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Rainbow Dash can't wait to start the awesome day she has planned for her and Applejack. She's so eager she's already parked herself right outside the Acres, bright and early.

But geeze, what's taking AJ so long?

First Published
10th Jul 2014
Last Modified
10th Jul 2014
#1 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

i was all like "this seems interesting let's read it" and then i showed up and there was a sad tag and now i'm like "ono what do"

#2 · 150w, 2d ago · 36 · ·

You... you bastard. :fluttercry::fluttershbad:

#3 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

... damn you, Eakin.  This was not the story to read while watching Supernatural. :fluttershysad:

#4 · 150w, 2d ago · 6 · ·

>>4673302

My two inspirations for this were the end of 'Jurassic Bark,' for the basic premise of the waiting, and that one episode of Scrubs with Brendan Fraser. The 'where do you think we are?' one. Haven't seen Supernatural yet.

#5 · 150w, 2d ago · 16 · ·

>>4673318

I saw Dash on a cloud, a description of her waiting for AJ...

...I never saw the sad tag.

But I guessed about midway or so.

You utter, utter bastard. :pinkiesad2:

#6 · 150w, 2d ago · 19 · ·

Eakin? Sad?

Nu-uh, no way! I already learned my lesson with Ponydora Prancypants and his Que Sera Sera. I do NOT read sad-fics by people who have done other stuff I love. That is, like, BEGGING for me to shoot myself in the feels. Well not for THIS sucker! *Goes off to be happy somewhere else, as he doesn't want to be depressed mere hours before going to work, as he works alone, and might succumb to despair.)

#7 · 150w, 2d ago · 5 · ·

>>4673318 Well, your story doesn't have killer ghosts, but still my mind went straight to "Twilight's getting everyone together to salt and burn AJ's bones to put her ghost down for good."

#8 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Took me till the black dress to get what was going on. At first I thought she didn't know but instead she was just in denial. I can understand wanting to live in a fantasy. Reality sucks. It hurts more then anything else. It can bring happiness but take it away just as easily. Sometimes, it is easier to just stay forever in a fantasy. But in doing so, your hurting those who care about you. And you can never move on. I have dealt with death more then once. It really bites but I have learned long ago to keep moving on. Sure it may hurt now, but there are so many things to look forward to in life. Just because one life ends, doesn't mean that yours has to as well.

Do you think you could maybe do one more chapter? I want to hear what each pony has to say. :pinkiesad2:

#9 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Damn you. I was happy, and damn you.

>>4673291

read it.

#10 · 150w, 2d ago · 6 · ·

...

Note to self: Don't ever ignore the sad tag, especially from a good writer, ever.

I need to calm myself down.

#11 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673318

:rainbowlaugh:

I haven't even read this, but after seeing the description my first thought was 'Oh Jurassic Bark with ponies'.

#12 · 150w, 2d ago · 7 · ·

>>4673369

I don't know what another chapter would really add. The death might be the catalyst of the story but it isn't really the point. The point is the denial and why she's coping that way. Another chapter would dilute that in a pretty major way seeing as how it's been resolved now.

#13 · 150w, 2d ago · 5 · ·

>>4673398

This all started with the idea that Seymore would have made a kickass Element of Loyalty.

#14 · 150w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

Dammit, I'm doing my best to laugh this off because if I don't it'll be tears instead and my co-workers will wonder why the hell I'm crying in my cubicle.

Fortunately, comments like >>4673345's are helping with this.

#15 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>4673420

I was all prepared to add this to the AppleDash folder, but now... I'm not sure I should! :twilightangry2:

#16 · 150w, 2d ago · 5 · 1 ·

Eh...

I mean, it was good. Well written. Emotional. But just a bit... Iunno, hamfisted? Like, I think the dream with AJ pushed it from sad to schmaltzy. Too blunt, you know? And obvious from the moment Fluttershy asked Dash what she said, but then I guess that is unavoidable.

Eh, still, not bad, all things considered.

#17 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Manly tears.

#18 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

This hurt. :fluttercry:

#19 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Ouch

#20 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

I saw the sad tag gave it a shot and oh boy Right in Heart that was heart wrenching

#22 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · 3 ·

Why do we have to have Applejack die, out of everypony?

Still, great deliverance of feels and fantasy. I'll thank you for it just as soon as I get this boulder out of my eye.

#23 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

...I Cried as much as I did at the end of the Seymore Episode.

DAMN IT EAKIN, cutting ALLL my heartstrings.

#24 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Good story, very sad. :fluttershysad:

#25 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673420 ... you're welcome?  Just because I didn't notice the sad tag and figured it out soon as Fluttershy ran ...

#26 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Why you so depressing?

#27 · 150w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

:fluttershysad: Not gonna cry, not gonna cry, not gonna-

Dang it. :fluttercry:

Phenomenal one-shot man.  Nice to see the subject of love and expressing it for others addressed in a platonic sense so wonderfully.  Don't see nearly enough of that in fanfiction, and it seems truer to the show's spirit than shipping main characters does.  Thank you for this. :twilightsmile:

#28 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

I realized what happened when you said Rarity was wearing black. This seems exactly what Rainbow would do when confronted with death, just sit up there, on a cloud, waiting in stout denial.

Waiting for Applejack.

