• Member Since 28th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 18 minutes ago

shortskirtsandexplosions


space is a waste

E

Rainbow Dash turns thirty, and it's just like any week, month, year, or decade of her life.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 172 )

A sad story by SS&E? Get the hell outta here.
EDIT: Skirts... a-are you projecting?:fluttershysad:

Comment posted by Scootaloser deleted Apr 6th, 2013

How the hell do you keep pumping this stuff out so quickly?

I have a list of things to do before I turn 30
-get laid
-get my own house
-drink a gallon of apple juice in one sitting
-go streaking
-drive a car, going at 100 mph
-fly a plane
-try escargot
-knock some one out in 1 punch
-don't die
-.... I dunno muffins or something?

"Captain, my Captain?"

Dead Poets Society For The Win!

2378932

I laughed so hard at this comment, I grew a mustache. :moustache:

Commence read.

I would have hoped turning certain ages would be great. Though it can be just another day.

2378977

1. have gay sex with nicolas cage
2. have gay sex with nicolas cage
3. have gay sex with nicolas cage
4. have straight sex with nicolas cage
5. have straight sex with nicolas cage
6. have gay sex with nicolas cage

"Sorry, Fluttershy," Rainbow flung the door open and spread her wings. "I gotta jet."

Even in the midst off Rainbow's sad ranting, that still made me laugh. That was a Jimmy Neutron/Jet Fusion reference right?

Mid-life crisis Dash is worst Dash. Great story though Two Thumbs up!!

2379111 how can you have both gay and straight sex with Nicolas Cage?

Well, that hit me right in the feels.

2379146

miraculous marvels of modern medicine

2379181 ..... I'm just gonna go now....

I'm... okay. I'll be over here. Where this can't happen. Because I can't. Because this...

It's not as if...
I mean, I'm not...
I have...


I refuse this. Time can't make what was wrong right or what was right wrong. No matter how tangled the thoughts get or how lethargic...
It just isn't. The only way it is is if it always was. And I can't possibly begin to accept a universe where wrong was all that ever happened.

Happy birthday, ya charismatic stallion of a lemur.

So many tears. Can't we have happy things?

Damn it, why would you do that to my feels? :pinkiesad2: And- And best pony!... Applejack... GAH!

Sorry Skirts, but this was my least favorite fic that you have done that I have read. The characters were very far outside themselves, and the memory issues for Dash, while being a mechanic to show her age even with her still being fast, would imply something very wrong at 30. Yes you lose a touch of sharpness but not that.

Twilight, even running the kingdom would put off anything for Dash at that point. Literally all of the characters were outside my thoughts of what is even possible for them.

I am 44 years old and well acquainted with "what if I did X instead of Y second guessing" but it just evoked the whole thing "wrong."

Much like Dash herself, this story moved around a lot, but it didn't really seem to go anywhere. I didn't really care for it... though that may be because some of the themes struck uncomfortably close to home... :unsuresweetie:

So, in your headcannon, Rainbow Dash is 19 at the time of Magical Mystery Cure?

2378932
I too am wondering this :applecry:

Funny, isn't it? Realizing you don't cry at funerals. Having lofty aspirations, but never quite reaching them. Staying the same, when everything around you changes.

Pretty lonely, too.
But it's not like we ever really feel lonely, anyways.

heh. . .sadly I can relate to how she thinks and feels. . .I'm pretty sure at this point I'm screwed.

Grief can do that. Sometimes, when you lose someone close to you...the mind shuts down in odd ways. You lock into a routine, and the world becomes a comfortable, numb "now" as long as you can keep it that way. Ambition vanishes, the desire for a future being replaced with the desire for an endless repetition that takes minimal effort, refinement rather than progress, the comfort that a day, a week, a month, a year, ten spent in the routine brings.

Eight years and counting here. Not totally numb, but pretty much everything in the story is spot-on for a bad case of the same thing I've got. If you find it a confusing read, congratulations. You've never had something hit you hard enough the right way to find it familiar instead.

Hmm.. not sure what to think of this story. So used to straight up comedy from you. This story was so full of ennui.

2379851

Grief is a terrible and all-consuming monster. I've never been hit in the same manner you describe, but I think I can relate. It seems to be similar to the feeling of feeling nothing.

2379444

Actually, Dash's wandering mind is right on target. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it, but enough grief can "jam" the mind up. Instead of the last stage of catharsis and letting go...it just gums up the mental works. Absentmindedness, aversion to "what next", an almost religious devotion to a daily routine...and a severe reduction in the ability to release your feelings, sometimes in specific ways, or in more severe cases emotional expression devolves into more pre-programmed "responses" than actual expressions of joy, sadness, etc.

