• Member Since 28th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen May 29th

Cold in Gardez

Stories about ponies are stories about people.


Twilight has a date! Maybe. Her date doesn’t know it’s a date, which makes it more like half of a date.

But before she can go on her date, she needs to retrieve her journal, which has become unstuck from time. Her journal, full of hopes and dreams and pleasures, none of which can ever be allowed to see the light of day.

It’s a story of love, science and time travel, and the lengths one pony will go to for all three. Paradoxes be damned; Twilight has a date!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 94 )

You told me there would be no shipping. -.-

“Yes, Spike, it is. I can taste the formaldehyde with my eyeball. I did not realize that was physically possible. Truly, I have learned something today.”

And you'll learn something again in a year, when Past You fails to show up. :twilightsheepish:

Oh, this sir was awesome. I'd love to have seen how their date went however. I bet it was hilarious.

And what about future twilight!??!

Oh, that ending was perfect. I really adore the way you write Twilight. Thanks for another amusing, adorkable Twilight fic.

This was so much fun. I love how awkward Twilight is.:twilightsmile:

I really love your adorkable twilight fic :pinkiehappy: and I'll give you extra internet cookies for including crazy twi into the mix. PS you do know that now your obligated to tell us what happen in the graveyard right?

“Dates can't be expressed in non-natural numbers, Twilight.” :rainbowlaugh:

Love it, good story.


Love it!


Fantastic, couldn't help laughing extra hard at the end.

You truely are a talented writer!


That was great, as usual. The graveyard-incident running joke is now one of my favorite pieces of Twilight head canon.

Oh, also:
“Not everything can be quantified by math, Spike.”
His reaction was priceless.

Hahaha. This was delightful! Absolutely made my day. So many wonderful jokes, and I am now convinced that you write the best Twilight in the fandom, haha.

Thank you for this! It was hilarious!

"Twilight Sparkle saw the Doctor coming from a mile away.
Literally. Her telescope was trained on the road [...]"
Your writing is always so brilliantly in-characater :twilightsmile:
Liked and faved, now to read the rest :twilightsmile:

This was so... awesome! :rainbowkiss: Oh adorkable Twiley, we love you so much! It was a while since I had a really good laugh and this made me crack up so many times while I was reading.

The others have quoted some good lines, so I'll add my favorite too: "This wasn't a time for aroused suspicions. Or aroused anythings. There would be time for that later [...]" :rainbowlaugh:

You do realize that you pretty much need to write one more story in this series now, right? After Naked Singularity and For the Love of Science this deserves to be trilogy. That, and I really want to know how the Doctor liked her eyepatch! :twilightsheepish:

Fantastic. I envy you can have so different quirky ideas going on (formaldehyde cupcake, Scootaloo on a kite, ect) and all still flow so well. Twilight's personality is great, just as your last story.

No, Past Twilight will still show up, just without Spike.

Edit: No wait, that doesn't quite work. Future Twilight then won't freak out about it as much as Future Twilight did now, because she's already seen that things work out okay despite the fractured timeline. Hmm.

This is one of the most enjoyable reads I've had recently, it even convinced me to write my first comment in FIMfiction, hope you do more stories in this "universe" :twilightsmile:

Also, I literally laughed out loud the first time the "graveyard incident" was mentioned :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight / Dr. Whooves is actually a surprisingly credible 'ship. Nice work on this piece; it's got all sorts of fun little crunchy bits in it. I'm always a fan of Twilight's I-have-a-perfect-plan-with-no-conceivable-flaws plans.

Tactical Action Espionage Metal Gear Pony 3: Alfalfa Eater

For the Love of Science....OH GOD GLaDOS is On here RUN TWILIGHT RUN
647962 we are thinking the same thing whoa

I was almost expecting Twilight to drag future Pinkie Pie back with her :pinkiegasp:

All in all, a really fun story for almost everypony involved :facehoof:

I do love your characterisations and the wit in your writing. It wasn't as funny to me as Naked Singularity, but I still enjoyed it and it was extremely well written.

