Dude, What the FFFF!!

by Vallis


Octavia Philha- Phalhi- Philar- ..Who Now?


POV: 3rd Person


It's an early morning, and everypony (plus human and dragon) was at the dining room, waiting for their breakfast. The whole set was there; Celestia, Luna, Chris, Joel, Twilight, and her assistant Spike. All, except Sunny Skies. Of course, only Chris was the one to notice more than anyone else at the table, since he woke to find that he was alone, rather than being sleep-snuggled by Sunny. He finally decided to bring it up, since it was a bit too quiet. That, and everyone was still kind of groggy.

"Have you guys seen Sunny? She's been gone since morning." He blurted.

"Who?" Joel inevitably responded, obviously not knowing who it was.

"Just a relative of mine that I invited," Celestia responded politely, yawning as she covered her mouth. "She really enjoys going outside for food, cafes in particular for breakfast."

"Ohh, gotcha." Chris fiddled with his hooves, casually looking around. Eventually, he spotted Luna, who lazily had her head on top of her forelegs on the table. Much like your average sleep deprived highschool student trying to get some sleep on those horrid school tables. He thought for a second whether he should leave her alone or not, but spoke up once again to avoid the awkward silence.

"Luna, you okay there?" He reached over to her side of the table, gently waving a hoof in front of her eyes which seemed to be lost in a world of their own. Eventually, she snapped out of it.

"Hm? Oh, yes. I'm fine..." She yawned in midsentence. "I just had a hard time sleeping after having the most odd dream in quite a while. It was so vivid too."

"Would you like to share?" Celestia suggested with a gentle grin.

"Ehh... it's a bit foggy, but.. I remember being on this type of.." She paused to think for a second. "Show."

Everyone was intrigued at this point, all eyes on her.

"There was a host. An audience, and some odd things here and there that were pointing at me and the host. He interviewed me, and it was fun to be honest." Another yawn. "Oh! They also let me do what was called... a 'hotlap' in their... oh for crying outloud." She struggled to remember.

"That's.. truly an interesting dream, Luna." Celestia subtly cocked an eyebrow. "Just keep going if you can't remember a certain part."

Chris was eating this up. It was somewhat uncanny for him, as he started to think about how it sounded alot like the TV show he use to watch alot, 'Top Gear'.

"Did they put your lap time up on a board aswell, and show you and the audience footage of your hotlap?" He smirked jokingly.

"Ah! Yes! Er- How did you... know?" She stopped and thought for a moment. "Hold on a second." She pointed her hoof at Joel, causing him to return a quizzical expression. She then floated her hoof over to Chris, ending it with a quizzical stare of her own.

"They... were your kind."



Joel and Chris looked at each other for a long moment. Then, an idea formed in the once-human's mind. If she answered this correctly, he swore the hairs on his neck were going to stand.

"And the hosts name was... Jeremy-" He motioned his a hoof in a manner that asked for the princess to finish the sentence. And that she did.

"Clarkson! Clarkson was his last name!" She responded almost immediately. Like Chris thought, he felt goosebumps. That was no coincidence. For a moment, everyone was lost. The two however; Luna and Chris, were on the same page now.

"We're... definitely having a chat after breakfast. Aren't we." said the white stallion, as if it were fact. As if on queue, a bunch of servants brought the large breakfast, easily serving everyone at the table in no more than 10 seconds flat. They stood at attention behind everyone, awaiting for command.

"Yes." Luna acknowledged.

With that, they began eating.


POV: Chris


...After breakfast...









"So, yes, I'm able to 'dreamwalk', as you say. Although, not many know about it. Even Celestia doesn't know much about it. It's just a thing I was able to do ever since I was a young filly." Luna finished.

"Right, but, how does that experience of yours being at Top Gear sound so... authentic? I mean, even if you could dreamwalk into my dream, I've never had that experience myself. Only by watching it through TV, like I mentioned before." I countered.

"You know what... I'm not sure myself. Maybe I'll be able to remember how it all started in the first place as the day goes by. I'll let you know if I do." She smiled as she began to get up off the seat, but sat back down quickly. "Oh, I almost forgot to mention something."

"Hm? I hummed.

"Last night, I sent a letter to a musician in Canterlot. I've been aware of your slight anxiety from missing your... usual appendages." She smiled.

'...My hands... Sigh.'

"Mhm?" I acknowledged.

"She's an earth pony, which what you are at the moment." She pointed a hoof at me. "But, she possesses a skill which no other of her race has. In fact, it's the very reason why she's the only musician that is an earth pony."

"Huh. What would that be?" I questioned.

"You should get going now. She's at the Canterlot music hall, which is right in the middle of town. She's expecting you to be there at around 9 a.m. You've got about..." We both looked at the clock on the wall. 15 minutes.

