FuckingMan.
Is it me or did I just have the funkiest dream that I cuddled with... the princess? Bwah(?) I think I had too much food last night. Gees, that was one of those real dreams too where you wake up for those 3 seconds in your bed, confused by the fact that it was all actually a dream. Ugh, the odd part was that I was acting all weird too. I don't even know, just something about a feeling I was having like if...
Wait.
What just happened.
No, something totally happened. I don't think that was even a dre-
Knock Knock
What? Oh, door. It's the door. God damn, get yourself together Chris. Why the fuck am I so lost right now?!
"Chris?" I heard a familiar female voice call from the other side.
"Yo! Hold on-" I stood up from the floor of the balcony, my sides sore from yesterday's stunt with Joel. I gracefully (totally didn't stumble n' shit) made my way over to the door, taking a few quick stops to stretch my limbs. I opened the door to find the princess of the night staring at me with concern.
"Are you okay?"
Whoa, right to the point. Take it easy bro, please. I just woke up 7 seconds ago, it's really easy to mess with my sanity at the moment.
"What? Yeah, I'm good-" I veered off, noticing I just woke up on the floor of the balcony.
Wwwwhoa. Okay, pause.
The thoughts. Fucking thoughts are everywhere right now. Nothing's straight yet, and I feel like a computer that's still half booted, but you decided to launch League of Legends/Skype/Google Chrome all at the same time because fuck it, you know you do it too. GEES, as if things weren't bad enough with the fucking amnesia. I also have a worried Luna on me right now, scoping me from side to side. Yo.
Seriously. Universe. Take a chill pill just one day for me.
Please.
"Ok, you are fine. Atleast not everything is haywire." She sighed in relief.
Hm.
"...No, not really. I'm still a big white stallion with funky eyes and hair. Still in this world. You're still here, I don't know what the hell is going on." I retorted. I didn't know what just got to me, I brought my hoof to my face in seconds. "I'm so sorry. That was uncalled for."
"It's fine, there are other more important matters that are bothering me." She walked over to my balcony, scoping around for reasons unknown on my end.
"Ok, I'm going to be honest here. I'm sssoooo lost right now. Like, the comment I made seriously just spilled out. I don't know, it's almost an uncanny kind of lost, like-"
"If everything is everywhere?" She finished the sentence for me, emphasizing "everywhere".
"...yyeah. Spot on. How'd you know?" I was genuinely curious now.
She clicked her tongue.
"Discord. He is up to no good." She stated as if it were fact.
"What?" I kind of wanted to say more, but y'know, mind is everywhere and lagging behind at the same time. Can't form proper sentences.
She hummed for a second, and out of the blue she zapped me right between the eyes with her horn. It didn't hurt at all, but it was one hell of an odd mix of a sensation of being reverse stunned, along with the ADHD that was plaguing me feeling like it literally drained out of my nose as all my thoughts rearranged in what was almost like a mental slideshow of-
Whoa.
I swear, I just heard the Macintosh boot up sound in my head.
"How are you now?" She asked, looking into my eyes.
"...but I don't know how to use Mac."
"Hm, perhaps I didn't focus the spell enough-"
"WAIT! I'm good now!" I practically leaped towards behind my bed for cover. Whatever it was, that was one very weird way of touching my brain. I don't even want to imagine what it'd be like as a double, or possibly even a quadra dose.
"Oh, great! In that case, let's go. I'll explain the situation as we make our way." Luna made her way to the door, but stopping as she turned around once more; waiting for me I assumed.
"Er- Okay, but will we get breakfast first?" I smiled sheepishly.
She looked at me with a bemused expression, though it was forgiving in a way.
"...Very well."
"Yay!" I squeed.
...I squeed.
That was a first.
I happily munched my waffle as the very sweet princess of night held my orange juice with her magic by my side. I was practically adoring her right now. Nobody ever spoils me like this.
"So when I found out Celestia was missing along with Sunny, that is when I noticed things weren't right anymore."
"Mhm." I hummed with a mouthful of awesomewaffle. I swallowed quickly just to add in my thoughts. "Are you sure they aren't out and about together? Y'know, family stuff?"
"I'm definitely sure that they are not doing family stuff, as Celestia has not responded to my messages of urgent attention."
"What about Sunny?"
"Sunny wouldn't just waltz off without letting somepony know. Same with Celestia."
"Okay, I admit, things do sound a bit odd, but what makes you absolutely sure that Discord's behind all this? I mean, didn't he go through this thing of reformation and what not?"
She stopped at the front of what I assumed was another guest room. The door frame and designs looked alot like mine, so I just made an educated guess. I stopped right behind her, taking another bite out of my waffle.
"If you walk right in there, I am positive that any doubts and questions will be answered."
I cocked an eyebrow.
"Uh."
This honestly sounds like something out of a movie. I decided to throw question out the window, and took the bait. I slowly twisted the doorknob, the door creaking gently as it slowly swung halfway into the room.
Yup. Totally out of a movie.
I took my time, going in step by step. The room itself was only lit up by the sunlight peering through the shades. If it weren't for that, the darkness would've been almost creepy. I continued my slow pace into the room, slowly shutting the door behind me. I quickly noticed Joel's ol' beat clothing from day one laying inside a small basket. My ears perked up as I began to look around.
