Dude, What the FFFF!!

by Vallis

Discord

Author's Note:

OHOHO!

What is this? The best thing ever, that's what it is! A WHOLE chapter dedicated to our (atleast for the most of us) favorite villain, Discord! Here's the somewhat average day of Discord, although now with some new "spices" chucked in. The "spices" obviously being your favorite two idiots, Joel and yours truly. Dyuh.

Bon appetite. The next couple of chapters are going to be nothing but JUICYYYY!!

Also, for like the millionth time... sorry about the supremely late chapter. I've been feeling burnt almost everyday, so trying to get this done was honestly a mission. I'm chalking it up to the winter blues, because it's been nothing but snow snow snow over here in NJ.

I hate snow, just incase you didn't know.

P.S: This is how old this chapter is. I wrote this Author's Note back when it was still snowing like all hell. Talk about severe lack of motivation ._.
Anyway, let's hope I don't go silent for months again. I'm being serious, keep me alive guys. Comment, share, idk. Anything!

Again, I'm being serious.

Peace errybodeh! Oh, and stay beautiful as always. <3

---

POV: 3rd Person

---

...Not that long ago...

The very moment the white stallion left galloping with a royal guard through the front gates of the castle, Discord popped in from whatever dimension he usually resided in; lazily scratching his chin as he rotated slowly in midair to witness the random guest leave. Whatever they were in a hurry for, they certainly were oblivious to the distinguishable appearance of Discord. Cocking an eyebrow, he shrugged and gave a long lasting stretch; groaning as he tried to give his mismatching body that one last extra inch to stretch and crack his joints.

"Ohoho!- OAH" He gave a high pitched yelp as he felt a certain portion of his spine pop. After wincing in his usually dramatic behavior, he snapped his fingers; popping right into the castle's kitchen. He poured himself a chocolate milk of glass, drank it in one large casual gulp, and flung the chocolate milk into the trash bin. He sighed in bliss as if he drank from the nectar of the heavens itself, patting his stomach with content.

"One of those everyday should help me put up with the next few days of sass and nagging."

Just as he exited the kitchen, he noticed a fairly tall bipedal creature rubbing its eyes as it yawned in the distance of the large hallway. After rubbing his eyes himself, he stared at the creature once more. He couldn't help but cock an eyebrow now.

"Random citizen pony running with a guard? A creature which I haven't seen in years casually roaming the royal castle?" He stroked his lengthy goatee for a moment.

"...Have I been sleepwalking again?"

After a long moment of thinking, he snapped out of his trance; looking down to the bipedal creature that we know as Joel, who was now looking up at him with a neutral expression. They easily had a good foot or two in height difference.

"Ehm-... Hi, Discord?" Joel heightened his pitch at the end, obviously unsure whether he should even be greeting him or not. Discord, for once being on the receiving side of a mindfuck, slightly hung his jaw as his left bottom eyelid stuck up.

"And then the random creature walks up to me and casually says hello-Do I know you?" Discord asked as straightforwardly as possible.

For a second, the puerto rican raised his finger, but then slowly swung it back down. He was smiling now.

"No. But I know everything about you, Discord."

The draconequus shot a quizzical look.

"Everything. Discord."

Discord still held his quizzical stare, causing Joel to lose his smile as he smacked himself on the forehead.

"Never mind." He waved a hand as he began to walk off.

Discord, still being somewhat confused, shook his head as he snapped his fingers; teleporting right into his path.

"Hey- Hold on now!" He held both his mismatching arms out. "Who are you, and what's going on? What did I miss?"

"Okay, for a second I thought about telling you everything, but knowing how you are and what you do..." He pretended to be in deep thought for a second. "No."

"What? But- No- You-" Discord was baffled by the extremely blunt and stubborn attitude he was receiving from this random stranger. It was somewhat irritating him now.

"Do you know who I am?!"

"Spirit of Chaos, turned to stone twice, and ever so charming. Yeah, I kind of admired you for your hilarious antics and what not, but that was back when I had..." Joel furrowed his eyebrows a bit, trying to keep it as vague as possible. "...Distance, from this all. Although, now that I'm face to face with you, I remember how risky you can actually be. So, if I can just be on my way now-"

Discord's left bottom eyelid stuck up once more, jaw hanging again. So, he pretty much did know everything about him.

