• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen February 24th

Razalon The Lizardman


Twilight's friends have been cordially invited to attend her housewarming party at Everfree Castle, to which they're all very excited. However, they're stopped by the bridge's new keeper, who won't let them pass unless they answer all of his questions correctly. Can the ponies do just that, or will they be subjected to eternal peril as a consequence for failing?

100% Approved by Twilight's Library

9/25/2015 - New edits made to adhere to fimfic's guidelines regarding original vs lifted content.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 122 )
Majin Syeekoh

I deem this hilarious. Good show.

Twilight Sparkle actually writes *cough* in a letter? That is easily the strangest thing in this story.

4102026 Well perhaps she was dictating.

I love both works, I love this, I love you! (kidding)

OR AM I?!?!

I found but two mistakes, both open to interpretation.
The first is that in almost everything it's spelt 'Ditzy Doo' but that's more your choice.
The second is that I've heard, or read, the bridgekeeper say 'ere the other side but again, Nitpicking/YouWroteItI'mProbablyWrongDon'tHateMe :(

So many referancesss........ *REFERENCE OVERLOAD*

Get on with it!

Now that I’m a princess, Celestia and Luna have decreed that all land the Everfree Forest encompasses is to be my domain.

:trollestia: : You're now a princess, Twilight. Have a giant untameable forest filled with monsters and deadly vegetation, as well as a castle that's been left to rot for 1000 years. Enjoy!

"Ah mean, it ain't everyday a fictional creature becomes real an' gets in our way."

Fictional to you maybe...

This was just hilarious, and I say that as a firm fan of Monty Python. :rainbowlaugh:

"Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, and the other side they see"
You mean ere, as in before. Also there was a "creped" out in there somewhere. It conjoured a mental image of pancake based exaustion, maybe you could leave it :rainbowwild:

I love how you have a zebrican swallow carrying a coconut.
You should have done a scene with "The Knights who say......NI!!!!!!!!".
How can Scootaloo talk to LT. Gravels?


How can Scootaloo talk to LT. Gravels?

Mutants aren't excluded. :derpytongue2:

So much Monty!:pinkiegasp:
I'm either laughing or having nostalgia induced spasms right about now. Probably both.:pinkiecrazy:

#001 (pony): M, L, P, U

#597 (chicken): K, F, C, T

tis a fair cop:eeyup:

Priceless! I laughed... a lot. :rainbowlaugh:

Also, "fishete." :pinkiegasp:


Does this mean we can expect a fix in the future with a killer rabbit or the knights who say ne?


I´m still wondering why the Sisters decided to put their castle and capital of their kingdom in the fucking Everfree. I mean, they could have find a way to protect the Tree of Harmony without sitting on the top, right?:facehoof:

From satire to just a parody of itself. 'Random humor' done at a very uninteresting and sloppy manner, as though scraped together from small pieces of 'jokes' late one night. You can even see some of the glue that leaked out in this ball of a story, too appalling to really read beyond the 5th or so paragraph. Characters, both official and original, come out of nowhere that are supposed parodies of common tropes, but turn into the tropes themselves they're trying to parody... in a way.

Of course it's well received.

Now if you would excuse me I need to remove the holly grail :twilightsheepish:

you mean this holly grail? :trollestia:



Oh this was incredibly silly and incredibly well done.

Bravo. :moustache:

T]his is in my top three fav one-shots of all time. Thank you :twilightsmile:

4104203 My headcanon states that the castle was abandoned by Celestia for reasons of painful memories. Then the Everfree Plains grew over the thousand years of Luna's absence to become the Everfree Forest.:rainbowdetermined2:
Just me though. :scootangel:
Please don't start a headcanon war?:raritydespair:

4104202 Already did a Ni joke in the last story.

Angel, however, might be up for yanking somepony's chain. :pinkiecrazy:

Yeah that's my theory too. That either there was no Everfree Forest before NIghtmare Moon, or there was, but it didn't reach as far as the castle, and in both cases it just grew to encompass the castle.

Nopony expects the Chicken inquisition!!

Two questions:

Who, or what, is Lt. Gravels?

And why is there a big space when Rainbow and Fluttershy cross the bridge?



Who, or what, is Lt. Gravels?

Think real hard about why he's called that.

And why is there a big space when Rainbow and Fluttershy cross the bridge?

Click here for answers.

Beautiful! I loved it! It follows the source hilariously, not simply copying it word for word!

Now, I must now envision Twilight ruling over her sole subject, Zecora.

Assuming that towns near the Ever Free forest are not considered part of her domains. In that case, her freinds must worship her or the human will go after them with the sword, the gun and the British 'Kamakazees':pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:


I agree.

Just rewriting the original sketch does not inherently make it funny in a new medium.

4104871 Likewise, it seems easy to gain cheap recognition simply be representing the same, beat up, idea twice. I might as well write The Hitchhiker's Guide to Equestira, or something that was otherwise great, despite putting in a significant lack of effort to add anything new to the table.

I like the last three lines :pinkiesmile:

The moment I read "the zebrican swallow", I started chuckling. No way that'll have a payoff later!

And it didn't.... Huh.

The premise and character tags indicated that this could have been a very, very exasperating story, and impossible to laugh at, but once you established that Twilight was already at the castle, it became obvious that Spike would already be there as well, and would therefore not be excluded from a housewarming party for his own fucking house, as most obsessive, equine-doped, ponyphiles would be wont to write. Still, you could've clarified that during the Everfree trek (or at all), since every mention the ponies made to their destination incorporated "Twilight" or singular feminine pronouns. That got irritating.

I hope poor Scootaloo never learns what was tied to her face. ...That is, unless you meant a strap-on beak and not a...y'know, strapon...

>>>What, are the four nucleobases for chicken DNA?">>>

The same as in the DNA of all life as we know it: adenosine, guinine, cytosine, thymine

Perhaps you meant RNA, which has the base uracil instead of thymine and can contain modified bases such as inosine?

Or perhaps you were also thinking of methylation and acetylation, modifications to DNA and histones, respectively?


4104987 [youtube=-rfOWDD0tXI]

4104876 Just like the Call of Duty and Battlefield franchise!

I half expected Angel to attack ponies with his decapitating teeth. Nevertheless, all I must say to you good sir is....


4105064 Indeed. :rainbowlaugh:

Nevertheless, thanks for the info and I shall reward you. :raritywink:

410521 yes, IT would be quite funny if that happened :pinkiecrazy:


Not really, sorry. And it didn't help that you already wrote this fic once before.

4105324 Um, who are you replying to? :rainbowhuh:


you already wrote this fic once before.

Um, no I didn't. :ajbemused:

YOU SILLY ENGLISH KKKKNNNIGETS! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberry! I fart in your general direction! Now go away before I taunt you a second time!

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Moose bits can be very nasty mind you...
My sister was once bitten by one while engraving her initials on its flank with a intergalactic toothbrush given by her dentist, Sven.
Had to do it :trollestia:

4105453 .....I have no idea :rainbowderp: I think it was supposed to be the guy who said NI?

4105453 `

Oh, I thought I saw this same sketch done on here once before, but I guess it wasn't you. Sorry! What I mean more broadly though is that you keep writing sketches from Monty Python using ponies, without really changing much.

I see that Pinkie's herring was not red.

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