• Published 31st Jul 2013
  • 12,273 Views, 185 Comments

A Stallion for the Time Being - Sharp Spark

Minuette wants a date to actually go well for once. Princess Twilight Sparkle wants her to stop screwing around with time travel.

  • ...

III: Epilogue

“...And then you garnish with a twist of lime and voilà, one Minu-tini!”

Twilight clapped his hooves together appreciatively, lifting the glass carefully with his magic. Minuette busied with fixing herself a second drink as he took a sip.

“Mmm!” he said. “Maybe you should have claimed to be a bartender. I think I could have believed that.”

Minuette grinned back at him. “I have totally gotten stallions to believe the ‘Celestia’s secret spymaster’ story before, but that was generally due to a desperate need to appear interesting.”

Twilight rolled his eyes. “Please, and the truth isn’t more interesting than that?”

Minuette stuck her tongue out at him. “Ponies rarely believe that. Or worse, they just bug me to take them back in time for one stupid reason or another.” Finishing her own martini, she took a long sip, closing her eyes at the taste.

The kitchen was silent for a moment before Twilight spoke up. “You really did know it was me from the beginning though? The very very beginning?”

“Since I saw a purple stallion out in front of that restaurant, yes.” Minuette smirked. “It was not an entirely difficult conclusion to draw.”

“I knew I should have kept the moustache,” Twilight muttered to himself.

Minuette heard him well enough. “What? No, ew ew ew.”

Twilight looked up at her, a grin forming on his face. “What’s wrong? Not a fan of... these?” With a flash of his magic, a bushy moustache blossomed on his face.

Minuette’s mouth dropped open, then her eye began twitching. “Uh...”

“C’mon, Minny. Gimme some kisses. Mwah!” With surprising agility, Twilight darted around the side of the kitchen table, but Minuette had anticipated his movement and circled the opposite direction.

For several tense moments, the standoff continued, Twilight chasing her around the table. Sensing a moment of opportunity, she ducked back to flee into the living room, but Twilight only saw that as an opening. With a flap of his wings he dived through the air to tackle her onto the couch.

“Eeeek!” Minuette cried out, awaiting the horrible bristly feeling of hair on her face. But none came. She opened one eye cautiously just as a thankfully non-mustachioed Twilight gently kissed her forehead.

She sighed and relaxed, shifting slightly so they laid more comfortably on the couch, Twilight’s hooves still wrapped around her. This was perfect, and she had no desire to move.


As she looked up, Twilight was already levitating their drinks in from the kitchen.

Okay, now this was perfect. She took another sip of her martini.

“Starsy...?” she said, softly.

“Mm-hmm?” he replied. She could feel the rumble of his voice from her head against his chest.

“I’m still curious. What exactly was your plan originally? I get that you’d take me out on a date and show me a good time so that I’d stop with the big temporal disturbances, but what about after the date?”

He was silent.

She frowned slightly. “I mean, if I had a good time, I’d clearly want to pursue things further. What were you going to do then?”

“I...” Twilight sounded like he had been caught off guard. “I didn’t even think about that!”

Minuette giggled. “For being the smartest stallion I know, you can be an awfully dumb mare.”

She felt him tense just a bit, but she wrapped her hooves around him and snuggled in a little closer. “It’s okay though. You’re my stallion, and if I have to take the mare along with it, we can make do.”

He remained silent, no witty comeback. Finally, he spoke up, in a quiet but serious tone. “Why?”

She paused to look up at his face, which held a troubled frown.

“I like you, and I don’t think anypony could blame me,” he said. “But why do you like me? I don’t understand it.”

“Fishing for compliments, are we?” she said lightly, but as he opened his mouth to protest, she put a hoof to his lips. “Just a joke.”

She thought for a long moment before speaking up. “I like you because you like me.”

“That’s not an answer,” Twilight said.

Minuette smiled. “No, it is. It’s the truth. I’ve... I’ve tried dating a lot of stallions, and it’s pretty much always gone badly. But it’s given me a lot of chances to try just about every approach and all kinds of different personas to try and get ponies to like me. I... don’t have to do that with you.”

