//------------------------------// // Why Me? // Story: Dude, What the FFFF!! // by Vallis //------------------------------// Despite this massive mess of a situation, I actually could find the little bit of sanity and focus to appreciate how nice of a day it was. Well, I'm exaggerating when I say 'little bit of sanity'. This is still a mindfuck so far though. But still a nice day. The fresh morning breeze, and warm sun on my face. Exactly the way I liked it. It helped bring some tranquility into my mind as I walked with the zebra by my side. At first, and oddly enough, when we left her hut, it seemed pretty gloomy looking. Like those days where it's overcast, threatening to rain any moment. Then, like something out of a fairytale, we followed the path from her hut into this nice, bright, beautiful pasture. Note, I use the word beautiful almost never. It had it all. The typical random tree sitting on top of a small hill in solitary, the mountains in the distance, the wind blowing through the semi-tall grass. I swear, like straight out of a movie. For some reason though, it felt nostalgic. Although I can't remember much right now, I sure as hell don't remember being in any pastures as a kid. I mean, from what I can remember growing up in New York city, last time I checked there weren't any pastures. Although, criticism aside for a damn second. Of all the moments, now was definitely one where I could really use the positive feeling of nostalgia, along with soaking in the environment. So that I did. I enjoyed it. "Beautiful, is it not?" Zecora spoke after a long while. "Mhmm." I hummed. I was too drawn in to the moment to really give a mindful response. We've been here for roughly the past 5-10 minutes. Although I could really use that healing regeneration potion thing right now, my sore body could wait another few minutes. Yah, all this was that worth it. Suddenly, a conversation began to form. "So, just how bad is your memory loss?" She questioned. "Uhhm, not that bad actually? I mean, it's more like there's a huge blotch of ink smeared allover. It's all there, but extremely unorganized. Some of it is there, and some of it is flat out dead." "Hm. Can you tell me what you can remember? Anything that may be important to you?" "Sure, uhh. Well, there's little that I can remember from last night, but that's really from the massive amount of alcohol I took in. Wait, you know what alcohol is, right?" I asked, unsure if this 'fantasy world' had such a thing. She nodded. "Ok. Other than that, I remember the important things I guess. Who I am, where I live, my occupation. Mostly because that's just me my entire life. Fixing cars, racing, and just being me of course." I sat down onto the grass, which oddly felt pretty soft, and patted the spot next to me for her to join. I was warming up to this new acquaintance fairly quickly, despite our obvious differences. "Cars?" She asked as she sat onto her haunches on the spot I marked earlier. She was taller than me when I was sitting on the ground, but I pretty much towered over her when I stood around. I never really took the time to notice that. The zebra's head was about at around my chest level when I stood near her. "Wait, so there aren't cars here?" Queue worried expression. 'Crap, I hope there are.' "Well, what is this car?" 'Fuck.' "Erm... big, metal... thing with wheels? Has an engine, always rumbles when it's on? Headlights? Doors? Windshield, wipers, a loud horn? Never seen it?" I began to twiddle with my thumbs, clearly worried. She shook her head. 'I'm gonna cry.' "Well, where I'm from, it's a source of transportation. Or, doing stupid things... like donuts in parking lots." Glad I could remember that. It brought a grin to my face. "Ah, one of the many inventions of your kind?" She added. Odd. "Heh. You say that as if I'm an alien." I joked. "Interesting. You really do not know or remember much, do you?" She placed her hoof on her chin. And the smile was gone. "...No. Like I said, noggin ain't exactly working for me right now." I gave a few gentle knocks on my head, being very cautious to not hit the bruise. She chuckled at my action. "My my. This is not good. You've taken quite a hit with your head, haven't you?" I gave the most nonchalant shrug I could. Obviously I was just mocking her. "Gee, I guess so Sherlock." I teased. It completely flew over her head though. "Well, I can't really imagine how else to explain where you are unless you can handle it?" She became serious. I sighed. "...Alright. Just, give me one moment." I laid back onto the grass, folding my arms behind my head. All jokes aside now, it was