"Oh- Come on now. I'm not that shifty. I've changed, you can ask the princesses themselves!" He tried pleading.

"No bro, my decision has been made. I don't trust you."

"Well how on Equestria am I suppose to show you that you can if you won't let me?"

"I don't know? Surprise me?"

Wait a minute. Discord is the spirit of chaos. Why was he even taking this unnecessary attitude from a complete stranger?

"Wait, no- hold on now. You're going to tell me everything that I missed, and who you are, starting this very moment!" He stuck a finger down forcefully, obviously not in a mood to play anymore.

"Why?"

"Because I said so!"

"Why?"

"W-...What do you mean why?!"

"So?"

"Spirit of Chaos!"

"So?"

"I demand answers!"

Discord began to throw a fit.

"Why?"

"BECAUSE! I'm confused!"

"So?"

He begins ripping his goatee off repetitively, regrowing it everytime.

"SO?! I need clarification!"

"Really?"

"YES really!"

"The spirit of chaos wants to make sense out of a situation?"

"YES!!"

"...That doesn't make sense."

"BECAUSE IT'S COMPLICATED!!"

"Explain."

"NO!!"

"Then why do you wanna know?"

"STOP IT!!"

"Stop what?"

He flew over into Joel's face, pointing a claw into it.

"THAT!!"

"So you don't want to know?"

"WOULD YOU JUST BE QUIET FOR ONE SEC-"

"Then how will you know?"

"BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO-"

"Be a child?"

"OH OKAY NOW, LISTEN HERE-"

Discord stopped dead in his tracks, took a deep breath, and sighed. He then chuckled for a second, now realizing what Joel was doing.

"Well played, truly. That was quite the clever act really, I haven't met a troll in the longest of times. Needless to say, I was caught off guard, but I got your act now. Very well played." He began clapping. "Perhaps another day we shall have a challenge? Or maybe even a prank war, if that sounds good to you?"

"Sure?" Joel cocked an eyebrow.

"Very well, pal! That can be arranged whenever you'd like! So how about you tell me what's going on? Hm?" Discord smiled, fluttering his eyelashes as he held both his hands together.

"Nah." Joel said in a simple tone. Discord's eye twitched.

"Oh, I've just about had it with you!-" He thrusted one of his claws right in front of Joel's face, preparing to do quite a hard snap.

"I wouldn't dothatifIwereyou." Joel stated as quickly as he could, backing up his head as he closed one eye.

"What? Name one reason why I shouldn't."

"I'm living here, under the watchful eyes of the princesses."

Discord's pupil's shrunk to the size of pinpricks.

"Lies."

"Nope. Oh, and so is my friend."

Discord thought for a moment, slowly putting a few pieces together.

"Would he happen to be the white stallion whom I just saw running out with a guard?"

"White stallion with a two toned messy blue mane? Yep."

Discord opened his mouth as he prepared to ask more questions, but quickly closed it knowing that there would be no answers. After a few more moments of hesitation as he tried thinking of ways around, Discord backed up from the human; a clearly annoyed expression written allover the draconequus's face. He held up a claw.

"You totally had this planned from square one. Didn't you." Discord grumbled. Joel simply nodded with a smile. The draconaquus dragged his paw down his face, sighing afterwards.

"Arrivederci." Discord growled through his teeth.

With that, he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Joel released his long held breath.

"Thank god that worked."

---

After grumbling to himself for what felt like countless minutes, Discord decided to take a stroll through Canterlot. The citizens were already use to seeing the reformed draconequus walking around casually, a (very) few friendly ones even giving him a nod as he walked by. He didn't care much for the repulsive-mannered citizens of the city, but the few decent ones always lightened up his mood slightly. Of course, he never showed it much. Or never admitted it to himself either.

At this point, he already knew what was the only thing that was going to satisfy his crummy mood. It was rare for him to ever do this, and every time he did; he usually had to be very upset. He stopped in front of his destination. Reading the sign outloud, he grinned.

"Ahh, Bunnyside Cafe." He always thought the name could use a change, just like how the rest of Equestria could in the mind of Discord. Though, that wasn't what he came for of course. This was the only cafe that would serve completely customizable coffee beverages. Even specific chaotic recipes, just how Discord liked it. Once again however, there was more to the reason why he came to this cafe than that.