She looked up at Twilight and took a deep breath. “When I’m with you, I can just be me. I don’t have to be quiet and demure Minuette, or intellectual and refined Minuette, or sexy flirty Minuette—”

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind getting to know sexy flirty Minuette better,” Twilight said, with a wink.

She smiled and gently elbowed him. “As I was saying, with you I can just be myself. And... somehow you still like me. Which means there’s something probably wrong with you in the head, but I’ll figure that out later.”

Twilight laughed. “I think my friends might have suggestions for where to start. But that’s okay.” His hooves tightened, hugging her closer against his chest. “Never change, Minuette.”

She looked up at him, a sparkle in her eye. “Actually. About that.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“I was wondering... maybe you could teach me a spell?” She bit her lower lip. “I think I want to try being a stallion next time.”

“I thought you said you were only begrudgingly putting up with me being a mare,” Twilight said, teasingly.

“Who said you’d be a mare?”

Twilight blinked before a short laugh, taking the time to look off into the distance and rub his chin thoughtfully. “I think that can be arranged.”

Minuette exhaled and smiled. She closed her eyes and nuzzled against him, a faint glow forming around her horn as she used her magic for one last task.

Over in the kitchen, a little black book slid off the counter and floated to the trashcan, where it was neatly deposited with the rest of the garbage.

Author's Note:

The title of this is from a Thirty Minute Ponies prompt a while back, though clearly it took a lot longer than that to write. The initial idea's credit all goes to Exuno, who came up with the brilliant thought to interpret it as A Stallion for the Time Being, with Minuette being the titular Being, and horribly wacky dating misadventures to follow. The original 30-minute version never got written, but it was such a funny idea to me that it stuck in my head and bounced around for a while. Eventually, after trying to figure out a way to make a satisfying ending, I came up with involving Twilight in the mess. From there it got even more complicated and romanc-y and the original meaning of the prompt found its way back in, but I am surprisingly happy with the result. Extra special thanks for Exuno for not just the ideas to begin with, but being invaluable the whole way in getting everything tuned just right and providing constant words of encouragement to keep at it.

For more of Minuette and Twilight's escapades, see: The Minuette-ventures of Princess Twilight Sparkle

Comments ( 112 )

:rainbowhuh:Why is this incomplete?


That'd be me overlooking the option on the story page. Fixed, thanks!

Bravo! Bravo! Excellently done! :yay:

This was fun, cute, romantic, silly, well-written, and creative. Thanks for posting such a joyful story!

Light and laughter,

I enjoyed pretty much everything about this

Poor Lucky

Ouch, 2d6 damage from that pun.
Loved the story. :heart:

:twilightsmile:The "Cadence" pun was so great.

I don't have a Top 10 list of favorite fics, but if I did, this would be near the top. I haven't enjoyed a story this much in forever. The writing, the characterization, the time shenanigans, Twilight's discomfort with being a princess, the confuzzled romance -- everything is an absolute delight. Fantastic work. :twilightsmile:

(Although I am obligated to be a little mad at you for completely squashing my plans to work on a "Minuette is a secret agent who controls time" story that's been sloshing about in my head for a while. I can't top this. :facehoof:)

When the smoke cleared, the clown was missing most of the lower half of its face.

YER GONNA DIE, CLOWN~! :pinkiecrazy:

I really liked this I hope to see more stuff from you.


Nawww, I say go for it! The world needs more Minuette having time shenanigans!

oh, hey, it's my OTP :twilightsmile:


Heh. Only appropriate, given that I'm pretty certain the original idea that I stole borrowed from a friend ended up going with Minuette/Twilight due to fondness for your stuff. It just took me a while to figure out exactly how to make it work right.

(And I still think Uptown Mares is one of my very favorite things and it is a shame more people have not read it)

And this is why my favorites page never gets any smaller. Good show, mate.

This is a fun story and it should be in the freaking feature box, instead of merely "Popular" stories.

I can't even think of a good joke for this. Have a few off the top of my head.

