//------------------------------// // The Hangover // Story: Dude, What the FFFF!! // by Vallis //------------------------------// POV: Joel ...God, I can already tell this is going to be the hangover of the year. I feel like I'm upside down for crying outloud. Shit, it even smells like- Wait. It smells like gas. My survival instincts kicked in, my eyes opening as I gasped. Great confusion stepped in my mind as I started to overflow with information. I was upside down, I smelled gas, I felt like I was trapped inside a metallic cell, my right arm was stuck, and I could only make out what seemed like sunlight beaming through the small gaps in between tree branches. I tried my best not to panic, and took deep breaths. "I-... What's going on." I thought outloud. I reached my free left hand to my face, only to be stopped by a helmet. Little by little it started to come to me. 'Shit, don't tell me I went off in my bro's car with a fuck ton of alcohol in my gut.' I began to get my bearings together. Wha- a harness? I unbuckled it as quickly as I could, and felt my entire weight fall onto my head and upperbody. My right arm had barely enough room to slip itself out, but the extremely cramped space I was in still didn't let me have much freedom to move my legs. Fucking hell, it feels like i'm in a... Cockpit. "Oh fuck. Ergh-" I grunted. "This is the formula car, now I'm getting somewhere." So far, hangover of the year is now hangover of the decade. I took a quick glimpse out towards the sunlit area as I felt helplessly pinned beneath this speed machine. Then I did a double take. This time, I looked around in the inside of the cockpit, and noticed that the gap that led to the outside was just big enough for me to squeeze out if I could just dig enough dirt out of the way. So I began to dig with my left arm as I propped myself up with my right arm. Didn't take more than a minute to make the gap big enough. Now to escape. Using both arms, I began to crawl along with my upper body, squeezing my helmet covered head through the gap little by little. It gave me enough room inside the cockpit to slip my legs out inch by inch. I repeated the process for a good 5 minutes; head first, then slip legs out. Alright, half my body through, almost there. C'mon Joe, just relax, catch your breath. I held my breath, grabbed a thick tree root that was sticking out from the soil, and began to pull as hard as I could. Shit. My muscles were too fatigued already, and I began to feel sick. The hangover was acting up now. Last thing I wanted was to throw up inside the helmet, so I unstrapped it, and slid it off. I tossed it aimlessly away, and buried my face into the cold dirt as I panted. It helped a lot that the temperature was pretty cool since it was autumn. Fuck, if it was summer I think I would've straight up fainted from the heat as I spewed hot boiling vomit inside the helmet. Fucking disgusting. After a few minutes of rest, I propped myself up with my elbows, and began to squeeze out as hard as could. My thighs were almost out. That made it easy for me to squeeze the rest out, along with my knees, then feet. I stood up as soon as I got my feet out, and stepped away from the car which wreaked of gas and burnt oil. I took my first breath of fresh air, and sighed with bliss. "Thank fucking goodness-" I started coughing, and sat on the grass. Soon as the coughing fit finished, I finally took a good glimpse at the aftermath of what happened. It was a fucking miracle that I wasn't burnt to ashes along with the car. It looked like the car crashed into the soil from the sky like a fucking meteor, none of its wheels to be found anywhere on or near the car. The car itself was fucked up beyond all recognition. The wings were torn off, shards and pieces of carbon fiber allover the site, the shell of the cockpit was scraped up to hell, and the engine itself was bare in the open space as the gas was pooled up beneath the hanging engine by inches. I placed a hand on my head, speechless. I gave a quick look up into the sky. It was still early morning. If I had to give a guess, I'd say it was about 7 or so in the morning. Shit, last I remembered it was late night. I then looked ahead through the trees into the distance ahead of the crash site, and saw what seemed like a motorcycle along with a man laying out cold on the ground about 30 feet away from it. Oh. Oh fuck no. "CHRIS!!" I cried. I ran as fast as I could over the rugged terrain of the forest floor, dodging trees and leaping over fallen branches. I ran straight to the unconscious body, and flipped him over face-up. "Wha-" I choked. I stumbled backwards, perplexed by the completely different face. I then recalled another memory. 