He opened the door; the cliche bells ringing as he walked in. Everything inside was relatively still and silent; the low sound of the ponies chattering, the quiet smooth jazz adding to the ambience, and so on. You'd think it would all practically disgust Discord.

Well, it did. Atleast, when he visited the first time. Afterwards however, it was tolerable.

But there was one thing that Discord did enjoy, which made it all completely worth it in his view. He walked over to the counter, leaning over to see his favorite barista. There she was as always at this time of day, trying to get one of the broken coffee machines to work. Always determined to get it work, she always said. He couldn't help but smile as he propped his head up with his forearm on the counter, waiting for the bright lavender mare to notice him. Eventually, after a double take, she practically leaped upwards with a smile.

"Oh! Discord, wow. I haven't seen you in forever!" She piped up as she trotted over to the counter.

"Salutations, Turvy! And I know. I was on vacation on a cruise ship! Although, it was cut short. See, what happened was-" He blinked for a second, realizing he was about to give away some... important details.

"Erm, long story short, someone replaced a large amount of the ship's food with... cotton candy. I for one enjoyed it, but everypony else was absolutely disgusted by it. So, we returned in the same week we left. Party poopers." He rolled his eyes.

The mare blew a stray strand of her puffy dark purple/white mane off her face, giggling at how obvious it was that Discord was behind it all.

"Ohh Discord..." She shook her head, though clearly smirking.

"What? It most certainly was not me!" He feigned being hurt, crossing his arms as he turned his back to her. He peeked over his shoulder, turning back around as he leaned in closely to her. "Was it obvious?"

"Psh." She snickered. "Please, I know you better than anypony else."

They shared a light chuckle, the draconequus looking into the carefree eyes of Topsy Turvy. He couldn't help but just remember. Everytime he looked into her lavender eyes, he could only remember how they never looked the same after his worldwide... incident. His smile died a little, shrinking into a small grin as he tried to casually sniff.

"So, the Discord special as always, right?"

"Hm?- Oh! Yes yes, of course. The usual." The draconequus snapped out of his absent mindedness. After no more than 20 seconds, she trotted back with his beverage in one hoof. Perfect as always; his 'special brew' steaming hot in an ice cream cone, little umbrella, and pink foam on top. She handed it to him casually, which always brought a small feeling of joy within Discord. She was always unfazed by his actions, decisions, behaviors, and even his ridiculous requests. It was as if nothing really changed from before, only now that she was more... 'normal'. Just another among the many other ponies now. He took a quick glance at the top of her head, which held only her puffy mane. No silly spinny hat. A small, but painful reminder.

"That'll be 5 bits!" She chirped happily.

He slid the bits over to her side on the counter, and took a sip of his beverage.

'Oh, absolutely horrible. Nothing but a mess of flavors that don't go well with each other at all... Perfect.' He thought to himself as he grinned. He began making his way out, already halfway done with his hot beverage.

"It was nice seeing you again Discord!" She quickly waved to him as he opened the door. He gave a small wave back, smiling gently.

"Toodles!" He turned around, and stepped outside; inhaling deeply. For a long while it seemed that he wouldn't exhale, though he eventually gave a simple sigh. He held a paw on his chest, as if it would heal the small ache that resided in there.

"Toodles... my dear, Screwball." He gave a mellow smile to his reflection in the dark opaque drink.

After a short moment, he noticed something was... off, about it. Reaching his thumb and index claw inside the cone, he felt around until he found a small object inside. Pulling it out, he took a close look at the almost microscopic object.

He chuckled lightly.

"A fortune cookie? Why on earth-" He cracked it open, finding something other than a fortune ticket inside. Taking a closer look at the even smaller object, he almost squeed; gently blowing on the little propeller of the microscopic spinny hat.

You're still my Screwball...

---

After being left in his mellow mood for most of the day, he took a few naps, read a few comics, and played with some clouds as he wrote silly messages in the sky; the reactions of the ponies of Canterlot amusing Discord greatly. Oddly enough though, Celestia didn't come to rain on his parade after the last stunt. Or after writing some small words on Celestia's door which she always called 'graffiti'. Or after he left a thumb tack on her throne earlier that day, to which he expected a furious Celestia to chase him down as he would cackle madly with delight afterwards. Unfortunately, none of that happened, causing the entire day to be an utter drag from square one, starting with the odd fellow who had the nerve to disrespect him.