I've heard of bigender but this is ridiculous!
If only Rainbow Dash could see you now...
And Twilight's yaoi fantasies were finally fulfilled.
Minuette and Twilight were kicked out of the local LGBT organization for being too confusing.
Ten years later: "My mommies and daddies are Minuette and Twilight Sparkle!" "So Minuette is your mom, or..?" "Both!" "I think I need a hobby. Perhaps I'll take up drinking."

but if people read it they might want me to continue it


Curses! You have discovered my cunningly concealed plan!

Not if we're all too busy wanting you to continue Hoofstuck!

But yeah, you definitely get special thanks from me. Ever since the ending of The Way the Ball Bounces I've adored the dynamic between the straight-laced enthusiasm of Twilight and the playful cruel wit of Colgate, and it was a wonderful experience being part of getting some more of that into the world. I can't thank Sharp Spark enough either; you two are almost unambiguously my two favorite authors.

Drat. It never fails, there's always at least one little error that sneaks through! Thanks, it's been fixed.

2980987 No problem, this story was a great read. Even for romance-y stuff. :rainbowwild:

(Case you can't tell, I'm not normally a romance kinda guy, sappy stuffs bleh. :rainbowwild: But I liked this. :raritywink:)

So I liked this whole thing, but the series of failed dates at the beginning was just clutch. Caramel is such a dick.

Here are some words on the things I liked about your story.
The setup of Minuette's hilariously failed dates to show her exasperation.
The way you captured Twilight's "makes-sense-to-her" logic.
Twilight's awareness that things were about to get really weird.
The entire date. Was part of a scene from Happy Gilmore?
Twilight feeling like complete garbage when she got "found out".
Needless to say, I put this fic on my high tier list.
I look forward to you publishing other stories for our reasonable enjoyment.
The only thing I felt this story could use more of is seeing more of Minuette's perspective during the important date.

*Grins and applauds* /very sweet and silly fun. The final chapter to me was the weakest of the two for a couple reasons. One. It's really not explained how long they've been together, it feels like it's been a while but then the book implies it's only the day after. As well it wasn't made clear that Twi was a stallion other than through pronouns which made it a bit disconcerting at first. Cute either way and definitely a spot on my faves list.

That was a nice, cute little story. I don't read too many simple ship fics but this one was really enjoyable :twilightsmile:

Nice work Sharp.

This story was very well balanced with emotion and amusement; plus, it was believable, as well.

Great little ship fic. I will definitely read the other continuation story.

...There's more?

I love you.

...And... I wish I had or knew of more to say. My failure to describe stories I really like often frustrates me, but bah. I loved this story, and I'm happy that there's more to read. And stuff...

“Where was I?” she said. “Right. My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I am here because I have traced a large amount of unnatural temporal distortion occurring today and I believe you to be the source. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Twilight looked up in surprise, noticing her surroundings for the first time. Undeterred, she frowned down at Minuette again. “Sorry, but this takes precedence! You don’t understand how touchy time-travel can be. The smallest change and you could set off a whole chain of— Oh, drat!”

“What?!” Twilight drew herself up and flared her wings out. “I am a Princess. I am trying to protect Ponyville, nay, the entire time-space continuum!”

Twilight’s eyes started glowing alarmingly. “I’ll have you know that— Oh, horseapples! There has got to be a better—”
With a zap, she vanished a third time.

10 bits on the actual problem with the space-time continuum being Twilight not going back in time to tell Minuette about the problem with the space-time continuum, causing her to go back in time to tell Minuette about the problem, thereby negating the problem, therefore nullifying the reason for Twilight to go back in time, which makes it necessary for her to go back in time to tell Minuette about the problem...:twilightoops:

Thank gods the mustache thing didn't stick around.

Hah. That's a funny idea!

I approached it more like Looper than Primer. ("I don't want to talk about time travel because if we start talking about it then we're going to be here all day talking about it, making diagrams with straws.") But I totally love really complicated technically realistic time-related stuff. I just don't trust myself to write it, so I'd rather fudge the details and have it be vague so I can have cute ponies be lovey-dovey instead. :raritywink:

Heh, this story definitely had its charm. Enjoyed reading it.

Silly and fun story. Slightly cliche - it was obvious from the start that Minuette would see through Twilight's diguise, naturally - but I didn't feel that it went over the top on the romance. It felt very much like two individuals who having a good time, getting comfortable and realizing they were attracted to each other. A very natural approach.

