This thing is old, like "please go read anything else I've written" kind of old. But if you do give it a read, I hope you find something to like about it.
In order to spread chaos the likes Equestria has never seen, Discord summons a human into Equestria, but as they be careful what you wish for. As a new threat from the human's own mind arrives to give Ponies a taste of humanity, hilarity and radomness are abound as our Fandom collides with my little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Coverart made by Inurantchan on Devainart.
Chapters (37)
This is fairly good. But i'll tell you what killed this. You didn't have a cover image. Everyone does this. if there isn't a cover image, everypony will immediately assume it's bad. I'll do this. It doesnt matter if it's only just a screencap. But you need something to catch readers' attention.
O.K., this was funny.
Dare I say, "Hay-larious" even?
I do believe that I just did.
I guess that I should have seen that coming.
"Random Pies"... Whelp, there's no pie any more random than Pinkie.
A stupid grin was on my face as I restrained my laughter as I read this.
A female Human in Equestria Fanfiction? You (or at least I) don't see many of those. Keep up the good work.
I have to agree with sorren The Cover image while superfical Is Quite nessesary to catch the attention of people.
Looks great so far, but I really wish you wouldn't have them refer to the guy as a monkey. Seriously, I see this a lot in these fics, and it never makes any sense. Yes, people make that joke a lot considering how many of those people don't really get evolution, but it makes no sense at all for anything from Equestria to make that connection, because we look nothing like monkeys. Only an idiot would look at a picture of a human and a picture of a monkey and declare that they look exactly the same.
But other than that pet peeve of mine, it looks great.
Uh-oh! The power of the Internet has been invoked. She is using the fan art. May the sanity of those ponies unfortunate enough to witness some of these things rest in peace.
Still interesting.
Still pretty good, but I do have one complaint about something mentioned in the story...
"Noted for . . . surprisingly keeping the antagonist in character while performing unspeakable acts of torture on her fellow pony. . ."
Are you serious? Let me ask again. Are you serious?
Just, the line itself is contradicting. Keeps in character while "performing unspeakable acts of torture?" Do you honestly not understand how that contradicts itself? Do I really need to explain why Pinkie was not in character in that trashy gorn fic?
What's sad is that I know that part wasn't even important to the story at all. It was just something tossed in. But it was just so obviously wrong that I couldn't help but facepalm at seeing it. In fact, when Manaquire thinks about turning Pinkie into the Pinkie from Cupcakes, doesn't that go against what you've built him up as? You say he isn't evil and doesn't want to physically hurt them, but then he thinks about turning Pinkie into a psychotic killer? How is that not evil or physically harmful?
thanks everyone!
um about the cover image..if anyone can do one for free...then that'll be the only way this story gets a cover image..unless you want me to draw it by hand, but I can't draw ponies.....
most of the HiE fics are as follows
-brony ends up in equestria
-brony makes friends
-brony falls in love with one of the mane 6
MY HiE fic is as follows
-female brony ends up in equestria
-brony makes friends
-brony must now watch as a new evil she created attacks the ponies
oh and a bit of a spoiler, each line of the poem in the description relates to one segment of the story (so far I've only started story arc one out of three)
oh and about the monkey thing..I know alot about evolution I just threw that gag in there as a reference to other HiE fics. plus it kinda seemed like a pinkie Pie thing to do...
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Manaquire doesn't care if other ponies hurt each other, he messes with their heads and watches the results
lol Burger Time.....
This story is great.
How about Vesania for a name?
saphi maybe?
DA FUQ
Can not comprehend BOOOM head exploded
When I saw the title, I got a movie reference. I'm going to give you an offer you can't refuse. Man, I didn't see the movie but heard it a million times.
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really..there was no reference.....wow.
So...another chapter?
punknomad.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fuck-yes-meme-generator-fuck-yes-f64811.png
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is this considered a chapter
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Yes, I'm just unsure how to continue that part of the plot, depending on what the readers think I Might just update the dark bits as a seperate fic.
Oh God...
NOW I GOTTA GO FIX THE FOURTH WALL AGAIN!!!
SOMEONE IS GONNA GET HURT!!!
...
ALLONS-Y!
Doctor Who FOR. THE. WIN.
The title got me thinking or PORTAL.
There needs to be a Portal 3
Or a sequel to the Portal games.
Also:
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
._.
THIS TOO SHORT!!
FUS RO DAH!!!!!
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it's short for a reason, I prefer my musical numbers in seperate chaptrs..besides that parody is 90% original
i read this and the lion king came to mind
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scar from the lion king was and is my favourite villian of all time, followed by Discord and Doctor who's The Master.
To the TARDIS
Love it!
Awesome story!
I like it!
A few spelling and grammar errors here and there.
Please reread your story before you post it. It will help you find errors and such.
Just a helpful hint.
Anyway back to how amazing you are...
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I know about the errors and such, not only do i type fast, but there is a limited few hours of bright enough daylight where i can see the keyboard, as at around 300pm the light starts going and my mum uses the computer at night.
I'm fairly surprised at how popular my story is among the brony community, as it's not just a MLP story, it's a crossover with my own made up original universe that I've been developing since I was eight.
I just wish my readers would tell me what they like about my OC's...I love my original characters to pieces...so yeah...
756191
Could you maybe draw some of your characters?
That way not only would readers have a better idea of what they look like
but also give your story more depth.
I really like the idea of your character being turned into a draconeques of however the hell you spell it.
Anyway I would like to see some more of your OC's in this story.
So far so good!
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Oh there will be more OC's alright, I'll be putting up a blog post with some of my drawings of Manaquire on it soon.
759220
Okie dokie!
So RANDOM......I LOVE IT!
So much forth wall breakage,
I love this story, please finish the next chapter soon!
Also First!!!!!
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thanks, i love to hear reader support and stuff so I'll try to get the next one up soon, University is pretty busy atm.
FIRST!!
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well at least someone commented...
Anyway this is a special post for those that read the comments.
Since I have an essay to do and i need to work out a parody of 'with me' from Sonic and the Blank Knight for chapter 25, I have no freaking clue what I'm going to put for chapter 24....maybe a story trivia chapter or a character interview thing or something..is there anything you guys want any of the characters featured in this fic?
Seriously I have writers block and i think a semi interactive chapter would be fun..the idea alone brings me back to my truth or dare fanfic..ah I loved that thing..maybe I should do a MLP truth or dare fic?
1339685 Well You could have cat woman try to flirt with him and Amy Beat the crap out of her.... Keep in mind I Haven't read so...yeah
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.....wait do you know about my old truth or dare fic?
1345244 No but I read in your comment that you're looking for ideas so I thought of that, why?
true...but eh that is just WAY too random....thanks anyway.
Well.... there go the hopes of peaceful relations to any human who goes to Equestria.
It was at this point we just need to install a door in the fourth wall.
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we tried that but Pinkie broke it. thanks for commenting
1901531 Gosh darn it did ya forget to give here the key?
1901544
she broke the fourth wall so many times that the strain was too much for the door