Discord scratched his nose with his tail as he waited outside of the dining room, the time being 5:50 p.m. 10 minutes right before any meal on the dot, just like how her royal highness clearly stated if he ever wanted to partake in breakfast, lunch, or dinner with Celestia and Luna. As if it were any different from any average meal.

...Well, actually, it was... Plus, he really enjoyed getting cheesecake for dessert afterwards.

---

...Meanwhile...

"Oh, it was absolutely fun. Today was an absolute breath of refreshment, Luna." Celestia smiled as she trotted on her way with her sister to the dining room, still in her disguise as Sunny Skies.

"I'm absolutely thrilled to hear that, Sunny!" Luna smiled aswell, a little part inside her actually enjoying the roleplaying, even though it was just Celestia that was truly roleplaying. It reminded her of their fillyhood together, when everything was absolutely perfect. No stress, no fights, nothing. Just pure love, and happiness. After all that's happened however, she was beginning to feel that things were slowly going back to those days again. Her smile could only grow as she thought.

"Would you like to share any stories?" Luna asked.

"Sure, but I need to keep some to share for the boys at the table aswell!" She giggled.

"Oh, how thoughtful! I'm sure they'd be interested in hearing."

---

The two idiots snickered and chuckled, their immature giggles echoing throughout the entire corridor as they made their way to the dining room. The white stallion had a piece of tissue in one of his nostrils, and a few obvious bruises on the left side of his body. Joel couldn't help but laugh to point where he had to crawl. He himself had a few straps of cloth over his left forearm that had some small bloodstains, and a very thin linear bruise on his forehead.

"Oh my god, I still can't get over it." Joel mused with a cracked voice. He began his second laughing fit right after.

"Shut up, just shut up-" Chris couldn't hold it anymore either, as he dropped onto the ground and began a laughing fit of his own.

"I- I told you! I TOLD you!" Joel pointed at him, laughing in between breathes. "Just because you're a pony doesn't mean you know jack shit about carrying people! More importantly, UP A STAIRCASE!!"

"Fuck you, I totally had it until you slapped my ass motherfucker- HAHAHA" At this point they sounded like smokers laughing.

"Shshshsh, hold on, wait a minute." Joel stopped, placing a finger over his lips to hush his best friend.

For a moment, there was deep silence in the halls.

Then a beautiful sound reverberated down the spacious corridors of the castle.

They totally lost their shit afterwards.

---

"Princess Luna! Why so surprised to see me?" Discord chuckled under his breath as he saw the princess approach with a guest. Both Luna and the guest held semi shocked expressions.

"Oh, who's this?" He took a close look at the youthful mare that stood beside Luna.

"Oh, just er- nopony that you should really worry about. A relative of the royal family."

"CELESTIA!" Ignoring Luna; Discord shouted outloud, shocking both ponies. At first they were confused as they looked back and forth from one another, until they saw the smile that formed on his face. "Thousands of years starting to feel like too much on you, sunbutt?"

"Oh great." Celestia dragged a hoof down her face. Luna could only sit quietly and watch from behind.

"Oh, it's totally understandable!" Discord grinned, although obviously a mischievous one. "A midlife crisis is always to be expected." He then gasped melodramatically.

"Discord-"

"Or, tell me, princess.." He nudged her side as he floated around her. "Are you... skipping work? Hm?"

"Discord, you're on thin ice."

"Oh, psh, fine. Don't admit it then. Face it though, you're a hypocrite." He gave a triumphant smile.

"Thin. Ice." Sunny's expression was neutral, although her eye was twitching. Discord took this as his queue to stop, knowing the patience of the solar princess pretty well. He still held his irritating smile though. Felt good to be the one poking at others again.

"Right. So, what are we waiting for?" Discord rubbed his claw/paw together. "Can't wait for dessert. I can taste it already!"

"We're waiting for our guests. Guests who, by the way, are decent. Guests who don't require to be turned to stone twice in order to be set straight." Sunny practically snarled.

"Psh, whatever." Discord flicked his wrist, imitating a teenaged girl.

