• Member Since 4th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 30th, 2021

Vallis


T

Ok, so get this. A dude and his best friend reunite after a long while. They move in together and become roomates again, and decide to have one... Unique piece... of a weekend.

One of the guys has an obsession for racing cars and superbikes. Anything fast really. Not too shabby at it either. Also an absolute encyclopedia about mechanics. Engine, transmission, torque converter, fuel injection, you name it. He can build it from top to bottom. Crafty as F too, this guy. His name is Chris.

The other guy has the magic touch with technology. Real smart. No, genius. Builds computers from scratch and all that genius what not, and in his spare time he makes his own little devices. Some huge, some trivial. Could probably build a personal satellite for himself if he wanted to, and launch it to space with a home made rocket for whatever reasons. Wait wait, I think he did that already? -Uhh, his name is Joel.

Crafty motherfudgers who love each other like bros. Did I mention they're crafty? Like, can do pretty crazy-in-an-awesome-way kind of things?

Get it yet? Eh? Eh? Eh?

-sigh-

Ok, so in their little weekend of awesomeness, they decide to do some pretty nutty stuff that would unsurprisingly worry the US government if the white house ever heard about it. The government never found out about it in the end though. Want to know why?

Because the two crazy mofos ended up pulling some Back to the Future type of thing, (literally) and disappeared from the face of Earth.

I'm Chris, by the way. Sooo...

Join us in our glorious adventure in our new home. Equestria.- Okay, listen, we've done some pretty crazy sh*t ever since we got here. I'm being straight up with you. Don't say I didn't tell you, because I did. Mkay? Mkay. I warned you.


Note: This is a dual self insert. Along with my broski, Joel. This is purely for comedy, and the way we act in this story is pretty much spot on in many ways. Although most of the things we will do is for comedic purposes. Don't take it seriously. No butthurt allowed in the comments, got it?

We cuss occasionally, no more than you do probably. So yeah, contains strong language, probably some violence. It's a comedy in our taste, and our taste is pretty crude sometimes. Or witty. A bunch of things really.

This monster of a story was inspired heavily by this handsome piece: I Blame You by Whitestrake

Also, I feel that I must repeat this. Don't take this seriously. Once again, this is done ENTIRELY FOR COMEDY. Okay? Good.

Now.

Enjoy my ugly piece of beauty of a story!



EDIT [5/22/2014]: [BIG SPOILER] Wondering when exactly I'm going to have to add the romance tag... PRETTY SOON, WOOP WOOP!!

Chapters (26)
Comments ( 223 )

3199130>>3199267

Y'ALL BETTER FAVE DIS SHYT!!! THINGS AIN'T NORMAL IN OUR WORLD ANYMOAR!! :flutterrage:

3199351 I noticed. My apologies my good gentleman. Carry on. :heart:

3199343

well huh,,,,fine ill fave it,,,but i never said i would press the thumbs up :trollestia::trollestia:

Definition of Regular Show: Most Awesome cartoon ever. And good story I am looking forward to reading more.

3205428 And may I ask, what is so funny? :duck:

3205546
Screw context!
(I don't know either D:)
((Bit rude if you ask me))

seem that your story started well:pinkiehappy:

3209248 It did man! I'm really pumped! Gives me all the reason to keep this story going! :pinkiehappy:

I'm writing the next chapter as we speak. I'll probably post it some time around night. :raritywink:

3211182 There is tons moar to come my friend. Tons. :twilightsmile:

oh heres a title suggestion for the next chapter your choice to take it or not

party time: EPIC PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!

of course if their not going to equestria next chapter save it for when they do but again your choice to use it as a title or not

3211774 For now, the titles of chapters are going to be relevant to what's going to happen. However, you'll notice that once things start to go chaotic further into the story, i'm just going to be spitting out random titles, so there I'll be more open to suggestions. :eeyup:

Edit: Also, cross your fingers, along with everyone else that this gets featured!!! :pinkiehappy:

3211827 cool thats nice to know i might suggest more as time goes on

Looking forward to the introductions...Please make it more believable than other fanfictions...I don't like seeing something potentially amazing going down the toilet for inconsistencies...

