• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen October 8th

KRissCHu573


E

Annomalies in time and space create undesired portals, trapping beings in different worlds. A coalition of such beings is forced to fight the evils from their worlds in order to save their friends and allies, while trying to return to their homes.

A multy crossover of MLP;Star Craft 2 and League of Legends.

Sequal: Deffending the universe

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 73 )

Three things.

ONE, always start a new paragraph for a new speaker.

“I wonder if can fly up to those meteors and bring one down?” Rainbow Dash thought. “I wouldn’t recommend it to you Dash. It’s pretty cold up there. Water would freeze in about half a minute.” Twilight replied. “Any one of ya’s ever thought if there is someone or something that actually lives somewhere out there ?” Applejack asked. “Yeah, imagine all the new friends I could make!” Pinkie Pie emphasized as energetic as usual. “Or all the animals that might live on other worlds.” Wondered Fluttershy. Twilight tried to respond to everypony as much as possible. “Well it isn’t a complete impossibility. Somewhere in the cosmos the is probably another world who could support life like ours.” “If so I hope they are not some kind of filthy brutes.” Stated Rarity. “Oh Twilight, Twilight!” Pinkie had brainstormed another idea. “Can’t you cast some sort of spell on me, with which I can travel to other worlds?” “Sorry Pinkie, but I am afraid that would take quite the time to research, even by the magicians in Canterlot University. But I bet that some time--” Everypony stopped talking as Pinkie shouted to all who could hear. “TWITCHY TAAAIL!”

would become

“I wonder if can fly up to those meteors and bring one down?” Rainbow Dash thought out loud.

“I wouldn’t recommend it to you Dash. It’s pretty cold up there. Water would freeze in about half a minute.” Twilight replied.

“Any one of ya’s ever thought if there is someone or something that actually lives somewhere out there ?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah, imagine all the new friends I could make!” Pinkie Pie emphasized as energetic as usual.
“Or all the animals that might live on other worlds.” Wondered Fluttershy.

Twilight tried to respond to everypony as much as possible. “Well it isn’t a complete impossibility. Somewhere in the cosmos there is probably another world who could support life like ours.”

“If so I hope they are not some kind of filthy brutes.” Stated Rarity.

“Oh Twilight, Twilight!” Pinkie had brainstormed another idea. “Can’t you cast some sort of spell on me, with which I can travel to other worlds?”

“Sorry Pinkie, but I am afraid that would take quite the time to research, even by the magicians in Canterlot University. But I bet that some time--” Everypony stopped talking as Pinkie shouted to all who could hear.

“TWITCHY TAAAIL!”

Much easier to read.


TWO, you ought to describe things to a point of fault. More details means more readers, as everyone becomes engrossed in the words written that play out like a movie in their imagination.

THREE, I like the idea of the story so far, but you ought to research into the roles of the Mane 6 a bit more. They seem just a tad OOC at a few moments.

1408022 Well i am new to writing fan fics. This is the 1st one i am doing so far. And don't worry, i wil go in to detail and describe the story with the 6 better. This is the 1st chapter and nothing actually happens to them. The good stuff is coming later on. :ajsmug: Still thanks for your advise. Will take it in to consideration! :)

1427868
This chapter. I like it.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8kpgfEvJx1ruojeh.gif

Yes, it most certainly is better! I'm very glad you rewrote this so it is easier to read and comprehend. Very good job! :pinkiehappy:
Keep up the good work!

Comment posted by KRissCHu573 deleted Dec 31st, 2012

There needs to be more muti-crossover stories, because they are greatly entertaining.:yay::raritywink:

What is this about? Your writing style is really nice and while the concept of arrival is a bit overused, it's still great! Your grammar is a bit off, but there can only be improvement! Overall, good story. Keep doing what you're doing!

that was sad for Luna. Anyway why you put Heimer in second group? Isn't that supposed to be Viktor cause he is Blitz' creator?

1875404 Victor made his body not his mind, but after he became sentient Blitz left Zaun, due to the fact that Victor wanted him to do stuff against his will. So the bot went to Piltover, and who else would take the most interest in him. Heimer. :ajsmug: + Victor is a bad guy, why would he want to do good? :twilightsheepish:

1879985 he is not an absolute evil. He just wanted to be famous scientist of all. He became half-robot cause he didn't wanted this to be stealed. And besides, he would make one of thoose terrans to go way of an "Absolute Evolution" and see what would be happened

1880031Now ah didn't say he was absolute evil. I meant that he kinda despised Blitz for ditching him. Something like that. And for me personally, Heimer feels as the more right choice in the matter.

1880031 Btw, do you mind if i ask. Did i make that Luna part emotional enough? I didn't over or under do it, right? :twilightoops:

1880258 naaaah, everything is fine. Only pussys coulnd't handle it

nice. Very nice. You made Rengar looking much cooler with beating evolved Kha alone. Keep it up

This thing is coo' :pinkiehappy:

You cannot infest zealots, the Khala suicides them. So "corrupted zealots" as you called them, are quite impossible. Fusing Zerg and Protoss results in either a dead Protoss or a Hybrid. Other then that, good job. This is a fun read.

2153138 You misunderstood. Hybrids can take control of protoss and zerg. By "corrupted protoss" i mean like the ones from the Marked for death mission in the campaign.

The insanity... make it stop...