"You know what, in with you. Go. Wait inside."

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"IIINNNN!!" Sunny's face went red as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Yes your highness." Discord shrunk down to the size of a pencil, running as fast as he could.

In no more than a minute, they heard a voice far down the hall.

"I heard that shout from a mile away!" said Chris as he cupped his mouth. Luna giggled, causing Sunny to blush a slight shade of red. She groaned as she placed her hoof over her face, wondering how on earth she was going to explain that they had a spirit of chaos in their castle. Although, he wasn't even suppose to come back for a few months. That was enough time for the two men to fix their situation and go home. Though, not anymore...

"You okay?"

Sunny slid her hoof from her face to find Chris smiling in front of her. With a piece of tissue. In his nose. Oh, and bruises everywhere. Her eyes went wide.

"What happened?" Sunny asked, looking towards to Joel to find that he had similar injuries. They both snickered, causing her to cock an eyebrow.

"Long story short, they fell down the staircase." Luna joined the conversation with a grin.

"Wow. News spreads fast in the castle?" Joel smiled.

"I heard a few guards talking about it. Well, more like laughing about it."

Sunny could only stare back and forth.

"Are-... you okay?" She asked the both of them. They only chuckled.

"Your asking a pair of guys who survived a 130 mile crash if they're okay after falling down a staircase." Joel chuckled even more. "I'm sorry for the wise crack Miss... uh-"

"Oh, this is Sunny! Remember? Who I was talking about earlier today?" Chris tugged at his pants leg.

"OH!" Joel gave a small bow. Sunny simply grinned.

"No need for formalities. I'm just a part of the royal family, not a princess."

"Oh?"

"Just treat me like you would with anypony else."

"Told you she's epic." Chris smiled to his friend. Joel grinned, holding his fist out towards Sunny.

"Bump it?"

Sunny giggled, lifting her hoof up towards his fist to bump it.

"Awessoooome." He smiled.

"You guys must be starving. I know I am."

"Yup." Both guys said in unison.

---

POV: Chris

---

"I admit, it is a bit odd seeing you guys eating casual food for dinner, but it doesn't matter honestly." Sunny muttered with a mouthful of her foodstuffs.

"And I admit, it's weird seeing royalty talking with her mouth full." I pretended to scoff, but smiled jokingly. This made her stick her tongue out in response. "Charming." I laughed.

I then pointed my fork at the small pencil sized creature guy thing that was sitting distantly from us all.

"What's up with that thing?"

"Hm? Oh-" Sunny coughed, wiping her mouth with her napkin. "Oh, that's um... Discord."

Discord simply scoffed, causing me to cock an eyebrow. Here I was thinking it was some type of... toy, one moment ago. He then grew to a rather tall size, pretty much beating Joel easily by a whole foot. Maybe even two. He then snarled at me.

"And I am not a thing. I am a draconequus." He said, puffing his chest out as he crossed his arms.

"Oh... sorry, dude. Didn't mean any harm, I was just confused was all." I awkwardly smiled, but just took another bite of my foodstuffs, trying to make it water under the bridge as soon as possible.

"You don't have to be worried about him bro." Joel elbowed me gently, giving a carefree smirk. "In fact, he's harmless now. If only you remembered..."

"Oh? Uh, okay... I guess?" I'm just lost as always.

Oh well. This grilled cheese is bangin' though.

---

POV: Discord

---

Don't worry about him he says. He's harmless now he says. OH I'm quite the rabid prankster, and I would put you in the biggest loop of a prank that you'll be begging me FOR ANSWERS!! Just like how you refused to answer my humble questions. I have never been so humiliated, why if ONLY I could just have one minute with you. I swear, I'd make it worth your while, you and your stupid friend.

Well... I mean, atleast your friend apologized for calling me a thing.

Nononono. That doesn't matter. A friend of yours is an enemy of mine!! Consider this battle lost, Joel... but the war has only begun.

...

I just need to find a way to get you without being turned to stone.

Now, if only I could find the smallest loophole, that's all it would take. Nooo, that's impossible... I've thought for countless days already, it's airtight. I stroked my beard in thought, still waiting for my dinner. These ponies always serve me last. It grinds my gears sometimes, but eh. I don't even know why I eat, I'm immortal!