3224704 Just to clear a few things, don't expect something deep from this story. Although, if what you're trying to say is that "please don't ruin the story with typical cliché material and mary sues", then no worries my good follower.

Just read along, and enjoy the adventure. You'll learn that my friend and I are... far from normal/average/cliché. :ajsmug:

3226036 No I mean believable reactions to the ponies. Just because you're a brony doesn't mean you should reveal certain pieces of information right away, or tell them your life's story, ancient history, tech. Disinformation should be spread as far as possible with the ponies knowing you are lying but having no way to prove it.

3227660 Reactions? Y'know, reaction is determined by a lot of factors. Reaction completely varies throughout person to person, so some might react to certain situations with ease, and some could have panic attacks. Some would go insane, some would laugh it off, the list goes on.

Although what I'm really trying to say here is that I don't want to spoil the story. :ajbemused:

However, rest assured, I got this in the bag. You'll just have to have faith in me on this one. :ajsmug:

The people want comedy? Then I shall serve them comedy! And THEN some! :moustache:

I saw the dry ice bomb thing out at a lake party... They'd strap the bottles to cinder blocks and sink em after they cap em then BOOOOOSH big fun boom.

Need to fix some of your word choices.

I'm tiresome..."

No one in their right mind would admit to that. They might admit to being 'tired' though...

3232711 Thanks for the lookout, that flew over my head! :applejackconfused:

3233168 There's more in there. You probably need a prereader who can fix up some of those errors...

I bet he could just Teled the assholes brains out a their skulls if they wanted!!!!

3234892 But the bike wouldn't have a driver :raritydespair:

whelp... looks like they are gonna either A, die and get transported to equestria(as is the cliche) or B, Joel's device will transport them there due to chris' last thoughts of living there (which i believe would be more original, EVERYONE uses the 'equestria is heaven' spiel)

3234892 1. I'm not that crazy. :duck:

3235174 2. I would be sad if something happened to my bike. :raritydespair:

3235459 Most importantly, 3...

I'm anything BUT cliché, darling. :raritywink:

3235556

that about sums my feelings up

Ooooooooooh I hope.they fuckin burn that asshole feif!!!!!!

3269808 You must be new here :ajsmug:

3268411

Ooooooooooh I hope.they fuckin burn that asshole feif!!!!!!

1. He's dead
2. If he's a fief then he probably wouldn't be stealing bikes when he owns his own bloody castle
3. You suck at spelling
4. And punctuation
:heart::twilightsheepish:

Hold up for a second. Wasn't the bike and the car Joel's?

zecoras right: we don`t have claws, we don't have much fur, we don't have wings, we don't have magic, and not much strenght, but we do have the great power of KNOWLEGDE!!!!!! it's like this: smart guy kills brute. how you ask? the smart guy has a fucking gun!

Well, this is nice. Well written, and I like your sense of humor. That said, I'm over 10k words in, over half of the overall written chapters, and nothing has happened yet. So much fucking exposition that I can no longer work up the will to care. Where is the chase, and how do I cut to it? It's not a downvote or anything, some people would say this much prereading is a good thing, but I just got bored with it.

3291593 Chapter 8 if you want to skip to the mindfucks.

Chapter 7 if you want to read the events before the mindfucks.

Next chapter (working on it) until shit gets out of hand. Then after that, it's all shits and giggles and mindfuckworthy quests and adventures.

Edit: No worries bro, everyone has their own tastes for stories.

I am intreged keep going this is looking to be a good story so far.

3300889 For what?

Author,

Just turn him into some kind of whatever, and TG him while you're at it, and I'll have plenty of giggleshits for you.

3301777 i thenked him for the chapter ! :applejackunsure:

3301784 What's thenk? Is it a fusion of think and thank? Or are you just lazy with your keystrokes?

3301795 no it's something from youtube,and yes it's like a version of thank you!

3301801 Well, Youtube is an asshole to the English language. Where might I find the origin of this abomination of the written word?

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