'The bike thief.' I stared at the motionless body, looking at his blood stained face. He wasn't breathing, nor was his heart beating. This guy was dead. Of course he was. After a crash at those speeds, I was lucky alone to even survive, so this guy had no chance on the bike. Fuck. Then... Chris. Don't fucking tell me he's dead. That motherfucker is not dead, he can't be. Where the fuck was he? If I couldn't find him near my crash site, let alone this guy... where the fuck did he go? I began to search frantically. Now I was panicking. My best friend did not just die on me, no he fucking didn't. FUCK! Why didn't I just tell him to wait at the bar? Fucking decision making was clouded by alcohol. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME!!! "FUCKING FUCK SHIT!! AAHH!!!" I staggered as I swung my arms furiously, walking aimlessly through the forest. I didn't care at this point where I was going. Fuck, I can't get lost anyway, we're right in the middle of fucking Greenville. This forest can't be more than 20 acres until I find another road. But now that I mention it, I don't even hear cars zooming by anywhere close at all. Not even airplanes echoing from the distance high up in the sky. "OH SHI-" My thoughts were interrupted by a violent trip, causing me to slam onto a cobblestone path. 'What the fuck is cobblestone doing here?' I wondered as I got onto my knees, wiping the few tears I was shedding in my angst-filled walk through the woods. I looked forward, and found myself staring eye to eye at a pair of cyan eyes, both of us giving equally shocked expressions. "OH!!-" I fell back, clearly freaked out by what I was staring at. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he/she looked just lik- Holy fuck. "H-...Hello?" It asked with a nervous tone, it's voice clearly showing that it was a female. "...Pony?" My jaw slacked, although my face was pretty much expressionless. Too shocked to even make an expression actually. "Yes, yes I am. My name is Luna. I mean no harm." She stated, this time being more soft with her tone, trying her best to not sound threatening. "L-... Luna?" More like hangover of the century. POV: 3rd Person Many hours before, late at night when the crash occured... The princess of night stirred in her bed, grunts and words coming out of her mouth. She then sprang up, her eyes wide open. "It happened." She quickly flung the covers off of herself as she swung herself from the bed, forgetting to slip her regalia on. With a fast trotting pace, she left her room and began to make her way to Celestia's bedroom. Suddenly, her mind began to fill with images, causing her to stop in the middle of the corridor for a few moments. She mentally placed them aside for a moment, and continued to make her way to her sister. "I had a feeling something like this was going to happen. Your restless nights and description of your thoughts and feelings gave me the idea that you were possibly experiencing clairvoyance." Celestia flipped through the pages of her tome, and began to read. "When Alicorns experience clairvoyance, it is typically for a large event; whether it's evil, good, or within nature's power itself." She brought her hoof up to her chin. "Although, when I experience such a thing, it's usually vivid and powerful from the first moment. So I wasn't sure enough to say if that was your case." Celestia closed the tome which she read the information from, and slid it back into her bookshelf. "No wonder the same thought was harassing me to no end." Luna added. "Right. Events like the one which you just described always cause either you or I to become the clairvoyant, depending on what time of the day it is to occur. Since it happened at this time, night, which is your domain; it all makes sense now." Celestia nodded. "I have to help the entity." Luna stated flatly. Celestia simply grinned. "Your visions will never lie. Whatever you decide to do is completely up to you." The sun god nuzzled her sister. "Go on now, I'll cover you for as long as it takes to find and bring back this being." "Thank you, sister. I owe you a lot at this point already." Luna chuckled, causing her sister to wave her hoof. "I think you already know how you can return the favor." Celestia giggled. Luna pretty much read her mind, which made the alicorn of the night chuckle once more. "That's a small favor which I can easily do for you, Tia. Consider it done as soon as I get back." "Oh no no, Luna I was only-" Celestia turned her head to find Luna was already gone. With no time wasted, Luna had opened Celestia's balcony doors, and flew off into the night sky. The alabaster alicorn giggled once more, shaking her head at the same time. "...Joking." POV: Chris Moments after Luna left the castle... ...Oh, fuck me. I can already tell this is going to be the hangover of the year. My head hurts like a son of a bitch, and my stomach feels like I just sat