I digress.

See, when I broke out the first time... I had blackmailed Celestia with the most perfect idea ever! It was the only reason why I had such freedom, forcing the elements of harmony to do her dirty work for her! OH, how that made her furious. It was genius.

Ugh, but silly me. I've locked myself in the most inescapable trap I've ever walked in... though don't get me wrong, I do adore my dear Fluttershy.

Sigh. Woe is me.

If only I could blackmail you with another genius idea, Celestia. If only. But alas, I'm forced to sit here by all of you, waiting for my dinner as you eat without a care or worry in the world, Sunny Skies. Pft, I bet your guests here don't even know that you're Celestia! You hypocrite, accusing me of being lazy-

...Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Yes.

Ohohoho. AHAHAHA. This. Is.

GOLDEN!

---

POV: 3rd Person

---

A servant delivered Discord's dinner, causing him to chuckle. Though, it was a mischievous chuckle. Perhaps, it wasn't the food that got him so giddy all of a sudden?...

No. He clearly had an idea in the works beneath that skull of his.

He picked up his spoon, placing a single pea from his plate onto the spoon as if he was preparing a catapult. He then flicked it at Sunny's face, giggling madly for a moment before putting on a poker face the very second she turned to look at him. He added a monocle on one eye, sipping his tea with his pinky up in the air as if he was the most proper gentleman on the table. Discord looked at Sunny, throwing his arms up as if he was completely innocent.

"I know that was you, Discord." Sunny monotoned with an as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

"With what evidence?" He retorted.

"I clearly saw you do that, bro." The white stallion added with his mouth full.

"Oh, psh, whatever. Are you her boyfriend or something?" Discord waved a paw. The stallion furrowed his brows trying to appear irked, though the slight tint of red on his face told the opposite.

"Hey! C'mon man, just say you're sorry!"

Discord snapped his fingers, a pair of fake headphones appearing over his ears with DJ Pon-3's energetic face on the sides. Sunny just grabbed Vallis's hoof, inhaling deeply.

"Thank you Vallis, really. It's okay, I'll just bear with it as always." She assured. Chris simply nodded, a very light tinge of red appearing on his cheeks.

After another few moments, they started to pick up conversation again, and Discord took it as his signal to throw another. However, this time at the human.

"OW, what the fu-" Joel rubbed his left eye, blinking to see if the blur left his vision every so often.

"DISCORD! OUT WITH YOU!" Sunny snapped.

"Nnnnah." He replied nonchalantly.

"That's it, I'm going to message Celestia." Sunny got up, clearly having no patience.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sunny Skies." Discord stopped her right in her tracks. His tone was almost mocking, in a way.

Joel furrowed his brows slightly. He couldn't tell how, but he was almost sure the draconequus was mocking him in particular.

"Why not?.." Sunny cocked an eyebrow.

"I wonder, where is Celestia exactly?" Discord stroked his beard, an almost invisible smirk forming on his mouth.

"Out of town, she's been quite busy." Luna interjected. "And if you continue disrupting, I'm sure Celestia will not hesitate to have the elements intervene."

"Oh no, not the elements!" He feigned his fear, clasping both paw/claw together in a dramatic fashion. "See, how are you going to do that? I'm sure Celestia is doing very important work, possibly being undercover, and I'd hate to see you blow her cover."

Sunny inhaled briefly, though she did her best to appear calm. She knew what he was up to now. Another one of his 'grand schemes'. This wasn't good, not at all.

"What are you talking about?" Luna tried her best to keep the conversation subtle; she too had picked up what he was on to now. At this point, the guys were simply watching them bicker back and forth, completely clueless as to what was happening.

"You know very well what I'm talking about." Discord flicked another pea at Sunny, though this time she simply stood still with an irritated expression. She remained silent.

Things were clearly not right anymore. Atleast, it was that much that the two guests had learnt now in that brief second.

"You should sit down Sunny! All the blood rushing to your head will do no good for your legs!" Discord said in a fake tone of worry. "Also, I don't have an appetite for this food anymore. I'd say it's time to bring in the dessert!" He almost squeed in delight.