Words...cannot...describe...the awesomeness....

Little black saddle

I died.:heart:

“Haha, yes, we both have nice manes.” She smiled as wide as she could. “But enough about me. You said you, uh... science! You said you like science!”
I stopped reading for a moment, smashed my palm into my forehead a few times :facehoof:, and then contemplated how intellectually stunted that line made ME feel... much less twilight. :twilightoops: You have my pity twi.

Twilight Sparkle saw the Doctor coming from a mile away.
Literally. Her telescope was trained on the road leading from the library to the western half of Ponyville...
This behavior seems to hold a fair amount of legitimacy as far as how one would act in this situation. :pinkiehappy:

“Spike!” she shouted, causing him to jump. “Get the shovel!”
“The shovel? You promised Princess Celestia we would never go back to the graveyard at—”
what, in the hell, did you do twilight...?

I did find a bit of enjoyment from it but nothing that really made me laugh harder than a smile and a small "heh". It felt kinda empty to be honest which I know I should have expected with it being a one shot comedy but it still doesn't change that fact. Your writing is coherent and pretty easy to read though so I suppose it's worth a like.

Twilight/Doctor worked well in 'Beating the Heat', too.

Cool story, bro.

Were your ability to write Twilight so well a tangible thing, I would steal it. But it isn't. It's an intangible thing, which means I'm going to have to spend three hours clearing out my basement to find all the ritual gear and expend who knows how many resources getting a vial or two of your blood.

Oh, and expect Spelling Trouble by AestheticB to hit EqD in about two weeks.

Very nice! :pinkiehappy:

Now let's hear more about that graveyard.

Oh god, adorkable Twilight is best pony.

I had to stop reading when I got to the part with Dash and Tank, I was laughing so hard I couldn't read through the tears.

Eidetic Memory? I have the sneaking suspicion this author has played Star Trek Online.

that story was awesome! it was one of the few stories that truly were LOL worthy :pinkiehappy:

OK I'm gonna see if I got this right and I'm using emoticons cause I can

Twilight A represented by:twilightsmile:-goes into the future, grabs journal, goes home no problem and is expecting it to happen 1 year again thus the loop continues
Twilight B represented by:twilightangry2:-goes into the future and interrupts :twilightsmile:'s loop and in turn erases :twilightsmile: due to the time paradox or creates a twilight (represented by:facehoof:).

So if :twilightangry2: did create :facehoof: then there would have to be a twilight D (=:twilightoops:) that doesn't have the book at all because :twilightangry2: took it from :facehoof:, now we have a twilight E (:twilightblush:) that will be created from the universe that has to hear it from :twilightoops: that she never got the book and then twilight F (:derpytongue2:) that will have to hear that from :twilightblush:

Or reality could just die which will be represented by :twistnerd: cause I never see that emoticon used

So I'm trying to make sense out of a fanfic about a time traveling purple unicorn and her purple and green sidekick dragon and I am allowed 20 emoticons so I'll just pop 5 more:moustache::trollestia::eeyup::coolphoto::scootangel:

“Yes, Spike, it is. I can taste the formaldehyde with my eyeball. I did not realize that was physically possible. Truly, I have learned something today.”

Best. Line. Ever.:twilightsmile:

Loved this story. Truly truly awesome.

Great story. Oh Twilight, I :heart: your adorkableness, and so many of those one-liners were just so good.

649307 My sister's a druid-in-training and there's no way possible you'd be able to get a druid's dragon blood.:twilightsmile:

May the Grace of the Valar Protect You

Shire Folk

Priceless! Just priceless! Although i could have done without rd beIng so dumb, i couldn't stop laughing. Keep writing!

Great story. Always a joy to read your work.

I had to stop reading for a while at Dash's interpretation of seminal research. I was too busy enjoying my wild laughter.

