The name's Dash. (Previously Ronnie) And I write humanized pony stories. Welcome to my humble page.
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Twilight demands a rematch against Rainbow Dash swearing she's better at soccer than she was before. The game eventually turns into a soccer lesson, which would be fine if only she could actually focus on the actual lesson and not on the body of her instructor.
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I aprove! Of everything but the fact that this is only one chapter.
Want more!!!!
why is there no romance tag?
5530732 gah! Guess i forgot it!
5530737 happens to the best of us.
Suggestion: Kill "Random" and "Alternate Universe." This was all one narrative that led from one thing to another, nothing random about it as Fimfic defines the tag. And unless the mods told you to put AU there (I don't know how they handle that), Equestria Girls is canon, not an AU.
Having too many unnecessary tags turns readers off.
5530799 i thought the EG world was an alternate universe to the pony world though?
5530824 Near as I can tell the movies are completely inline with the show.
As a soccer player, this caused me physical pain.
As a Twidasher, this... kinda disappointed me, honestly. Although there isn't much to the story itself, it stays interesting enough to hold my attention (A feat which is becoming increasingly difficult) and the fluffy payoff was nice. Still, it's not really long enough for me to really enjoy it. There's no buildup of me wanting to see the two get together. It's just "Bam, Twilight likes Dash, they play soccer, she gets the girl who... likes her too! Don't question the author, damn it!"
You give no reason for this story to even exist, which is probably the most disappointing thing. I dunno, a lot of people are going to say that I'm being too demanding of a short fluff piece but... well, I don't think that's true at all. Amazing things have been done with small word counts and seemingly simple topics, and this... didn't do that at all.
I personally loved the story Great job !
P.s I love the cover art!
I can't even words because of that picture.
Before reading, I feel I should point out that Dash looks like a 10-year old boy in the cover art. To me, that is.
5532585 Okay, so the fic recognizes the boy look. The story itself was... eh. The climax felt kind of sudden, and the story doesn't seem to stand out in any way. Not comedy-wise, in any case.
5532585
She looks like a sixteen-year-old athletic girl who emphasises muscle over fat.
69th like.
5530913 well at least i tried.
5533131
Try not to take it too personal. Some people think every story on here should be Shakespeare or something. Forgetting that these are free stories we do with our free time and comments like (I thought it was ehh) are about as helpful in improving as a kick to the stomach.
I loved it, hope you do another one!
5533221 thank you
5530862 There's evidence in season 4 that flat out say EQG doesn't actually happen, so its safe to say that the movies take place in an alt universe.
5532969 Actually, my issue was that I don't think she has enough muscle. No visible biceps, only a taut abdomen. But that might be the twig-like Equestria Girls anatomy that's throwing me off. And maybe the body ratios.
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
5533727 [Citation Needed]
5534796 "Well, the last three times we've seen each other haven't exactly been worry-free," - Twilight Sparkle Threes a Crowd Later confirmed by Meghan via Twitter that she was talking about Games Ponies Play, The Crystal Empire, and A Canertlot Weeding. If EQG happened it would have been 4. (Good luck finding the tweet it was months ago but I remember it perfectly)
Later in the season "Last time you were here, you got the Crystal Heart to Princess Cadance in time to save this entire empire from destruction!" - Twilight Sparkle Equestia Games if EQG happened it wouldn't have the last time it would have been the first time. The last time he was there would have been EQG.
5534846 it's more likely that both Twilight and Spike remember EG as their trip to the human world, not their journey to the Crystal Empire. Or it could just be a script error like when Applebloom says that she and Twist are the only ones without cutie marks, and then two fillies spring out of nowhere.
That said, you do make a solid point, I guess at this point, whether it's real or not is left to interpretation.
5535628 I doubt that, they where still in the Crystal Empire we're never told why they where there but I'm sure they had a reason and Twilight would have stayed to spend time with Cadence. I mean I would have if I where her.
I always thought that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle transfered into Appleblooms class after that episode, so Applebloom didn't know they where at the school, though that dosen't make sense because a lot of Fillies in the Newspaper episode don't have there cutie marks.
5533921
It might be.
Comment may contain spoilers
Hm. She's definitely checking me out...does she swing that way though? Only one way to know
Yup, she's hot for me, goin in for the kill
*gropes*
*had always known
or
*always knew
Superfluous 'get'
*Fangirl screams for the millionth time*
I personaly LOVE the cover art...sexy Dashie.....
I have to say, TheNewYorkBrony, you have such a way with fanfiction shippings, i can't stop screaming with excitement!!!
~ ClassyStrings
5536195
Actually, in EQG, in the first thirty seconds, they say that they are there for Twilight's 'very first princess summit'.
Other than that, I personally consider it all as the same universe.
Awesome, you should write more XD
media.giphy.com/media/Ou18ZgE49Fss0/giphy.gif
5737185
I really wanna see more TwiDashfrom you now
It's cute, even thought it's a bit frustrating me for no reason
Good luck
Ah, I nice sexy little TwiDash story
Faving this
You get a MatPat clap and a half.
Faved, like, will remember.
10/10
Chuck Norris Approves.
Seal of Approval.
Batman Approves.
Ouch!
A little better, I guess...
Should of paid attention.