In the small celebration for dessert, the white stallion could've sworn that he saw a quick flash of a smirk on the draconequus's face. It definitely wasn't a playful smirk. It was absolutely the type of smirk one gave when they had an upper hand in something; like when playing the game changing move against an opponent in chess, or having the best winning hand in poker. At this point, everypony and human had an idea of what was going on.

Though, the two guests were only getting the short end of the stick.

---

POV: Chris

---

...After dinner, Sunny and I are walking to our rooms...

"Ohh, okay I think I understand now. Discord is basically here because of this... reformation from his evil ways." I questioned.

"Yup, you got it." She nodded.

"So we're forced to deal with his shenanigans."

"Well... normally, no."

"Then what's going on?" I was confused... again.

"...Vallis, I think it's very sweet of you that you worry, truly." She smiled. I couldn't help but smile back, feeling a tingling sensation on my face. "But I'll have things in control by tomorrow. Promise."

"Gotcha." I nodded.

As we trotted onwards for another short moment, I saw that we were getting close to our rooms

"So, you didn't forget your key this time, right?" I asked, smiling jokingly at the end of the sentence. She started to giggle.

"I have it, no worries. I won't pester you again tonight." She smiled.

...Fucking gorgeous smile.

Shut up. I don't know if it's the potion talking, or me anymore. Whatever.

"Cool. Now I don't have to be sleep-snuggled again tonight." I joked. This caused her to blush.

"Oh goodness, I-I'm sorry. I thought I left quickly enough without waking you, but I guess I did."

"What? N-No no, I was asleep! In fact I didn't notice you were gone until I woke up!"

"Wait... then. How did you know I.." She held a hoof up beneath her chin.

"Well, you kind of started that about... last night, half an hour in after laying in bed with me. You were sound asleep by then, but you kind of turned around, and... well-" I scratched my foreleg awkwardly, looking down to the ground. Agh-, my face is burning up again. The hell is up with that? The awkwardness is real.

"So, you actually allowed me to... snuggle with you the entire night?" Her voice almost dropped at the end, clearly embarrassed. My face was searing now.

...Wait... there's no way I'm actually blushing. What? I'm usually so chill in these kind of situations.

Oh man... the awkwardness is so real right now.

Sssshhhhhit.

Y'know what? Anon, I'm terribly sorry for lying, yes I've had some girlfriends, but I mean "girl" friends, not- oh you know what I mean god damnit. As badass and fearless as I may seem with my lifestyle, I-I... I'm a total geek around girls. Oh, pppfffffuck it. I adore them. In truth, I-... I'mahopelessromantic, butI'malwaysindenial.

There I said it.

What?...

...Sigh. Ok.

In truth... I'm a hopeless romantic in denial of it.

Happy? Yeah, I know, what a bombshell. Onwards with the fucking story already...

I kept on scratching my foreleg, the floor being of 'great interest' to my eyes at the moment. I couldn't just leave her hanging. I just blurted it out.

"...Yes."

I looked up, my face undoubtedly as red as a tomato, which must've looked great with my white coat. I was surprised, however, to find her looking back with the exact same facial expression. It was almost like a mirror.

Blush. Dumbfounded. Just goofy looking.

It just made me maintain my tomato paste face even further. The thought was very flattering, and it was an endless domino effect, knocking back and forth from me to her.

"Um." Was her only reply.

"I- I'm sorry." I wasn't sure what to say.

"No, no it's-it's alright. I just- It's a habit of mine, I-I usually cuddle with something like my pillow- or- it's just weird."

"Hey, no, I-I totally get you, really. I do that sometimes. It-It's cool."

Silence. The even more awkward type where you just look at each other for what feels like forever.

"Oh- g'night I guess?" She laughed nervously.

"Right- right, g'night!" I smiled, chuckling nervously. I took the last few steps to my door, and began to fight with the door knob.

"Your door's locked. Again." She chimed in, grinning. I looked at her in question.

Dejavu... didn't this happen last night?

I looked around like a dumbass, facepalming- or... face... hoofing?... at the last moment. Right, the key. Fuck me. I quickly grabbed it from the top of the door frame, unlocked the door, and slipped it back to its place. Twisting the knob, it opened, much to my relief.

"Thanks." I smiled, shaking my head in disbelief of my dumbassness.

"Anytime." She giggled, slipping into her room.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... great.

I think I like her...