time to... embrace what really was happening, I guess. So I prepared myself. Clean slate, open mind, relaxed... good to go. "Mkay. Go for it Zecora." I was sitting up by the time she finished, wide eyed, but still open minded. Lemme tell you... so many bells rang far in the back of my mind. So. Many. But it was frustrating that I couldn't figure out exactly why. Ponies. Princesses. Mythical creatures. Magic. Towns. Cities filled with ponies of all kinds. Unicorns, Pegasi, Earth ponies. Equestria. Then, she hit the nail on the head. "Your kin, do not exist here. Equestria is actually... a different world. Far, far away from your home world." I stared at the ground as I pulled a few grass blades mindlessly. "...Gees." Was the smartest thing I could say. I didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say? I was curious though, as to how she knew so much. "Zecora?" "Yes?" "...How in the world do you know all this?" I asked with a genuine tone of curiosity. She then smiled. I'd say it was somewhat cocky, but her humble personality wouldn't let me. It was more of a smile of pride, that she knew so much I guess. "I've known about your kin since I was a filly." "...Serious?" "Yes." "...Like, a tribal thing or something?" "Legend, yes. Actually, there's even a prophecy about your kind coming to Equestria." Whoa, wai- okay. This, I want to hear. "Two of your kind, arriving to our land. Reason being that they would arrive at a time when Equestria would need them the most." She poked my arm. It took a moment for the message to get across my mind. I went wide eyed as I shook my head. "Noooooo way. There is no way that I qualify for anything even relatively close to such a job description. No ma'am. In this world filled with what you just mentioned earlier, me? A human? Hell, even if there were two humans, that wouldn't make a fuckin' difference either." She gave me an odd look. "I remember you shouting for a 'bro' last night. That must be your brother, correct?" I laughed at the idea. "First of all, my brother is 10 years younger than me. He's still a kid. Second, I highly doubt if my friend coincidently got... freakishly sent here along with me." "Well, he did. I'm sure of it. Whatever happened that got you sent here must have involved him aswell. You seemed very worried, so I'm absolutely positive that he must be here too." 'The wreck.' "...You might be right. But it doesn't explain why I couldn't see him anywhere nearby. It was a nasty accident, yeah, but it wasn't bad enough to completely throw me and Joe away from each other for a freakin' mile?" She grinned again. This time, I will say it was cocky. "Don't question it. You woke up in an entirely different world, afterall. How are you so sure that you two did not separate that far?" "Okay okay, I get it. So he could be here. But then there's no way I could find him if he could've been sent to the otherside of the world for crying out loud?" I had a point. She thought for a moment. A bright smile then formed onto her face. "I have a friend who could help." 'So much mindfuck right now...' "Alright. I trust you can be my tour guide I guess?" I chuckled. "I'd be more than happy to." She grinned. Y'know, other than all this mindfucking shit that's going on right now, it was nice to have someone like her as a friend at these times. I could already tell I was going to get along with her throughout this entire power trip without a problem. I'm glad that of all the people... or ponies, I should say, I was thrown to this one. Then from out of the blue, an odd thought had fell into my mind. It was an odd request... "...Erm. Zecora?" "Yes?" A really odd request. "...Can I... um." I then shook my head. "Never mind. It's dumb." I chuckled. "Do not worry my friend. I do not judge." She added a very assuring smile at the end. I couldn't help but continue to ask. "I just... want to know if I could ehh." I cleared my throat nervously. "Just wanted to know if I can... feel your fur." I bit my lip, smacking myself mentally. For a moment, she stared curiously. She then laughed it off. "I have absolutely no problem with that." "Oh, ok cool. Heh." I quickly moved my hand onto her back to avoid anymore awkward moments. Felt softer than I thought. Felt... nice. I removed my hand and slipped it back into my hoodie pocket. The zebra then turned to stare at me once more. "There's no need to feel shy?" She said, almost as if she was encouraging it. "Wha? Shy? Me? Pft, nah." I was a bit confused. The zebra only continued to smile. "My friend here is afraid to show affection?" She teased. "Hey, I totally am not." I responded