My name is Jace Beleren, and I'm a Planeswalker. I am a powerful mind-mage, specialising in blue magic, and I sometimes don't get on well with people.
Now, is one of those occasions. Or more importantly, was, as I am now stuck in a strange plane with no way out... And stuck with the most short-tempered Planeswalker I know, Chandra Nalaar.
I need a way out, and fast.
(Credit for the art goes to EarthXXII)
Note: All tags are subject to change as the story is as well.
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I will assume that "planeswalker" stands for what I've wanted to be for the past 10 years
Ponies and Magic the gathering.... This gon be good
That was actually really good. I like the personalities you have given to the planeswalkers. They fit their color schemes nicely. You had a good introduction chapter to the story. Might have moved a little fast, but still good. You mention this is a side project to you other story, but I hope this can update on a somewhat regular basis. I'll be watching this story eagerly.
about time someone does a story of a planeswalker
2556742 there has
This... this I like.
Ponies and magic my favorite mix.
any way you're going to introduce some of the other Planeswalkers in future chapters? I'd kinda like to see a short fight scene between Chandra and Tibalt, or maybe Jace and Karn. Iunno.
2557311 I might be, but the story is in it's very early stages and I have no solid plan for it as of yet. But yes, I might be including other planeswalkers and the may, or may not fight. We'll see
2557325
well I'll definitely be tracking this story to see. I love what you've got so far.
I'm pretty impressed with your fic so far, I'll gladly like,fave, and eagerly anticipate the next chapter!
am i the only one that doesn't know what a planeswalker is? i mean, i got a gist on the concept, but where is it from?
anyways, i'll keep an eye on this story
2558183 A Planeswalker is a powerful being that can shift in-between universes using their "Spark" that they learn to use at some point in their life. This story is a Magic: The Gathering crossover, and if you want further information I suggest you look it up. Namaste x (Edit: I just noticed that sounded a bit aggressive, just trying to be informative, not aggressive. Sorry if I used the wrong tone :P)
2558236 nah, it's okay, i've got to check that out the first thing in the morning
Switch to third person reference instead of first person and we'll be getting somewhere. Using first person makes it sound like a self insert story.
2560488 Sorry if it sounds like a self-insert, but I'm used to writing in a second person/ first person perspective, and have a habit of only using third person perspective when I'm introducing characters or the like (at least in this story anyway).
I'm sorry if the story isn't to your liking (can't please everypony I guess), but this story was created as a second/first person perspective piece of writing and will probably stay that way due to my favoured writing style.
But now that you mention it, I might start experimenting with third person perspectives a bit to see if I could use them more often. (In a new story anyway)
Namaste x
EDIT: By the way, self-insert stories are my speciality. :P (however, this isn't one if them)
2560868 I actually found it enjoyable, just usually when I see self inserts it usually ends up with the protagonist being instant friends with everyone and eventually pairing up with one of the Mane Six. Usually Fluttershy. Maybe a bit more third person and a little less first person, maybe use first person when it's important for us to know the character's thoughts.
2562335 I agree that mary-sues tend to take away from stories enjoyment, however, I personally just prefer the first-person perspective because it withholds information to the reader that can be later revisited from a different perspective and cause some mind-bending.
When it comes to using third-person and first-person, I'll switch between the two when it's most appropriate, and due to the nature of the story, to have a majority of third-person content would call for a complete re-write.
On the subject of may-sues however, since the characters used aren't of my own creation they will be quite difficult to make perfect, so we'll see what happens. (I know this conversation has nothing to do with mary-sues, I just thought I'd stick that in there
)
I actually enjoy well-written third-person stories, just due to my writing style, and the nature of the story, it won't be that common of an occurrence for me.
EDIT: Glad you liked it! :D
The only things I know of Jace are that he's an illusionist and I once saw a game of Two-Headed Dragon with Jace and Jace versus two random guys. Oh, and he made some spells.
If this story is half as hilarious, I'm sure it will be successful.
Okay, it feels like you're jumping into things a bit fast. I can't really explain it, but that's what I'm feeling.
2565539 I feel that too, but at the same time it feels like I'm going to slow. My brain can't make up it's mind
But I know what you're talking about.
2565544
You could have expanded the whole thing so that Chandra and Jace were bickering for half an hour and on the verge of incinerating/mind-raping each other when the ponies found them.
That, and the manticore would have worked as a hilarious anti-climax for next chapter if you cut the chapter at when it appeared.
The ponies shouldn't be so calm about what Chandra said about Jace's past misdeeds, you know, about reducing people to shells.
2565549 Yeah, I probably could have spaced the whole thing out a bit more. But the "Massless shells" was intended as a rather fast piece of dialogue, the the ponies would have been still walking for a few more seconds before they noticed Jace and Chandra were arguing, so they probably wouldn't have noticed, and the scene was between Jace and Chandra anyway, and since it's first-person, Jace wouldn't have noticed the ponies expressions anyway.
, then stay tuned :P
But, if you're looking forward to lot's of bickering and shocked expressions
I was totally geeking out over this fic when I found it but I do wish to point out a warning, while Chandra is hotheaded and impulsive she doesn't just reduce all who annoy her to ash. It has been shown that she does have a compassionate side as well, I'm just hoping your version of her doesn't come off as an idiot. I will most assuredly keep following this story with the greatest of expectations, after all your xover has the most promise I've seen out of the 'Magic' xovers.
2566067 I know Chandra does have a compassionate side, but I'm being careful not to overuse it and make sure it is something that is rarely seen. Similarly, Jace has an emotional side, but doesn't let it out, and there will be a lot of character development around these aspects of Jace and Chandra.
