//------------------------------// // Party Time: Hold the Fckin' Phone // Story: Dude, What the FFFF!! // by Vallis //------------------------------// Egh. Lordy. That was the shit of the year in my book. I hope I didn't clog that toilet, I must've shat Hades out my ass, and then some. Damn, I wouldn't be surprised if the special forces come knocking on my door and take me down for acts of terrorism in that bathroom. Atleast there was toilet paper. I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the sleeve of my hoodie, and washed my hands using one of sinks. As I rinse off the soap, I take a quick glimpse of myself on the mirror. Great, bags were beginning to form on my eyes. Only 1 hour of sleep, plus releasing the kraken equals beat-to-shit Chris. One thing to know about beat-to-shit Chris is that I get real cranky. Real. Cranky. God help whatever stranger that decides to bother me. I took a paper towel from the dispenser, drying my hands sloppily, and crumpled it; tossing it out into the garbage. I pushed the bathroom door open, and started my way back to the car. On the way back, I bought myself a coke for the amazingly low price of 3 bucks. Damn airport prices. I pushed the revolving doors and stepped outside into the warm sunlight. Personally, I find the feeling of a fresh breeze along with warm sunlight very tranquil. I scoped around for my Vette, and saw it all the way at the other end of the airport terminal. Yeah, just imagine, I had to run through that entire distance, trying my best not to knock down the people as I held Hiroshima from blowing up in my pants. On the way to the car, I chugged the coke within a minute tops, and screwed the cap back onto the now empty bottle. I like to save these bottles for a little thing I do when I'm bored. It involves explosions. Non-lethal, don't worry. I'm not a psychopath. I just like hearing explosions, it gives a bit of a rush. Besides, I think everybody likes hearing things go boom? I released a throaty belch, causing a few uptight people to give me a look of disapproval. Like I cared. I was about 30 paces away when I saw Joel waving from the inside of my car. I smiled, waving back. "Get out dat car broski! Now we can hug forealz!" I shouted. He did as I said, and got out the car, opening his arms wide. "WASSUP BROOOO!!" We howled, giving each other the most manliest bro hug in the world. After our totally not homo and absolutely 100% manly moment passed, I got in the car and slipped my key into the ignition. I was just about to twist it when I noticed he was still outside of the car. "Get in broski! Watchu waiting for?" I clapped to get his attention, signaling him to get in. "Oh, so I have to put all this baggage in the back myself?" He smiled. Baggage? The fuck? I stepped out my car, and noticed a large red luggage bag, and a small black one; both laying up against the outside wall of the airport. "Holy shit. Did you bring some huge device or something?! How'd you get it through the detectors?" I asked excitedly. My imagination immediately began to flood with ideas on what we could do. "No dude! Ha, you and your imagination." He laughed. "It's just all my stuff bro. Clothes, things. Oh, and my computer." 'Wha?' I asked mentally. "Wha?" I asked outloud. "Yup. Hope you don't mind if I live with you bro!" He smiled as he gave a gentle elbow to my side. I stared for a moment mindlessly at his luggage, then at him. "You crazy motherfucker- OF COURSE you can live with me bro!" I gently punched him on the shoulder, and laughed out of disbelief. Okay, now I wasn't so cranky, that's for sure... but I was still tired. For the next few minutes, he checked the contents inside his luggage to make sure nothing was left behind, then checked his backpack. He zipped it all shut as I opened the rear hatch of the Corvette to start loading his bags. After carefully organizing the bags, making sure the one with the computer wouldn't bounce too much during the trip, I closed the hatch. We hopped in the car, and left without a moment wasted. "Wow, so you're grandpa's condition just... stopped? He's good now?" I asked, but my eyes still on the road. "Yup. I mean, it really sucks that he's already taken some permanent damage... but it's done now, so he doesn't have to suffer as much anymore. Anyway, point is, he's all good now, and I left him with more than enough cash to relax for a long time." He said as he watched the road on the side fly at 70 miles. "Dude, that's great! I hate having to see a person suffer. Glad it's over now. Best of all, it's all thanks to you." I gave him a pat on his shoulder. He grinned, nodding slightly. "Hey man, hope you don't mind if I sleep for a bit. I actually haven't had any sleep in like... days." He yawned in midsentence. I signaled with my hand towards the seat adjuster on his chair, nodding at the same time. "Be my guest. Hope you don't mind if I take a huge nap when we get home." I said with a funny smirk. He only snickered as he adjusted the back of the seat to lower down. "Hope you don't mind I join you on that one." We both laughed for a moment, and within a minute, he started snoring faintly. POV: 3rd Person The small town of Ponyville began to wake up; the stores flipping their signs from "closed" to "open", early woken ponies preparing their hauled stalls filled with goods into the market center of the town, lights beginning to turn on in individual houses one by one, children whining for the extra 5 minutes of sleep before school. Today was a going to be a bright, sunny day. Not one cloud to be seen in the sky. At Sugarcube corner lies our favorite party pony, just awakening from her sleep. She yawned, rubbing her eyes as she smacked her lips. She hopped off the side of the bed, and made her way to the bathroom. As she brushed her teeth, she made funny faces and poses at the mirror, just like any other one of her "average" morning. She then rinsed her mouth, spat out the contents, and gave her huge goofy smile at her reflection. "Somepony's lookin' goood!" She flicked her eyebrows up and down repetitively, bursting into laughter at the way her own reflection looked like when she did her hilarious facial expressions. Soon as she caught her breath, she swan dived into her shower, miraculously not making a noise in respect for the Cakes; who were still sleeping. It didn't take her longer than 5 minutes to take her shower. After she hopped out of the shower, Pinkie shook herself dry similar to how a dog would, then grabbed her hairdryer. She flicked the speed from low, to high, to an oddly extended setting which marked "FUN!" in pink crayon. It looked like the hairdryer was modded for such a setting. She plugged in the hairdryer to the outlet, and it spared no time until it began to blow ridiculous amounts of air; causing it to swing around by its wire which Pinkie barely held as she tried her best to catch the out of control hairdryer. She grabbed it, and smiled to herself in victory. The party pony then pointed the hairdryer to her face for a quick moment; blowing her face into abnormally stretched forms along with her hair, and turned off the power right after. She gave a quick look at the mirror, looking left and right for different angles. "Plush and cottony." She said, mimicking Rarity's accent. "PERFECT!!" She smiled. As she walked out the bathroom, she froze in midair, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. Pinkie felt her tail twitch, then her left rear leg, then a tingling sensation climbed her spine; causing her to stretch out and giggle. "O-O-O-OO!!! Looks like tonight is going to be one DOOZY of a party!!" She shouted with pure excitement. Pinkie then clogged her mouth with her hoof, looking around in a panicked manner, hoping she didn't wake anypony up. Nope! She then trotted down to the store floor, and went outside. She pulled out a notepad from her mane, along with a pen, and wrote something by a certain sentence. 'Foreshadow tonight's doozy - CHECK!!'