• Member Since 10th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 7th, 2018

A SketchPad


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With no place to hide it, Twilight Sparkle creates a portal to another world to dispose of the Alicorn Amulet. She throws it in without a second thought, causing a young teenager to come across it. He doesn't know what it is, but he sure knows what he's gained from it.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 23 )

Not sure how I feel about it. The premise is wonderful. Your writing style is detailed and flowing. Only one thing, it's in second person. In short there is no main character, It's a blank slate that can never be OOC. However, I doubt you want to hear me be annoyed about an interesting style being in second person. I will watch this, may your journey to the featured page be festive and rewarding.

An interesting premise, good grammar, great flow, and the second person doesn't matter at all.

Take my like and my Spike. :moustache:

I wish I had that amulet, you could only dream of how much cleaning I have had to do in my lifetime!:pinkiesick:

Darth Vulcan is not amused :trixieshiftleft:

This story has a lot of promise, and so many paths to go down. I wanna see where this goes...

... You have caught my eye dear Author!

But being a second person story is a new one for me, and all I can say is that this is a unique fanfiction if I had seen one. (There probably a whole group on second person stuff but what the hell am I right?)

In short; I would like MORE!

5654311
Good sir I believe you've stolen my comment. For this I will need to procure another comments from someone else
Ahem...
what he said! :pinkiehappy:

Unfortunate that this is written in second person, because I'm having trouble identifying with the main character's motivations.

Today was a fun day. You not only entered a new world, you joked and messed with the population of these ponies with just your presence

:facehoof:

Interesting.
I like the premise.

forget evil, this is to much fun :rainbowlaugh:

Looks really promesing, i shall Watch this fic!!

Man survival easy when your Use to a world were it kill or be killed. Nature mean.

Yeeeah, it's gonna take some time for him to master the AA.

Sweet mother of Celestia's BEARD! A new chapter?

Oh! This is such a wonderful day INDEED!

Not of a fan the second person narrative. But you got my attention so I'll give it a shot.

I would change the story so is in third person and you have a real protagonist, not the reader, all those "You" get irritating after a while.

*You hear snapping twigs and rustling leaves to your left. Looking, your eyes widen at the sight. An amalgamation of logs and bark that formed a wolf. Not just that, but at least three more behind the one closest to you. * He has the alicorn amulet, use a Manticore, not Timberwolves, please.

Can we expect an update on this story in the near or far future?

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