#29 · 150w, 2d ago · 3 · 2 ·

Meh, waaay to obvious. By now this kinda thing has been done a lot already, so if you have read a couple of similar stories you see what's coming a mile away. There is no surprise factor if that was what you were going for. Certainly seems to be the case, if its not I don't understand the reason for why this story exists. There is no information at all about what happened, how or why, so there really is nothing to the story besides the supposedly attempted  element of surprise. Written well from a technical standpoint, but for me personally its a story I probably will have forgotten by tomorrow.

Before I sound too much like a negative Nancy, the scenes with Dash and Twilight and even more with Dash and Pinkie were interesting. I personally would think that the story might be more interesting if the focus was more on that. Perhaps that is what you were going for anyway, the scene with Twilight lasts long enough. Just the scene afterwards sorts of kills that scene, for me.

#30 · 150w, 2d ago · 4 · 2 ·

you killed best pony:fluttercry:...

#31 · 150w, 2d ago · 5 · ·

For a mare so devoted to maintaining her image, so dedicated to playing the part, it's really the only logical way she would react in this situation. Deny, deny, deny.

Excellently done, Eakin. Thank you for it.

#32 · 150w, 2d ago · 7 · ·

Because I could not wait for Dash --

she kindly waited for me --

The Cloud held but just Herself --

a pegasus pony.

Since then -- 'tis Centuries -- and yet

Feels shorter than the Day

I first surmised the Horses' Heads

Were now numbered Three (because Cadance the executive's daughter wanted to be a princess, despite the fact that it broke the dual goddess-hood of Celestia-Luna.)

#33 · 150w, 2d ago · 7 · ·

>>4673674

I wasn't going for surprise. I fully expected most readers to pick up what was really going on fairly quickly. The reason for that is the same as the reason that there's no information given on just how she died. It's completely irrelevant. The point was for there to be an ever-widening gap between the world that the reader was inferring and the denial Rainbow was setting up for herself. The tension builds and builds as her rationalizations get increasingly flimsy and we see all the signs that she knows what's happening but refuses to admit it. Hence the whole metaphor of the continuously deteriorating cloud she won't come down from.

The Twilight scene was supposed to be uncovering why she'd created the separation in the first place and what was holding her back from accepting the truth. Then the resolution where she says what she has to say to Dream!AJ and it's enough to yank her back to reality when she wakes up.

Bottom line, this is really a story about Rainbow Dash in which Applejack is only tangentially involved.

#34 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · 1 ·

All 'six' of them went to the graves? Rainbow, Twi, Flutters, Rarity, Pinkie aaaand... Well, Applejack is dead. Is there a sixth person I missed, or is that a typo?

#35 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673756

Fair enough. Before too long you are practically giving it away, so that makes sense.

#36 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673760

Well, they had AJ with them in a coffin... is the lame excuse I just made up to cover up the fact that I made a mistake. I'll tweak that. :twilightblush:

#38 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>4673291

>>4673393

this comments section has me terrified

#39 · 150w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

>>4673442

And when Pinkie says it to another mare nopony else thinks anything of it, but the tomboy with the rainbow mane is a whole other story. I know it’s just stupid colts saying stupid stuff about things they don’t actually know anything about, but I still hear it. Just because I love her doesn’t mean I want to swap spit and get freaky in the hayloft with her.”

Methinks not. :rainbowwild:

#40 · 150w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

A tale as old as time, but beautifully done. This isn't just moping, but this is flat out denial. In the rare cases where I have seen the same thing done, though, the person/pony question usually keeps on denying. Here, Rainbow finally gives in....dream AJ also caught me off guard. Well done.

Oh, and my eight year old sister saw these emotes on the side, and asked me to use the Twist emote in my comment. :twistnerd:

#41 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

Pain. Just...pain :fluttercry:

#42 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673807

You should read it!

Biased? Me? Of course not! :scootangel:

#43 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673452

I agree. I've read this story before. Like, several times. It isn't that it is a bad story, but more that I didn't really need to hear it again, and I do kind of agree with the dream being a bit hamfisted there, though on the other hand I understand why you did it (and it is quite common in stories like this, though far from universal).

#44 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>4673917

>>4673452

Perhaps I overestimated the appeal of the 'is it Rainbow's subconscious or is Applejack's soul helping her before she moves on' element I wanted to play with in the dream. Wouldn't be the first time I made a creative choice while trying to be too clever by half and had it backfire.

#45 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>4673951

'is it Rainbow's subconscious or is Applejack's soul helping her before she moves on'

The answer to that is, of course, yes. :pinkiehappy:

#46 · 150w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

That breaking sound was my heart.

#47 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673958

Exactly!

Personally I like the slightly more mystical interpretation myself, but it reads fine either way.

#48 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

>>4673951

Honestly? Either or, it was still a bit... much. I would have gone a more obscure route about it. More psychological than an actual conversation. I... have no friggin' clue how exactly, but you're the better author, so, uh... PONIES!!

#49 · 150w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

So I figured out the premise of this pretty soon, as soon as it was mentioned that Rarity was wearing black.

Still rather sad, and an interesting look at the character's. You wrote them quite well, and how I could imagine them reacting to the situation. Good job :pinkiesmile:

#50 · 150w, 2d ago · 4 · ·

>>4673760 I assumed that the sixth was Spike.

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