The fourth season better start soon, just so the writers can get a decent handle on how ponies will feel about their new princess, and how she will feel about it. It will likely crush several fanons, but that's nothing new.

Also, pretty interesting choice to have them carry on with the gender-bending deal as part of the relationship instead of going back to 'normal' and going from there. Novel. Hmm, I was going to elaborate on this point, but I don't entirely know where I was going with it.

Oh yes, and sadistic golf course 'obstacles' like that must always be destroyed. Good work, Twilight.

So this is the best thing I have read since, hmm, ever. It was physically impossible for me to stop smiling, and you actually managed to make me laugh a couple of times. Really laugh, not just "heh, thats funny" either, more like "I have to take a 2 minute break to get my eyes to function properly."

So, yeah, thumbs, stars and watches galore!

Also, I think this is appropriate. Because kumquats.

This story has earned a mustache. :moustache:

If you're talking about things related Lucky, then yes! A lot of that scene is cribbed from the part of one particular IT Crowd episode, plus a different episode of Black Books (also by Graham Linehan – though I can't recall if he was still with the show at that point).

On the other hand, oddly, I did not think about Happy Gilmore at all when writing the mini-golf bit, and was sort of amazed at the similarities. A lot of what I write comes from strong mental images, and I have to think it snuck in there from having seen the movie before. But it's been years and years since I saw it. Very strange!

3091553 Twilight doesn't use colloquialism. Just saying, I think that kind of thing would annoy her more than it does me.

Well, that was fun. An original concept, decent length, and pretty funny too.

I can see the grandfoal stories now. "Grandpa, why did you fall in love with grandma?"

"Well my little starshine, she gave me a B-minus."

3092068 I didn't notice the Black Books one, oddly enough. I like to think that I'm familiar with the series too.
I've never actually seen Happy Gilmore, so I didn't notice, but unintentional similarities are bound to show up in any creative work, as an idea is basically just a convergence of previous thought, so nothing is actually truly original. :derpytongue2:

Yes. Very good. Forgive me for not showing my appreciation fully, but it's 5 AM and I haven't slept at all. I'll be reading more, though.

Well, I'm not normally a fan of pairings like this, mostly because they don't have any believable base or have equally believable non-shippy explanations, but this was a fun, lighthearted read. Good job! (And the subtle pun is perfect, by the way.)

“I was wondering... maybe you could teach me a spell?” She bit her lower lip. “I think I want to try being a stallion next time.”

“I thought you said you were only begrudgingly putting up with me being a mare,” Twilight said, teasingly.

“Who said you’d be a mare?”



Aww, I wish I hadn't read that epilogue :fluttershysad:

I really liked this story. The comedy was spot on (I loved the scene with Hugh), as was Twilight's character. It flowed nicely and didn't get too caught up in the dynamics of time travel—though it left me wondering if Future Twi was actually performing her jumps from an alternate timeline.

It ended on a sad note for me, though. I've seen friends having to change themselves in order to please their significant others... Sure, they seem happy on the outside, but it's not psychologically healthy in the long run (talking about big changes that go contrary to their established personalities, of course, since everyone changes at least a little during a relationship).

Have an upvote anyway. I still enjoyed the vast majority of it :twilightsmile:


That was wonderful and hilarious from beginning to end. Great job! :twilightsmile:


Oh boy, that ending. :rainbowlaugh:
Guess they will not get bored when they take the next step up in their relationship. If they didn't already up to this point. :rainbowwild:
Too bad though I had liked to read what the other four elements think of Twi as Starshine. :rainbowhuh:

And there's more? Yay~ :heart:

Nicely done! :twilightsmile:

Yep, that was brilliant. I would have completely missed the incredible pun that the title is if I hadn't read the comments, and that's embarrassing, because that is some pun right there.
I didn't get the Hugh Jelly up until the last second either, but that was intentional I would guess, cause the reveal had me on the floor.
And, the way you write their date, the setup, Minuette's reaction, their characters... Brilliantly done. Extremely entertaining all the way through.

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