All we need now is Twilight Sparkle getting assimilated into the herd and standing side-by-side with Kerrigan and AssimilatedFluttershy and NeoChrysalis against that hybrid sucker... and the madness will be complete.

2197491 You mean the swarm, not the herd, right? What do you mean by NeoChrysalis? She is also an infestie. And what hybrid sucker are you speaking of good sir? Becasue at the moment

2197751 yes the swarm, and just infested chrysalis. I just used a different name. As for the Hybrid thing... meh, forget it.

man...nice chapter. Especially parts with Kassa. ESPECIALLY with Sona's "payment"

2216989 Thanks. I thought that part up after a cold, hard dose of 1h epic music mix of legend combined with lolh. :twilightsmile:

This is a great fic:rainbowkiss:


Poor fluttershy:fluttercry:

2293712 Why thank you good sir. :twilightsmile:

Poor fluttershy:fluttercry:

Wait for it...

The entire story is AWESOME!!
Will the ponies and zeratul meet? :rainbowkiss:

2311801 Sorry to disapoint, but Klastanar and a few other protoss will be the only ones that will visit Equestia, but not Zeratul. :applejackunsure: Maybe if I get around on making a sequal, there is a plausable chance that Zeratul might come to Equestria, but I can't promise anything.

2311824 Its ok, continue this story the way you want it :twilightsmile:

Nicely done!:pinkiehappy:

I spotted a few errors but they didn't matter much.

Meet tibbers! :rainbowlaugh:

I really love your stories
keep it up

I like how you send Immortal to top lane and to fight agaisnt Cho'gath. Pretty much immortal counters him because his cannon does a tons of damage to an amored unit.
Zertual's ability is similar to Talon so sending him to mid lane is a logical.
but i dont know why you would send zealot to bot lane instead of the stalker and make him jungle.
I think you should have sent stalker to bot lane becasue a) he is a ranged champion b) he has a blink that is similar to ez's flash
zealot would have been a great jungler becasue he has a charge for ganking.
This is how i would send them if i can micro them.

nice work on sona though since all the protoss can communicate telepathcially and it seems that sona was happy about it.

Tell me your thoughts. why did you send zealot a bot lane.
Stalker could have harrass the fuck out of darius and garen.
maybe we could see some zealot X Sona action? :heart:

2421868 Well, my main idea about sending the zealot to bot vs garen and darius was to show off how much better warriors the protoss are. And of course Sona is happy about it. If your entire life you were unable to comunicate with anyone, wouldn't you be happy to find someone? Sorry to disapoint but no zealot X Sona action. First of, protoss barely(almost don't) have romance going on between themselves, let alone with other species. And if you read on a bit, the guy leaves before anything can occur. But there is an interesting Sona moment coming on, and I have been thinking up another one. :raritywink:
Thanks for reading, and do leave more comments. I like the guys who read and leave large interesting comments. :twilightsmile:

Poor Chrissy :pinkiesad2:

Thanks to this fic, I really want to see game crossovers between LoL and SC2. Who wouldn't want Zeratul in the League?

This is a really nice fic you have. Looking forward to what the future holds :rainbowdetermined2:

2429912 I believe you will be pleasantly surprisied. :raritywink:

2430226 I believe you will deliver :pinkiehappy:

After you corrected me on my story, I decided to go read your's. Even though I've never played LoL, I really liked this fic, and hope that there is a sequel. But one thing: I've read that Protoss voices have very little emotion in them (and none if they use sundrop), and that you said that the Protoss's faces made different emotions. How do two eyes on a face make such a wide variety of emotion?

2437662 Friend...I have seen shit on the internet...that would make your hair turn white. Just two eyes making so much emotion, isn't rocket science. And it's not just the eyes. They don't have mouths, but they have cheekbones, and brows. Eyes + cheekbones + brows are pretty much 56% of all emotion expressions. But only the straight forward ones, suggesting happines, dislike, confusion, anger, surprise, boredom. The mixed ones like envy, gloating, ect, require the mouth. Hope I have answered your question. :twilightsmile:

2445446 Yeah I realized I was wrong when I posted that. But one thing:

The long lock of hair as you see on my head is our devotion to the Khala

Protoss have hair?
I thought those were their nerve cords.
Or are those the two lines going from the back of their heads?

2446697 Actually yes. That long black thing on the back of the zealot, that comes out of its head is hair. And the dark temps have too, only theirs is cut.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs41/f/2009/015/d/4/injured_protoss_zealot_by_bugball.jpg
Also, random fact. Protoss hair is so thick it can only be cut with a laser, and after it's cut, it doesn't grow back.

Nicely done!
Ew elise xD

Keep uP the good work!

*confetti*

:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy: wooot!

2476267 Thank you for the support my good freind. :twilightsmile:

Technically, if Twilight became a princess wouldn't she still be around?

2476283 She is, only she is somewhere else atm, as for the rest of the Element bearers...well....100 years...you get the picture. :twilightblush:

2477136 Well if there is to be a sequal, the main antagonist will be the LoL Void. Xerath, well the dude is pretty much immortal so he is probably gonna make and appearance. Do not worry sir, I will do my best to please. :raritywink:

2476289 that's sad..... I hope the zerg will be one of the protagonists in the sequel

2478905 100 years have passed, Amon is already taken care off in the LotV, so there is no reason for Kerrigan to not side with the protagonists. :twilightsmile:

Aww, no Protoss point of view?

Login or register to comment