inside a washing machine for a week. The horrid feeling of vomit climbing its way up from my stomach began, waking me up right away. If there is one thing I hate with a passion, it's getting vomit on myself. "BLARH-" I stood up in flash, and released the hell shit out of my mouth, leaning forward with my hand propping me up against a tree. "-AAHHHH, HHFUCK!! BLAHRH-" More hell shit. Let's fast forward a few minutes. I wiped the last bit off my mouth with the inside elbow of my hoodie sleeve, and inhaled deeply through my nose. I exhaled out of my mouth, and felt the adrenaline from the vomiting slowly dissipate. Here came the fucking horrible head pain I was feeling earlier. Shit, this wasn't like a hangover type of headache. Felt like I- "OWAWA MOTHERFUCKER!!" I hissed as I touched the side of my head. I had one hell of a nasty bruise there. A bit of momentary adrenaline came back from the pain, but dissipated within seconds. I made a mental note not to touch it again. Now I felt woozy. My vision blurred for a moment, causing me to stumble up against another tree. I held it for support, and crouched so I wouldn't topple over while standing. I gave in and sat down, laying my back against the tree. God, hangover of the year was now turning to the hangover of the decade. Worst of all, I was beginning to think I must've hit my head pretty hard. I couldn't remember anything about last night, which didn't surprise me since I practically drank like there was no tomorrow. What worried me however... I couldn't remember clearly what happened before that. Shit, I couldn't even remember what happened the day before. Or the day before that. Oh fuck, not even last week! Wait, OK OK OK good! I remember a bit what happened last night. FUCK, there was a bike thief! Shit, keep thinking. What else what else what else. OH, fucking hell, I was hanging on the side of the car while we sped down the road. Wait, it was on the freeway. That's right. The freeway. Keep thinking, c'mon c'mon c'mon. I started to regain a bit of my vision, but still didn't feel up to task of getting up yet. I snapped my fingers, another recollection. "Oh... fuck." I mumbled to myself. We crashed. We fucking wiped out. Pretty nasty too. I remember being flung in the air, spinning as- What the fuck was that. I looked over to my left, my heart rate beginning to pick up its pace. "Who's there?" I asked. I heard another twig snap, along with the rustling of leaves. Then the thought that it could be Joe fell into my mind. "BRO?!" I cried, getting up halfway. No answer. Adrenaline returned once again. For some reason, my gut told me this wasn't exactly a person. Shit, do fucking bears live in Greenville? Fuck, I dunno, but at this point I was pretty fucking paranoid. Whatever it was, I heard it take a few more steps, snapping a few more twigs and branches. "S-stand back! Shit!" I took off into a full sprint, the adrenaline coursing through my body once more which allowed me to practically fly through the dense woods like motherfucking Icarus. "No! Wait!" I heard a female voice call out. That confused me big time, causing me to lose focus on my sprint. I tripped and tumbled around a few times before I eventually came into a stop. My air got knocked out, making me hold my stomach in pain as I held my eyes tightly shut. "H- agh! Help! Whoever- AH! You are-" I grunted as loud as I could through my teeth. It took a few moments for whoever it was to make her way to me. The pain began to subside, but I still couldn't breathe normally. "A-...what are you?" She asked with a strong tribal accent. "What- uh- are you... talking about." My voice cracked. "This is the first time I have ever seen a creature like you. Have you been here before, or are you new?" She asked. Funny, she rhymed right there. Wait. Did she just call me a creature? A feeling of uneasiness seeped into my chest, and I decided to open one eye, looking at the mystery woman. What the... fuck? "OH, WHAT THE FUCK!" I lept up, and ran straight into a tree head first. Just my fucking luck. Worst of all, I felt a sharp sensation of concentrated pain come from the bruise on the side of my head. JUST my fucking luck. "AAHHHH OW OW OW OW!!!" I cried in pain like a bitch. I fell straight back down to the ground, clutching my head in pain. Remember what I fucking said? Everything likes to attack my head. What the fuck did I do to deserve this curse. I began to lose consciousness. I tried getting up, but stumbled back down, looking up towards the star filled night sky. The moon was full and shined directly onto my face. I looked through the corner of my eyes, and saw her once more as she slowly approached me with an expression of concern. I muttered a few last words out of my mouth, before I fell back once more into the darkness. "Talking... Zebra..."