of what I had told him. "I'm doing as you asked and following your plan, aren't I?"
I sighed. "I suppose you are, it's just not what I expected it to be," I shook my head, trying to lighten up. There were only two ponies left to change, and then the real fun would begin. I just hoped that everything went well.
Discord was silent for a moment. I avoided eye contact. "It's fine, really. I came up with the plan, and I'm gonna stick to it," taking a deep breath, I faced an amused draconequus. "We should go if we're to finish the task at hand,"
His smirk grew, and he nodded wordlessly.
A meek yellow pegasus shivered in fear as she rounded a corner. Her teal eyes glanced around nervously, and her head turned at every noise.
I watched from a high up cloud with dull interest as three pink butterflies, similar to her cutie mark, flew in front of her, and she cowered instantly, jumping into the hedge. Realizing they were butterflies, she chased after them, pleading for them to stay with her. She then came to small opening, searching around for them. Suddenly, they came to her, and they engaged in a small conversation. Though I couldn't hear them, I played the sound with what I knew they'd say.
"Looks like your so-called 'friends' have left you behind," one of the butterflies said.
"Oh no," she smiled. "I'm sure they're doing their best to find me,"
"But it must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are," it said.
"Not at all," the pegasus said. "I am weak and helpless, and I appreciate their understanding,"
"Yes but," the butterfly's gentle voice turned irritated, but it was quickly recovered. "surely it burns you up inside that they're also pointing out your flaws, right?"
"Not really. I think I'm lucky to have such wonderful friends who want me to be the best I can be," she said with a bright smile. I giggled, knowing how irritated Discord must be. Fluttershy was too kind and sweet to let little things like that bother her. At least she admits her shyness.
"Oh for goodness sake's!" Discord growled, changing out of his disguise. Fluttershy's eyes widened, but she was frozen with fear. "YOu've been kind for far too long, my dear-it's time to be cruel!" He stomped over to the small pegasus and tapped her head rather roughly. Her eyes swirled and her color dimmed.
"Arrivederci!" he grouched, disappearing.
By this time, I was the one rolling with uncontrollable giggles. Discord appeared, a frustrated look on his face. He growled as he saw me laughing. "You knew that was gonna happen, didn't you?"
I sighed, wiping a stray tear away. "Certainly. You failed to ask, so I didn't tell you,"
He face palmed. "The point of this partnership is to assist me, not laugh at me,"
"Well, I haven't been assisting you lately," I said, pretending to think about it. "But, let's admit, you are hilarious!"
He muttered something to himself. "Let's just go. There's still one more to corrupt,"
Once again, I was sitting on a cloud in the sky above Discord's cloud hammock-thingy. While we waited for Dash to take the bait, I busied myself with practicing my magic. Sitting Indian-style, I concentrated, breathing slowly. My mind was focused on that one item, and I snapped.
A jar of chunky peanut butter and a spoon appeared. My stomach rumbled and I gladly took the items.
"Why are you eating peanut butter?" Discord asked me. I looked up to see that he was hovering in front of me. I realized in that moment that he had been watching me.
I shrugged twisting the cap off the jar and dug the spoon into it's contents, slipping the entire thing into my mouth. "I'm hungry," I said, munching on the peanuts. "If I can't participate, the least I can do is get a snack,"
He stared at me and the peanut butter curiously, then shook his head. "You are one strange person,"
"Hey, you don't have any room to speak," I said, swallowing the spoonful of peanut butter, "Mr. I'm Gonna Do Everything And Make My Partner Suffer,"
"It was your plan," he reminded me.
"If that's your story, then by all means, stick with it," I said, sticking another spoonful of chunky goodness into my mouth. "I know that you just don't want me messing things up,"
He looked surprised. "You? Mess things up? Preposterous!"
"There's no need to lie, I understand," I said, faking a sad tone. "After all, I'm just a minor bump in the road. Deep down inside, you don't want me here, and you're planning to get rid of me the first chance you get." I stared at my spoon, pretending to be ready to cry.
"Was it that obvious?" he said, making me look up in surprise. His tone was more serious than I thought.
"Wait...what?" I stuttered, my eyes widened, real tears beginning to form behind them. I felt a stone drop in my gut. If that was the real way he felt about me..."You want to get rid of me?"
He tapped his chin a few times, making me worry as he turned his back to me. I panicked. I knew Discord probably didn't want me as his partner, but was he really going to get rid of me? I was kidding!
I felt tears pricking at my eyes. How would you react when you find out your favorite character doesn't even like you? I turned away as a few tears fell. Suddenly, he burst into laughter.
"You thought I was serious!" he snickered. "I knew I was good, but I didn't know I was that good!"
I turned to face him, face burning with anger. "You...were...joking?!"
"Of course!" he said, a cheerful smile on his face. He stopped laughing and became concerned as he realized that his little joke had gone a bit too far. "Are you...crying?" he asked.
I hastily wiped my tears away, sniffing. I avoided his gaze as he landed on my cloud, approaching me. Gently, he lifted my face so that I would at him. He frowned deeper, his eyebrows furrowing. "It wasn't funny," I muttered.
"I see that now," he said. "I didn't know you'd react like this,"
"Well, how'd you expect me to act?" I shot back. "You said you wanted to get rid of me, and that I was in the way of your plan. I didn't know you hated me that much,"
"What are you talking about, Maria?" he asked. "I don't hate you at all, nor do I want to get rid of you. In fact, having you as my partner was one of the best decisions I've made,"
"Technically, you didn't have a choice," I pointed out, remembering our midnight conversation a few days ago.
"Besides that point," he said, "I didn't mean any of that. I'm glad you're my partner," With that, he tilted my head down a bit, planting a quick kiss on my forehead. My face went bright red from the action, and before I could react, he disappeared, reappearing below me on the hammock. Just in time too, because Rainbow Dash appeared with the cloud that resembled her cutie mark.
From then on, I tuned everything out. My mind replayed that one moment over and over again. My cheeks burned, and the spot where he had kissed me did as well.
Oh Maria...what have you gotten yourself into?
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Ah... yes... the pieces begin to fall in to place.
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_12_2012/post-8319-0-29794000-1355080660.jpg
6038856 indeed
she's living her book
"Here we go: you had a drum inside your ear!"
2:00
I said, turning to face him
then came to a small
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/words/are-there-any-words-that-rhyme-with-orange