defensively. Oh, crap. "Really?" She gave me a... look. The universal 'oh really?' look. I fell right into whatever trap she had setup. "Yeah really." She wasted no time and grasped me into a snug hug, nuzzling my cheek as she did so. The longest, most confused (for me) minute had passed by the time she released me. I could only stare at her, completely perplexed as she simply grinned. When I say perplexed, I mean like... confused with the warm fuzzy feeling I felt in the inside. I haven't felt that in... gees. Forever. And just to make sure you're not getting the wrong ideas, I don't mean like it was a 'crush' type of feeling. It was just an odd feeling of happiness. One I hadn't felt in the longest of times. Many moments passed as I looked aimlessly towards the distance. I then spoke up. "...Thanks." I barely mumbled. "Hm?" The zebra hummed. "Thanks. For the hug. It was nice, Zecora." I stated flatly. "My pleasure, Chris." Her grin remained. A small genuine smile formed on my face. Although she didn't see it, since I quickly played it off by pretending to scratch my upper lip. Sure, it was a punk move trying to deny a smile that showed I enjoyed it. But hey, don't blame me. I lost my innocence when I was young in a pretty rough way. I've grown a hard shell. Not my fault. ...It was nice though. We were back in her hut as I observed her finishing the last steps for the potion. I had my head propped up with my hand as I looked carefully at her precision. She really knew how to measure without even looking for reference. Man, I'm pretty sure she could probably do it with a blindfold. "Crap, you can probably cook meth if you wanted to." I chuckled loudly. "Meth?" She asked innocently. I simply waved it off with a 'nevermind'. Interestingly enough, this world has alcohol, but no drugs? Hm. Lots of questions in my mind. All the time in the world to answer them. Which led me to think: '...Will I ever get back home?' The thought swallowed me real good for a moment. Zecora then snapped me out of it. "Done! I combined the fermented potions to make the regeneration potion. Now, the side effects will be a little similar to a fever, but I have a potion to counter that at the shelves by the entrance over there." She pointed at said location. "It has a yellow label with a white stripe on it. I'll be in the storage room if you need me." The zebra handed me the regeneration potion, and left to the storage. "Alrighty." I took a whiff of the concoction. "Ooo, smells pretty sweet." Oh the cruel lies this potion made. I made my way over to the shelf by the entrance door, and began looking for the potion that had the label which Zecora described. Just as I was about to reach for it, I took a casual swig of the regeneration potion, and boy did it remind me a lot of something. "BUCKLEYS EW FUCK!!!" I coughed. "Fuck it fuck it fuck it!!" I took a power stance and chugged the rest down. I could hear a certain someone holding their shits and giggles from the storage room. "BLEAHELAHL EW EW EW EWEWEWEWE!!" I quickly swiped the second potion from the shelf, and unscrewed the cap. I was hoping with every fiber of my body that it would taste like honey or something amazingly sweet like that. I chugged it down, and immediately felt the taste of the second potion wash everything down. "Oh god, that was good." I smacked my mouth trying to get the aftertaste. "Fruit Punchy." I began to screw the caps back on both empty vials, and took quick glimpses at the labels. Just as I finished screwing the cap on the second one, I did a double take at the second potion's label. Something didn't seem right. "Zecora?" I asked loudly enough for her to hear from afar. "Yes?" She replied in an equally loud volume. "You said white label with yellow stripe, right?" "..." I didn't like that silence. I heard a few things drop and fall along with her hooves shuffling around. She then stood at the doorway. "Oh no." She mumbled in a low pitch. "No no, don't say 'oh no' like that. What did I just drink?" I held the vial up towards her direction as my tone clearly went from casual to nervous. "...Transformation potion." "OK? AND WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT DO?" I unintentionally raised my voice out of pure nervousness. "Do not think of any other creature other than what you are right now." "OH WHAT, YOU MEAN LIKE PONIES? I'M LOOKING AT ONE RIGHT NOW! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE ZECORA, IT'S HOW REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY WORKS FOR CRYING OU-" An extreme wave of drowsiness sinked in within seconds. Amount of times knocked out so far: 3