I better get going. I have a thing about always being on time. Sharp. I hate to make bad impressions.


I practically leaped off my chair, opening her bedroom door into the corridor, but stopped as I remembered something.

She dodged my question.

"Wait, what does this have to do with helping me?" I turned my head.



"Oh, you'll see." She only smiled, and closed the door.





Oh, another thing.



I don't even know where this fucking place is.


Right, okay. So, Luna isn't that massive of a troll. She had a guard waiting to escort me to the music hall, which we got to with 3 minutes to spare. I mean, sure, we bumped over alot of ponies on the way (like I care about those pricks though), and I think I may have knocked someone's coffee allover their face... but atleast I'm on time. Here we were, the guard and I, outside of the Canterlot music hall. Quite a swanky place it was too.

"Dude, huge thanks." I panted as I faced towards the guard. He simply saluted.

"Not a problem, master Vallis. I'll be waiting out here." He replied, standing at attention.

Nah. Not this 'master' bullshit again.

I held out my hoof, to which he only stared at.

"C'mon bro. Bump it." I offered.

He stared at me for a long moment, before taking a quick glance around to see if anypony was looking at us in particular. Then, he gave a small grin, and bumped it. I smiled like an idiot. I always enjoy putting a smile on people's faces.

"I'll see you in a bit, uhh- what's your name?" I asked.

"Silverback, sir. But, just Silver would be fine."

"Right. Just Vallis would be nice, Silver. Deal?"

He grinned again.

"Deal."


Soon as I entered the theater, first thing I noticed was how fresh it was in here. I don't know if it's just me, but that seems to be a common thing in places like these? Theaters, music hall, broadway, what have you. They're all always fresh in the inside? Eh, I digress. I began looking around the empty theater, only to find a grand piano sitting by itself on stage. Everything was dark, save for the stage, which only had a large spotlight shining upon the piano. Very dramatic, but I mean it's a theater. It's to be expected. I then heard a few hoofsteps walking on the soft rug isle behind me. I turned to find a mare approaching me with a smile.

"Oh, are you the guest sent by the princess herself?" She asked as she held out a hoof for a shake. I shook it of course, and smiled back. First thing I noticed were the circular glasses that were sitting at the end of her muzzle. Classy. Of course, we have to be classy in Canterlot.

"Yeah, that'd be me. Are you um... who I came here for?" I gave the mare a quick scan, even though I didn't know how she was supposed to look like.

"Oh no no," She giggled. "I'm her manager. Octy is behind the stage at the moment. She's the only one up there, so she's hard to miss." She giggled once more. "She enjoys having the theater to herself. It's why she likes coming here very early."

'Octy? Is that her name?'

"Oh, gotcha. Thanks!" I shook her hoof once again.

"Not a problem dear!" She replied with a tone of genuine kindess.

Finally. Someone decent in this town.




Just as I turned around, I quickly noticed the mare now sitting behind the piano on the stage, lifting up the cover off the keys. I stood there in silence, and felt a hoof touch my shoulder. I turned to face the manager again.


"Um... I hope you don't mind, but... she's going to do her... morning 'exercise'. She really prefers to be undisturbed until she's done." She said with a very quiet tone. Not questioning why, I lowered my voice aswell.

"Morning exercise?" I asked.

"Yes. It's her way of saying... 'getting it to flow'. Her music, that is."

"Ah. Alright then, I'll just sit until she finishes I guess?"

"That'd be nice, dear. Bye now!" She smiled and waved as she trotted up the isle. I waved back with a smile of my own, and made my way quickly (but quietly) to one of the front row plush high-class theater seats. Lord, the seats make up for the douchebaggery of these townfolk. Yeeessss, they're that comfy.

Whoa. Are these seats heated, or is my ass trippin'?









Shck














The sound of the piano stool sliding forward caught my attention, my eyes now on the grey coated mare. Her mane was almost jet black, her lavender/purple eyes completely focused on the piano's keys. She simply sat there for a long while, until she slowly lifted her left hoof up to hover over the middle of the piano.

Wait a minute.

That's right.

She's an earth pony.

No magic, no wings, just hooves and a cutie mark.

I unconsciously leaned forward a bit. My interest was definitely piqued now. What exactly was this skill of her's?

She moved her hoof left and right slighty over and over, until she stopped, and closed her eyes. Finally, she began to play the keys.


She was holding her hooves over the keys as they played, hovering by only inches as she made the movements left and right with that fluent motion of a real pianist as if she had...


Fingers.






This had to be her skill, as mind boggling as it was. The keys weren't even making contact with her hooves, yet they were being played with practically invisible fingers or something. For now, I'm chalking it up to magic.









What amazes me though, is the way she was doing this like nothing.


There's no way this is her getting her 'flow' on.