Wow. Bucking wow :rainbowlaugh:

As soon as Twilight tried to Pinkie Promise, I knew exactly what our resident free radical was going to do :pinkiehappy:

Oh, and do a quick ctrl-f for a couple appearances by "Pinke Pie", a curious aberration of a pony who appears to be missing an i.

I was actually wondering if I really was reading a comedy. It was definitely funny but I think one of us might be a little confused on how time travel works.
Your present self going into the past is plausible in the story. You would be referred as the future self by your past self. Simple enough.
What you did here was have Twilight jump into the future. If Twilight left her present universe then there would be no future Twilight because she was gone. Best example is the movie The Time Machine where going into the future means leaving everything behind.
That's why I was pretty concerned that she would be heartbroken in realizing that she would not be meeting herself and instead would be watching her friends solemnly opening the capsule without her and freaking out when they found her.
I apologize if this sort of killed your running idea but that plot hole wasn't really explained.

TL;DR It isn't possible to meet your future self in the same universe. I still really liked your Twilight stories! Please write more! :twilightsmile:

1) Magic.
2) Unlike Wells' Traveller, she was using a spell that was explicitly temporary and by nature would return her to her point of departure.
3) Self-perpetuating loop, albeit with a degree of iterative noise. It's possible this story took place in an intermediate iteration of the loop while it was still working out kinks and approaching a reasonable equilibrium state.
4) The description while casting the time travel spell implies a many-worlds interpretation. It's possible that instead, we're seeing one instance of interference. Rather than a loop, it's more like a mapping of Future A causes Past B, Future B causes Past A, etc. on infinite scale.
5) Magic.

I've really been getting into adorkable Twilight stories recently. I love the idea of Twilight and Dr. Whooves making sweet sweet science together. It's one of the only techniques Twilight could possibly even hope to seduce a stallion that Rarity could not teach her.

Kinda lame end. Pinkie respects secrets. Too OOC.

Great, and I love how the ending left so much room for a sequel.

Alternate plan in one year? Pissed off AJ with her unaged whiskey? Tank the Time Traveler Back to the Future Style?


I was wondering about that too, the whole Green isn't your Colour thing, but then I realized...
It was definitely worth it for that fromalde RUN AND HYDE cupcake gag. Pinkie might have changed in a year. Acid eyeballs being funny has not.

653052 That's right... Nice catch. Cold in Gardez usually characterizes so well, he did kinda mess up on Pinkie Pie though.

>Doctor Whooves
>No Krotons joke :(

>“Whoa!” Dash jerked back in surprise. “I thought it was going to magically travel a year into the future. Like in Daring Do!”
I am actually crying

Honestly, that was beautiful. Beautiful. Your best yet, easily. It's rare that a story makes me laugh so much (people are usually so bad at comedy) and this one had me crippled with joy. It's a crime this one hasn't got more views! Well done good sir, well done indeed!

Also one of the few fics I'd actually want another chapter for! What happens on the not-date?! You beautiful beautiful man!


Then again, "1 Year Later" Pinkie might have become slightly more vindictive... Or diabetic... Her blood sugar might be low...


Meh, humor is subjective. To me the "punchline" "ruined" the joke.

Also, as an aside... whiskey doesn't age that way. It only ages while in the wooden barrel, gaining more character from the wood and evaporating more water.

I love your Spike, he has a sort of resigned world weariness about him that I think really plays off against Twilight's character. The graveyard bit is joining my Twilight head-cannon right up there with the reason she isn't allowed on bounce-houses any more.

The shovel? You promised Princess Celestia we would never go back to the graveyard at—”

Best line the story!

I demand expansion of this quote into its own one off story!

You have your orders.

this fic was amazing, and your ability to wright twilight's charictar so well makes it even more so.
plus the added twilightxdoctor just made my day.
i tip my hat to you sir :twilightsmile:

Here is how time travel works: not at all. It is impossible the way it is described in stories, including Wells'. Hence, the rules of time travel is whatever the author chooses to be, since there are no real instances to compare it with.

Within this story, time travel allows you to meet and converse with your future self.

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