If it seems strange and confusing, then it's right on target. RD losing AJ left her in emotional stasis, and having that trauma stuck in your head does precisely what you see happening in the story.

2379880

The human (or in this case, human-projected-on-pony) mind has a lot of not-quite-right ways to deal with grief if it's too much at once. This story is a rather accurate depiction of one of them. If it confused or disturbed you- good. You're likely healthier than the ones who understood it firsthand. If you see something of this in someone you know? This is what it's like on the inside when it's at it's worst.

I would like to point out that Rainbow seemed perfectly satisfied UNTIL everyone else convinced her she shouldn't be.

Thinking on it further, in fact, it seems to me that Rainbow's friends did a lousy job of... ya know... being friends. The only one who can live your life is you, obviously. But the role of a friend is to be there for you, and they simply weren't. Either they completely failed to notice anything was wrong (Twilight and Rarity), or worse, they noticed and didn't say or do anything (Pinkie and Fluttershy.) Rainbow is not an easy person to know, and not an easy person to comfort. But it seems like they didn't even try.

2379941

And honestly? When you're like this, you ARE satisfied with what is. And people poking you about "wow, why aren't you doing MORE" is quite uncomfortable. I live with someone who doesn't get it why I'm so content with my job, living arrangements, etc. and not worrying about retirement, or getting a bigger place, or owning a home, etc. etc.

The desire is for as little change as possible, one's efforts devoted to keeping what one has rather than adding to it. And when you look at someone like RD who's entire character is about becoming bigger, better, higher turning into a creature of habit whose desires are to just be the same ol' weather pony, holding her place, being the same, never rising higher...well, that's where you see the effects.

Grief, tying a leash to Dash's tail so she contentedly flies in circles instead of soaring for the stars. And unless someone shoves that under your nose, it feels perfectly normal to circle endlessly, only disturbed occaasionally by reminders of prior ambitions or the progress of friends and family.

2379999

That's fair. But then, my question is this: Why did they wait ten years before doing so? And only when Dash brought it up first? And as passive-aggressively as possible?

I mean yeah, thinking about it a bit more in depth, you're probably right. But looking at how the situation was handled - or rather not handled - all I can ask is, what the hell?

2380054 I'm not in the mood for all this crap

2380012

Because this sorta thing is, for all that it's -wrong-, a functional thing on the outside. After all, Dash isn't curled up in a ball in her home, suicidal, homocidal, or otherwise showing massive external effects of emotional trauma. Early on, it actually seems normal- "Hey, good job! You aren't letting this break you from being what you are."

It only starts looking wrong when it goes on long enough, and even then it's not something most people would consider. The mental eye slides over the familiar- hey, there goes good old ol' Rainbow Dash, kickin clouds like an ace.

It isn't until she brings it up that you realize exactly how far each of the characters has gone- and that really, she's gone nowhere at all. In the story, everyone's been so busy going forward, nobody even thinks to look to see RD's in a holding pattern. Rarity's work, Fluttershy's animals, Twilight's affairs of state, Pinkie's family.

2378932
ha! I was actually listening to that when I first started reading that story.

Lets look at this clinically...

Rainbow Dash still does her job insanely fast -- lets say that it takes her at most 4 hours to complete the task.

Lets say she sleeps and naps fully 12 hours of every day.

You still have 8 hours left per workday of free time and 12 hours per weekend day.

She is NOT spending it with her friends. This is pretty obvious by the reactions of the characters in the story. They even have misconceptions.

She is NOT spending it on wonderbolts stuff, nor is she doing periodicals or new books. All of her magazines are YEARS old and there is nary a new book.

She doesn't have the bits to be blowing them.

Really she is missing a past-time to be focusing on to be able to lose so much time.

When you retreat from the world you need something to fill that gap and it has not been shown here.

I disagree on the mental state -- yes one can become colder and self-denying -- BUT that does not lead to the mental disorder level loss of mind Dash is showing.

Huh. I liked it, but I was expecting the party scene to be at least mentioned.

One of the mane 6 dying early always hits my feels hard. There's something especially tragic about the effect it has on the remaining friends. When it's portrayed right, you can tell that they're just... broken, somehow. Like a car with one tire missing, and you can sort of watch as it scrapes along for a while, but you know things are never going to be okay again.

This was portrayed right.

I can totally relate, yet I'm only twenty… Is that bad?
I dunno, it just feels so hard to feel. Listlessly following the routine is easier.

Also, yeah, Skirts is definitely projecting here.

I loved the ending. Pretty much the story of Rainbow Dash's life.