"Bro?" I called in an almost gentle tone. I wasn't sure of what was going on; Luna has been pretty serious from square one, the day started off fairly unorthodox with things being more off than usual, and the vibe I got from stepping into the room spelled things out pretty well.
I took a quick peek into the bathroom, but the lights were out. Balcony doors were locked, so scratch that. I then looked towards the bed which had sheets scrambled allover it, and started trotting towards the library section. However, I stopped suddenly, almost cracking my neck doing a double take at the bed.
I barely saw something from the corner of my eye move.
I turned back around and began trotting very slowly so that my hooves wouldn't echo with each step.
"Psst."
No answer.
"Bro." I whispered.
Same results.
"Joe." I whispered more loudly.
Nothing.
I got a bit impatient, and continued to trot silently to the foot end of the bed. I could almost make out in the half darkness what seemed like something beneath the covers. I tapped it gently, but got nothing. I graduated to shaking it, and it definitely moved that time.
I skipped every other step, and went to full blown bitch smack mode.
"WAKE UP BEEYATCH!!"
"OWW!!" I heard a female voice shriek.
Oh, ffffffffffffffffffuck.
The sheets scrambled everywhere, some of it going over enough of my body and face to trip me backwards. I picked myself up quickly from my fall, failing to get the covers off of myself. Meanwhile, the whole time I just repeated the most fastest line of "sorry" 's at speeds that would clog a blackhole. The very moment I finally scattered the rest of the sheets off my face, a hoof met it square on the forehead.
My head. Why.
I had to admit, it was a pretty firm smack for a female. I fell back down to my ass, but much more out of the intense wave of shock rather than from the hit itself. I looked up to the light brown eyes of the semi-shocked mare, a strand of her fuschia red mane falling over her snout.
Oh man, here come the questions again.
Where the fuck is Joel, what was he doing with a mare in his room, should an apology be made, and should I even dare question the mare herself or just walk out right now? Fucking hell, let's just try walking out with whatever atoms of dignity we have left.
"I'm. So. Sorry." I held my forehooves over my mouth, my face gleaming a piercing red that was as bright as day itself. "Miss, I-I-I swear, I thought y-you were my best friend for a m-m-moment, ma'am I didn't th-think he'd have another guest. Oh my god-" I brushed my mane backwards out of stress, only for it to spring back to its static-like appearance.
"Hey-"
"Listen, I-I swear it wasn't intentional. A fine lady l-like you isn't for ass smacking, that's just crude and-"
"It's alright, can you just-"
"Oh!- Okayokayokay, um- l-look I'll kick m-myself out-" I tried making my way, fumbling over the sheets as they would slip beneath me.
"No no-"
"Ohshit, here, I'll just- egh-" I crudely picked up the sheets, tossing them over to an empty chair. "Sorry, j-just, again sorry-"
"Listen!-"
"Bye! N-nice seeing you miss, I-I mean it could've been better-" I quickly trotted over to the door, grabbing the doorknob.
"CHRIS!" She screamed, her voice cracking for a split second.
The hairs on my neck stood up.
I turned around; my body stiff as steel, and my face replacing the very definition of dumbstruck itself in the dictionary for that eternal moment. I was speechless, truly. Even my mind went silent.
"...W-... Wha?" I barely mouthed the word itself.
The mare could only look at me with an expression of unease; her snout scrunched up as one of her eyebrows cocked upwards in a furrowed fashion. The silence that followed was probably the most deepest form of silence I ever experienced. I couldn't tell if it was me caught in the moment, or that the situation itself manifested such silence, but all I know is that I'm so fucking mind fucked.
"...Fuck." She muttered.
I turned around; taking a step towards her direction, but stopping right there.
"...You just called me by my name." I mumbled. She looked elsewhere.
"Nope, you heard wrong." She shook her head, her face still half scrunched in what I read as denial. It was oddly familiar too.
"No I heard right- HEY!" I leaped into her way, bumping her off as she tried making her way out the door.
"Tell me who you are right now, how you got here, how you know my name, and what the fucking fuck is going on?" I said straight out. She backed up a few paces, her eyes widening slightly as she shook her head in disbelief.
"I can't even believe this-"
"What?"
"Oh my god- fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
"Hey, c'mon, we're getting nowhere right now."
She turned to face me again, though her eyes half teary as her expression changed to that of anger.
"Motherfucker-" She smacked me again, this time pissing me off.
"HEY WHAT THE FUCK!? BIPOLAR CUNT!!" I shouted as I rubbed my head.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"
Mm. I'm calm again.
"...Sorry." I apologized meekly. "Hey, that doesn't give you the right to batter me though." I continued to rub my head.
She sniffed, wiping her tears away as she took a deep breath. After exhaling slowly, she finally looked back at me with an apologetic, yet very sad grin.
"I'm sorry, bro... I'm just really stressed out right now." She said in what I finally was able to pick up as a spanish accent-
Wait. What in the hell did she just...
\ Oh /
-> My <-
♥ Sweet ♥
Fucking
♔ Jesus ♔