As for Chandra being overly hot-headed at this stage in the story, just think what it must be like for her at the moment. She doesn't like being stuck anywhere, and doesn't like being forced to do anything, yet she is experiencing both at the moment, and has set her on-edge. She most likely went through the same experience as Jace did, but Jace is able to handle it better because of his attitude.
I am well aware of these little kinks, and will be explored somewhat in-depth eventually. But just so you know, Chandra isn't gonna be like this all the time, and Jace won't be so cold and bitter either.
All this is gonna be paced out in a fairly realistic way, and won't happen over just a couple of chapters.
We'll see where it goes, but it's good to see that people are noticing these things, and I'm glad I have observant readers.
Catch!
2566123 You got the reference to the card!
(there will be more, keep yer eyes open laddie 
)
You know, for some reason I get the feeling with this story a bunch of people are going to start making Magic: The Gathering crossover stories so they can call themselves Planes walkers so they have a legitimate reason to get to Equestria and have super/magic powers.
2566281 Probably, but those people have little originality. (AKA: Me, because I have a soft spot for magic XD)
But yeah, I see your point.
I'm glad to hear that your characters are going to have depth to them, with the writing style used I figured this would be a good story but I just wanted to check that they wouldn't be 2-dimensional. Like some of the others have stated, I'm looking forward to how you integrate the Planeswalker's survivalist mentality with the harmony that is Equestrian culture. And most importantly, we need more scenes like the one were Chandra called Fluttershy's Stare adorable.
I'm just glad you made it so the stare doesn't work on them too many stories make the stare all powerful and I just don't understand why.
2566922 Yeah, character development is a big priority for me, and I'll try my best to fit in small bits of comedy like the Fluttershy's Stare bit too, but my specialisation is references. (So keep an eye out for them :P)
2566974 I can see why people tend to see (Har har) Fluttershy's Stare as something that can defeat all, but I know that it's only scary if you're not used to it. Fluttershy's Stare actually has a real-life equivalent, and I've been on the receiving end before
and I just laugh it off now.
However, I think one of the big reasons Chandra wasn't affected by her stare was, (according to the wiki), she is living her 4586th lifetime. (Don't ask me how that works, and I haven't based her resilience up to this either.)
I'm not 100% sure what the lifetime deal is, but if it's to do with their age, then Jace is in his 4582nd lifetime, and is therefore younger.
But IMO, their age doesn't equal maturity in the slightest, and probably have the maturity level of twenty year-olds
(The best comparison to this is The Doctor, and he's over 900 years old and look at him XD)
But yeah, Fluttershy's stare only works on most, not all.
"I takes about a second for her to catch on, but when she does, she breaks out into hysterical laughter." sounds like a typo I think the 1st word should be It.
Jace is best planeswalker! Followed by Guruk.
2569241 oops, I'll have to fix that. Thanks. EDIT: Fixed.
Could you bring in Nicol Bolas or Niv-Mizzet later on?
2582908 I might bring in more Planeswalkers as a plot twist later on, but who I bring in is still up for debate, so we'll see ;)
Is this before the mending?
2707244 The Mending? (Sorry idk what that is XD) I am a MTG fan and love the game, but I'm a bit rusty in the lore department.
2707254
Ah, when the mending occurred Plansewalkers lost their immortality and were largely depowered.
http://wiki.mtgsalvation.com/article/Mending
2707326 Oh right. Well, lets just say that this does take place before The Mending. (I honestly thought the plane-wide nerfing only applied to newly born Planeswalkers, but I can be wrong sometimes I guess
)
2707578 I don't know :/ I guess it depends on how far you delve into the sub-plots and wiki. Anyhow, don't expect be to be 100% accurate, I have to keep you on your toes (hooves)
Huh. This is either before the Mending, or it's headcanon for MTG. Still pretty good, though.
2707848 With all this new information I'll have to implement The Mending as a plot later on
glad you like it anyways despite my incompetence 
.
2707931
and I'd like to see where the story goes.
You're not incompetent, just misinformed.
If it was Urza, Karn, or another one of the older Planeswalkers, then it would fit in better with the pre-Mending storyline, but the way it is now is still pretty good.
2707982 Well, the story will be going in some direction or the other :P just not sure (exactly) which yet.
The new batch of Planeswalkers, the cards we use in-game, are all post-Mending Planeswalkers (with the exception of Nicol Bolas and possibly Venser the Sojourner and Sorin Markov). These 'Neowalkers' are, compared to their pre-Mending counterparts, weak. The pre-Mending Planeswalkers were basically gods. The Neowalkers are very skilled mages/warriors/shamans/whatever, but they are not the best at what they can do. They might have more experience, but that does not equal power.
Even the pre-Mending Planeswalkers that are still around were severely weakened by the Mending. Nicol Bolas has spent millennia trying to get his power back to where it once was. He's still not at that point, despite being behind the Conflux of the shattered Plane of Alara. And that gave him a HUGE boost in power.
Simply put, this is deviating from canon. A lot.
2711369 I guess I should have payed more attention to that piece of lore then. Still, a story is a story, and I may include The Mending (granted not accurate to the timeline because I'm blind) as a plot device later on.
2711400
As long as you understand where you goofed and work around that, it's not a significant problem. It just counts as AU for MtG.
Mind you, I do believe that post-Mending Planeswalkers are also gifted with a really long life, so that was probably right at least. But it'd counted in centuries, not millennia.