See, this is my issue with fics that take place any significant number of years after our perception of the show. It's just so difficult to envision the characters with changed voices and appearances. I spend the entire time reading trying to nail down exactly what they look and sound like, and it ends up detracting from the story for me.

On another note, this is still well written and frighteningly relatable in my case.

OK...
That's it.

Sorry, Now I'm back to put in some further thought.
I can honestly say that the story leads you into a great mental mindset almost right away, and I believe that as a "few years pass since then" concept worked great for the characters personalities and felt that most were quite believable in the way you portrayed them. Obviously the fact of some further background story are always wanting, I believe you pulled the story off fairly well. And of course your open endings are annoyingly inspiring for the mind to try to create what happens after.
Good Story and continue being a great writer.

I do not see a derpy pony,
I see Derpy, a pony.
one day I will figure out how to put a sig in fimfiction

I'm guessing that Rainbow Dash has some kind of brain damage from a wonderbolts accident.

Ow, Great. Another "beautiful" tearful story with one of the mane 6 dying early.

Warning: This comment contains spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, DON'T read this comment!

(And to shortskirtsandexplosions: I have a very difficult time organizing my thoughts, so I apologize if this comes off as a smattering of words instead of anything coherent)

I enjoy this story. It has a lot of merits to it. To being with by being technical, there are some frighteningly great lines in this:

They had disappeared on their own, having rinsed the moisture loose completely. All of the weather flier's hoofwork had practically vanished.

Suddenly, it was the middle of the day. Time hinged on a single, blinding moment, and she felt like she could just as easily have been falling the entire time.

"How can I?" She gasped as if staring into the face of death beyond the graves.

Beautiful words here that have a great impact. !he prose seemed controlled, with not a lot of distracting imagery and some brilliant, thought-provoking parts in there.

Another thing I liked is how you described the setting. I'm not familiar with television programs or art stuff, so please excuse my limited reference: the crazy images of the setting, like the shifting sunrise/sunset, the midday hinging of time, and the "shifting, gliding, coming and going" of the final setting reminded me of Escher's staircase painting. It was both beautiful and unique.

I also really like the order in which characters are introduced. Beginning with Scootaloo, an integral character and, to some degree, Rainbow Dash's protégé, creates a good sense of familiarity in this world. Also, showing the squirt's path in life as demolition is great. Then you move on to the pegasi, ponies she'd be more familiar with, and how both older and younger have been getting along; I think that's brilliant, since it deals with her past and her job. Seeking advice from Rarity was great, since she's one of the "more mature" (I think) of the ponies.

Her dealing with the Daring Do novels, I admit, confused me, but looking at the medals was an okay touch. It didn't touch me as much as the crown, but it was a bit touching.

Pinkamena is one character that stands out as being one of the best. I can't comment on changing her to Pinkamena, but what happens to her, raising a foal of her own, was brilliant. With how Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie interact being pranking and moving around really fast, one of them slowing down and settling is a very nice foil.

Apple Bloom's part, however, kinda unsettles me. I've never considered that Apple Bloom and Rainbow Dash could be so close to each other simply through Applejack, to the point of creating conflict between them, and I thought that was genius. However, I think the problem is that you try and tie in a conflict about home and family, but I couldn't make the link. This is probably my fault, and I apologize for it.

At first, I was iffy that Rainbow Dash would fly all the way to Canterlot for comfort when Fluttershy was a short distance away, but looking at the story, and the last line of her interaction with Apple Bloom, it makes sense. It also makes sense that Twilight, who wants to help so much, is restricted by her work. I like that as well.

And then we get to Fluttershy's part, which is probably my least favorite. I think it's because Fluttershy acts a lot more talkative than I'd care for, calling Twilight by her full name and instead of saying "she" in regards to Apple Bloom, she says "the pony." She's also very blunt with what she says, not entirely timid, and that just doesn't sound right to me. I see what you tried here, with the whole prison thing—and if so, that's great. It works. This would be a perfect opportunity to do so; it's just that Fluttershy is a bit too OOC for me (I don't know if it applies, though, since it's in the future).

And then there's a small moment with Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, Cheerilee and their foal, and I thought that that was touching.