[0:14]It's raw. Coming straight from her heart and mind.


There aren't any music sheets.


Oh Christ.


It's as if she's warming up or something. That's... impressive.


Gees. Her finger coordination (if that's even possible) is ridiculous.


I haven't felt this appreciation for music in the longest of time.



[0:48]I can hear that piece of flamenco going on there.


Just... raw. Like I said. She simply does it.


Like nothing.



[1:02]Leaving that chord hanging...


...transitioning flawlessly to her style again.



[1:13]High notes, stroking the keys down the scale little by little...



[1:34]Oh lord, this is... this is just plain toccata. She has to be showing off.


Again, so pure.


The hairs on my neck are standing.


The reverb in this large theater definitely suits it well.


I can only sit here and admire.



[1:55]It reminds me just a little of bach. Sometimes.



[2:05]Then, back to simplicity. It can be just as beautiful.



[2:29]...Is... Is that?



No.


That's definitely Beethoven.


...How.


Beethoven was born in Germany.


This is... this is Equestria.


Maybe it could be coincedence.


Music can vary only so much.



[3:30]Wait, no. That's unmistakably Beethoven.



That sounds an awful lot like Moonlight Sonata. Hands down.


How does she know.



Questions... I definitely have questions now.



[4:00]Regardless... I stood still until the last note. Absolutely flawless. Everything. The way she played it, not a single note off key, not a single screw up. Impeccable.. clearly a gift.

[Close the link tab now.]

Although, there are definitely some questions now. What was up with that Beethoven insertion?..








"How was that?" She spoke up, grinning at me as she witnessed my hypnotized state. Her expression was mellow, but in a good way. Her stare didn't feel piercing, it was calm and easygoing. Her grin wasn't subtle, it was simply a calm grin.

Well, her entirety is pretty much mellow too. That's a perfect way of describing it.

I broke out of my trance, chuckling at how obvious it must've been that I zoned out pretty hardcore as she played.

"Well, you had me locked under your spell real good." I chuckled even more.

'Please. I beg of you, keep playing.' Is more of what I really wanted to say.

She smiled.

"I'm glad you enjoyed. It's been a while since I've had a one pony audience." She slid the keyboard's wooden cover back on. "I assume you're the pony that I'm waiting for?"

"Yep. That'd be me."

"Well, I'll have you know that this will take more than just one shot."

"...Playing the piano, or learning to do what you did there to actually play the piano?" I joked. She laughed, thankfully. It was good to know she had a sense of humor.

"The latter, my friend. The latter." She stood up from her seat, gently pushing it in.

"Right. I figured there'd be a catch." I pursed my lips. I then stood up from my seat aswell, making my way up to the stage; finally seeing her eye to eye. She held out her hoof, which I grabbed. "So, do I have to introduce myself or do you alread-"

"Yes, I was told everything. From when you were found to the very purpose of why you're here." She shook my hoof gently, smiling.

Wow. This one is definitely a card. She's handling it like a boss.

"Oh... heh. So, your name, if you don't mind then?" I asked.

"Octavia Philharmonica."

Ooo... that's a mouthful. Now that I'm counting, that's way more syllables than my full name... and I've always been the one to have the longest name out of everyone I knew. Until now, of course.

"Octavia Philha-... erm. Philher- Pha-... Oh my g-"

"Now now, one letter at a time." She chuckled.

"Octavia, Phil-har-mo-ni-ca." I pronounced each syllable seperately. "Erm... I'm not going to try that again. Nice to meet you, Octavia." I smiled.

"Likewise." She bowed her head slightly. Such proper attitude she has. It suits her pretty well, not bad really. Although, I hate to say it, but I can see through people, and this one isn't real.

We got a tryhard here. Mhm. Dis lady, definitely not born 'ere. Well, that's the mean way of putting it. But no, she's definitely not from around here. Pft.

And I've only been here for 1 day.



Although, living in a town like this? I'm sure even I would tone down a bit after living around here for a while. Maybe I'd even learn their mannerisms, although ignoring the ever so charming douchebag-like one's, and try finding a few decent ponies around here. Make some friends. Settle down. Hell, even find a nice little job at a cafe or something, and in the end, if I feel like it... have a few kids too. Y'know?







...Pshh... Can't believe you bought that bullshit for a second.










"Well, whenever you're ready, Octy." I grinned. At first, she made it seem like she found it aggrivating; cocking an eyebrow slightly as she lifted her head up a bit. I only stared her down though, keeping my smile up.

Ah-ah-ah. I saw that. She almost cracked a grin. It was microscopically subtle, but I saw that.

I couldn't help but smile even more.

"A sharp one you are, Chris." She replied.




Then, with patience... she smiled back.










Just imagine a little happy face like this on me right now.