And then we get to Applejack, and Rainbow Dash's confession. This is a key moment, since this really depends on what's being said, and how it's affected by their relationship. Applejack did try and keep Rainbow Dash grounded, and yet Rainbow Dash still tried going bigger and better. She learned a lot about the cost of going bigger and better in "Wonderbolt Academy" (I think), so there's some progress on her part. What is confessed is that

1. She still thinks of Applejack—a great reflection of how Rainbow Dash is feeling, like with everything drifting apart, she could be neglecting something in her life
2. She feels like she needs something to do, and that she could be going through a mid-life crisis because she doesn't have anypony to hold her down and keep her grounded—That's Applejack for you, I suppose.
3. She's been looking for some happy memories from the past—I don't know how to feel about this, if it's a relevant confession.
4. That she feels like she stopped feeling when Applejack died—I don't buy that at all.
5. She hopes she doesn't die with the fear of not discovering who she truly is—Again, I don't know how to react to this; I don't understand the concept.

Overall, the confessions are nice.

The big moment of change, though, is when she goes to Scootaloo and finally offers some support for her. This part got me bad, since it deals with deep, complex relationships and exposed the frail-yet-powerful heart of it. It was like a parent expressing their pride for their child before they left for college or some other big event; it leaves both paths uncertain, and allows many possibilities for both of them. I think this part is not only excellent, but outright beautiful.

That's what I like about this story. Now what don't I like about it?

In technicalities, there are two parts that stick out to me:

"Pfft! What's wrong?! You tell me what's wrong!" Apple Bloom frowned so hard her brow could cut diamonds. "Or can ya even do that?!"

That is really purple for me, and it made me stop reading for a second.

"So, now that’s two ponies I've managed to hurt today," Rainbow Dash grumbled, her wings drooped on either side. "Apple Bloom and the alicorn ruler of our kingdom."

The rhythm of this part is broken severely. Reading this, I think that either
1. Apple Bloom is not important enough to warrant her own title, not even "the sister of one of my best friends"
2. Twilight Sparkle is too important to just be called Twilight

I don't like the ending either. It's not that it's bad, although that can be up for debate; it's that I don't get anything from it. Not a necessary uncertainty, not a sense of closure—she's trying to feel still, and then she thinks about Applejack's headstone? I don't know what to make of it, and it loses me.

I don't know what to say about the change/family dilemma. For one thing, it's almost like they're fighting for supremacy, one trying to make the story about bonding with friends, another about change that's necessary for the future, and yet another about regrets. On the other hand, growing up, and life in general is confusing (I think; I've only recently turned 21), and maybe thoughts like these are best expressed in confused emotions. It is difficult to follow the various wants of Rainbow Dash, I'll admit, but maybe that's for the best.

I'll admit that I was so confused earlier in the day when I read it that I downvoted it (#7), but percolating on what it's trying to do, I'm going to change it to a like. The story has some wonderful language and imagery, and some great character interactions that seem believable if they were to go a few more years. There is a bit of confusion with the internal conflicts, and the ending's significance still eludes me, but I think this is a good story.

Take what you will from this; it's my current impression, from someone that has a lot to learn about the craft of literature and ponyfics.

EDIT: I think I forgot to mention, I don't know what the memory-loss adds to the story, but I don't like it, personally.
EDIT #2: Darnit, I forgot to mention this: I thought the green motif was cool, since green is a color associated with life and vibrancy, I think. The mention of green in her mane disappearing is like a clear sign of her aging, and I thought that was cool.
EDIT #3: There was one grammar error I spotted that was obvious: " A low rumble came from beneath Rainbow's throat. She pivoted her flank as she turned her head around. Glancing at her tail, she briefly wondered if she ever had the color green (to) begin with." That "to" that most likely needs to be there is missing.

For a moment there, I thought maybe Rainbow Dash would simply fly east.

Being on the far side of my own "mid-life crisis," I find this mindset of hers utterly believable: there were so many paths I could have taken, and often as not, I took the path of least resistance. Eventually I figured out that I could beat myself up for it, or I could learn to appreciate what I had.

And if SSEI is projecting -- well, it's a wide screen with intricate detail.

You remembered that "'cuz" must be preceded by an apostrophe only four of the twelve times you used the word.

"Emphasis on 'bright!'"

"What do you mean it's 'nothing?'"

"Huh? What do you mean 'done?'"

"You 'dunno?'"

I'm told to place exclamation points and question marks outside quotation marks (in this case, single ones) when an exclamation or question isn't being quoted.

"I've watched Rumble grow up from a little foal into a find gentlecolt," murmured Rarity over the cacophonous sound of sewing machines and steamers at the far end of the Boutique. "But, like all stallions, he does stand to put his ego in check from time to time.”

Those ought to be "a fine gentlecolt" and, I think, "he could stand".

You botch dialog punctuation tons of times. Here are two of them:

"Sorry, Fluttershy," Rainbow flung the door open and spread her wings.

"Fluttershy" should be followed by a period, not a comma.

"I'll come and visit whenever I can!" She exclaimed.

"She" needs to be lowercase.

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